To whome it may concern:
bannana bannana bannana
sincerely
shirley

I have a screwdriver.
It's a Phillips-head.

The worst kind...

The rat, the cat and Lovell, our dog, all rule England under the hog.

Extra super kudos points for anyone who knows what I'm referencing. I'd be very surprised (and impressed) if anyone does.

"Rise and shine Mr Freeman, rise and smell the ashes.."

All the world is but a cake. So take a piece, but not too much.

Too much, too much, too much, too much, too much....

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from members, it will be our policy to keep all members well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T)

We are trying to give our members more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please see your Duke. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our Vice Dukes are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle.

Members who don't take S.H.I.T will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMERGENCY EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EXTRA ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T). Since our Vice Dukes took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already. If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).

For members who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T).

Hugo Weaving for Riddler in Batman 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vampire cows smell almost as bad as purple pudding, luckily it isn't friday.

The person next to you has secretly been stealing change from you for the last 6 years...also, they've posted naked pictures of you on the internet.

Whatever you do...do not look behind you! It's bad and will kill you in a suitably graphic fashion.

A guitar is the perfect weapon to kill zombies with.

Just remember kids if somebody tells you to do drugs thier called waddle doos not waddle donts.

danny departed,what is that a leper? It looks like a Native American leper...that's not flaming I just want to know what it is and why it wants my soul. Jokes in it though I don't have one.

Here's one of my own sayings:

An optimist thinks the glass is half full. A pessimist thinks the glass is half empty. A cynic thinks that it doesn't matter whether the glass is half full or half empty, because he's pretty sure someone pissed in the glass.

Psychochef:
Here's one of my own sayings:

An optimist thinks the glass is half full. A pessimist thinks the glass is half empty. A cynic thinks that it doesn't matter whether the glass is half full or half empty, because he's pretty sure someone pissed in the glass.

and a glutton drinks it regardless

P.S. is that Tom Bergeron?

Fair fight? Pah, I have a bag of toenails, I clearly have the advantage!

lo, my child, bathe in the brilliance of my corn based glory, for it is pig friendly, stays crunchy in milk, and keeps the wretched flying monkies out of garden!

the monopoly guy:

Psychochef:
Here's one of my own sayings:

An optimist thinks the glass is half full. A pessimist thinks the glass is half empty. A cynic thinks that it doesn't matter whether the glass is half full or half empty, because he's pretty sure someone pissed in the glass.

and a glutton drinks it regardless

P.S. is that Tom Bergeron?

Heh. Not bad! :P I'd have gone for hedonist, but different strokes and all that.

And no, it's not a quote I've heard attributed to anybody. It's just a saying I have.

In the immortal words of Peter Griffin

"Testicles! That is all"

Psychochef:

And no, it's not a quote I've heard attributed to anybody. It's just a saying I have.

I meant your avatar...it looks familier

and hedonismbot from futurama came to mind when I wrote that

and a hedonist wants the glass to be completely full and for it to be his

"Anyone wana buy my shirt? Come on. Buy my shirt? Il trade my shirt for a toasted cheese?"

I, good sir, have read your comment and do aspire to articulate clearly that I belive that you are a knob.

Post Script: IT'S PENUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! IT'S PENUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! IT'S PENUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! IT'S PENUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! IT'S PENUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! IT'S PENUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! IT'S PENUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! IT'S PENUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! IT'S PENUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! IT'S PENUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! IT'S PENUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! IT'S PENUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!

( my freind is allergic to penuts. Lol)

BOOM SHACKA LACKA HOY!

The tank went by like ROOOSH...

No it sounded more like RAAAAAHHHHZZIBBZIBBBBAAARAH MY LEG RADA

Do you want me to get my screwdriver out?

"Alright con-stabbable."
"I get it. It's because I stabbed him."

Suck it

What did you say?

sorry, suck it SIR.

That's better

If a dragon and Solid Snake fought, what time does the train arrive in St. Louis?

I once won a knife fight with nothing but a sharpie marker.

the monopoly guy:
danny departed,what is that a leper? It looks like a Native American leper...that's not flaming I just want to know what it is and why it wants my soul. Jokes in it though I don't have one.

hehe i'm not too sure, it's my xbox live pic and just picked it cause it looked creepy :)

CartoonHead:
The rat, the cat and Lovell, our dog, all rule England under the hog.

Extra super kudos points for anyone who knows what I'm referencing. I'd be very surprised (and impressed) if anyone does.

The famous satirical rhyme by William Collingbourne, a Tudor agent, tacked up to St. Paul's Cathedral in July 1484.:

The cat was William Catesby. The Rat was Richard Ratcliffe. The dog was Francis, Viscount Lovell ( Lovell's emblem was a talbot, a now-extinct breed of hunting hound). The Hog was Richard III ( his emblem was a white boar). The couplet refers to the fact that this hated trio of men enjoyed enormous power and influence in the reign of the equally disliked King Richard III.

conqueror Kenny:
Do you want me to get my screwdriver out?

"Alright con-stabbable."
"I get it. It's because I stabbed him."

"What's my name?"
"Uh...Psycho Paul?"
"That's right, Psycho Paul - not Reasonable Paul, Psycho Paaauuuul!"

snuffler:

CartoonHead:
The rat, the cat and Lovell, our dog, all rule England under the hog.

The famous satirical rhyme by William Collingbourne, a Tudor agent, tacked up to St. Paul's Cathedral in July 1484.:

The cat was William Catesby. The Rat was Richard Ratcliffe. The dog was Francis, Viscount Lovell ( Lovell's emblem was a talbot, a now-extinct breed of hunting hound). The Hog was Richard III ( his emblem was a white boar). The couplet refers to the fact that this hated trio of men enjoyed enormous power and influence in the reign of the equally disliked King Richard III.

Extra super kudos points for you!
Impressed with your historical knowledge, I tip my hat to you sir.

EDIT: Actually, seeing the wording of "tacked up to St. Paul's Cathedral in July 1484" and the alteration of the words: "lampooning poem" to "satirical rhyme" (at least change the sentence structure!) I think you did wiki it. Hat back on head, Kudos revoked.

Video game companies never do what I want. The new Halo novel, which I've been looking forward to, is going to be about "Grey Team" a group of three Spartans vaguely mentioned in Ghosts of Onyx and even more vaguely mentioned in the Fall of Reach, instead of continuing the story from Ghosts of Onyx.

Let me put that in a different way: Bungie is going to introduce three new characters that no one has ever really heard of before, to recount a mission that doesn't even matter because it takes place before Halo 3, instead of continuing the story of characters that you have known and grown to love since the very first Halo book, a story that takes place AFTER Halo 3, meaning it has all the meaning and beauty a Halo fan could hope for.

Bungie pulled this shit with the last book, Contact Harvest, but I forgave them because they had one more book before their contract with Tor ended and Harvest confirmed Johnson was an original Spartan. This crappy book that no one could possibly care about (that isn't written by Nylund or a Bungie employee, instead by some jackass who will never ever experience the touch of a woman, could very well be the last Halo book.

Ahem.

Lucasarts, after successfully ending their most successful franchise, Battlefront, for who knows how long, and making the sequel to one of their most successful games, Knights of the Old Republic, a complete pile of failure and stupid, has decided to make a game set between Episodes III and IV. The game will follow Starkiller, a name that has been thrown around the EU like a football since fat, bald, and depressing men realized that Luke's original last name was "Starkiller." This game will essentially mock known establishments of the Star Wars universe by allowing an apprentice to lift TIE fighters in the air as if they weighed no more than a dried up Twinkie. This game will essentially bring no new innovative elements to a Star Wars game, since it is basically just Jedi Knight set in a different time frame. Oh, and it will, despite the fact that you're Vader's apprentice, allow you to choose between the light or dark side. The main character will also die, assuming you follow the light side, a death that no one in the galaxy will ever care about, and the sad, uncreative sap will be completely forgotten by anyone else who decides to add an entry into the expanded universe.

Oh, and Lucasarts also decided that their fialure with KOTOR II wasn't their own fault, but the devlopers'. They have since fired Obsidian and hired Bioware to make an MMOG based in the KOTOR time-line. This will almost guarantee that the story behind the "True Sith" and Revan's adventure into the Unknown Regions will never be told properly, and if Bioware proved anything with Mass Effect, they will probably copy the plot and gameplay from a previous MMOG.

"If I enter Connecticut, I'm entering every state Connecticut's ever been with"

yahtzee review coment threads are like an entirely different forum all together. I literally laughed my arse off seeing that the first 4 comments on his Age of COnan review all ersulted in bans.

smilely47:
yahtzee is great, i love his videos yahtzee yahtzee yahtzee yahtzee woooooooooooooooooo!! lololoolololololololololololololololoololololololololoololololololololoolololololololololololololololllololololololoollololololollololoollolololololololololololoklololololololololoooollololololololololoooooooooooooool!!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! i having so much fun riding my lion aroud the candy cane forest woooooooooooooo!! go billy go!

I thought the Escapist was a safe retreat from this stuff....but at least it stays in those threads.

I eat babies.

I want my baby back baby back...riiibs. Chilliiiiiii baby back ribs.