Spacelord: When we have discovered how to create babies without the need of any male material. I would guess another 50 years.
Whats the good way to tell a woman you don't like her jokes? Well, make it sound like it's not her fault, or even has anything to do with her. Something like 'I think I don't really get your jokes, I tried, but sorry, it doesn't work for me'. She can't take much insult from that. This method can work for a lot of thing you don't like, by the way.
When trying to ask a woman for a date, make sure the woman is comfortable with you. When it is the first time date, make sure it is something neutral, so that it can be either a 'friends going out' thing, or a date, so the girl doesn't feel pushed into something 'romantic' and could say 'no thank' after it with good grace.
Nurses go out with policemen because it makes great roleplay sex. Just kidding.
Females are insecure because everyday, hundreds of images from billboards, glossies, movies, tv, etc, yell 'THIS IS THE PERFECT WOMAN!'. Of course, no one looks like the perfect woman. Hell, with photoshop these days, even the photomodel doesn't look like the perfect woman anymore. It's very very very VERY hard to escape from that image that wriggles itself in your head. Even when you try to ignore it, you will pick it up anyways.
Arkitext: This is a perversion of nature. The secrets of Women were never meant for Mortal Men!!
With that in mind, I present some theories from a man deeply interested and researched in the female mind (mostly to get sex (and avoid heart-ache/nagging), at least I'm honest about it)! :D
The Sunglasses I think it's the case that women 1, feel mysterious and therefore sexier 2, use said sunglasses as a subtle way to hide their *often unfounded* flaws, ("I hate my nose, my eyes, I look really tired") boosting self-esteem like any flattering peice of clothing. 3, They're in fashion at the moment, and as humans do, they're great status symbols that say "Hey everyone, I'm exactly like you or you want to be me, I'm so happening up in here." lulz, or something. You get the idea.
Gold Digging and the Alpha-Bastard The Female of the Homosapien species (imagine we're talking about people as animals here, which we all are really) is chemically, bio-metrically coded to seek strength, security and virility in a partner. Attaining this is equal to a guy's drive to have sex. It makes sense in the animal kingdom, if you think about it, because a female is often at the beck and call of randy males if she doesn't have a strong enough partner to defend her. (Gun-Toting Feminists: I am not saying women are weak. Don't take my balls!), She also looks to seek to get pregnant from the best of the best, so that the entire species will benefit from super-children. Survival of the Fittest in action...
Now, obviously, we don't live like Gorrilla's any more, not for a good 5000 years in some cultures, BUT if you think for one second that means we don't still think like the primitives in our sub-conscious animal minds (which therefore drives most of our actions), you're either the "we're better than animals because we're humans" arrogant bastard type, you're simply mistaken or haven't thought about it all that much. This, is why women look for "Real Men (of Genius)" who can handle themselves in a fight, don't have to fight for survival, or give them wild awesome sex. The female mind, in the same way it knows Chocolate is awesome, latches onto those feelings and looks for more of them in any partner they can find... If presented with the choice between a Friendly Nice-Guy, and a Strong Alpha-Bastard the decision is easy. A lesson I learnt growing up for certain!
And, I don't want to discourage good guys at all, there is a way to be a Real Man (the Alpha-Man) for a woman, without being a Bastard, possibly the best thing a lady could hope for. Which leads us nicely onto...
Talking to Women This can be tricky if you haven't perfected how to be a Real Man yet. It's not about being flash, smug or arrogant, those tired stereotypes of the Slappable (as in, someone you want to slap) Alpha-Male. It's just about standing up for what you believe in, being yourself as best you can be, or having a little thing I like to call "Self Confidence", the single most important factor in the whole equation! Get a copy of Paul McKenna's Instant Confidence if you're having troubles with self confidence, honestly, your chances of getting into a loving relationship are slim to none if you don't love yourself (not like that fella's). What you want to aim for is a situation where you see a beautiful woman as being on your level, where you believe that you're a good thing for them if you were to date them, that they want to be with you but they don't know it just yet. Your following words and actions (if you're trying to win them over) should be the subtle hints and suggestions laced into everyday conversation that reflect those beliefs. Women adore strong "Real" Men, it's just hard to find those qualities in a nice guy sometimes, because we Nice Guys over analyse the situation and place too much respect and adoration on said women of interest, suffocating any attraction they might have to that burning passionate soul you have inside.
Of course, you also need to be an interesting person as far as your life goes... One track mind Fanboy's need not apply. Most normal Ladies don't want to hear about how awesome SSMB is (lol, Yatzhee's review was awesome) across the dinner table. =) If all else fails, you can just do what some guys do, and turn her into a topic of discussion. Tell her things even she doesn't know about herself.
Telling a Girl She's Not Funny Step 1, Decide if you want to, or are ever likely to have sex with this woman. Step 2, Take your answer from step 2 and either tell her she's not funny, or make her feel connected to you by laughing at all her jokes. I prefer the latter no matter the outcome, it's a good deed. =]
Pirates or Ninja's? Neither are as good as Spartans.
Lulz, The above post was far too serious business! It's like a habit of mine. MUST BE PREACHY. What a noob.
And on that note...
Darth Mobius: You know, many of the people on that post were girls too... I don't know if you noticed but I and Jallil Vlos (she is my girlfriend) were giving advice to a guy based upon what had worked most often with other people, and not just ourselves. She is a girl, and I have dated over 25 different women, each one different and unique. We all said that while these will not work in EVERY case, they are general advice for helping him get over his fear of women, something I would think you would APPRECIATE, rather than seeing it as being misguided attempts to help him get laid... You are ONE woman, and you will no more have the answer than me, who has dated over 20 women. I have found my true love, so I am secure that I know how to handle myself with her, and I find it offensive that you make two posts on this forum and then claim that we are all wrong.
How old are you? How many women have you dated, and what makes you eligible to give advice to supposedly inept guys? In the grand scheme of things, your advice only applies to people who interact with you. What works for you will not always work for other women. It is shameful to think that you can tell me how to act around women when I have probably failed more relationships and learned from more women than you have.
On behalf of sensible, lonely people everywhere,
Number 1, Shut the fuck up. 2, You're plain bragging about how many women you've had, go to hell. 3, If you're "secure that you know how to handle yourself with her" you wouldn't be jumping up like a rabid dog, trying to belittle someone in retaliation. Your post is that of an insecure person. Secure people let things like this slide, then go about their happy lives. 4th and finally, Wherever this altercation started, it has nothing to do with this thread, if someone offended you, take it outside, don't embarrass yourself by trying to derail a perfectly good thing.
Much Love! ^_^
Ok now either you're enjoying being a mood kill or your just a bitch. Let him brag. He must be doing SOMETHING right. If he can have any woman he wanted, and I know he can because of how he treats me, then let him talk. Woman i've had a long night DO NOT get me pissed.
He's not Insecure. Men brag. Live With It! I like to think about the fact, he can get any girl in the universe, and he still lets me have his heart. Find a cock, shove it down your throat, and hopefully you'll choke. Sorry Guys, like I said i'm in a bad mood from work and that felt good to say.
It depends on the type of girls you want to meet... Bars are great for one night stands, but you need something a little more wholesome for decent relationships...
Oklahoma, your best bet is to become a Mormon...
Just kidding... But you can't go wrong with meeting a nice girl at a church... My ex-girlfriend was going to a Mormon church when I met her, and she has slept with more women than me now! So you can even meet a good slut or two at church if you watch carefully...
Am i right in assuming that most of the chicks answering these question are not the 'run of the mill' women?
any of these sound familiar girls;
more male friends than female? find your a better driver than your female peers? find your better at anything stereotypically guy related ie; mechanical stuff, engineering than your female peers? just don't 'get' 'women logic'? better hand eye coordination (you gamer girls =P)? don't communicate so well with other women?
i watched a documentary on this once, and it is to do with the hormones present in the womb when developing.
and it doesn't JUST effect twins maybe us gamer girls shouldn't be giving advice when it comes to 'girly girls', cause really where chemically quite different.
Ultrajoe: why do chicks complain and then get pissed when you try to solve their problem? do you enjoy having a reason to seethe?
Ooh me on this. Women complain because of a problem, not because they want a solution. Men want to fix every problem and it annoys the hell out of women. One of the first things I learnt. That and how to kiss someone a foot smaller than me.
As for meeting girls (or guys) there are studies to show the best place is at the meat counter in a supermarket. Seriously.
AnGeL.SLayer: If someone pointed out a flaw about you wouldn't you look into it?
If I did that with evryone of my flaws, I'd have no time to do anything else. Some of them are my flaws, they are never gonna change because they can't. (I like my glasses, I like to eat, I 'm opinionated: They're not gonna change)
We all know Hollywood isn't real, so then why do guys want it so bad?
Jerks do. Reasonable men don't.
He would think twice about going out with her if she was over weight.
If any bloke thinks twice about a relationship, there's something far worse than weight.
Seriously, most guys love you for your strengths rather than in spite of your flaws. Anyone who considers your weight only wants you as a trophy and they're best avoided.
I'd be willing to bet that any of the guys here have dumped a woman for being creepy or being an argumentative cow but not one for her weight/appearance.
Msh: You might be surprised how many women have chronic back pain because of the size of their boobs.
You'd be equally surprised at the amount of guys that get chronic spasms through rapid growth in their teens. And that's before we smash our heads open getting off buses, or trying to sit in some of those teensy seats.
Spasms of what sort?
Well, the ribs do separate, so if you imagine close to a dislocating a shoulder. And as for the 'dropping', I don't think there has even been such an emasculating experience in all my life. It's the main reason men go suddenly rampant afterwards.
Seriously, most guys love you for your strengths rather than in spite of your flaws. Anyone who considers your weight only wants you as a trophy and they're best avoided. .
Not to play the shallow pig, but surely physical attraction has some bearing on the women i choose to court, seeing inner beauty is all well and good until you need an oil rig to get to it.
"why wont you go out with me, Ultrajoe? Shallow pig and unrelenting hulk that you are!" "because i find you unattractive" "but surely what counts is inner beauty!" "inner beauty may be there, but right now all i see is the beard and neck tumor, now go away"
perhaps i'm trapped in the beliefs of the past, but ill be damned when i'm prosecuted for only finding certain women hot, its natural selection.
The male version of it is when we have the brief bouts of temper loss. You know, when you punch a door to get rid of anger. A lot of women see that as about to turn on them when it's actually just a way to vent frustration.
Women complain. Men hit things. (In general)
@Ultrajoe Pbbbbbrt. You know what I mean. There's a nice rounded figure and then there's a figure that's round. General rule : If you're under 20 stone, most men will still find you attractive. If your over that, there's some men who love that.
Darth Mobius: It depends on the type of girls you want to meet... Bars are great for one night stands, but you need something a little more wholesome for decent relationships...
Oklahoma, your best bet is to become a Mormon...
Just kidding... But you can't go wrong with meeting a nice girl at a church... My ex-girlfriend was going to a Mormon church when I met her, and she has slept with more women than me now! So you can even meet a good slut or two at church if you watch carefully...
lol what little I have seen of town, I doubt there is more than 3 mormons here, lots of churches though...define irony, stopping going to church because of too many fake people (of course in california about 7/10 in general are fake, guess where I used to live!) and contemplating going back to trawl for tail kinda funny. Although I probably just targeted myself for flamewars by putting this on here.
Indigo_Dingo: How do you communicate you are not interested in sex, but a relationship?
I'm a man but I may be able to answer that question. You can honestly say that you're not looking for sex, but you can't honestly say you don't want it. So here's what I'd say "Guys do want sex HOWEVER any guy who really cares about you won't pressure you." If any woman feels the need to make a change to my statement or discredit it entirely go ahead.
AnGeL.SLayer: Guys, you are stereotyping females just a wee bit. They all aren't gold diggers. They all don't just want to abuse you and use you. You know a lot of guys are worse than females. You have to at least admit to that one.
^_^
As are many females worse than men. Though men and woman are assholes in different ways.
The backstabbing bitch, the asshole stud, the whore, the pimp...
Ultrajoe: [quote=The_root_of_all_evil] Seriously, most guys love you for your strengths rather than in spite of your flaws. Anyone who considers your weight only wants you as a trophy and they're best avoided. .
Yes but people who are really fit and into keeping their body tidy will probably disapprove of an overweight chick because staying healthy is very important to them. It's just like a Jew will never marry a Nazi.
Why do most girls start acting high on nothing like retards and refer to it as 'being hyper'?
I know I'm coming across as a mysoginist, I just really can't stand it. Also, if a girl smiles at you a lot is that a sign she likes you or is it a polite way to get you to sod off?
Vanguard_Ex: Why do most girls start acting high on nothing like retards and refer to it as 'being hyper'?
I know I'm coming across as a mysoginist, I just really can't stand it. Also, if a girl smiles at you a lot is that a sign she likes you or is it a polite way to get you to sod off?
Well, if you ask them that retard question and then she smiles at you it's probably not because she likes you.
My ex-wife and I had a marathon record of six and a half hours. Jallil and I have a record of just short of four I think... Ask her for sure...
I just happen to have Quality and Quantity I guess... Normally a woman will dry up after so long, and if you haven't finished by that point, game over. Neither one of them ever dried up on me. So if you can pull marathon sessions like that, make sure she is cool with it...
I had a friend who said her boyfriend once did an 8 hours session... My brothers ex-wife barely lasted for the 45 minutes he usually lasted. So it is all about personal taste... Jallil hates it when I finish, even after four hours, and so did my ex. I can't imagine my bother's ex going for even an hour without pushing a guy off of her... So let them lead if you think they are getting close to done. Yeah, you may not get off, which sucks, but after a while you can hopefully build it up to the point where they are good in bed for long enough...
Owwww. My brains Ooooowwwwwwww!
On the sunglasses thing. I think women who wear those almost metallic looking visor ones (not the polysics ones) do so because Posh Spice does. However, I once tried on a pair of my sisters oversized sunglasses, & theyre actually really good for keeping the sun out your eyes (I broke that pair but have my own now). Also if you have a big forehead they fit the proportions of your head better & so dont look so strange. Oh, & no I havent tried any of my sisters other things on...I have my own makeup thankyou :-P
UltraJoe, that image contains one of the worst cameltoes I have ever seen. I cant shake the scene from The Weatherman now (couldnt find the actual scene :_( )
I think it's called mercy. In the words of a comic by Scott Kurtz: "Men control he world, women control the boobs." (my extension) "Boobs control the men."
smallharmlesskitten: how can you tell if a girl is a lesbian, boy have i managed to make that mistake twice
normally when she is kissing & having sex with another girl
also there is a girl i fancy and her current bf asked her out a week before i was going to she knows this and is still friends with me but i can't break them up. any ideas??
I have a friend, and she is the first girl i've ever had true feelings for. The problem is i think she knows i more then like her, but at the same time she likes my friend ( well i don't know if she likes him but she's slept with him ) and is showing no other signs then friendship towards me, so she wants to keep being friends. If i tell her how i feel and get rejected, would it be wierd if i still wanted to be her friend, because i would still enjoy her company, or would it just be awkward and uncomfortable for her? Should i go for it or just shut my mouth and still be her friend, because up to a certain point i could actually live with it.
Ahh...you ARE on. Busted Mobius. *laughs*