marvinn:

Also, how many of you are really short, and actually ENJOY being really short?

I'm only 5ft tall. But then again, my asian genes were against me from the start. It used to bother me much more but honestly, It's become so part of my life. Sure there are disadvantages (for my first year, I always missed by Buss stop because I thought I couldn't reach those Bus Strings)

The great thing about being short is that people will ALWAYS treat you like you're younger. For the most part, I get treated like a little sister a lot and people generally feel more protective over me. It's a nice safe haven.

That and being short means you can go out with a guy, X tall. X+5 tall and so on.

stompy:
What the hell are you on about? Really, what's that supposed to mean?

I'm asking about the rules for white guys dating indian women. Are there any? There seem to be, and I don't know what they are. Do you?

St Puglo:

I'm asking about the rules for white guys dating indian women. Are there any? There seem to be, and I don't know what they are. Do you?

I'm not ..exactly sure what you are looking for, nor do I know about Indian women but I can give you a perspective from a Hong Kong Girl's perspective. IMO It is actually much easier for there to be a caucasian guy to get an asian girl than it is the other way around (There are a bunch of youtube videos on this) and the reason why is because there is still a stigma to dating a westerner in a lot of asian countries. Case in point, 'prestigious' brands tend to opt for non asian models, or models that have some sort of mixed ethnicity. Sure a lot of these thoughts are not as blatantly racist as it used to be, but it still resinates within the society.

Hong Kong stars that grew up in "Canada, America or the UK", have a non chinese accent and tend to score better than others (*cough*Edison ass-chen*cough).
Granted, this does not apply to most of us but the stigma is still pretty deep within a lot of peoples minds whether they consciously realize this or not. The asian aesthetic tends to sway towards the "pale" and I think that is where most of this is from. That and the fact they colonized the shit out the area and people still see it as what it means to be luxurious.

Here's another :)

From your point of view, what do view to be a man's greatest strengths (if any). I.E. Which attribute (taller, stronger, more reckless w/e) do men have that you envy due to not having (if any)?

Why do some women in their youth, date much older men?

Thanks,

-Fox

St Puglo:

I'm asking about the rules for white guys dating indian women. Are there any? There seem to be, and I don't know what they are. Do you?

Are you referring to dating someone which goes against the intentions of their cultural ethics? (Dating someone who would normally be forced into an Arranged Marriage?)

CrashandBurn26:
I have been amazed at how little some guys understand girls.

I'm amazed how little most girls understand guys. Their "education" on men seems based exclusively on stereotypes and prejudice. That said, my first question is: Do you believe that inter-gender miscommunication is entirely the man's fault and that the women have nothing to learn?

My second question is more of a logic problem: Tricia marries Sam. Sam is a man. Sam abuses Tricia. Tricia divorces Sam. Tricia marries Joe. Joe is a man. Tricia abuses Joe, holding him responsible for Sam. Is Tricia justified? Do Tricia's actions make her second relationship better than her first? or worse?

MissDumpling:

IMO It is actually much easier for there to be a caucasian guy to get an asian girl than it is the other way around (There are a bunch of youtube videos on this)

That may be for the far eastern countries, but India seems to be a different beast. Arranged marriages are very common in India, so I guess I just assumed that dating would be highly structured and have lots of rules. Also, from the few painfully awkward dates I've been on with Indian women, I feel pretty confident that there were some unspoken cultural rules that were broken.

marvinn:

Are you referring to dating someone which goes against the intentions of their cultural ethics? (Dating someone who would normally be forced into an Arranged Marriage?)

Kind of. From what I understand, arranged marriages aren't so much forced anymore, but more of a whole family decision making process on who will be their darling little girl's mate. What I really want to know is if it is possible to date someone from a culture of arranged marriages without causing her to abandon her cultural ethics, and without alienating her from her family.

ForestFox:
Why do some women in their youth, date much older men?

Thanks,

-Fox

Confidence, most guys hopefully know who they are by that time and are no longer trying too hard to impress us, which (at least for me) is a huge turn off. also women apparently mature two years faster than men.

marvinn:
Here's another :)

From your point of view, what do view to be a man's greatest strengths (if any). I.E. Which attribute (taller, stronger, more reckless w/e) do men have that you envy due to not having (if any)?

Ive always wanted to be able to walk around shirtless in summer. Seriously, guys are far less bitchy and judgmental of each other and are less likely to hold a grudge over somthing stupid.

marvinn:

Equal Rights

Yeah, I agree, women are still not equal in the workforce, and with one company starting a payed Maternity scheme, the push for change is stronger then ever.

However

I think with all the media coverage and such on TV, sometimes it creates a bit too much hot air in the minds of some impressionable people, and they start to take on some warped ideas. Sometimes that's what the Feminist movement can appear to be, a straight up "get rid of men" policy. I do respect their thoughts and opinions, but sometimes can take it way too far.

Equal rights between the genders is an illusion anyways and beyond that it's probably unobtainable simply for biological reasons. That maternity thing for example. Why should a woman be allowed to miss large amounts of work or get special treatment in the months leading up to and following birth? Because they have a condition called pregnancy which they were either too irresponsible to prevent, too morally high horsed to have fixed, or simply because they wanted it? Is there even an equivalent similar situation for males?

Also women do have advantages in certain situations, particularly customer service. Most resturants have waitresses, hostesses, and female cashiers all because a woman has a different atmosphere about her. There are bars which hire more female bartenders than they do males purely for sex appeal as most of their business comes from men.

zebubble:
PSSS: Is it weird that I like a girl 2 years younger than me. (I'm 16, she's 14)

Legal answer: Yes, your a pedophile. Burn in hell.

Not so stupid answer: It's biologically correct but you'd be stupid to act on it, especially if you have any desire to be physical. And attraction knows no limits however.

Kais86:
Guys are more action oriented than Girls are, they are all about the communication, also many women value their own voice more than anyone elses if you make a big deal out of it it will become a big deal, look at what cartman's mom did in the southpark movie, my mom is the same way going on crusades because she think there is nothing wrong with me and the system is failing, when in fact the system id only failing because my memory was so excellent that I didn't need repetition until I came across calculus and then it became a matter of time.

School system I assume... yea that's a failure on all counts. Even with no child left behinds ingenious (sarcasm) 100% mandatory proficiency. My memory only functions on things that interest me, however I could always remember enough bits of information in all my subjects that my logic system could contrust the appropriate answers and methods for deriving those answers. I never ever studied for a test and still ended up with something like a 3.85 GPA and a composite score of 24 on my ACT (stupid math wasn't possible to solve without a calculator given the time; english was 25, reading and science were 26). That was a couple years ago though, the system failed so hard with me that I pracically deverted all 'system resources' to existential questions, mindless repetitive tasks, and supressing my disdain for the events taking place in the world around me.

Albino Ninja:
well I feel that for some reasons some guy need to claim their territory, which even though im a guy, makes no sense to me. I don't do that I am a nice guy and was brought up to treat others with dignity and respect. I am, as my friend and love interest has told me, that I am a nice guy that makes a good pillow to lay on. basically im comforting and I am a soft person. So being kind to and cuddling with a woman around your friends should be more than enough to let them know that you are serious about each other.

According to standard beliefs and the experiences of countless men... you have no chance with your love interest. I forget exactly how it was phrased but you're the 'comfort friend', she can come to you when she has problems but you're nothing more than a shoulder to cry on. Congratulations, would you like to try our $.99 special on misery?

Geoffrey42:
Sounds like a mixture of insecurity and immaturity. Assure him that he doesn't have anything to worry about, and then define the limits regarding personal space and public conduct. If he doesn't want to respect your limits, then he obviously doesn't respect you, and it is time to move on.

However, because I feel the need to play devil's advocate, this can also come off as an insult if you're not careful about it. Basically 'I don't feel comfortable/feel embarrassed with you touching me around other people'. Not that I disagree about limits but there's give and take in a relationship... stereotypically the take portion is absurdly large for the woman so they should be allowed to complain but meh...

And if I seem bitter, I'm naturally that way. I have no experience with women beyond friends. Though the instincts to search for a partner won't exactly go away, I've resolved myself to living the single life and have no interest in changing that.

I dont think many people (well no men thats for sure) would actually complain if women wanted to walk around shirtless, life would sure be more interesting thats for sure.

I consider myself to be a rather patient and understanding person but lately I have been on edge, I live in germany and work for a company for the time being untill august when my contract expires i live with 3....soon to be 4 girls in the same bloody house and I have to say they are the most needy people i have ever met (its like being trapped in medal of honour airbourne). My question is are 90% of women like this needy cause if so I might need to find a hacky slashy game to calm my nerves for the rest of my life or use liquid oxygen.

Sentios:

Equal rights between the genders is an illusion anyways and beyond that it's probably unobtainable simply for biological reasons. That maternity thing for example. Why should a woman be allowed to miss large amounts of work or get special treatment in the months leading up to and following birth? Because they have a condition called pregnancy which they were either too irresponsible to prevent, too morally high horsed to have fixed, or simply because they wanted it? Is there even an equivalent similar situation for males?

Well back on feminism, I think men should have rights to free time as well when offspring is born. But when you go mocking people for the free time they get when children are born, you enter a very touchy arena. Yes, I do think women should get a considerable amount of time off surrounding birth. Of course you can say 'they chose for it', but what is the other option; that they quit their job altogether and stay home 24/7? With economy of today, it's often not even a viable option, 1.5 job is needed to keep an household running. And I'm not talking about lots of luxury. The other option is not to have kids at all. And no way that interference in reproduction is gonna happen, ever. Except for China, and we see what kind of success *cough cough* it has been there.

Feminism isn't only about 'equal rights for women', it about 'equal rights for men' as well. It's still hard to get to care for your kids more as a man. Harder to get a part-time job. When your child is born you're lucky with one day off and then back to work. No time to bond a bit more with the kid. And hell, when parents get divorced, females always end up with the kids. I know a case where the mom was a 'career bitch' and the man gave up his job to care for the kids. And who got the kids? The female, because that's the default.
And that's just stupid.

5thman:

I'm amazed how little most girls understand guys. Their "education" on men seems based exclusively on stereotypes and prejudice. That said, my first question is: Do you believe that inter-gender miscommunication is entirely the man's fault and that the women have nothing to learn?

I think it is as much as guys only know stereo types about girls. This thread already proved it ;) Stereo types can only be whacked with experience and common sense.

Another question! When you're ever going to have kids, how would you arrange jobs and responsibilities between you and your partner?

Aliencrash:
I dont think many people (well no men thats for sure) would actually complain if women wanted to walk around shirtless, life would sure be more interesting thats for sure.

I consider myself to be a rather patient and understanding person but lately I have been on edge, I live in germany and work for a company for the time being untill august when my contract expires i live with 3....soon to be 4 girls in the same bloody house and I have to say they are the most needy people i have ever met (its like being trapped in medal of honour airbourne). My question is are 90% of women like this needy cause if so I might need to find a hacky slashy game to calm my nerves for the rest of my life or use liquid oxygen.

Should for-go the liquid oxygen and just get some liquid nitrogen... and the poor it on the needy ones, maybe it'll be like training dogs: enough punishment and they'll catch on to stop doing that, though the cops will probably catch on too and probably far sooner.

rayxofxsunshine:

AndyMacK:

[quote]
3)Are you really, really sure you can't read our minds?

I know I can't, but on a deeper note...

Women and Men have one basic difference, I like to think, and it's the way they think. There's some picture out there on the net that shows a guy and girl switchboard. The guy's has one switch (on and off) and the girl's has hundreds of switches and knobs. It's been my experience that women tend to think more about details and outcomes and variables, whereas guys tend to think linearly from one problem to the next - the we'll cross that bridge when we get to it mentality. Women on the other hand have mapped out the various routes to said bridge, discovered whether it's wood or stone, and printed out an emergency plan in case of falling off said bridge. It's nothing against either sex, it just means women think differently than men. So woman to woman relations will be mostly about the "in-between the lines" - body language, diction, intonation, while man to man will be more about what they said exactly.

Basically, women have an easier time picking up on what you DON'T say, not to mention the WAY you say something. You say more than you think with the simplest answer. But, since we base our inferences on current knowledge, there's the possibility of reading your diction to mean something the way a *woman* would think rather than a man.

And, the worries of insecurity are the most universal worries ever, so no matter what, they get popular responses.

*edit* note to self - open tags go before close tags, dummy.

OK, I'm a guy and I have hundreds of switches and knobs, I react to what people DON'T say and the WAY they say it. I spend ALOT of time mapping out different routes to cross a bridge and whenether it's made out of stone and rock. Does this make me a girl? NO.

You seem to assume that girls are more sensitive than guys. They aren't. They are just taught to show their feelings, wheras guys are taught to hide theirs. There is something called HSP (which stands for Highly Sensitive Person) that every fifth person are, boy AND girl. It makes you more reactive, easier to hurt, and so forth. To summarize, you are a more complicated person if you are an HSP.

Useless side-note: I was rather hurt by your post, since the way you wrote made me feel like I can't be the person I am.

EDIT: Forgotten letters, sorry.

St Puglo:

stompy:
What the hell are you on about? Really, what's that supposed to mean?

I'm asking about the rules for white guys dating indian women. Are there any? There seem to be, and I don't know what they are. Do you?

Well, really, why does ethnicity have anything do with it? You like her/ wanna ask her out? Ask here out then. Hell, I don't see why you need to ask whether it's ok to date an Indian woman or not; women are women, skin colour (hopefully) shouldn't be a factor.

The only difference that could be there is that if she, or her parents, are from India, then they'll be a lot stricter when it comes to letting here out. What I'm trying to say is that they'll be a lot more hesitant, on average, when it comes to letting their daughter go out with a guy, let alone a non-Indian guy. But, this is just based on my experiences in an Indian family in Australia, so, yeh...

If you wouldn't mind, could I know the context for this question? Seems strange, at least to me...

St Puglo:
Kind of. From what I understand, arranged marriages aren't so much forced anymore, but more of a whole family decision making process on who will be their darling little girl's mate. What I really want to know is if it is possible to date someone from a culture of arranged marriages without causing her to abandon her cultural ethics, and without alienating her from her family.

It all depends on the family. My parents are migrants, so for them, if my sister was to marry a Caucasian, it would be kinda hard for them to accept that he isn't Indian, and thus has a different culture, different religion, different values, different, well, my parents would find it hard to relate. They couldn't bring the guy to religious festivals, and they themselves would be orchestrated from traditional Indian customs/traditions (this would be something for a minority, and I'm not gonna go into this).

But, if it were my daughter, I'm sure I'd be able to adjust and be happy for my daughter for finding her soul mate, what with me being pretty much a white man in brown skin (uh, I'm referring to the fact that I'm more Australian then Indian, being born brought up in Australia).

... Uh, sorry to double post mods.

Girlysprite:
Well back on feminism, I think men should have rights to free time as well when offspring is born. But when you go mocking people for the free time they get when children are born, you enter a very touchy arena. Yes, I do think women should get a considerable amount of time off surrounding birth. Of course you can say 'they chose for it', but what is the other option; that they quit their job altogether and stay home 24/7? With economy of today, it's often not even a viable option, 1.5 job is needed to keep an household running. And I'm not talking about lots of luxury. The other option is not to have kids at all. And no way that interference in reproduction is gonna happen, ever. Except for China, and we see what kind of success *cough cough* it has been there.

Feminism isn't only about 'equal rights for women', it about 'equal rights for men' as well. It's still hard to get to care for your kids more as a man. Harder to get a part-time job. When your child is born you're lucky with one day off and then back to work. No time to bond a bit more with the kid. And hell, when parents get divorced, females always end up with the kids. I know a case where the mom was a 'career bitch' and the man gave up his job to care for the kids. And who got the kids? The female, because that's the default.
And that's just stupid.

There's always abortion... yea I know here it comes, "That's murder!" "It's against my beliefs" "but then how would I collect child support, baby's daddy makes the big bucks". The way I see it, you choose between going to term or having a job (if the leave would go beyond your vacation time), you can't have both nor should you be allowed to have both. I have no problems with working mothers, I have problems with 'well see ya all in 2 months' and I find paid maternity leave to be atrocious, by god I better get at least 2 months of vacation time at any company that has paid maternity leave.

I work in fast food making minimum wage, and a female coworker got back $2000+ in her tax return because she had a kid... no way in hell she worked 5 times more hours than I did over the course of a year so of course she got free money in that. Is that not enough? Why should the people, the government, and businesses have to pander to people who chose to have kids. Is it to help those who can't make it? Then why are they allowed to attempt to raise a child if they can't provide? Besides that there are far too many default insta-gibs for women. Child custody, child support, and abortion all top those lists. A man has to prove beyond the shadow of doubt that the woman is an unfit mother to win custody, I've never heard of a man receiving child support much less not being ordered to pay it even if they are bad off themselves and backed child support could only be seen as a reimbursement for the mother's losses as it's usually too late to improve the child's life any, and a man has no say what so ever on abortions despite the fact he'll be expected to take responsibity.

Honestly I'm growing quite tired of it all...

I have read this thread over many many pages and have signed up now for the sole purpose of telling Darth Mobius what an asshole he is.

So, here goes:
Darth Mobius - you are a fucking arse.

That basically covers it. If you don't know why I said this, then simply read over your multitude of comments preceding this post. You are what's wrong with the world. Gah! So much hate built up over so little time; I didn't even think it was possible!

Congratulations on your first, and probably only post ever in these forums. For everyone else, there's private messages for that garbage nobody else wants to hear.

Now back to the Q & A

Dr. Seven:
OK, I'm a guy and I have hundreds of switches and knobs, I react to what people DON'T say and the WAY they say it. I spend ALOT of time mapping out different routes to cross a bridge and whenether it's made out of stone and rock. Does this make me a girl? NO.

You seem to assume that girls are more sensitive than guys. They aren't. They are just taught to show their feelings, wheras guys are taught to hide theirs. There is something called HSP (which stands for Highly Sensitive Person) that every fifth person are, boy AND girl. It makes you more reative, easier to hurt, and so forth. To summarize, you are a more complicated person if you are an HSP.

Useless side-note: I was rather hurt by your post, since the way you wrote made me feel like I can't be the person I am.

Meh even I could qualify as an HSP (at least to some extent), however my reactions to events are skewed towards cynicism and anger regardless of how I might feel about something. My highly gift - Genius IQ (not like I can ever find a good test for it) further complicates things I'm afraid though so I can't say for sure...

recalcitrance:
I have read this thread over many many pages and have signed up now for the sole purpose of telling Darth Mobius what an asshole he is.

So, here goes:
Darth Mobius - you are a fucking arse.

That basically covers it. If you don't know why I said this, then simply read over your multitude of comments preceding this post. You are what's wrong with the world. Gah! So much hate built up over so little time; I didn't even think it was possible!

Whatever you may think of him, I suggest you get more on-topic with your posts, lest you face the banhammer. And welcome to The Escapist.

And Sentios, you raise a good point. Feminists consistently bitch about not having equal rights, yet when a man wants to raise his own child, the women will be up in arms about a man having custody of the child (unless of course if the mother is a junkie).

Edit: More important members, Mobius? I could understand more renown, those who stand out more, but I fail to see how one user can be more important than another. Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but from where I stand (the cold, abandoned corner, where else?... **but Queensland**), it sounds somewhat... I dunno. Would you care to explain?

Edit Edit: Actually, you know what, don't bother.

Asking women for advice on how to date women is like asking used car salesmen on advice on how to buy used cars, imo. Not very smart. :S

To answer an oft asked question: The reason women go for dumb musclehead outlaws is much the same reason your porn collection isn't full of ugly fat women with really great personalities. That reason is to many people they're just not exciting. They're also don't fall head over heels to fulfill the girls slightest whim and are hence something of a challenge.

Personally, I like to pinch my girlfriend's ass in public, because it says to her that I would rather be doing something more, if it wasn't in public. I don't think that it's particularly violating personal space or anything like that. It's just a little bit of fun, giving her a nice message, and she has fun trying to dodge me :P

Kais86:
I'm 5'9" which is kinda short and no I don't enjoy it at all everyone automatically assumes they can kick the crap out of you when you are shorter and don't hesitate to spout off about it, thankfully in my group of friends I am no where near to being the shortest guy, so I don't have to listen to all of the short jokes.

EDIT: I don't envy you because of your hair as mine is full and probably will be with me for my entire life since even my grandparents have almost all of their hair.

You can't sulk. I'm most likely gonna be stuck as a 5'7" all my life... I'm screwed. Weird thing is, I'm still thought of as being 16-18, even though I'm not even 15 yet.

Sentios:

Dr. Seven:
OK, I'm a guy and I have hundreds of switches and knobs, I react to what people DON'T say and the WAY they say it. I spend ALOT of time mapping out different routes to cross a bridge and whenether it's made out of stone and rock. Does this make me a girl? NO.

You seem to assume that girls are more sensitive than guys. They aren't. They are just taught to show their feelings, wheras guys are taught to hide theirs. There is something called HSP (which stands for Highly Sensitive Person) that every fifth person are, boy AND girl. It makes you more reative, easier to hurt, and so forth. To summarize, you are a more complicated person if you are an HSP.

Useless side-note: I was rather hurt by your post, since the way you wrote made me feel like I can't be the person I am.

Meh even I could qualify as an HSP (at least to some extent), however my reactions to events are skewed towards cynicism and anger regardless of how I might feel about something. My highly gift - Genius IQ (not like I can ever find a good test for it) further complicates things I'm afraid though so I can't say for sure...

Maybe I should clarify myself?

Kais86:
Why do females let things build up, for example say I'm doing something dumb and it's making my girl angry, and she won't come over and tell me to stop, until it has gotten on her last nerve and at that point she tells me I'm sleeping on the couch tonight and she isn't going to make food anymore. Why didn't she just tell me I was doing something stupid that pissed her off?

Wow, and I've thought girls always say what's on their mind..
Pay attention to those subtle signs. Some girls don't feel comfortable telling you that you're doing something wrong. Usually, when girls are ticked off they move around aimlessly, look out the window for no reason, things like that. Some girls just don't want to rant about what you're doing bad for fear that they'll sound too motherly. And when you behave like a hag, chances are you'll end up single...