If a girl says she likes you, run with it as far and as fast as you want.

One of these days someone's going to do "How to: Listen to a Girl" and someone will actually learn something productive.

... What? It could happen!

I was in a bit of a bad mood... Don't mind me...

Listen. That's my big advice. No, really. And I don't mean listen in the same way that you listen to a teacher, ut more in the same way you'd listen to a friend.

Also, compliment/be nice, but don't overdo it. Many's the time I've heard girls say that the guy they were just talking to sounded fake.

Remember, they're not you, so they don't always follow your train of thought, but they're not thick. Treat them as you would treat your best mate, but also how you would treat your mother (or sister even, provided you are on good terms).

And, if they like you like you like them, then they're normally just as awkward or embarressed.

(Poster is gay)

Darth Mobius:
I don't think so... That would require them to think, and a woman to actually say something besides:
"Do these pants make my ass look fat?"

You and Jallil and a select few others are obviously different, but seriously, it happens way too often...

I had this really clever retort and then I got head-esplodey and lost it all. Suffice it to say that, if a guy isn't listening properly he will never know when a woman is in fact saying something.

If I don't think a person is listening, why would I bother to say anything to them beyond obligatory small talk? The only reason I am talking to you now is that the first time I talked to you, you listened. You passed the test, and now I talk to you quite a bit.

Also, just because a woman is talking about something you aren't interested in, that doesn't mean she's not saying anything. And you may say that too many women are all, "Does this make my butt look fat?" but if you paid more attention to what men say, you'd find alot of them have entire conversations that pretty much boil down to, "Did you see that? Yeah, I saw that! Fuckin'-A!"

I've met girls whose heads are better measured in PSI than IQ, and I've met guys who are just so inarticulate as to be damn near mute.

Say you talk woman at a bus stop. The woman doesn't say a single thing worth listening to. On your way back, you talk to a guy at a bus stop. The guy doesn't say a single thing worth listening to.

Later, you tell someone about your day.

"God, that guy was a freakin' moron." "Jesus, women are dumb." Do you see the difference here?

Finally, if women have nothing interesting to say, as so many of the guys on this board say over and over, then why are you trying to figure out how to talk to them? If they don't say anything worth listening to, why do you want to talk to them? Be honest with yourselves for a second. If you don't want to actually talk to girls, then quit asking how to talk to girls. Ask what you really want to know: "How do I get into a girl's pants?"

mshcherbatskaya:
One of these days someone's going to do "How to: Listen to a Girl" and someone will actually learn something productive.

... What? It could happen!

The problem is Msch, that all the 'nice' guys listen; and then they get treated as "just friends" whilst the women date the "They're not really all that bad" guy/girl.

Men learn early on that the way around a girl is to tell them what they want, and it's not until they become a woman that they know what they want. And at that point, a lot of them will use the same sort of manipulation to get their man.
(Men don't tend to ever know WHAT they want, they just want.)

It also works on the same sex dating scheme; someone who can tell you what you want is a lot more attractive than someone who wants to know about you, until that critical level of maturity is reached.

Emotional manipulation is sadly a lot easier than actual romance, because with the former you WILL get somewhere.

Msch.:
Are you seeing the difference? Also, if women have nothing interesting to say, as so many of the guys on this board say over and over, then why are you trying to figure out how to talk to them?

The difference is that men treat EVERYONE as dumb. See X-BOX Live for proof. Basic insulting is a term of endearment for us.
If women have nothing interesting to say, they are still pleasing to look act. (And I know that's shallow and crass, but hey, testosterone doesn't have a brain.)

Women have a more complex and larger emotional centre to the brain, (Actually true, Check New Scientist) but basic emotional sense takes time to develop. Men simply cannot comprehend that level of emotional complexity, so they do the next best thing; draw on the experiences of their fellow man.
Men might be wildly exaggerating, but they don't try and trick other men into permanent commitments, which is what an increasing number of women try to do.

I'm a little late to this thread but I'll add my 2 anyhow!

I work as a bouncer, thats a doorman for the yanks,general and I have a lot of dealings with women, both flirting, just chatting and dealing with complaints ect.

This is what I think,

Be yourself, to a point. If your main thing in life is gaming or reading but she is not into it, then dont talk about it! Talk about something she is into, or better yet something your both into.

Take the piss out of yourself. This will in most cases be seen as funny (funny in general is good, if you can make a girl laugh your half way there) Dont go too far with it though, dont seem like a total loser! :) If a mate in your company is taking the piss out of you laugh a long with this also, again dont let it go too far. Poking fun at yourself really works too if your not that good looking, I'm overweight and I'll often bring that up, then its out there in the open and you can move on to better things.

If a girl is not into you move on. Loads of my mates have tried to score the same girl all night when it was clear she is not game. Unless you Brad Pitt, most girls will not be intrested, its all about the numbers lads. She says no, thats cool, move on!

Every once in a while dont be afraid to go straight for thr kill. A year ago I walked up to a girl in a bar and said "F**k me your stunning, give us a kiss!" she laughed and kissed me and now a year later were very much in love. Dont be afraid to take a risk!

Hope that helps! :)

The answer to all lifes little problems!
...

Rohypnol

...

sometimes i find myself in the same situation and your brain is so nervous you can't think straight therefore you say things that your nervous currently half working brain thinks would make you sound cool such as how much you can or think you can lift at the gym which then labels you as a douche bag show off liar in her mind there's a solution though

SOLUTION: text her and get to know her well find out things such as her intrests therefore in public situations you have the ability to start an intresting conversation

WARNING: when you first start hanging out with her you will likely become your friend but you better ask her out before you are placed in the friend zone in which you will have a tough time escaping but also do not ask too soon that will possibly freak her out i cannot tell you the exact time to ask because it really depends on a lot of things but you will probably be able to notice the signs that alert you when it is the right time unless you are socially retarted and when you see these signs do not chicken out on asking her out that is a good way to falling into the pit of shit that is the friend zone

my reply was a reply to this post by indigo dingo:"I'm fine with talking to girls, its just I don't know what to talk about with girls that I'm romantically interested in. There's a difference."

Personally i have never seen the point to a relationship, perhaps its the anti-social cynic inside me, but i've always thought of sex and relationships as completely fruitless endeavors, oh well, just me

if you want to try- be a dick, it wont necessarily get you a girlfriend, but it sure is fun

Now a days sadly I pretty much lost just about any interest in either trying to talk to a girl let alone put in the effort to even think about dating. Now a days I'll be honest, my sci-fi shows would have a much better chance of keeping my attention than any girl could.

Learn to play guitar and form a band. Then you can talk any old shit and still get laid.

mshcherbatskaya:
One of these days someone's going to do "How to: Listen to a Girl" and someone will actually learn something productive.

... What? It could happen!

AHaha! Ahahahaha! AHAHAHAHA!
....
Bwahahaha- yeah that got stale. It's a nice thought and I'd sure as hell read that thread avidly, as my listening skills are bad in general and my irony meter is especially out of whack. This has kicked me in the butt many a time. For example, how do you tell when a hypothetical is not so hypothetical? You might think this is simple but you'd be wrong.
But really, make that thread.

Ultrajoe:

Darth Mobius:
Cheaper in the short run too.... Unless you like the High-Class Executive hookers, then it is only a long term investment. I was married for two and a half years and lost over $7,000. I could have had an Executive for the night for cheaper than my marriage and subsequent divorce... And when you count Child support... My Executive level hooker could have lived with me for a Year before I started losing out in the long run...

and so it is decided; how to talk to girls.

"how much"

the end

Indeed my friend. The top three things I can think of when I see some guy who has a girl around his arm that's way out of his league are either cash, drugs or he's got something on her and is blackmailing the shit out of her.

The whole be yourself thing is a total waste of time. I've always tried to be myself and it always fails everytime because you know there are just so many girls like sci-fi things or gaming or the cthulhu mytho's. It's pretty much made me realize that if I was to be myself, no girl would ever talk to me. but if I lied and made up some persona that a girl did like, then that would be worthless because it's not the real me but the real me is of no interest so I'm screwed either way. I can honestly say that after so much failure that I've become a rather bitter and hateful person when it comes to the whole "romance".

I like the idea that someone said trying to talk to a girl wasn't like a game but I kinda wish it was. Atleast that way I could either return said game and get my fucking money back or just toss the thing into the trash and be done with it.

That being said... *goes back inside his casing*

Love them for who they are not. That sounds stupid but if you love them for the faults as much as their greatness then they will care for you back. NEVER!get drunk in front of them before they no the real you. Complement your arse off and make them feel good. I am not going to try and say I am the best advise giver on this matter but my two last serious girl friends seemed to reacted well to these methods and good luck to whomever reads this.

I know, I know, why am I posting on thread I wish to die, but forgive me.

Are girls with similar interests that hard to find? I think every girl I know digs nerdy guys. It may just be that that's the type of girl I'm attracted to (as a friend, sorry ladies), but it really seems like a dominating trend.

The trick is to treat them like they're human beings and not some bizare space alien you'll never understand. People like to mouth off about how you'll never understand women but that's not a big deal, you'll never 'understand' anyone you meet so just chill out and have fun. You'll be more fun to be around if you're not trying the whole 'how to make friends and influence people' shit all the time.

Getting a good girl is always the problem though. There is nearly always a un even mix between intelligence and beauty.

mshcherbatskaya:

Finally, if women have nothing interesting to say, as so many of the guys on this board say over and over, then why are you trying to figure out how to talk to them? If they don't say anything worth listening to, why do you want to talk to them? Be honest with yourselves for a second. If you don't want to actually talk to girls, then quit asking how to talk to girls. Ask what you really want to know: "How do I get into a girl's pants?"

Are that many people really saying that? I don't really think it is anymore fair to assume that all men just want to get into a girl's pants as it is to assume no woman has anything interesting to say.

I also think the entire concept of this thread fails, as the entire question of how to talk to girls suggests you treat them as something other than normal people. Hell, I get on with females slightly better than males to be honest, simply because females don't spend half the conversation saying "your mum" or trying to assert that they have the biggest cock.

There should be no real secret to talking to girls, just talk to them like you would any other person, except perhaps leave out the fart jokes.

The real question should be "How do I get over my fear of being judged", as the real problem is not talking to another human being who happens to have different parts here and there, it is the fear of embarrassing yourself, or being judged by someone whose opinion you care about that should be the reasonable problem.

Oh, and if you could indulge the noob here - does Probation on this forum mean a temporary ban? What actions can be performed under probation? PMing mods etc?

Larenxis:
I know, I know, why am I posting on thread I wish to die, but forgive me.

Are girls with similar interests that hard to find? I think every girl I know digs nerdy guys. It may just be that that's the type of girl I'm attracted to (as a friend, sorry ladies), but it really seems like a dominating trend.

Maybe it isn't the fact that they're nerds but the fact that they aren't obsessed with cars, porn and getting hammered?

Christ, now I'm stereotyping, this thread should be banished, involving rites of exorcism and purification before being locked in the basement of the Escapist - tis evil I tell you!

Qayin:

Oh, and if you could indulge the noob here - does Probation on this forum mean a temporary ban? What actions can be performed under probation? PMing mods etc?

Probation means you've done something bad but not too bad. You can still write/edit as normal, but there's that Sword of Damocles above you that says "Slip up again and you're toast". :)

What the subtext of the thread is, rather than Msch.'s slightly biased observation of 'How can I get into their pants' (Sorry Msch., we're not all like that) is "How can I approach someone who terrifies me?" and that relevance passes across both gender boundaries.

Romance/Sexuality has so many pitfalls in it these days that both genders are trying to find the "New Rules", because there's so much potential risk in either. I'm sure most of us that have had a relationship have had a REALLY bad one, but also a really nice one that we messed up.

Get out there and give it a try, but be careful.

.....

*Tracking the Beast back to its lair, LewsTherin awaits nightfall to swoop it and cleanse the blight with fire and holy water before finally driving a stake through its heart and taking its head.*

But sadly, the lure of posting is too great......

Its not at all difficult to talk to girls...if you're a shy person, try taking drama classes.

Remember, children: IMPROV SAVES LIVES!

i have a gf. You just....talk... to girls. Not rocket science. Just be kind and who you are.
There are a lot of thick bimbos out there though. I found my girl at the library ironicly lol

Humour saves all. I've been told by quite a few girls that my sense of humour is my best feature.

Qayin:
Maybe it isn't the fact that they're nerds but the fact that they aren't obsessed with cars, porn and getting hammered?

While porn and alcohol were never that big for me, Car was my first word, and to find a girl that was willing to put up with that obsession took me quite a while... And now she is as obsessed as I am.... That is the truth. Treat them like you would a good friend, especially if you don't know them (NO DIRTY JOKES!) and they will open up to you quickly. If you guys don't share that one major obsession (Everyone has one, so don't be surprised be her My Little Pony or Hot Wheels collections, okay?) you CAN still make it work, as long as you two have ENOUGH in common...

(I figured after my little Tirade yesterday, it was time for me to contribute once more in a HELPFUL manner...)

The math on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce is as follows:

After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million. Assuming he got sex every night during their 5 year relationship (which would NOT have happened!) it ended up costing him $26,849 per time. This is Heather.

On the other hand, Elliot Spitzer's call girl, Kristen, an absolute stunner with a body like no other, charges $4,000 an hour. For anything! This is Kristen.

Had Paul McCartney 'employed' Kristen for 5 years, he would've paid $7.3 million for an hour of sex every night for 5 years (a savings of $41.7 million).

Value-added benefits are: a 22 year old hot babe, no begging, no coaxing, never a headache, plays all requests, ability to put BOTH legs around you, no bitching and complaining or 'to do' lists. Best of all, she leaves when you're done, and comes back when you ask her. All at 1/7th the cost, with no legal fees.

Sometimes renting makes far more sense!

Or...

Let Heather Mills be entitled to how much effort she put into Paul's Millions.

Hrmmm...would have been a lot cheaper to hire a hitman. I would have done it for a mil.

Playbahnosh:
I could really write an essay on that very subject, but I refrain from doing so just now. I'm not an expert on the subject, mind you, just an enthusiastic amateur. I had a lot of disappointment with girls in the past, which drove me to study the subject in-depth, for many years now. Keeping an open mind and eye helps a lot more than trying haplessly over and over. Girls are a different species when it comes to dating, and you must learn to handle them like a different species.

What a lot of men THINK is the right thing to do or say to get closer, is almost certainly the exact opposite what you SHOULD do. It's quite perplexing at first, and many people just can't wrap their heads around it. Just a tip: when you think of something to say or do to a girl, do the exact opposite. If you wanna compliment them, tease them or joke them. If you wanna stroke them, pat them on the head or pull their hair, like in grade school :D I know this sounds silly, but don't ask questions, just do it and watch the results. I really can't go into more detail right now, but when I have the time I try to put together some tips of what worked for me so far, some proven stuff.

I think if you tell girls that you've studied them in depth and find them perplexing, like a different species, well hell. They'll be so impressed you won't ever had girl problems again.

I didn't think anyone on the Internet was qualified to give this sort of advice, but apparently, I was wrong.

The_root_of_all_evil:

SNIP
What the subtext of the thread is, rather than Msch.'s slightly biased observation of 'How can I get into their pants' (Sorry Msch., we're not all like that) is "How can I approach someone who terrifies me?" and that relevance passes across both gender boundaries.
SNIP

Rule #1 of Humanity: All men are pigs. Period. It's hard-coded into our nature. We can overcome it through good upbringing or religion or because we're also nice guys (and our piggy side always wants us to do bad things) or for love of a particular woman, but "pig" is our deepest nature. You don't find lesbians screwing in public restrooms; you often find gays screwing in public restrooms. (You don't often find straight men screwing in public restrooms only because of the requirement for a woman to be present.)

Dalek sek, being yourself doesn't necessarily mean talking about yourself and the things you love best, but it's worth saying that although there may not be that many girls who enjoy the things you enjoy (Larenxis would disagree), you only need one. Listen more than you talk, be nice, and try to find things that you both enjoy even if they are not the things you most enjoy - you can always do some things with other friends. A woman who enjoys every single thing you enjoy is either your soul mate, or smothering, but a woman who enjoys some of the same things can be a great partner. Maybe she hates sci-fi movies and video games, but loves comedies and the same music. If you have to sit through two hours of costumed period drama with the female lead agonizing over whether she should sleep with the male lead (she should) to get her to see the new Star Wars movie, you can always spend the time staring at the female lead's boobs. That's still a better deal than the woman who wants to see Mama Mia sitting through The Dark Knight, and you never know, she might even begin to enjoy sci-fi. (I am of course discounting as too hideous to discuss in public the possibility that you will begin to enjoy musicals and period dramas.)

Darth, for what it's worth, I don't find Spitzerhooker to be particularly attractive, nor does my wife or most of my friends. Not saying I would have turned it down when I was young and single (down, piggy side!), just saying that a walk through the mall will turn up more interesting and attractive women (with the rather large benefit of not being hookers) on any particular day. I think $4,000 a night is just what a married millionaire politician has to pay to get hookers to leave, not a fair evaluation of her market worth. (And being reasonably close to McCartney's and Spitzer's age, I can't imagine wanting a 22 year old even as a hooker. I feel old enough already.) McCartney could have as many 22 year olds as he wanted, but he wanted a wife. I can't imagine why he thought Heather Mills was a match, but I don't have a problem with her getting $49 mil considering his net worth except that it enabled her to move over HERE! Thanks, UK. We really didn't have enough party skanks of our own.

/drive-by post

If you can't talk about your hobbies with a person you have a romantic interest in, you probably won't be able to make a relationship last very long. Not to say that it's doomed to fail, but it's just better to have common topics of conversation.
You're going to find that "girls don't have anything interesting to say" when you go for the girls that don't like what you like.