LOL Midnight I think he was referring to thongs...not tampons.

^_^

AnGeL.SLayer:
Guys, you are stereotyping females just a wee bit. They all aren't gold diggers. They all don't just want to abuse you and use you. You know a lot of guys are worse than females. You have to at least admit to that one.
^_^

I'd really like to; but I'm afraid, from my experience, it's about equal. Men are brutal, but women bring cruelty to new levels. And my gf agrees.

I would ask one question though : Why is your body shape so important to you? Most decent men really couldn't give a stuff if you're waif-thin or rotund.

Oh and don't say "I love you the way you are.", and then try to change us. I know you're doing it for our own good, but that's what our mum's do. :)

That makes more sense. Damnit, Yahtzee, the vitriol is rubbing off on me.

@ Monopoly Guy: Thongs =/= discomfort. Some girls can't stand them, others do. May I suggest not making assumptions?

I know quite a few gamer chicks who LOATHE being pointed out as women. There are some others that LOVE being pointed out as women. It's really pick-and-choose, but pointing it out does make you sound like a tool regardless.

Here are some questions for the wommin'-folk:

1) Any nurses or nursing students here? If so, do you find a guy in law enforcement interesting? I'm not asking to hook up, but it seems that the past 10 girlfriends I've had have either been nurses or in some field of medicine. It's getting a little...scary.

2) I know this varies from woman to woman, but I have to ask for opinion anyway: When hitting the G-spot, how soon is too soon?

3) Why is it (at least for a good deal of the time) that you may insinuate sexual encounters or interest in such, but the second that a guy points it out or offers, you immediately take offense as if only men thought about sex (by the way, guys, women think about sex LONGER...we just think of it more often)? It's annoying as all hell.

4) Again, this one's preference/opinion, but I've been getting several opinions from across the board: How long is too long when having sex?

That's it for now.

Msh:
You might be surprised how many women have chronic back pain because of the size of their boobs.

You'd be equally surprised at the amount of guys that get chronic spasms through rapid growth in their teens. And that's before we smash our heads open getting off buses, or trying to sit in some of those teensy seats.

As a question to all the girls, have you ever played a man online and not given away your true gender?

From what I've seen of this forum, there are quite a lot of females on here, and most of the males who use this forum aren't exactly your cliche "living-in-their-mothers-basement-playing-WoW-all-day" nerds either.
I'm not really sure what I'm trying to get at here, but it was a point that needed to be made.

For the record, most females who wear those ridiculously obtuse sunglasses are made of pure stupid.

This is a perversion of nature. The secrets of Women were never meant for Mortal Men!!

With that in mind, I present some theories from a man deeply interested and researched in the female mind (mostly to get sex (and avoid heart-ache/nagging), at least I'm honest about it)! :D

The Sunglasses
I think it's the case that women 1, feel mysterious and therefore sexier 2, use said sunglasses as a subtle way to hide their *often unfounded* flaws, ("I hate my nose, my eyes, I look really tired") boosting self-esteem like any flattering peice of clothing. 3, They're in fashion at the moment, and as humans do, they're great status symbols that say "Hey everyone, I'm exactly like you or you want to be me, I'm so happening up in here." lulz, or something. You get the idea.

Gold Digging and the Alpha-Bastard
The Female of the Homosapien species (imagine we're talking about people as animals here, which we all are really) is chemically, bio-metrically coded to seek strength, security and virility in a partner. Attaining this is equal to a guy's drive to have sex. It makes sense in the animal kingdom, if you think about it, because a female is often at the beck and call of randy males if she doesn't have a strong enough partner to defend her. (Gun-Toting Feminists: I am not saying women are weak. Don't take my balls!), She also looks to seek to get pregnant from the best of the best, so that the entire species will benefit from super-children. Survival of the Fittest in action...

Now, obviously, we don't live like Gorrilla's any more, not for a good 5000 years in some cultures, BUT if you think for one second that means we don't still think like the primitives in our sub-conscious animal minds (which therefore drives most of our actions), you're either the "we're better than animals because we're humans" arrogant bastard type, you're simply mistaken or haven't thought about it all that much. This, is why women look for "Real Men (of Genius)" who can handle themselves in a fight, don't have to fight for survival, or give them wild awesome sex. The female mind, in the same way it knows Chocolate is awesome, latches onto those feelings and looks for more of them in any partner they can find... If presented with the choice between a Friendly Nice-Guy, and a Strong Alpha-Bastard the decision is easy. A lesson I learnt growing up for certain!

And, I don't want to discourage good guys at all, there is a way to be a Real Man (the Alpha-Man) for a woman, without being a Bastard, possibly the best thing a lady could hope for. Which leads us nicely onto...

Talking to Women
This can be tricky if you haven't perfected how to be a Real Man yet. It's not about being flash, smug or arrogant, those tired stereotypes of the Slappable (as in, someone you want to slap) Alpha-Male. It's just about standing up for what you believe in, being yourself as best you can be, or having a little thing I like to call "Self Confidence", the single most important factor in the whole equation! Get a copy of Paul McKenna's Instant Confidence if you're having troubles with self confidence, honestly, your chances of getting into a loving relationship are slim to none if you don't love yourself (not like that fella's). What you want to aim for is a situation where you see a beautiful woman as being on your level, where you believe that you're a good thing for them if you were to date them, that they want to be with you but they don't know it just yet. Your following words and actions (if you're trying to win them over) should be the subtle hints and suggestions laced into everyday conversation that reflect those beliefs. Women adore strong "Real" Men, it's just hard to find those qualities in a nice guy sometimes, because we Nice Guys over analyse the situation and place too much respect and adoration on said women of interest, suffocating any attraction they might have to that burning passionate soul you have inside.

Of course, you also need to be an interesting person as far as your life goes... One track mind Fanboy's need not apply. Most normal Ladies don't want to hear about how awesome SSMB is (lol, Yatzhee's review was awesome) across the dinner table. =) If all else fails, you can just do what some guys do, and turn her into a topic of discussion. Tell her things even she doesn't know about herself.

Telling a Girl She's Not Funny
Step 1, Decide if you want to, or are ever likely to have sex with this woman.
Step 2, Take your answer from step 2 and either tell her she's not funny, or make her feel connected to you by laughing at all her jokes. I prefer the latter no matter the outcome, it's a good deed. =]

Pirates or Ninja's?
Neither are as good as Spartans.

Lulz, The above post was far too serious business! It's like a habit of mine. MUST BE PREACHY. What a noob.

And on that note...

Darth Mobius:
You know, many of the people on that post were girls too... I don't know if you noticed but I and Jallil Vlos (she is my girlfriend) were giving advice to a guy based upon what had worked most often with other people, and not just ourselves. She is a girl, and I have dated over 25 different women, each one different and unique. We all said that while these will not work in EVERY case, they are general advice for helping him get over his fear of women, something I would think you would APPRECIATE, rather than seeing it as being misguided attempts to help him get laid... You are ONE woman, and you will no more have the answer than me, who has dated over 20 women. I have found my true love, so I am secure that I know how to handle myself with her, and I find it offensive that you make two posts on this forum and then claim that we are all wrong.

How old are you? How many women have you dated, and what makes you eligible to give advice to supposedly inept guys? In the grand scheme of things, your advice only applies to people who interact with you. What works for you will not always work for other women. It is shameful to think that you can tell me how to act around women when I have probably failed more relationships and learned from more women than you have.

On behalf of sensible, lonely people everywhere,

Number 1, Shut the fuck up.
2, You're plain bragging about how many women you've had, go to hell.
3, If you're "secure that you know how to handle yourself with her" you wouldn't be jumping up like a rabid dog, trying to belittle someone in retaliation. Your post is that of an insecure person. Secure people let things like this slide, then go about their happy lives.
4th and finally, Wherever this altercation started, it has nothing to do with this thread, if someone offended you, take it outside, don't embarrass yourself by trying to derail a perfectly good thing.

Much Love! ^_^

I wasn't bragging, have already apologized, if you bothered to look, and have no interest in continuing on about that post, so kindly leave it alone.

this is related to my first question, but when you do say you need a break, does it ever end up to actually BE a break?

@ Monopoly Guy: It's weird. Sometimes they mean it. Other times it's an excuse to wean down the relationship and dump our silly asses as soon as possible without as much hurt. At least in my experience. I gotta hear a woman's input on this as well.

Arkitext:

Gold Digging and the Alpha-Bastard
Now, obviously, we don't live like Gorrilla's any more, not for a good 5000 years in some cultures, BUT if you think for one second that means we don't still think like the primitives in our sub-conscious animal minds (which therefore drives most of our actions), you're either the "we're better than animals because we're humans" arrogant bastard type, you're simply mistaken or haven't thought about it all that much. This, is why women look for "Real Men (of Genius)" who can handle themselves in a fight, don't have to fight for survival, or give them wild awesome sex.

The thing is, though, women look for men who can't handle themselves in a fight, barely feed themselves, and are horrible at sex.

They're called musicians.

In all seriousness, women really *don't* go for guys who can handle themselves in a fight. They go for men who can handle themselves in a leadership situation. Women don't go for the linebacker that sacks the quarterback--they go for the quarterback who runs the team, including the guys who are tougher than he is.

The alpha male is very rarely the toughest or strongest member of a human male group. My guess is that somewhere along the line between when we diverged from other primates and 5,000 years ago, human beings developed alternate social structures that did not depend nearly as much on physical superiority as those found in our primate relatives.

the monopoly guy:
do you enjoy having a piece of string up your butt crack all day or is that just a sacrifice

edited due to horilbe tpying

Well, this is what my mother told me about why she wears thongs (yes, my mother tells me about her thong underwear, see the "Weird" thread for more details) and it makes a lot of sense. A lot of women's underwear had a tendency to ride up, so that the entire back gets all wedged into the ass-crack. Given the choice of wearing a narrow little thong that was designed to be a thong or wearing briefs that spontaneously decide to go thong, the first option is naturally more comfortable.

Also, thongs do not show panty-lines through a woman's clothes.

The_root_of_all_evil:

Msh:
You might be surprised how many women have chronic back pain because of the size of their boobs.

You'd be equally surprised at the amount of guys that get chronic spasms through rapid growth in their teens. And that's before we smash our heads open getting off buses, or trying to sit in some of those teensy seats.

Spasms of what sort? Women get growing pains, mostly with the widening of the hips, and boobs do not feel pleasant while growing in. I couldn't sleep on my stomach for 6 months when puberty hit. As to sizing, that's happening to everyone, the entire population is getting bigger (not just fatter) so the human size standards for things like seat width, which were established in the 40s, if I recall correctly, are way out of date.

Duck Sandwich:

- How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

How about:
-How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if that woodchuck was chuck norris?

Again @ monopoly guy: the reasons depend entirely on the individual woman. Whenever I've said it in the past, it's because the amount of frustration in the relationship has built up to such a toxic point that I cannot perceive anything else. Some of my girlfriends, on the other hand, have used that same excuse as a way to sleep with other guys in a 'legal' way. There really is no blanket answer here; you have to use the personality, trustworthiness, values and goals of the individual as a guide. Here's a bit of a rubric, though:

If the woman says she wants a break, and is evasive or tight-lipped about why, it's because she has either done something she wants to take the time to hide or wants to do something that she cannot justify doing while in a relationship. This type of person will not tell you what this is unless either they feel that absolutely no consequences will come of their spilling or they're trapped. If no answer is forthcoming, badger their friends. We get gossipy.
If the woman says she wants a break and talks herself into a tearful lather about why, then listen, because she's speaking her feelings. She still wants the relationship to continue, but there's an issue, argument or hell, even a general build-up of bad feelings that she wants to let mellow out before she keeps on. In this case, should the issue actually be resolved, there's a good chance that the break is temporary and you guys will be a happy duo soon enough - providing you don't use the break as an excuse to distance yourself from her, and you don't talk at all about what the problem may be. In this situation, keep your touchy grabby emotions to yourself, but keep the discourse flowing.

Some things you just cannot get perspective on until you've slept alone in your own bed for a few nights.

(I guess this means I'm reporting for question duty?)

And regarding thongs: we wear them for the same reason we wear heels (which are, by the way, a dozen times over more uncomfortable than a good thong): they make our butts look good.

In response to the sunglasses thing:

As a woman I have always hated large sunglasses. They make you look like a moronic alien trying to fit in with "popular" culture. I wore small lenses up until 4 years ago when I found out they were terrible for driving... the sun is a mean bastard who likes to penetrate my pupils from as many angles as possible. I find that sunglasses with a large lens generally have thick frames and arms that cut off the sun from pupil rape. So the reason some women wear them is for complete sun protection, but I bet most simply want to follow the latest trend.

I have a question though it may get me a response my brain will not understand and as a result my brain might move to Florida...

Anyhoo. how do you manage to penetrate those nigh un-breakable Gossip walls that surround and comprise a majority of girls conversation to reach the presumably caramel center of actual conversation?

I'm gonna pick and choose the questions and probably most of them will be repeats but some of the questions are pretty funny.

Why are girls only interested in money, and the guys who seem to be throwing their lives away by being in gangs, doing drugs, ect.?
- Personally, I would probably marry for money because I would love to just do nothing/whatever I want and marrying money would allow for this. Yea I'd be totally using the guy but ya know what rich guys don't marry girls for their personality but for their looks, so while she may only want him for his money, he only wants her for her looks so I'd say it's fair.
-As to the bad boy thing, personally I would never go for that those type often have far too much male pride for me to stand. Though I've seen girls try to date the bad boy type thinking they can change them, sort of as a pet project (lol)

and why do girls always carry around purses. I just never got that?
- No rooms to fit anything in your pocket, seriously there is absolutely no room, plus some pants don't even give you pockets.

Can girls read our minds?
- Maybe, though you guys make it really obvious, OR, and I have been known to do this myself, we'll say "stop that" just for kicks and you totally blow your cover and start rambling on about stuff we never knew about.

When you say you want to take a break, do you really mean it or are you just saying that to make us feel better?
-It's a trap, generally, I know a few girls who are just horrible about it because when they say it they use it as a test to see what you'll do so my suggestion is either break it off or wait around till she calls you and whatever you do, do not date other girls of this "time off" that is basically the whole point of this test, at least from what I've seen.

How come women can be snarky at something another woman finds hilarious, yet they are both interested in the same things?
I will say that that the question pertains to not a sexual something or anything. Just... why come snarky?
- Good chance that female does not like the other one and they're picking on them.

1) Any nurses or nursing students here? If so, do you find a guy in law enforcement interesting? I'm not asking to hook up, but it seems that the past 10 girlfriends I've had have either been nurses or in some field of medicine. It's getting a little...scary.
- You work in the same type of field, like you both work as aids for people so you'll have a few things in common. Plus you probably understand working awkward hours and being on call a lot versus someone who works a 9-5 job.

3) Why is it (at least for a good deal of the time) that you may insinuate sexual encounters or interest in such, but the second that a guy points it out or offers, you immediately take offense as if only men thought about sex (by the way, guys, women think about sex LONGER...we just think of it more often)? It's annoying as all hell.
- As much as people like to ignore this there is a double standard for women regarding sex and this is just a direct result of that.

4) Again, this one's preference/opinion, but I've been getting several opinions from across the board: How long is too long when having sex?
-Though this one is a bit obvious but hey I shouldn't assume. Quality over quantity, it's not how long it's how good.

Anyhoo. how do you manage to penetrate those nigh un-breakable Gossip walls that surround and comprise a majority of girls conversation to reach the presumably caramel center of actual conversation?
- Not all girls gossip, also what you see as gossip is just us talking about what is going in people's lives not necessarily gossip. As far as breaking into that conversation unless you know the people they are talking about good luck, because if they're talking about people you don't know and you start saying stuff, whether you mean to be or not, you can often sound very condescending. If you don't want to talk "gossip" bring up something else, but not when they're in the middle of a conversation because then you're just being rude. I don't mean to sound really preachy so I'm sorry if I do but I've found that when guys try to talk "gossip" with me it's often stuff I really never needed to know or is something I don't care about, and they for some reason think I do.

The Potato Lord:
how do you manage to penetrate those nigh un-breakable Gossip walls that surround and comprise a majority of girls conversation to reach the presumably caramel center of actual conversation?

Normally I don't, or can't. The fact is that those type of girls are like a completely different species and many of us cannot communicate with them on a normal level. Now that I think about it more, those type of girls don't even really have something I would call a conversation, since conversations are supposed to be meaningful or make sense.

When I was younger I tried to fit in with those kind of girls in order to be "normal" instead of a tomboy, but honestly it takes way too much effort to try and decipher their language. There are different levels of them as well... some just say "like" way too often, so all you have to do is adjust your brain to block out every single "like". The rest of them use heavy slang and are completely hopeless.

uninspired_name:
I'm gonna pick and choose the questions and probably most of them will be repeats but some of the questions are pretty funny.

3) Why is it (at least for a good deal of the time) that you may insinuate sexual encounters or interest in such, but the second that a guy points it out or offers, you immediately take offense as if only men thought about sex (by the way, guys, women think about sex LONGER...we just think of it more often)? It's annoying as all hell.
- As much as people like to ignore this there is a double standard for women regarding sex and this is just a direct result of that.

- Yeah, but if I bring up the double standard and call for equality I get crucified, so what gives?

4) Again, this one's preference/opinion, but I've been getting several opinions from across the board: How long is too long when having sex?
-Though this one is a bit obvious but hey I shouldn't assume. Quality over quantity, it's not how long it's how good.

- I understand that, however, for some women even with multiple orgasm they want to keep going (upwards of 3 hours for some). I understand how little is too little, but too much seems like a much more blurry frontier.

GUYS: WE TALK GOSSIP TOO, DON'T DENY IT.

Some more questions:

1) I had a girlfriend once that no matter what could not have a vaginal orgasm. I mean we tried EVERYTHING in the book. As of now we've broken up, but if I ever encounter that little fracas I want to go in a little more prepared. What can I do in that situation (other than clitoral orgasm, mind you).

2) My ex can't sleep in anybody's bed but her own. How can I get her out of that habit? (we're still into each other)

Thanks for the answers.

how can you tell if a girl is a lesbian, boy have i managed to make that mistake twice

Meuacan:
[quote=uninspired_name]I'm gonna pick and choose the questions and probably most of them will be repeats but some of the questions are pretty funny.

3) Why is it (at least for a good deal of the time) that you may insinuate sexual encounters or interest in such, but the second that a guy points it out or offers, you immediately take offense as if only men thought about sex (by the way, guys, women think about sex LONGER...we just think of it more often)? It's annoying as all hell.
- As much as people like to ignore this there is a double standard for women regarding sex and this is just a direct result of that.

- Yeah, but if I bring up the double standard and call for equality I get crucified, so what gives?

4) Again, this one's preference/opinion, but I've been getting several opinions from across the board: How long is too long when having sex?
-Though this one is a bit obvious but hey I shouldn't assume. Quality over quantity, it's not how long it's how good.

- I understand that, however, for some women even with multiple orgasm they want to keep going (upwards of 3 hours for some). I understand how little is too little, but too much seems like a much more blurry frontier.

3. I'm not really sure what you're asking, it's either guys also have a double standard and when you bring that up you get crucified OR when you try to bring up the double standard for girls they crucify you. I'll try to answer both but I'm pretty sure it's the first one.

It's my guess that the male double standard is the "better" one (please don't shoot me for this it is not my oppionion) so you just sound like you're whinnying and that (at least regarding gender) guys have always been power while women have been oppressed so it can sometimes sound like you're talking out of your ass. I personally think that the male double standard gives the illusion that guys have more freedom regarding sex but I think that it traps guys as much as girls get trapped by theirs because guys have to deal with their own stereotypes.

As for the other option, that if you bring up the female double standard you get crucified, it'd probably be because you're not female so when you try to bring it up you once again are thought to be talking out of your ass.

4. If she wants to keep doing it, then keep doing it. Most females will, though not all, tell you when too much is too much.

Meuacan:

1) I had a girlfriend once that no matter what could not have a vaginal orgasm. I mean we tried EVERYTHING in the book. As of now we've broken up, but if I ever encounter that little fracas I want to go in a little more prepared. What can I do in that situation (other than clitoral orgasm, mind you).

From what I have read, some women just cannot have a vaginal orgasm. In fact I think there were only about 20% of American women who could recall having a vaginal orgasm in a survey done a while ago. If you're experimental, vibrators and toys are the usual suggestions. However, I have heard that penis piercings (completely through piercings, not skin piercings)are highly effective. I doubt you'd want to go that extreme but I'm just passing on the info. Honestly some women just can't have that type of orgasm, so you should just sit down with your partner and ask them about it.

2) My ex can't sleep in anybody's bed but her own. How can I get her out of that habit? (we're still into each other)

Maybe she should try moving familiar things from her own bed to a different one (ie. pillows, sheets, etc.)in order to trick her body into thinking she's in the same bed. I experienced this kind of problem when I was a kid... the objects thing worked, but maybe she could also try spending time on the different bed ahead of trying to sleep on it, in order to get a feel for the bed before she commits herself to sleeping. Something casual where she can lounge like reading or talking on the phone.

smallharmlesskitten:
how can you tell if a girl is a lesbian, boy have i managed to make that mistake twice

Mention you are. Either she will concur with you or she won't.

btw to the above i'm a guy and that question was so i dont embarras myself when i try and hit on them

This is a question for solely a woman answerer

I have recently tried for 3 different women, all turned me down

So tell me, what is the best way to ask a girl out?
What do you like best for something like that?
Is it a place or a gift? Or just a simple question?

I want to get out of my mother's god damn basement!

How do you get a girl into a threso... ok I'll stop there.

Ah, I'm all out of questions. I think it's pretty simple most of the time. When they're not yelling at you for doing trivial things. I swear that duck wanted to be hugged!

Irridium:
Why are girls only interested in money, and the guys who seem to be throwing their lives away by being in gangs, doing drugs, ect.

and why do girls always carry around purses. I just never got that

Ok when people design womans clothing they either don't have pockets or the pockets are too small. Woman like to carry around the basic needs. I carry a purse for my phone, pda, pen, chapstick, tampons (Always needed!!!!), hand sanitizer, and sometimes a small thing of lotion. can't carry all that in a pocket. Not to mention purses com in handy when sneaking food into movie theatres.

Girls aren't all interested in money. I'm not. Im interested in a carrer cuz I'm not gonna support someone financially. Otherwise its charm and personality that makes me fall.

The_root_of_all_evil:

AnGeL.SLayer:
Guys, you are stereotyping females just a wee bit. They all aren't gold diggers. They all don't just want to abuse you and use you. You know a lot of guys are worse than females. You have to at least admit to that one.
^_^

I'd really like to; but I'm afraid, from my experience, it's about equal. Men are brutal, but women bring cruelty to new levels. And my gf agrees.

I would ask one question though : Why is your body shape so important to you? Most decent men really couldn't give a stuff if you're waif-thin or rotund.

Oh and don't say "I love you the way you are.", and then try to change us. I know you're doing it for our own good, but that's what our mum's do. :)

They only care because someone else has chosen to make it matter above all else. Someone, most likely a guy, has commented or hinted at weight or their body in some form or another. This makes them naturally subconscious. If someone pointed out a flaw about you wouldn't you look into it? Women are just expect to be this image of perfection that the media and guys or even other females have put up. How does a female compete with the perfection that is in Hollywood. Especially when that is seemingly all guys ever seen to seek out? We all know Hollywood isn't real, so then why do guys want it so bad? How does a 'normal' everyday female compete with that? More often than not guys will be shallow when it comes to how a women looks. He would think twice about going out with her if she was over weight. Physical attraction is just as big a factor as personal compatibility in todays society.

^_^