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Asskickery distilled; no, its not falcon punch

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1)   11 May 2008 11:04
Ultrajoe
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1393
Joined: 24 Apr 2008

Asskickery;

1) the act of kicking ass, taking names ect "putting a rhino in a nursery is sheer asskickey"
2) The level of kicking applied to one ass "that much asskickery is comparable to a rocket launcher concealed in a urinal"
3) a meta-substance generated or possibly the cause of kicking of ass. "dude, that reeked of asskickery!"

Distill;

1) condense, reducing to a more compact state "The acid distills at a specific temperature"
2) Purify: purify: remove impurities from, separate through the process of distillation; "purify the water"
3) Concentrate: increase to potency or quantity per area unit. "the water was condensed to high pressure"

Asskickery Distilled;

1) An act of asskickery so potent it hurts mortals to look upon. "That truck full of naphtha hitting the unstable plasma reactor was asskickery distilled!"
2) Asskickery done with such finesse it seems as if nothing has really happened at all. "He just ghosted 3 guys and i didn't even see him!"
3) Ultrajoe "Ultrajoe just made me read all this stuff leading up to a crap self promotion"

Ok, there is a point to this other than to have all you sexy women fall upon me (more than usual i mean, don't all rush) and it is to speak to you of my sheer asskickery, my day of pure, unfettered distilled asskickery, i can honestly say i kicked more ass than jesus in attack mode.

I kicked more ass than a ninja in a nunnery.

I kicked more ass than a bullet train in your colon.

I kicked so much ass i made your grandchildren wince.

to explain, i had a kick-ass day, it was the weekend, and as you do i started by playing some online games, starting with CS, the asskicking began with 4 KILLS FROM ONE GRENADE, sheer asskickery

After prompting from my brother, i played some xbox live halo 3 in which i got a 3 MAN HEADSHOT KILL

with my day so awesome already, and it was not even 11am, i walked my dog, and FOUND $50

ready to ejaculate from sheer asskicking awesome, i realized this day was the epitome of rule, so i decided to tell someone about it (not you, there's more to come yet)

So i go to tell a friend, and when i get to his house (lives next door, awesome) it turns out he has won tickets to a concert! and he's got extra! awesome!

ok, 2pm and the asskickery kept coming, rapidly distilling into a pure form... my torrent for the complete FMA collection was complete! (minor asskick, but icing on the still growing asskick cake)

Upon the arrival of 4pm (not much for two hours) ib was lounging around when i get a message that my ex has broken an arm! Asskick extreme! the day rounded out nicely when, at a party i got the number of a chick with boobs bigger than my asskickery at the time!

now, its tomorrow, and the asskick has settled down... but i had to tell someone, so there it is, my life has peaked, theres no point going any further, my life is complete... asskickery distilled...

possibly this was inappropriate to spill all over the internet, but i had to tell someone, it was awesome.

so yeah, to add reason to this thread, what are your moments of asskickery distilled, prefferably non-game related, but thats fine too.

2)   11 May 2008 22:57
Sib
Press Junketeer
Posts: 402
Joined: 22 Dec 2007

Very nice asskickery, not quite epic but still very nice :)

My only time of epic asskickery today was going 42kills to 10deaths in a team deathmatch on cod4, hehe my entire team only had 600 points in total (60kills)

3)   11 May 2008 23:08
knumpify
Beat Writer
Posts: 131
Joined: 15 Feb 2008

great leaps and strides in the fields of ass-kickery

4)   11 May 2008 23:27
theklng
Anonymous Source
Posts: 8
Joined: 1 May 2008

irony: last friday i kicked so much ass while in town that when i woke up the next morning i had a female harem sleeping in my room. worked up over this asskicking triumph, i decided to take a wank.

5)   11 May 2008 23:28
Mstrswrd
Press Junketeer
Posts: 362
Joined: 2 Mar 2008

You, my friend (Ultrajoe), have outdone all of us in the amount of asskickery you had in one day. Unfortunately, I have never had much, or, rather, any situations in which my day/life was asskickingly good.

6)   12 May 2008 00:41
Duck Sandwich
Press Junketeer
Posts: 434
Joined: 13 Dec 2007

One day, I stayed after school for Ultimate Frisbee practice. I couldn't get a ride home (my house and school aren't in the same town and the two towns are about a 15 minute drive from each other), so I went for a walk. For your average Joe, this might take about 3 and a half - 4 hours. I got home in 2 and a half.

Another day, long before that, I tried my hand at kickboxing at a dojo. (I was taking kickboxing in gym class at school, and one of the days school was closed, so the sensei invited the class to come to his dojo that day. I was the ONLY one from my class that went.) While there aren't really any moments in particular that stand out, everything about that class kicked ass. I had a hell of a workout. When I left, I had the most awesome feeling I had ever experienced.

7)   12 May 2008 03:20
ThaBenMan
Muckraker
Posts: 350
Joined: 6 Mar 2008

Ultrajoe:
So i go to tell a friend, and when i get to his house (lives next door, awesome) it turns out he has won tickets to a concert! and he's got extra! awesome!

Until you found out - it was a ticket for HANNAH MONTANA *DUN DUN DUN*

Heheh, jk. What was it really for, btw?

Anyway, my day of ass-kickery proceeded thusly -

We ran out of stuff to do at work, so my friend and I were allowed to leave early. We went over to another friend's house and played PS2 games for awhile, until my friend from work got a call from this guy who needed some work done on his car (my friend is a huge car nut). I went with him to help. All we had to do was put a new door on his truck (which was kind of a pain, but whatever). When we were done, the guy paid us $150, way more than we were expecting (but apparently less than the estimate the guy got at a garage)! So we went and had a nice dinner out.

8)   12 May 2008 04:42
jim_doki
Press Junketeer
Posts: 386
Joined: 29 Mar 2008

my favorite epic arse kickery (thats right, im not kicking donkeys north americans)
probably when i was working Nightfill stacking shelves, there were four of us and 2000 cartons to pack (the average filler packs 250 in a night).
we thought we were going home at two, but thanks to my and my team's epicness, we were done by 12:30, only half an hour over time

 
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