Ok, let's take the classic Zombie Invasion.

Now, it's going to have to get infected somewhere; so we'll assume it's either
A ) a Government Lab
B ) Water, Air purifying plant
C ) Somewhere on the streets
D ) A morgue

That covers most of the origins.

Now
A ) Any Scientist would see the potential in this and experiment. Whoops...lots.
B ) A large inbuilt facility with potential to infect a city. Whoops...lots.
C ) Hundreds of people go "missing" per day. Whoops...lots.
D ) A morgue. Nom Nom Nom. Whoops...lots.

Removing the Head.
Has anyone ever tried to remove the head from a target? I'm guessing no one here, apart from maybe Fondant ( :) ). It's not easy at all. Even with a shotgun at point blank, you still have to pull the trigger. Not easy when your brain's screaming "This can't be happening!", see Shaun of the Dead.

Ok, so there's now lots of Zombies milling towards you; and you really can't bring yourself to tear the entire face off someone you've never met. So... you get in touch with the Police.

The Police don't have the power to do anything, so in come the National Guard. That alerts the Press, who want candid photos. Whoops...more infected.

The National Guard want this covered up, so news blanket hits. But words will have leaked out, that means Terror! Look at how the Floods in South America caught America off-guard.

So, we're looking at Heavy Ordinance now. And that's gonna have to get past the U.N. Now France and Germany are not gonna vote for an Extermination Squad, are they? And Arabia/Russia will want to know what's ACTUALLY going on...

So, we've got Worldwide Distrust, Heavy Ordinance, Press Blanket and a growing number of unstoppable Zombies. What actually caused it? Is it E-Numbers? Is it Global Warming? Is it the American Super Soldier programme?

So, the CIA is next; and they're job is to protect the U.S. at all costs. So, enter Agent Orange.

No more zombies.

But wait...If Bird Flu and Bovine Spongiform Encaplopathy can jump species, what about Zombie-ness?

A single rabbit breaks free from the Napalm strike and heads into it's burrow. Nom Nom Nom.

The rabbits attack a fox.

The fox attacks a raccoon.

The raccoon attacks a bear.

The bear wanders into the nearby town. At which point it's blasted to pieces by all the NRA.

Utter panic. The NRA bunker up and blast anything.

Not scary huh? And that's from one Zombie.

Watch most Zombie films and there's very little time given to the Undead. It's usually about the Humans trapped and slowly losing their minds. Day of the Triffids did this very well; it doesn't matter how slow the Zombies move, it's how fast panic moves. Orson Wells nearly brought America to a standstill from a radio broadcast.

And if you still don't think that's possible today...you remember the kids caught playing Halo with the Hookers? Was on Sky, BBC and most of the newspapers.

Total fabrication. Check it up and see. :)

You have great faith in people OP...

i don't, thats why i own 567 shotguns.

The initial zombies aren't the threat its the unknown infected who have bee n infected but don't realize it who then create more unknown infected when they zombify, and no one will catch on until its too late because the smart guy always dies horribly before he can explain this problem to captain action-hero and his love interest. and BAM! Zombies take over.

Perhaps we are thinking about this in the wrong way. Can any of you honestly say that the world would be worse off if it were temporarily ruled by zombies? Think about it. If 85% of the world's population were whiped out, only the strongest, and smartest 15% would remain. If natural selection holds true, the survivors that re-took the planet would procreate a race of genetic supermen that would elevate humanity to a level it has never achieved before.If anything we should be facilitating the zombie apocalypse.

I don't mean to rain on your apocalypse parade, but you COULD just level Los Angeles with a 20 kilo-ton tactical nuclear payload =D Of course, this would require you being in charge of a police state where the cars drive YOU and the TV's watch YOU...

(Note, I have nothing against Los Angeles. I actually quite like the city...my solution is only the lazy solution =D)

-Arsundiil

hcselaw:
Perhaps we are thinking about this in the wrong way. Can any of you honestly say that the world would be worse off if it were temporarily ruled by zombies? Think about it. If 85% of the world's population were whiped out, only the strongest, and smartest 15% would remain. If natural selection holds true, the survivors that re-took the planet would procreate a race of genetic supermen that would elevate humanity to a level it has never achieved before.If anything we should be facilitating the zombie apocalypse.

Natural selection doesn't like guns, and neither do zombies. Therefore, the surviving 15% will be the ones holding the guns, not the genetically different ones (though I hope Gigantor makes it).

H0ncho:
Stuff

Where did the original 1 Zombie come from? Is this source incapable of infecting more people? Why is there only 1 Zombie anyway?

Lads and ladies, you know what this means.

When the zombie 'apocalypse' arrives, it's gonna be first-come-first-serve if you want to kill a zombie.

The_root_of_all_evil:
The National Guard want this covered up...

Now France and Germany are not gonna vote for an Extermination Squad...

So, the CIA is next; and they're job is to protect the U.S. at all costs. So, enter Agent Orange.

Watch most Zombie films and there's very little time given to the Undead. It's usually about the Humans trapped and slowly losing their minds. Day of the Triffids did this very well; it doesn't matter how slow the Zombies move, it's how fast panic moves. Orson Wells nearly brought America to a standstill from a radio broadcast.

And if you still don't think that's possible today...you remember the kids caught playing Halo with the Hookers? Was on Sky, BBC and most of the newspapers.

Total fabrication. Check it up and see. :)

1) Why cover it up?
2) Don't need to vote at the UN for internal matters
3) Agent Orange is a herbicide and defoliant, i think you mean Napalm - which wouldn't remove the head and thus quite possibly wouldn't kill a zombie - though i guess if you burn off all the tendons it can't move - its probably dead
4) Totally agree with the points about panic...

... Stop ruining our fun!

Nah, but in seriousness, it's a good explanation.

I must say I find the underlying theme of anti-zombie bigotry in this thread simply horrendous. I had thought we were all civilized, intellectual, 21st century people removed from such unwarranted hatreds.

For years zombies have endured inferior positions in the workplace (Yes, I understand your applying for the position of - DEAR GOD IT'S A ZOMBIE!!!). For years zombies have endured without the right vote (if you'll just give us your proof of resi - DEAR GOD IT'S A ZOMBIE!!!). Zombies don't even enjoy the ability to worship freely (congregation please rise. Dear God - IT'S A ZOMBIE!!!)

And here we intelligent beings stand, not trying to think of ways to bring an end to the long held zombie stigmas or ways of bringing equal rights for zombies. No, we stand here discussing the most effective way to massacre any zombie who may have the gall to visit one of our cities! And that's when we're not judging their value by how fast they can run. They're not slabs of meat!

Let the cry ring throughout the streets! Zombie Rights! Zombie Rights!

Usige Beatha:
I think the real threat of a Zombie invasion isn't the Zombies them selves but the world-wide panic and chaos that would ensue once Zombies have been confirmed.

Lets say they do find some zombies in LA and word get out of their existence *ether through the media or the massive evacuation or what ever* then I can almost garentee that there will be mass paranoia and panic in cities like New York, Boston, Houston,and Chicago. There may even be mass riots and killings as people hurry to get food and supplies for an invasion that may be easily contained.

The only place I think Zombies would be able to manifest into a major threat is if they appeared in Africa or some other third world country without the ability to control them.

shit. i hope that doesnt happen. cuz i live in houston. but the good thing is lots of hicks and people afraid of being victims of anything so lots of people have guns or weapons. but if an outbreak happens in new orleans just expect them to seal off the city and make the excuse of "anybody could be infected and we dont want to run the risk of the infection escaping" while they watch the people fight for survival. but i guess katrina killed all the weak people there so they would survive. but about the public finding out about the zombies people would know immediatly what they're looking at because most people have seen zombie movies at least classic ones. so everybody will know what they're seeing when they see a zombie bighting somebody. also they'll imediatly shoot for the head because thats whats in the movies. but idk if zombie movies dont exist in ur zombie world. but they do in mine.

I couldn't help but laugh at "evacuate LA." Totally impossible, just wanted to say that.

Of course if its purely bite-transferred it won't get fair, its gotta be air-borne or in the water or something, then only a hand full of immune humans are left in the world.

First, about panic: I agree, it will cause panic, but this can actually be beneficial. The only way an initial zombie attack can spread is if each zombie infects atleast two people before it is destroyed, and seeing as humans' fighting capabilities are superior to that of zombies a populace which knows about the threat of zombies should be able to arm themselves and kill any eventual zombies before they infect too many. A scared and armed populace would, as I said, probably kill you for sneezing, and any zombie or anyone exhibiting abnormal behaviour would probably be killed by the mob.

Let me stress that: The only way a zombie attack can spread is if each zombie infects atleast two people before it is destroyed. So if people actually knows about the threat of zombies, well - there should be little to fear. We are much more capable than them, the only way they can destroy a city is because people are scared and don't know what to do with them.

Now, can we evacuate LA? Maybe, maybe not. But it should be easy to isolate the relatively small amount of zombies that a 24-hour infection cycle would create from the rest of the populace. They would be massively outnumbered for a long time.

Has anyone ever tried to remove the head from a target? I'm guessing no one here, apart from maybe Fondant ( :) ). It's not easy at all. Even with a shotgun at point blank, you still have to pull the trigger. Not easy when your brain's screaming "This can't be happening!", see Shaun of the Dead.

Ok, so there's now lots of Zombies milling towards you; and you really can't bring yourself to tear the entire face off someone you've never met. So... you get in touch with the Police.

The Police don't have the power to do anything, so in come the National Guard. That alerts the Press, who want candid photos. Whoops...more infected.

1. Assault rifles can damage a mans body sufficiently to destroy zombies with a few shots.
2. People, when under stress usually shoot too much, not too little. When you perceive your life as being in danger, most people are more than willing to shoot.
3. The police have the power to do something: If there are not so many zombies, they have plenty of training when it comes to subduing maniacs and crazy people without, say, getting bitten. In fact I would assume police training is excellent in this regard. If there are many zombies, they may shoot them. Or just leave the area.
4. The press, if they don't want to get bitten, need only walk fast or jog in order to get away from the zombies.

Daxinos:

but i guess katrina killed all the weak people there so they would survive.

Wow, a more ignorant statement could not be imagined honestly.

Good Lord, I despise those who thing they are superior, and thus worthy of summarily deciding that they can be judge and executioner. Go sell your 'survival of the fittest' H-Youth eugenics else where, this is a freakin silly distopian zombie disaster scenario thread, not an excuse to justify leaving others to die to the ravages of a storm for months on end.

The biggest reason any of us would make a zombie apocalypse a minor incident would be through coordination, cooperation, and compassion for fellow survivors, not being a bigoted dick head and claiming yourself fit because you were both fortuitous and/or paranoid enough to own a form of head/brain pulping protection. By looking out for each other, you get a place you actually want to survive in, rather than the living envying the dead because everyone else who is still living is more dangerous than the the friggin shambling undead.

Its probably some a-hole scientist who thought like that who set the zombie apocalypse on us in the first place, with reasoning just like that: "Oh, I am really screwing you all for our own good, the world will be a better place after you are all dead thanks to this disaster." Grr...

The_root_of_all_evil:

Removing the Head.
Has anyone ever tried to remove the head from a target? I'm guessing no one here, apart from maybe Fondant

No. I usually go for the disembolwing blow myself- slows the bastards down if they wind up tripping over their own intestines.

Anyway, why are we attempting to evacuate LA? You either contain the damned thing or nuke it. I'm going with nuking it, since I don't want to risk a containment breach and I never liked the East Coast anyway.

Mind the fact you could just stay in your house with you Hi-Fi looping "Thriller" so loud that any zombie within five miles would start dancing.

Umm, I donīt quite get why third world countries would have problems withstanding the zombies.

First of all, to whoever gave the "weak military" argument: I always thought most third world countriesī problem was having to big a military (look at some African nations, for example)... and rebels... and militias... and people armed just-in-case...

Secondly, the military is always battle ready in some of those countries (or they are in battle almost every day, although thatīs only the case in few countries), so they could be more easily readied.

Thirdly, in most cases they are less densly populated and have bad infrastructure. Imagine lurching through, say, a jungle.

In those countries where those points are not valid, the government is usually organised pretty well and would therefore have almost the same options as any industrial nation. I agree that the casualties would probably be higher, but I donīt think it would be a much bigger problem there (assuming that the disease spreads per bite and not through the air or water).

You know what? Screw saving LA! I say, trigger an earthquake so that afterwards we would be left with the cool, calm waters of Arizona Bay :D

UpInSmoke:

Strafe Mcgee:

H0ncho:

This is interesting, and deserves a scholarly investigation. Maybe if all the graveyards in the world arose at the same time it would create the desired (by this forum) civilization-ending effect. It depends on how long time it would take for a bitten victim to turn into a zombie and how likely a zombie would be to devour it's prey rather than let it die and rise again. If, however, only one graveyard arose at a time I think the infestation would be unable to reach critical mass. Also it should be relatively easy to dig up all the graves and destroy the corpses.

What basis are you using for 'classical' zombies? If you're using any of Romero's work (apart from Diary, which I still haven't seen yet and can't confirm), then this thesis applies. Any dead body will become a zombie after a certain period of time, and the initial zombie crisis is caused by radiation from some sort of space station (I think).

Also, if it's modern, fast zombies then we are all screwed. Absolutely, totally, irrefutably screwed. You just can't beat those things- it only takes one of them to cause a huge spread of zombies that'll consume cities in a matter of hours.

I don't remember anything about space radiation. can anyone confirm this? I always thought the Romero movies intentionally left the cause of the initial outbreak unknown.

zombies are caused by the T virus! Duuh!

Anyway classic zombies, just like any good doctor who monster, can be defeated by walking away at a more-than-slow pace

You didn't pay attention reading the Survivalist Guide or World War Z did you? WWZ the zombies started out in poorer countries, the infected rich (relativly speaking) went to Europe and America hopeing for a cure. they carried it into hospitals, infecting heundreds in a short period of time. From there they infect civvies, and spread out. Also, an LA outbreak was discussed in The Survivalist Guide, G's were thought to be homeless addict shambling along for there next fix, but groups of gangsters did dispatch them. Total G counts ran into the hundred, with little to no police help. Gangsters took a school and turned it into a fortess untill other gang reinforcements arrived. once they discover the headshot rule, things wound down pretty quickly. If the organization hadn't been so good, the G's would have taken the town a world of hurt.

I figure I'd taste so bad the zombies would just leave me alone, so I'm not worried.

Lightbulb:

Where did the original 1 Zombie come from? Is this source incapable of infecting more people? Why is there only 1 Zombie anyway?

Chicken and the Egg theory.

1) Why cover it up?
2) Don't need to vote at the UN for internal matters
3) Agent Orange is a herbicide and defoliant, i think you mean Napalm - which wouldn't remove the head and thus quite possibly wouldn't kill a zombie - though i guess if you burn off all the tendons it can't move - its probably dead

1) Imagine what it would do to trade/panic if you didn't.
2) I think the UN might intercede if you planned on bombing a city out of existence...
3) Yep, sorry, been watching too many Vietnam films of late. Napalm would destroy all flesh (although Aerial Explosives would do a better job), hence the brain.

Honcho:
1. Assault rifles can damage a mans body sufficiently to destroy zombies with a few shots.
2. People, when under stress usually shoot too much, not too little. When you perceive your life as being in danger, most people are more than willing to shoot.
3. The police have the power to do something: If there are not so many zombies, they have plenty of training when it comes to subduing maniacs and crazy people without, say, getting bitten. In fact I would assume police training is excellent in this regard. If there are many zombies, they may shoot them. Or just leave the area.
4. The press, if they don't want to get bitten, need only walk fast or jog in order to get away from the zombies.

1) Depends...if it's an airborn or swallowed infection, then it'd just get into the air faster. I think the basis of the "removing the head" refers to shattering the brain and severing the spinal cord; which is far more difficult with an AK than a Spas.
2) People not trained in firing an assault rifle are FAR more likely to hurt themselves and others rather than the target. The kick back alone will knock a unbraced man into traction.
3) Subduing zombies is a lot more difficult than humans; because Zombies don't respond to immobilization techniques or intimidation. And the Police are gonna be equally as scared.
4) Have you EVER heard of a press photographer not trying to get an exclusive personal shoot?

Fondant:
No. I usually go for the disembolwing blow myself- slows the bastards down if they wind up tripping over their own intestines.

Don't try that on anthrax victims.

monostable:
Anyway classic zombies, just like any good doctor who monster, can be defeated by walking away at a more-than-slow pace

But you have to rest sometime; and they don't.

With the obesity problem in America I think most fat people who don't have Zombie plans will get turned fairly quickly. This also depends on how physically fit the original zombie is. If the original zombie is newly dead with a nice body, it could spread rather quickly. If the original zombie is greatly decomposed or with broken limbs it would probably smell horribly. The people would naturally try to stay away from the smelly drunken looking people so the zombie infection would be greatly slowed.

DeadRyuuzaki:
The people would naturally try to stay away from the smelly drunken looking people so the zombie infection would be greatly slowed.

It's Saturday night, that's sort of tough.

Problem is how it spreads : The original Zombie virus was based on Rabies (as was Rage); so it's saliva based; but an Anthrax or Ebola based virus would be almost impossible to stop apart from Napalm.

Or worse, the Rhinovirus known as the Common Cold, flu like symptoms before shutting down the brain; and it mutates faster than the cure.

The thing is people who got bit by zombies would be at the hospital
they would probably be detained in quarintine and not be able to leave their rooms
by the time all this has happened the police and medical professionals have figured out they're zombies and would natraully just pop a cap into their head and it would have no chance to spread

Spartan Bannana:
The thing is people who got bit by zombies would be at the hospital
they would probably be detained in quarintine and not be able to leave their rooms
by the time all this has happened the police and medical professionals have figured out they're zombies and would natraully just pop a cap into their head and it would have no chance to spread

Naturally? I'd rather think the Hippocratic Oath and "To Protect and Serve" would sort of over-rule that, even if you could convince them that it NEEDED doing.

Seriously, killing someone you have no feelings against is FAR harder than any game or Hollywood movie. And if it's airbourne, you've just done their work for them.

You didn't pay attention reading the Survivalist Guide or World War Z did you?

I paid attention, and following the premises set forth in the books they did not make sense.

WWZ the zombies started out in poorer countries, the infected rich (relativly speaking) went to Europe and America hopeing for a cure. they carried it into hospitals, infecting heundreds in a short period of time.

Ah, but you seem to assume that people, when confronted by a biting maniac, will just lay down and take it, and act like as if nothing ever happened. This seems to be a fairly common assumption among the people following Brooks. In fact it was Brooks who made me write the OP, since his version of the zombie is so utterly unfrightening.

If we know that there is a strange new disease ravaging Africa, and an infected person bites you... Do you think you will just carry on with your life as normal? If those people start biting people at the hospital... Don't you think any sort of guard will pacify them? If we also I doubt they will manage to bite more than a couple of people actually before pacified by the prison guards. The basic mechanisms behind zombie infestation will be discovered extremely quickly if this scenario is true. The implications are obvious: If your beloved one after having been bitten by an infested African and subsequently gets a strange fewer and dies, send him to the hospital. I don't know of anyone who wouldn't do this even if there weren't a fear of a new exotic disease. How long do you think it will take the hospitals to find out that the dead bodies will reanimate? 24 hours? 25? Not long. After it has happened once or twice. Probably the observers in Africa and Asia has already discovered it.

So if you know that a) people infected tend to bite other people like as if they were maniacs and b) the infection spreads through biting and c) the dead people will rise again, the infection will be easy to contain. Just "kill" all the dead people.

Also the Brookian zombie infection uses 24 hours to completely infest the victim. This is so long that the zombies can't ever reach critical mass. The only way a Brookian apocalypse can happen is if people are replaced with unquestioning, unimaginative dolls.

1) Depends...if it's an airborn or swallowed infection, then it'd just get into the air faster. I think the basis of the "removing the head" refers to shattering the brain and severing the spinal cord; which is far more difficult with an AK than a Spas.
2) People not trained in firing an assault rifle are FAR more likely to hurt themselves and others rather than the target. The kick back alone will knock a unbraced man into traction.
3) Subduing zombies is a lot more difficult than humans; because Zombies don't respond to immobilization techniques or intimidation. And the Police are gonna be equally as scared.
4) Have you EVER heard of a press photographer not trying to get an exclusive personal shoot?

Again, the assumption that people will act completely irrationally. First, I don't think the armies of the world are unused to firing assault rifles. And I doubt normal people will go hunting zombies with weapons they can't use. For the subduing part, zombies does not have superhuman strength. Neither do they get the adrenaline-rush effect. As someone who knows a little of wrestling and stuff (not much but the basics) I can say that someone completely stiff would be the easiest to subdue. The police are trained to handle drug-abusers, mad people and others, so handling a zombie should be easy. They'll regard him as a very fucked up junkie.

As for the press photographer: Imagine that a known madman walks against you, and that you can see that his intent is to hurt you. Will you just stand there and wait for him to grab and bite you? No? Didn't think so. Provided the photographers are able to dodge a walking, wailing man coming against them at speeds of 3-6 km/hour, they should be pretty safe. Even a person in a wheelchair would be able to do dodge a zombie.