"I can see up your skirt!"

"Its only a flesh wound."
"Always look on the bright side of life."
"Just remember that the last joke is on you."

"morality is relative and i guess you was relatively less moral."

"Can I re-roll my saving throw?"

"Ok, seriously, how much damage?"

Here lies your moderator,
The trolls he banned,
got him sooner than later.

He lived how he died. A roiling fireball scattering wreckage over a 3 mile stretch of freeway.

Yeah, I want to die in a car accident at about 180 Miles per hour...

"Here he lies, gone and dead, so pay respects, get off his head"

"For the love of god, i'm not dead, i had enough power in my phone left to order this headstone, sweet jesus do something"

"Argued with atheists, now gloating... or oblivious"

Based off a joke Anarchemitis and I had on a different thread:

Here lies The first man to cross the speed of light. Too bad we can't see his remains...

"All of those Chuck Norris jokes? Totally true..."

"OHMYGODI'MONFIRE!*"
"All 72 virgins are men!!!!"
"Take a look in your new home."
"Don't worry, I'll be back in the next round."
"Don't Smash, or I will Detonate!"
"Hey, don't teabag me!"
"I realized why the game was called chicken."
"Free Space,Enquire within."
"They always said be yourself on a date,and now look where I am."
"SAVING ROLL ALWAYS HAS +20 FOR NECROMANCERS TURNING TO LICHES!"
"WHY DID YOUR BOWLING BALL HIT ME,ST.PETER?"
"Phoenix Down,Now!"
"I thought the Force Barrier ability protected against bullets."
"Statement:Oh why, why did I not have a Blaster, damn my protocols!"
My respect if you get the last two.
*Decline reference.

System Error...

(The Blue Screen of death on a tomb stone... That would be great...)

i'm going to go with lt. dangle on this one
"He loved it."

"Rigourmortis is making me harder than Chinese Algebra, ladies."

What?

"Dead or alive you're coming with me"
"Tried to grease lightning. Hated John Travolta in death"
"Couldn't get out of the bunny suit"

i'd love to have the monolith from 2001 as my gravestone

"Apparently I can't jump as far as the Master Chief after all"
"And to think I was only one coin away from an extra life..."
"I can see Jesus... and my God does he look pissed..."

"If you're reading this, you should really go do something fun with your life before you end up like me.

No really, stop reading this and do something exciting."

"Died in a Blogging accident."

XKCD ;)

"Never been the same, after being ganked"

"NERDS FTW!!!11!1!!1"

or

"LOL"

something simple :P

from oblivion printed on my headstone
"I died, they ate me... and buried my bones here"

"FATALITY"

"Call Me Trimtab"

or

"Unquote"

"How was I supposed to know the grenade only had a three-second fuse?"
"I told you not to touch it!"
"Penguins are viscious"
"Freakin' snipers"
"Still selling Runescape account"
"I can has cheeseburger?"
"If you think this is bad, wait til you see what I did to him"
"lv.1 corpse LFP!"
"The cake is a lie"

"I'm Not Dead Look Behind You."

"this was all your fault"
"finally"
"don't you have anything ebtter to do?"
"bother this nonsense"
"the voices, they're gone"
have a speaker in the headstone playing "still alive"
or just the 3 red rings of death
"bears are fun...up to a point"
"its just a scrath"
"they told me to wait 20 minutes after eating"
"I've been worse"
"yes I would jump off a bridge if all my friends did it too"
"don't say the lords name in vein"
"ben stiller isn't funny"
"what the hell just happened"
"epitaph"

I shall return, and this time I'm gonna take the BLUE PILL!

'Good at planning to do things, but never carrying them out'

'Ouch'

'I'll see you in Hell'

'Well, thats the last time I ever visit Capetown...'

'Oh, Bugger'

'Bugger this for a game of soldiers'

'Help wanted. Apply within'

'Whoever said monkeys were harmless, take a look inside'

'I may be dead sir, but you are useless. The christians promise me I will come back, you will not be so lucky'

'I'll be seing you shortly'

'I miss my teddy bear'

'Are you dancing up there?!'

'Don't make me come up there.'

"it turned out it was an offer he could refuse"

"The blades got me"

"Damn. I was only two days from retirement"

You could go with some good old python ones

"Always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath"

"Life's a piece of shit
When you look it at"

"Just remember that the last laugh is on you."

"you lucky bugger!"

"Anyone got a map? I can't seem to find Heaven or Hell anywhere."

Last Words: "It's just a rabbit."

That'll be a good laugh.

Only problem is I'll be dead and rotting in the ground, unable to enjoy it.

"wiper of other peoples bottoms"
"ni!"
"what is the air speed ratio of an unladen swallow
african or european swallow?
I didn't know that"
gahars what would be awsome
"I counted to 5" that would be good to if people got that