I've read some posts and don't know exactly if this issue has been "covered" or at least talked about. OK just a little context, I did had a GF (lasted 2.5yrs, it's been over for 1.5yrs), I didn't have problem talking to her first of all because she was the one who approached me the first time (I felt something weird for her but I always saw her with the same dude, so as insecure as I am I couldn't imagine myself stealing the girl), and since she was also a geek and gamer (and fortunately a very pretty one haha) I had no problem relating with her once it had begun.
But that it's over now, and in this regard I remember the "all men are pigs" post. I somewhat "agree" with that. I don't know if merely thinking about sexually about some things makes you a pig, but I think the real pig is the one who actually does it and doesn't give a damn. I say this because a somewhat pig-guy ended up with my ex-girl... the security that it's portrayed by most (if not all) jerks really gets their attention sometimes, and many times wins over the "nice guy" (me). But after experiencing it directly and hearing it from friends and others, I think many of us has considered in one's mind "being a jerk". I'm not saying that has to be done or even that anyone can make themselves jerks, but what I try to say is that many men are or naturally jerks/pigs, or are "forced" or "dragged" into becoming one by experience.
Ok enough of that pre-context... now "today's deal"
I have a little female friends, and I don't have much problems talking with them.... but that's mostly in part because I already "know them" (coworkers, friends through another friend) so I don't have to break much entry-barriers. So my problem is, and I'm pretty sure that more guys have this too, is in making the FIRST APPROACH. If you already know a girl, she goes on the same class, she's in your team, she works with you, you were introduced to her by a friend, etc etc... I think it's not that difficult to feel less pressure and just be yourself, become closer friends, going out on little dates and so forth. However I repeat, the deal in my case is the first approach, specially to a girl you don't know, or one that maybe you won't see ever again (you saw her in the subway, in the bus, or in a more different context, a bar). There's a much narrower window for "mistakes", for starters the first thing that you say to her I guess it must get her attention somehow, and from that point you have to build more interest.
I'm not sure what could I say, the first thing that come to my mind are physical thinks (beautiful eyes, smile, etc...), since I don't even know her I don't know what else I could say haha... So anyone's oppinion or anecdotes would be nice :).
Ohh I forgot, I found this series of videos two days ago, and what it's said is very interesting at least haha, even if you believe or not in the techniques or tips mentioned. And no no this is not publicity haha, it's just a link to youtube to free videos :P
avykins: From my exp I have found the best way to "talk" to women is just to stfu and listen to them. Let them babble endlessly on about their past and their "deep emotional trauma" (they all seem to have it) and whatever other worthless things they want to rant about and they will love you. Very few women actually care enough to listen to men in return. Also apparently i have heard from several women if you really want to get to know a womans mind you should watch that crap Sex in the City movie. But I would honestly rather jam knitting needles in my eyes.
You seem like one who would pick a girl just for looks. Try having a conversation with her before thinking about romantic possibilities. You'll probably spare yourself a lot of pain in the ass conversations where you sit there and listen. (I'd rather pepper spray myself than watch that movie)
Nikomikiri: If you can't talk about your hobbies with a person you have a romantic interest in, you probably won't be able to make a relationship last very long. Not to say that it's doomed to fail, but it's just better to have common topics of conversation. You're going to find that "girls don't have anything interesting to say" when you go for the girls that don't like what you like.
OK I'll make a small link between this and
dalek sec: The whole be yourself thing is a total waste of time. I've always tried to be myself and it always fails everytime because you know there are just so many girls like sci-fi things or gaming or the cthulhu mytho's. It's pretty much made me realize that if I was to be myself, no girl would ever talk to me. but if I lied and made up some persona that a girl did like, then that would be worthless because it's not the real me but the real me is of no interest so I'm screwed either way. I can honestly say that after so much failure that I've become a rather bitter and hateful person when it comes to the whole "romance".
In my oppinion and little experience I think it all depends on what acting like yourself means... if you love anime and all you do is talk about it, unless she loves as much or almost as you do, she'll be bored... but if you don't act like a "freak" I guess it'll be alright. Now, I guess the success also depends not only if you like something a lot, but if its "vital"... if you love games I think you shouldn't REALLY NEED your girl to love them as much as you do (but it's great when it happens!), but AT LEAST she has to accept the fact that you love gaming, I mean that she doesn't consider your hobby as something stupid that she doesn't want to hear about... perhaps be GGG and play with you sometimes... but you have also to be flexible! If you don't like dancing a lot but she is GGG, from time to time it'd be nice to invite her out to dance, or don't *always* reject if she wants to do go out (but don't always do what she wants either hehe)
I'm not going to scroll all the way back to quote properly, but I did want to acknowledge the_root calling me out on the bias of the "just want to get in their pants" jab. Yeah, I guess you were right, although my intent was more to shock people into thinking about what they are really after. I've said similar things to women who say they want looove but then what they chase is looks and money. There's that joke I've seen attributed to a number of men, from Winston Churchill to Mark Twain, paraphrased here.
"Would you go to bed with me for a million dollars?" "Teehee, well, I guess maybe I would." "Would you go to bed with me for five dollars?" "No way! What sort of woman do you think I am?" "Oh, I think we've established what kind of woman you are. Now we are just haggling over price."
My point being that, in general, if your intentions and your actions do not match, you are unlikely to get what you want. In that case, you need to change your actions and/or check your actual intentions. And that's not just communication with your preferred sex, that's everything, your job, your friends, your education, your health. If you want to establish a relationship, you listen to the person you are talking to, because how else are you going to know that this person is good relationship material? If, on the other hand, what you really want is to get laid on a regular basis, by all means, pursue that. Just make sure that you know what you really want, because otherwise it's really hard to get it.
No disrespect to just wanting to get laid, either. It's a basic human need that is so frustrated by our culture that it's not surprising we find ourselves camoflaging it as something else, to ourselves even.
Well well.. a thread well suited for me. I have always understood females better than anything, and have always seemed to attract them. I prefer spending time with them, and, I guess, vice versa. I guess in some ways, I think in a rather womanly way. The best tip I've seen in this thread so far is definitely to LISTEN. By my experience, I have met very few guys who knows how to do that. But then, the greatest problem might be to understand them, and I have seen many of you understand this is due to a lot of hidden signals and energies they exude, which always effects communication. Some things are, I suppose, impossible to understand if one does not think in the same way, as in all human communication. If one does not have the same base way of thinking, one has to adapt. Flexibility of mind and thought can make one understand everything. In time, with experience, one can eventually read more of these signals that are present in all human communication. [/rant] Anyway, just wanted to get that out there. There are guys who understand women better than they understand other guys. x) (though there's not much to understand there)
dalek sec: The whole be yourself thing is a total waste of time. I've always tried to be myself and it always fails everytime because you know there are just so many girls like sci-fi things or gaming or the cthulhu mytho's. It's pretty much made me realize that if I was to be myself, no girl would ever talk to me. but if I lied and made up some persona that a girl did like, then that would be worthless because it's not the real me but the real me is of no interest so I'm screwed either way. I can honestly say that after so much failure that I've become a rather bitter and hateful person when it comes to the whole "romance".
Wow, i wish I had seen this earlier. *ahem* Actually, there are many girls like that. I'm good friends with some of them. You just don't look very hard and give up too easily. Shoot, I'd even be willing to look into some stuff that I hadn't been interested in previously if a romantic interest of mine liked it. I would have something to talk to them about.
This is something I always wondered and wanted to ask. How do you know if the girl actually likes you or want to be more than just a friend? Because I'm having a hard time telling the difference between a girl who is just your friend and a one that actually likes you.
mshcherbatskaya: I'm not going to scroll all the way back to quote properly, but I did want to acknowledge the_root calling me out on the bias of the "just want to get in their pants" jab. Yeah, I guess you were right, although my intent was more to shock people into thinking about what they are really after. I've said similar things to women who say they want looove but then what they chase is looks and money. There's that joke I've seen attributed to a number of men, from Winston Churchill to Mark Twain, paraphrased here.
"Would you go to bed with me for a million dollars?" "Teehee, well, I guess maybe I would." "Would you go to bed with me for five dollars?" "No way! What sort of woman do you think I am?" "Oh, I think we've established what kind of woman you are. Now we are just haggling over price."
My point being that, in general, if your intentions and your actions do not match, you are unlikely to get what you want. In that case, you need to change your actions and/or check your actual intentions. And that's not just communication with your preferred sex, that's everything, your job, your friends, your education, your health. If you want to establish a relationship, you listen to the person you are talking to, because how else are you going to know that this person is good relationship material? If, on the other hand, what you really want is to get laid on a regular basis, by all means, pursue that. Just make sure that you know what you really want, because otherwise it's really hard to get it.
No disrespect to just wanting to get laid, either. It's a basic human need that is so frustrated by our culture that it's not surprising we find ourselves camoflaging it as something else, to ourselves even.
Profound and quoted for truth (I do love that phrase, thanks be to whomever introduced me to it.)
It's always amazed me that men just looking to get laid so often bypass the women just looking to get laid in favor of attempting to convince those on the fence, so to speak. Lying to get sex = very bad juju/karma/judgment.
Reanimation: This is something I always wondered and wanted to ask. How do you know if the girl actually likes you or want to be more than just a friend? Because I'm having a hard time telling the difference between a girl who is just your friend and a one that actually likes you.
That's the most tricky part. There's no sure way to know, because all girls will act differently in that situation. You pretty much have to go by instinct, or get one of her female friends to find out, then bribe her to tell you.
I hate to say that, but it's true. For fear of ruining a friendship, a lot of girls won't make any actual move towards starting a romantic relationship.
Cheeze_Pavilion: I think you're equivocating on the meaning of the phrase "lack of logic" or "breakdown in logic." Choosing a bad investment over a better on is a lack of logic because *one is being illogical*. The "inefficiency in the learning process" is a "lack of logic" because it has nothing to do with logic: *one is being a-logical*.
Oh, but you're assuming that it's a bad investment. What if a girl really wants the ups and downs of a relationship like that? Even the stuff that is complained about is new or exciting. I think that there's some sort of need for a sense of adversity, with a reward promised in the future.
HowTo: Talk to Girls? Jesus Christ, you'd think women are Martians judging by the title of this topic.
There are three things to be aware of when making an impression on a lady: appearance, approach, and attitude.
Appearance:
First, you'll want to make sure you look like a man about his business. Wear attire which will underscore, or even embolden your body hair. It's a commonly understood fact that a man's virility is directly proportional to the amount of hair he has on his chest and back. You want to show every woman within your range that you're a man's man; an alpha-male; a head of a pride, fully glorified in your mane. If you have little or no body hair, it would be my advice that you give up your attempts to lure a woman, because she likely won't be interested in furless effeminate boys. You'd have better luck taping fake hair to your body than going your natural and confident way.
Second, you'll want to smell. Don't shower for at least a week. This will let your pheromones fully take effect. You'll reek manliness and leadership onto everything you touch. Your very aura will be worshipped by every woman around you and you'll soon make it clear to all other men that there's a real competitor in the arena. All living things will tremble and whither in your wake, stricken by your extraordinarily potent mansmell. Some women, in their delicate and frail forms, are known to pass out in the presence of a fully basked man. Whether it is extreme admiration or sheer awe which takes over them is still subject to argument, but some suggest that this is a primal instinct which allows for fornication to take place between a man and a "biologically willing" woman immediately and without unnecessary interruptions.
Approach:
As you make your move toward the woman of your choice, the manner of your action will tell her a lot about you. You'll want to show your determination. Do this by violently pushing and/or hitting away anything that stands between you and your target. This will stress that you're willing to risk everything around you for you to have her attention. It lets her know that her focus at this moment should be on you and nothing else. This is a very useful tactic, as it is known for women to have a much shorter average attention span than men. This will keep her from inadvertently missing you, ensuring that her deficiency won't disappoint you.
You should also keep in mind that as you walk toward a woman it's a good idea to employ strong verbal directions. Phrases like "Hey! You!" or "Look at me!" will charm her and put her immediately in your part of the field. She'll turn to you and pay close attention to the way you're approaching her, maximizing the effect of your efforts.
Attitude:
When the time for private conversation finally comes, a true man defines himself with his tonality. Be aggressive, loud, direct and overwhelming. Tell her exactly what you want her to hear. You want her number? A blunt "give me your number" would suffice. Other pickup lines include the charming "open your legs," the poetic "look, baby, I don't fuck around. I want you naked," and the masterful "I have an 8-foot monstercock." Don't ever back down and don't ever be afraid to share your lingual arts. A real man controls his language as he controls anything he pleases. She will fall for you in seconds if she hasn't already.
Note that some women may seek to challenge a suitor by way of a vocal projection, attempting to drown out the male as he serenates her. Do not be alarmed by this. Simply outdo her by raising your voice and aggression levels even higher. Another popular method is to firmly clamp her mouth shut with your hand and continue speaking. For a more classy approach, try applying pressure onto her neck, disrupting her voice while writing down your phone number and/or other details on a small piece of paper and then inserting it into her cleavage or her pants. While doing this, some men try to appeal to the woman and say something to soothe her, such as "how about we have this conversation over at your place?"
Follow this guide, and any woman you seek will be yours, obedient and ready, as soon as you set your eyes upon her lucky, luscious breasts.
mshcherbatskaya: If you want to establish a relationship, you listen to the person you are talking to, because how else are you going to know that this person is good relationship material? If, on the other hand, what you really want is to get laid on a regular basis, by all means, pursue that.
I always listen to girls, period. They have some interesting stories to tell I always find, and I find it a "joy" to hear what they have to say about certain things, it's a welcome break from hearing all about "guy things" all the time.
As a girl (yes, yes I'll just be blunt) this thread is hilarious! One thing that geeks/nerds/that sort of person tend to do really badly is actually get their intentions across. I seriously had no idea a guy liked me until he asked me out on a date. The sure fire way to get closer to this geek girl is just to hang out with me and be around. Is it that hard?
bride_of_lister: As a girl (yes, yes I'll just be blunt) this thread is hilarious! One thing that geeks/nerds/that sort of person tend to do really badly is actually get their intentions across. I seriously had no idea a guy liked me until he asked me out on a date. The sure fire way to get closer to this geek girl is just to hang out with me and be around. Is it that hard?
It's because they don't have any balls(I'll be as equally as blunt):)
As a Herculean love machine, i find talk is cheap.
Declaring your intentions and making the first move is as easy as a simple boob grab.
No boob to grab? then why were you trying.
This has been a post from THE ULTRA JOE, if you found that offensive than you missed the point and thats just fine with me, intelligence makes the best discriminator of all.
There are to many don'ts. Don't kick girls. Don't spit on them. Don't insult them. Don't throw them into a wall. Don't smell them but tell them how good they smell. Don't cut off their hair. Don't set them on fire. Don't smuggle them. Don't kill them. Don't race them. Don't point out their flaws. Don't disrespect them.
PurpleRain: There are to many don'ts. Don't kick girls. Don't spit on them. Don't insult them. Don't throw them into a wall. Don't smell them but tell them how good they smell. Don't cut off their hair. Don't set them on fire. Don't smuggle them. Don't kill them. Don't race them. Don't point out their flaws. Don't disrespect them.
Geez, what do you people want from me!
Heh, depends on how roughly we're being thrown to the wall ;)
PurpleRain: There are to many don'ts. Don't kick girls. Don't spit on them. Don't insult them. Don't throw them into a wall. Don't smell them but tell them how good they smell. Don't cut off their hair. Don't set them on fire. Don't smuggle them. Don't kill them. Don't race them. Don't point out their flaws. Don't disrespect them.
Geez, what do you people want from me!
Heh, depends on how roughly we're being thrown to the wall ;)
i usually go for hard enough to leave splatter, but it's never hard enough!
I tend to insult girls in a funny way. Joke-insults. So far it's been working great. I mimic my girlfriends laugh more often than I should. And if she gets mad I say it's just because it's so cute and she get blushy. Girls are easy. :)
So far it has worked on all the girls I've met. :)Just be careful.
Manic Depression: I tend to insult girls in a funny way. Joke-insults. So far it's been working great. I mimic my girlfriends laugh more often than I should. And if she gets mad I say it's just because it's so cute and she get blushy. Girls are easy. :)
So far it has worked on all the girls I've met. :)Just be careful.
Until one of them stabs you in the face with a dagger. haha.
Kikosemmek: HowTo: Talk to Girls? Jesus Christ, you'd think women are Martians judging by the title of this topic.
There are three things to be aware of when making an impression on a lady: appearance, approach, and attitude.
Appearance:
First, you'll want to make sure you look like a man about his business. Wear attire which will underscore, or even embolden your body hair. It's a commonly understood fact that a man's virility is directly proportional to the amount of hair he has on his chest and back. You want to show every woman within your range that you're a man's man; an alpha-male; a head of a pride, fully glorified in your mane. If you have little or no body hair, it would be my advice that you give up your attempts to lure a woman, because she likely won't be interested in furless effeminate boys. You'd have better luck taping fake hair to your body than going your natural and confident way.
Second, you'll want to smell. Don't shower for at least a week. This will let your pheromones fully take effect. You'll reek manliness and leadership onto everything you touch. Your very aura will be worshipped by every woman around you and you'll soon make it clear to all other men that there's a real competitor in the arena. All living things will tremble and whither in your wake, stricken by your extraordinarily potent mansmell. Some women, in their delicate and frail forms, are known to pass out in the presence of a fully basked man. Whether it is extreme admiration or sheer awe which takes over them is still subject to argument, but some suggest that this is a primal instinct which allows for fornication to take place between a man and a "biologically willing" woman immediately and without unnecessary interruptions.
Approach:
As you make your move toward the woman of your choice, the manner of your action will tell her a lot about you. You'll want to show your determination. Do this by violently pushing and/or hitting away anything that stands between you and your target. This will stress that you're willing to risk everything around you for you to have her attention. It lets her know that her focus at this moment should be on you and nothing else. This is a very useful tactic, as it is known for women to have a much shorter average attention span than men. This will keep her from inadvertently missing you, ensuring that her deficiency won't disappoint you.
You should also keep in mind that as you walk toward a woman it's a good idea to employ strong verbal directions. Phrases like "Hey! You!" or "Look at me!" will charm her and put her immediately in your part of the field. She'll turn to you and pay close attention to the way you're approaching her, maximizing the effect of your efforts.
Attitude:
When the time for private conversation finally comes, a true man defines himself with his tonality. Be aggressive, loud, direct and overwhelming. Tell her exactly what you want her to hear. You want her number? A blunt "give me your number" would suffice. Other pickup lines include the charming "open your legs," the poetic "look, baby, I don't fuck around. I want you naked," and the masterful "I have an 8-foot monstercock." Don't ever back down and don't ever be afraid to share your lingual arts. A real man controls his language as he controls anything he pleases. She will fall for you in seconds if she hasn't already.
Note that some women may seek to challenge a suitor by way of a vocal projection, attempting to drown out the male as he serenates her. Do not be alarmed by this. Simply outdo her by raising your voice and aggression levels even higher. Another popular method is to firmly clamp her mouth shut with your hand and continue speaking. For a more classy approach, try applying pressure onto her neck, disrupting her voice while writing down your phone number and/or other details on a small piece of paper and then inserting it into her cleavage or her pants. While doing this, some men try to appeal to the woman and say something to soothe her, such as "how about we have this conversation over at your place?"
Follow this guide, and any woman you seek will be yours, obedient and ready, as soon as you set your eyes upon her lucky, luscious breasts.
Kikosemmek: HowTo: Talk to Girls? Jesus Christ, you'd think women are Martians judging by the title of this topic.
There are three things to be aware of when making an impression on a lady: appearance, approach, and attitude.
Appearance:
First, you'll want to make sure you look like a man about his business. Wear attire which will underscore, or even embolden your body hair. It's a commonly understood fact that a man's virility is directly proportional to the amount of hair he has on his chest and back. You want to show every woman within your range that you're a man's man; an alpha-male; a head of a pride, fully glorified in your mane. If you have little or no body hair, it would be my advice that you give up your attempts to lure a woman, because she likely won't be interested in furless effeminate boys. You'd have better luck taping fake hair to your body than going your natural and confident way.
Second, you'll want to smell. Don't shower for at least a week. This will let your pheromones fully take effect. You'll reek manliness and leadership onto everything you touch. Your very aura will be worshipped by every woman around you and you'll soon make it clear to all other men that there's a real competitor in the arena. All living things will tremble and whither in your wake, stricken by your extraordinarily potent mansmell. Some women, in their delicate and frail forms, are known to pass out in the presence of a fully basked man. Whether it is extreme admiration or sheer awe which takes over them is still subject to argument, but some suggest that this is a primal instinct which allows for fornication to take place between a man and a "biologically willing" woman immediately and without unnecessary interruptions.
Approach:
As you make your move toward the woman of your choice, the manner of your action will tell her a lot about you. You'll want to show your determination. Do this by violently pushing and/or hitting away anything that stands between you and your target. This will stress that you're willing to risk everything around you for you to have her attention. It lets her know that her focus at this moment should be on you and nothing else. This is a very useful tactic, as it is known for women to have a much shorter average attention span than men. This will keep her from inadvertently missing you, ensuring that her deficiency won't disappoint you.
You should also keep in mind that as you walk toward a woman it's a good idea to employ strong verbal directions. Phrases like "Hey! You!" or "Look at me!" will charm her and put her immediately in your part of the field. She'll turn to you and pay close attention to the way you're approaching her, maximizing the effect of your efforts.
Attitude:
When the time for private conversation finally comes, a true man defines himself with his tonality. Be aggressive, loud, direct and overwhelming. Tell her exactly what you want her to hear. You want her number? A blunt "give me your number" would suffice. Other pickup lines include the charming "open your legs," the poetic "look, baby, I don't fuck around. I want you naked," and the masterful "I have an 8-foot monstercock." Don't ever back down and don't ever be afraid to share your lingual arts. A real man controls his language as he controls anything he pleases. She will fall for you in seconds if she hasn't already.
Note that some women may seek to challenge a suitor by way of a vocal projection, attempting to drown out the male as he serenates her. Do not be alarmed by this. Simply outdo her by raising your voice and aggression levels even higher. Another popular method is to firmly clamp her mouth shut with your hand and continue speaking. For a more classy approach, try applying pressure onto her neck, disrupting her voice while writing down your phone number and/or other details on a small piece of paper and then inserting it into her cleavage or her pants. While doing this, some men try to appeal to the woman and say something to soothe her, such as "how about we have this conversation over at your place?"
Follow this guide, and any woman you seek will be yours, obedient and ready, as soon as you set your eyes upon her lucky, luscious breasts.
you are my new hero, that's awesome!
WTF o.0 Are you serious? Please tell me that whole post was sarcasm?
Hey everyone,
I've read some posts and don't know exactly if this issue has been "covered" or at least talked about. OK just a little context, I did had a GF (lasted 2.5yrs, it's been over for 1.5yrs), I didn't have problem talking to her first of all because she was the one who approached me the first time (I felt something weird for her but I always saw her with the same dude, so as insecure as I am I couldn't imagine myself stealing the girl), and since she was also a geek and gamer (and fortunately a very pretty one haha) I had no problem relating with her once it had begun.
But that it's over now, and in this regard I remember the "all men are pigs" post. I somewhat "agree" with that. I don't know if merely thinking about sexually about some things makes you a pig, but I think the real pig is the one who actually does it and doesn't give a damn. I say this because a somewhat pig-guy ended up with my ex-girl... the security that it's portrayed by most (if not all) jerks really gets their attention sometimes, and many times wins over the "nice guy" (me). But after experiencing it directly and hearing it from friends and others, I think many of us has considered in one's mind "being a jerk". I'm not saying that has to be done or even that anyone can make themselves jerks, but what I try to say is that many men are or naturally jerks/pigs, or are "forced" or "dragged" into becoming one by experience.
Ok enough of that pre-context... now "today's deal"
I have a little female friends, and I don't have much problems talking with them.... but that's mostly in part because I already "know them" (coworkers, friends through another friend) so I don't have to break much entry-barriers. So my problem is, and I'm pretty sure that more guys have this too, is in making the FIRST APPROACH. If you already know a girl, she goes on the same class, she's in your team, she works with you, you were introduced to her by a friend, etc etc... I think it's not that difficult to feel less pressure and just be yourself, become closer friends, going out on little dates and so forth. However I repeat, the deal in my case is the first approach, specially to a girl you don't know, or one that maybe you won't see ever again (you saw her in the subway, in the bus, or in a more different context, a bar). There's a much narrower window for "mistakes", for starters the first thing that you say to her I guess it must get her attention somehow, and from that point you have to build more interest.
I'm not sure what could I say, the first thing that come to my mind are physical thinks (beautiful eyes, smile, etc...), since I don't even know her I don't know what else I could say haha... So anyone's oppinion or anecdotes would be nice :).