Damon Hill on Michael Schumacher: "Make no mistake, behind that cold, cruel and calculating Germanic exterior... there beats a heart of Stone"

This thread needs more comic books...
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From Sandman (so much choice of quotes):

Delerium: His madness... His madness keeps him sane.
Dream: And do you think he is the only one, my sister?

All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories -- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death. (narrative)

Lucifer: They also held that the way to salvation was to give way to lust and temptation in all things. And no greater percentage of them turned up here than of any other religion. Amusing, isn't it?

Dream: It is a fool's prerogative to utter truths that no one else will speak.

Norton I: I am pleased to see that you are healthy.
King Pain: Healthy? I'm dead, Norton. You ever swallowed aconite? You don't get up and walk away again.

Norton I: I must confess, I have always wondered what lay beyond life, my dear.
Death: Yeah, everybody wonders. And sooner or later everybody gets to find out.

Death: They say that the world rests on the backs of 36 living saints - 36 unselfish men and women. Because of them the world continues to exist. They are the secret kings and queens of this world.

Fiddler's Green: There's a few thousand square miles of central Australia, a couple of Pacific islands, a field in Ireland, an occasional mountain in Arizona...
Rustichello: An occasional mountain?
Fiddler's Green: It's not a very big mountain, but it's only there occasionally.

Barbara: The service drones to its end. I realize that I'm already beginning to forget what Wanda looked like. Is identity that fragile? The thought scares me.

Death: Gets me down, too. Mostly they aren't too keen to see me. They fear the sunless lands. But they enter your realm each night without fear.
Dream: And I am far more terrible than you, my sister.

Phantom6:
"With all due respect, I don't think you have the balls for this job." "Yes, well, the advantage is I don't have to think with them half the time."
- Some movie I saw ages ago, I only remember being forced to watch it, but that line was just pure comic gold.

I think this is from Tomorrow Never Dies 007 moive.

Apone:

Phantom6:
"With all due respect, I don't think you have the balls for this job." "Yes, well, the advantage is I don't have to think with them half the time."
- Some movie I saw ages ago, I only remember being forced to watch it, but that line was just pure comic gold.

I think this is from Tomorrow Never Dies 007 moive.

It is.

"If you are flammable and you have two legs, you are never blocking a fire exit!"

Mitch Hedberg was, quite possible, the finest comedian of the 90's.

free your mind and your ass will follow - george clinton

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."

"Everything I am saying is a lie."
-Internet memes and somewhat clever people everywhere.

Vergere had some good similar lines in Star Wars: New Jedi Order: Traitor

She told Jacen, I always lie. Then she told Nom Anor, I always tell the truth. And she told them both the exact same thing, and to Jacen, she lied, and Nom Anor, she told the truth...

When I get back to that book, I will quote it more accurately...

"Rules is rules - And if we didn't have rules, where would we be? That's right, France! And if we had too many rules where would we be? Germany!"
- Al Murray

"'Mother' is the name for God on the hearts and lips of all children" - The Crow

"it's not how big your fwooom is it's how you use it"

richard from looking for group

"you all saw it that orphanage attacked me"

richard from looking for group

and anything else richard says.

(from 8 bit theater)

Black Mage: *sees Thief arrive with a sack full of items* Didn't the pirates take everything already?

Thief: They left everything that was nailed down. I did not.

richard from looking for group

anything richard does is golden.

Best quote from a game though...

From Age of Wonders 2
Nekros speaking to merlin:
"My dear, Merlin, the cycle of life is a funnel, it leads everything to the realm of the dead. Allow me to hasten your trip"

I paraphrased that slightly.

edited for bad spelling, probably missed some.

"Courage is my blade."
-Me hopefully

"Are these them?" (24)
"Are these they." (21, corrects previous statement)
"Who talks like that?" (24)

-Venture Bros.

"Granted that would be pretty sweet." (24)

-Venture Bros.

"Hot dolphin!" (Amazon Guide)

-Venture Bros.

and pretty much a bunch of other lines from the same show.

shadowyoasis:

richard from looking for group

anything richard does is golden.

"Say Hello to my little friend. *Bunny* Now say hello to my larger, angrier friend.

I just remembered it. The best quote ever.

If you give a man a fish he will eat for a day.
If you teach a man to fish he will buy an ugly hat.
And if you talk about fish to a starving man, you are a Consultant.

-Dogbert

He has the best quotes.

"This is SPARTA!" - self explanatory.

sirchugsalot:
"This is SPARTA!" - self explanatory.

This quote will outlast humanity itself.

Nobby: I know you like to point the finger of scoff, Fred, but their's lots that go's on that we don't know about.
Fred: Oh yeah? Tell me one thing going on that you don't know about. There. You can't, can you.

Jawless:
You may feel a bit of ringing in your ears, but fortunately you'll be nowhere near them. ~ Unknown

'Here I lie, be glad of my fall, for if I had lived, I would of buried you all'
'Here I lie, missed by none, mourned by less, you're glad I'm gone'
'Here lies Pete, he loved his meat, a feast for worms, his flesh they eat'
'Those who look down on me, will someday join me'
'Study in decomposition'
'You're standing on my head'
'Here lies Beth, loved to death, slept with nymphs, they stole her breath'

Now, I'm not sure if they can be classed as quotes, but these are all found on gravestones which are dotted around the game called Fable. If they don't count as quotes I do apologize.

The first one about the ears was spoken by Cecil in that episode of The Simpsons. It's the one where Sideshow Bob's brother tries to blow up the dam and Bob finally realises that he doesn't want to try and murder Bart anymore.

The past is the most crucial time of all: It means we understand more about the present, and avoid mistakes of the future.
- Me, roughly 30 seconds ago

What is real? How do you define real?
- Morpheus, from the Matrix

Sorry for double posting

Almightyjoe:
"birthdays are beneficial to your health, the more you have the longer you live"
-don't know, could be an original by my friend

"I love religious door-knockers!, both company and an excuse not to wear pants!"
- me

Have I ever told you that I love you.

HDRob Inglis:
"Are these them?" (24)
"Are these they." (21, corrects previous statement)
"Who talks like that?" (24)

-Venture Bros.

Ah yes. I love that gangsta henchman in it; Number 1. I need quotes from him, stat!

Anyways, one from Jarrasic Park:

"God makes dinosaur,
God kills dinosaur,
God makes man,
Man kills God,
Man makes dinosaurs."

Almightyjoe:
"salad's for pussies, real men eat trees"
-me, when a friend recommended a salad bar

killrage:

"If you aren't sure...mix random chemicals"
-friend in science class-

Lol... good ones

"They got more ********************************************** than they got the likes of me"
-the Demoman, TF2

"I got a hammer!.. I can build things, I can destroy things. It's wonderful to be a male"
-Calvin, Calvin and Hobbs

"Remember, in Garrysmod, welds are not welds and the speed of light is 111mph"
-Someone, don't recall who.

"When in doubt, use more explosives"
-Jamie Hyneman, Mythbusters

"Spy as me!"
-Me playing TF2

"Spyro!"
-Same as above

Someone (spy):"There's just NO WAY you could have seen me!"
Me (sniper):"I didn't, I tried to kill the scout behind you"
-TF2

"[insert snappy comeback here]"
-A guys name in TF2

Cortana:"This thing is falling apart!"
Mastercheif:"It'll hold!"
Cortana:"We're not gonna make it!"
Mastercheif:"We'll make it!"
Cortana:"Pull up! Pull Up!
*Crash*
-Halo

"The Free man honours us by his precence"
-Vortigaunt, HL2

"We may need you to play twing-twang"
-Nariko to her adopted, mentally ill sister Kai, Heavenly Sword

Edit:
And now a couple for the Dune books:
"I did not even draw my blade today, nut it will be said that i kille twenty sadukars by my self" -Paul Muad'Dib

The emperror:"You used nuclear Weapons against our forces!"
Paul Muad'Dib:"I used nuclear weapons against a mountain formatin that was in my way"

"We sent their messengers back without their water..."

"Mood? Mood is good enough for love and music, but when you need to fight, you fight!"

Ever noticed how the test of insanity changes from year to year? How whats right and whats wrong is irrelevant to the action, but to what the people in charge have to say about it? Well fuck you! Fuck all of you! I started this thing cause it had to be done, and I don't give a crap whether you bastards consider me good or evil, you, who have never seen what I've seen, who have never done the things have done.

- Charles Manson (well, o.k., he didn't say it, but it sounds like the sort of thing he would say)

Richard/Black Mage/Yahtzee/Kris Wilson/Dogbert.

Bow before the gods of comedic lines.

Wow, epic fail for all of you. Please move right along until you find the wonder that is Ash Williams from the Evil Dead series.

"Ok you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?"
-Ash Williams, Evil Dead: Army of Darkness

"Good, bad, I'm the Ash with the chainsaw."
-Ash Williams, Evil Dead: Hail to the King

Sam: "Hey, who left the stove on? Know what this furnace reminds me of?"
Ash: "I have no idea."
Sam: "Johnny Sticks. Him and me, we used to be connected."
Ash: "Connected to what? The union of verbally challenged half deadites?"
Sam: "You know, "connected"! Me and Sticks, the guy was thin as a toothpick, we were top earners."
Ash: "I thought you were an ice cream driver."
Sam: "I was a lot of things, you know for cover. Me and Sticks used to pose as chimney sweeps, sneaking out of furnace vents with the loot. Sticks must have put on a couple of pounds cause he got himself stuck. Furnace comes on and *boom*! Then, err..."
Ash: "And then you played "pick up sticks" right?"
Sam: "I don't deserve sarcasm."
-Ash and Sam, Evil Dead: Regeneration

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Mustache powers, activate! -Greystache.

"Grenade!"
-Tk-421

"My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
-Indigo Montoya

Leonhardt93:
"When i give food to the poor, they call me a saint.
When i ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist"

Don't remember who.

A friend of mine also has this as a favourite quote, it was Archbishop Dom Hélder Pessoa Câmara, apparently.

Tanith Ghost:
"Humanities unfailing capacity to believe what they prefers to be true rather than what the evidence shows to be likely and possible has always astounded me. We long for a caring Universe which will save us from our childish mistakes, and in the face of mountains of evidence to the contrary we will pin all our hopes on the slimmest of doubts. God has not been proven not to exist, therefore he must exist"-Academician Prokhor Zakharov, Alpha Centauri

When I first heard that I was like wow, so true o.O especially the last part about God

How splendid that someone else would use an Alpha Centauri quote, my favourite however was:

Li Po:
We sit together,
the mountain and I,
until only the mountain remains

From the Yang Collection

A silly lot of pretentious twaddle, to be sure, but rather amusing none the less.