I'm 47, male, and live about 25 miles from where I was raised in SE Tennessee, with no plans to ever move farther away. I love my country but fear my government. Porn bores me unless it's S&M or strapon or something else unusual. I was raised in (well, reasonably near) a small town without any open homosexuals, but have had one close male gay friend (who moved to the big city, came out, had a lot of anonymous sex, caught AIDS, and died) and two close lesbian friends, as well as two lesbian lovers. I am extremely conservative in a libertarian way, i.e. I don't care what you do as long as it doesn't affect me and I don't have to pay for it. I don't suffer fools gladly unless they are entertaining. I am the guy who fixes screwed up projects (I'm an engineer), the guy who gets assigned to sooth angry clients, and oddly enough sometimes the guy who gets called to be a total A-hole to some richly deserving tool. I think I can out-think most of my competition and out-work all of them, which is actually funny since I'm sitting here typing into a forum for no good reason.

I believe in G-d - He actually spoke to me once, when I was making the mistake of feeling sorry for myself and coveting, of all things, a friend's new bass boat, and it felt like being electrocuted (sometimes I worry about what that says about my soul) - but don't go to church, even though I think church-going people are on average nicer than the rest of us.

I was raised in a house with honey bees living in one wall who would occassionally chew through the wall and attempt to colonize our house. We didn't get indoor plumbing until I was three, and not an indoor bathroom until I was five or six. I was about eight or nine when I saw my first color television, and twelve when we first owned one. I didn't see a video game (Pong) until I was twelve or thirteen, but actually owned one of the first models, a big yellow console that played pong, tennis, and hockey. My first computer had 4 KB of RAM; my first PC I built in '85 had 640 KB, and the one I'm building now has 4 GB. (Gotta play Crysis!) I once blithly said "Now for the smoke test" and burned up a $1,500 video card. (ALL the magic smoke came out!)

I am happily married (the "married" is the important part in the sentence.) I enjoy hunting, especially bowhunting, but seldom kill anything. I love stalking and eating deer but they are so sad (and heavy) when they are dead. I love fishing in any form, especially fly fishing and ultralight spinning, and I love to collect native fish, including some very colorful darters, minnows, sunfish, and topminnows that I've kept in aquaria. My wife has collected darters with me in a mountain stream in December and January, with ice around the water's edges and snow drifts on land - now that's love! (Note to AnGel. SLayer - some darters and sunfish in the USA are as colorful as tropical reef fish. Check out nanfa.org and nfc.org.) I love to read and to write, but don't have the patience to finish anything.

I never studied any kind of martial arts. I developed a completely undeserved reputation as a tough fighter in high school in spite of the fact that everyone I knew had seen me get my ass kicked numerous times - the stereotypical small kid with a big mouth - and the fact that I'd usually try anything short of running to avoid actually fighting. I was the smallest kid ever on the team when I played football in 7th grade, so small that the smallest helmet would spin completely around on my head with a good hit. (Now THAT will get some parents off the benches...) I love motorcycles in spite of the fact that I've garnered a crushed foot, broken collarbone, and broken off rotator ball on my shoulder blade. I once hit a tree head-on and broke my cheap helmet into two pieces, and I once actually jumped at the wrong angle on a trail and wedged my motorcycle into the fork of a tree several feet off the ground. I had to wait for my buddies to miss me and come back, and it took all three of us to get it out.

I'm a survivor of thyroid cancer and it wasn't a big deal, but now my internal clock is really screwed. Friday I didn't get up until 2:00PM, then I didn't go to bed again until 2:00AM Sunday morning.

It sucks when your friends die. It REALLY sucks when your friends start dying of natural causes.

Hmm - that about enough sharing?

Yep, this thread is now officially awkward. (No offence intended, Werepossum. Nice sharing and gutsy but there's only so much I feel comfortable knowing about near total strangers. I'm a bit stiff that way.)

I find your life interesting, werepossum.

Yup, tough act to follow werepossum, especially for a newcomer, so I'll keep it brief.

Born and raised a Niner fan, I was AT one of the most famous sporting moments of the 20th century-- "The Catch." (For you young 'uns, that was the NFC Championship SF vs Dallas in January of '82)

I've been in a few movies and a few television shows (as background), and also built sets for several Super Bowl commercials before getting hurt on the job. (F'd my back up.) Now I'm passing the time (while lawyers and doctors fight a legal/medical battle on my behalf) making puzzles based upon movie quotes.

http://www.sizzlequiz.com/SelectFreeGame.aspx?c=Movies

BTW- Congrats on beating "The Big C," werepossum! (My dad just had cancer removed last week.)

*salutes werepossum*

That's one hell of a life, man. Some people just get shit done, and if it weren't for them, I think the world would fall apart in about 30 minutes. You, sir, are one of those people, and good online company to boot.

I'm 15, born and raised in Pennsylvania, and I'll be living here for another couple of years before I move off to college. I manage to keep my GPA above a 3.8, my two strongest classes being Biology and History, followed by English and Geometry.

I plan to get a career in medicine, although until a year ago this was a plan B to attempting to enroll in Annapolis and then join the Marine Corps.

I have assumed my reason for wanting to join the Marines was from the fact that my grandfather served back in WW2, and I wanted to be more like him. Or maybe it was from watching too many war movies...no, on second thought it was definitely the first one.

Anyway, my hobbies include playing video games, hanging out with my friends, and above all: skiing.

Necrohydra:
What, say something about yourself on the internet? But that ruins the anonymity! (is that a word?)

Well, I'm entirely too self-conscious and shy for that. Doesn't matter if you're complete strangers several miles away speaking through the faceless screen of the internet, I still think of the opinions I may get from people.

Probably why my post count doesn't really reflect how much I've read on here.

That pretty much describes me too. I was ghosting for about 2 months before joining up, yet still don't post as much as I would if I didn't any form of backlash.

I'm Keith. 17 year old Australian guy. I'm kinda short, but I'm one of the strongest year 12 kids at my school due to my exercise (I like having a good body). I enjoy heavy metal, Warhammer, video games and spending time with my girlfriend (By far the best). I go to a public school and mingle (Between exchanging punches with) the local smoker-kids, who are all pretentious halfwits. I have alot of odd quirks, like singing the "Happy Happy Joy Joy" song or the Captain Planet theme song at random. I'm that 'weird' kid around here to be honest, and people avoid me for my reputation as the neighbourhood psychopath (Which is NOT, I repeat, NOT fun.) I do alot of writing these days, my girl says I'm good at it but I don't see it. I'm working on a book, so if anyone wants to read some and give me feedback, I'll be happy to share some =)

That's enough from me, peace out everyone =D

My right arm is longer than my left arm

I have a blog (http://thejadedprime.blogspot.com/)

In my spare time, I enjoy candlelit dinners, moonlit strolls along the beach and shameless self-promotion

My eye colour can not be defined because they are two colours (blue/gray) for the majority, but around the pupil it turns brown.

I wear size 13 shoes

I once received an A on an essay that was supposed to be about Aboriginals, but instead I ended up writing about Africans.

I am 21

Oh yes ladies, I'm single

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

I am not a crook

I am male.
When translated my name means "immortal"
I don't like dogs.
I do like cats.
I think World of Warcraft is the worst thing to happen to gaming, ever.
I have many of the qualities traditionally associated with gay men, however I am not gay.
I am of the option that 1337 speak or any other heavily bastardized English should be punishable by law.
I have inhumanly nice hair.
And, finally, I have a tendency to be a bit of an arrogant prat sometimes.

This one time at band camp I...
Well..Uh...

I live in Australia and i am appalled at the fact we have to pay almost double for videogames when compared to other countries. I also am annoyed at the fact we are two months behind everything videogames wise, WE ARE NOT ANY FUCKING DIFFERENT FROM AMERICA! In fact, our prime minister kisses your presidents arse so much that when you're knee deep in the shit with oil, house pricing and economic downfall so are we, STOP FUCKING US OVER PLEASE!
That aside, i enjoy long walks on the beach, and when i say long, i mean long, i mean pack a fucking tent.

Meh.

Another xkcd fan then?

Voodoo Child:
Another xkcd fan then?

haha, Yeah :D

It's pretty good eh?

I love Xkcd!

Let's see now....
I once went to Marine World in Toronto and had an oppurtinity to ride the longest roller coaster in Canada.

And chickened out.

I'm 19, male, don't have a driver's license, had my girlfriend break up with me because I'm a gamer (my fault), and am in college, studying to go into forensics.

I've been doing various combat/tactics training for 8 years, I"m a professional paintballer in canada, I do martial arts, sword fighting, marksmanship, and freerunning.
I was kicked out of high school for being too social. no joke.

Palahniuk doesnt write horror. Invisible mosters, Choke, fight club none of these were horrors and none of his other are either. Have you even read one of his books?

I know it´s been a while, anyway, there should have been an "and" / "or" in that sentence. I know P. doesnt write horror. For the Record, i read Fight Club, Lullaby, Survivor, Haunted and Invisible Monsters.

I am 19
I find Shakespeare's works irrelevant and uninteresting
I genuinely enjoy Unreal Tournament
I have a disorder that causes me to be resistant to caffeine and sugar
I am waaay too cynical

My father once told me that if you want to be funny then you have to live a miserable life first. I guss that's why so many people think I'm a hoot.

I was born on Halloween of '88. I was born nearly a month overdue and with an aversion to light; the doctors initialy thought I was dying. It's gotten better, though, as I only have to wear sunglasses outside now.

A recent revalation has revealed that I suffer from aspergers syndrome. This, I think is preferable to having a pice of paper that says that you hear voices coming out of walls and switch moods every ten seconds.

My father has an IQ of 232. When I was in second grade, they did mine twice. The first time it was 149, the second time it was 84. The way I figure, everyone at the school had a "Let's shit on Ron's life" (yes, my name's Ron, only girls are allowed to call me Ronnie) session and decided it would behoove them more for me to be a retard then to be a genius.

I remember in sixth grade they were trying to teach us how to medetate. They told us to think of a happy memory. I told them I didn't have any, and they told me I was full of crap. So I made one up and everyone belived me. No child left behind my right ass cheek.

When I was in seventh grade a teacher remarked (not to me, but to my mother) that she'd never seen anyone learn so fast.

When I was in eighth grade a gym teacher slapped around because I wouldn't stop crying over a broken finger. My father went in and took care of it. Two weeks later I was thrown out of school.

I was home schooled by my father for a while; eventually the state told him he couldn't do that and I went to a school that didn't teach higher than a fourth grade level. So I stopped trying.

They let me back into school when a guianance counsler at the school told them she would make sure the state knew about it if I didn't. It was hell.

They kicked me out again the first chance they got.

It should come as no surprise to anyone that I don't trust people unless they give me a reason to.

There are five people I call Friend; a redneck who was disenfranchised because the school thought he was a redneck, two brothers with whom I share a strong belif in God, a young man who is afraid to take any sort of action becasue of any consequences, and a 6'4 screw up who has given me more reason to trust him than ninety percent of the people I've met in my life.

I live my a certain code; for example if I say something is wrong and someone should do something about it, then I do something about it myself. I also refuse to lie to people unless it's a matter of life and death; I just don't like to lie.

I am able to analyze things in such a way that with very little information I am able to come to conclusions that it would take most people years to come to.

I can be a person you want to be your friend, a person you want to be your leader, or the werdest f***bag you've ever seen.

I pride myself in being a person you will never meet anyone like again in your life.

I stand at 5'7, weigh 200 lbs, have brown hair and hazel eyes.

I have never had a girlfriend.

I belive that people want to do the right thing, but are too easilly swayed to do the opposite. While I don't trust people, I do belive in them.

Quite a few people hate me.

Qutie a few more think I'm the coolest thing since curly fries.

I have ideas concerning how things need to change, and I will tell you these ideas at the slightest prompting.

My name...

I think I'll omit that for the time being.

Oh, and I like cheeseburgers. I really like cheeseburgers.

I'm bigger. Not massive, but bigger, by a good bit, than average. And it's good. Especially when you live in China.

Also I haven't considered myself a gamer since I cut my WoW umbilical cord but I'm a pretty hard core player.

I don't need porn. I -make- porn.

*end quote*
man, anyone who would write that must be an a**hole

Hrm, I've realized that I'm quite the stereotypical redneck.

Sweet.

Lesse, I am 21,5'11", 220 pounds.I smoke, drink, eat meat and regularly pick fights for the hell of it. The last vehicle I owned was a 3/4 ton pickup two years ago, I laugh at people who complain about paying forty dollars to fill up their car when it cost me 75 back then.

I'm listening to slayers disciple and laughing at it.

I blew out my knee two years ago, got fucked over by my company, and have yet to get reconstructive surgery.

I am a high school drop out with a GED(scored in the highest percentile in the state though, was even offered a scholarship for all of 500 dollars! Woo, go Maryland), and I am saddened by the fact that I can regularly make college students look like morons.

I am ridiculously resistant to sickness, medication, booze, I don't get addicted to things and currently pop about 2000mg of painkillers to dull the pain of my knee.

Games are a secondary hobby to cars.

That's it for now I guess.

I don't suffer from any diagnosed disease or syndrome, I have a fetish which implies that I feel the urge to wear something on my head (usually a baseball cap). My father died in 2000 and since then I've been really anti-social and started fights with anyone who dared mention my dad. I get angry really easily and spend most of time time playing games, even if I suck at them. I had my first pc when I was 13, and couldn't do almost anything with it. I'm the 'teachers pet' and learn fast. I once won first place at a writing competition.

I know almost every diagnoses Dr. Gregory House has ever made.

I watch House almost non-stop. It's MY anti-drug.

I'm 17. Never drank, never smoked. Probably never will.

I'm more cynical and misanthropic then anyone my age should be. (But I <3 you all!)

I once made a plan to conquer the world with my best friend. It involved Halo.

I spent over an hour learning to dodge roll like Leon in RE4. And I forget how now.

I can pick locks. I know how to snap a neck.

Let's see....oh yeah!

And to destroy any remainder of "cool" I may have had before this next statement:

I like dragons!

That's it for now I suppose.

I enjoy falling in most contexts you can use that verb.

The_Logician19:
My father has an IQ of 232. When I was in second grade, they did mine twice. The first time it was 149, the second time it was 84. The way I figure, everyone at the school had a "Let's shit on Ron's life" (yes, my name's Ron, only girls are allowed to call me Ronnie) session and decided it would behoove them more for me to be a retard then to be a genius.

232 is incredible, as is 149 in second grade! I was tested in eighth grade, they took me out of class and said "We want to test you. We believe you may be gifted. Or retarded. We won't know until we do the tests."

And yet somehow they actually feel qualified to DO the tests and then put you in a box based on the results. Nice. Real nice.

Lots of very interesting information from everyone here. I too am surprised at the low average age given the level of discourse and the intelligence shown on these boards.

I'll be 28 in June, I have cerebral palsy (very mild) due to being two months late. I was in my high schools special ed class but did so well they pulled me out then, I got so stressed out from the large classes I became sick for months at a time until the principal told me not to bother coming back. And as an added kick in the ass, my back was severely strained in grade 9. (Don't wear a backpack while boarding a bus unless you are last in line) Thanks to that injury I can't work. I love all types of animals especially reptiles, rodents and bats. I collect dragons, I like to draw,(mostly dragons),sculpting cute creatures out of baking clay and I like playing video games.

Werepossum and TheLogician have inspired me to take this a bit more seriously, so here's mine.

I act on principle, even when it makes things really bad for me, and I've been known to be a rebel without a cause. I don't seem to mind violence as much as most people, and used to get into fights quite often, but my nose bleeds pretty much at a poke. Even if I won, the other guy got first blood, so I lost in public opinion. This was annoying, and I soon gave it up.

I was born in Iqaluit, Nunavut, although it was the NWT back then I suppose. I moved to Yellow knife when I was 3, then down to Regina when I was 10. Two years later we left that horrid place for Saint John, New Brunswick. For anyone who's not Canadian, I was born and raised in the north of Canada, moved to the prairie, then to the coast. I live there now, but have always felt more at home in the west. When I get a chance I'm probably going to move to the hillier part of Alberta, which reminds me of Yellowknife, but is closer to... Well, everything.

My intelligence is often overestimated, because I read a lot, thus knowing vocabulary, and value thinking, but I'm not really that smart. I did some online test the other day that said I was smarter than 65% of people who took the test, but there were no math questions. I suck at math.

Actually, when I was younger I was singled out for special needs and given all kind of special help and stuff, this was not a mistake. I was really stupid back then, it took me ages to understand even the simplest of concepts. I've actually considered the possibility that I had implanted memories at one point, my personality and attributes were very different than the last ten or so years. Yeah, I was really willing to consider anything to separate myself from that selfish, stupid little Asshole I used to be.

I wear a hearing aid at 16, but I don't wear it most of the time. I'd rather just have to say what every now and then, the feedback is annoying. I also wear glasses, and they tend to break at a high rate due to my brother and I fighting. When I get a new pair after being without them for a while is the best feeling ever. I'm not super-blind but I like to see.

I only really got into videogames last gen, with the xbox. My Friends were amazed when I said the other day that I have yet to play a computer FPS, usually using my PC for strategy and rpgs. Mostly strategy. I do plan on getting left 4 dead on the PC, but I refuse to play you guys till I get the hang of it.

I got my halfway report card today, and got a 37% in chemistry. Probably something to do with how much I hate it, and that I never passed any labs or homework in for it till yesterday. I don't really care about marks, although I usually do try to pass. My parents don't understand my lack of ambition, I don't need to have a really high paying job to be happy, I just need a roof over my head. It would be nice to be rich, but my hobbies aren't that expensive and it's not worth the effort.

I have 7 people that I would call a Friend, and many friendly acquaintances, but have never had a girlfriend. I'm willing to put most of the blame on having never actually asked a girl out, being cowardly in that regard, but it's also the price of being weird. I have had 2 girls, neither of them ugly, ask me out in my life, but in one case I was still the annoying asshole mentioned above, and the other was a girl I had never noted the existence of before she asked me out, and it didn't feel right.

Ok, I can't think of anything else right now. That's me.

i live in a village with a name that has had so many gay jokes cracked about it it isnt even funny any more (its called benderloch or translated from gailec hill of two lochs) and i am currently spending most of my time waiting for things, like my beard to grow and for my chance to finally get my hands on a real motobike i am currently 15 although my birthday is 11 days away (if the date is the 11 of april) and i have had nothing but bad experinces so far with woman (although am holding out hope for a while yet) since every one is being open about there sex life and that i have had 5 gay incounters all with one person who is still a close friend since we both agreed that the last time was the last time (although i get the feeling it wont) and i also think i am really going to regerte writting this stuff.
i have in my life so far moved between three houses with a combined distance overall of 3 miles at a push.

i some times write reviews on my blog sharing my views on games with who ever will listen.

i will now get all the depressing stuff out the way i have no girlfriend and i have a voice that unless you are really determind stops most people in there tracks (just play me on live and you will see what i mean) and i am realising that most of my freinds (although one in perticuler) have lives far more intresting than me and as my last depressing peice of info i will get to spend winter in a fecking caravan (for those of you who have never spent winter in scotland it is fucking cold wet and oh so very windy).

ok depressing stuff out of the way here is the good stuff, i have two littel sisters that although can be pains in the arse i wouldent trade for the world, i have a group of freinds with whom i have a great laugh with on and of live and i am doing well in all the things i like in school (standered grade exams in two weeks) and i am blessed with a voice, frame and general look that means i can avoide most fights with a well placed threath and standing to my full hight.

note:about the bit about my voice, if you want to hear it in all its glory send me an freinds invite and i will be sure to play a game with you just put on the invite the message "the escapist sent me" so i know why you sent me an freinds invite.

p.s. i am not gay i was just going through my experimental stage but i am now back on the straight and narrow so to speak.

Easykill:
but have never had a girlfriend. I'm willing to put most of the blame on having never actually asked a girl out, being cowardly in that regard, but it's also the price of being weird.

Same here. I'm too coward to ask girls out. I'm in an alternative school, which is often confused or considerd a school for special children (waldorf alternative for those of you who know about it). I spend all my time in the house, as I can't mingle with the rest. When I'm excited I start talking like it's the end of the world (like in this thread). I've been bullied by kids 5 years younger than me, but when someone older picks on me, I usually confront him, even if I get beaten. I hate people who use '1337' speak in public, and those who write in that form, but sometimes write that way to make fun of someone, even if i'm the only one that gets the joke. I also find this thread to be pretty relaxing, as I'm free to say things about myself and I'm not forced to as shrinks make you do. I have an irational hate on most shrinks as I had a literature teacher that analyzed us each and every class (and since litrature is the basic subject of the school, I had lots of classes with said teacher). I'm easily distracted and easily amused.