The Rogue Wolf: My fellow retail employees! UNITE! *raises fist, clenching a nametag*
I've got a good one for you all. I've worked at a particular major pet-supply chain for going on eight years now. A while back, I fielded a call from a woman. "I'm looking for Noble's Dog Food," she says. "Do you have it in stock?"
I have to think. Never heard of that one. Maybe it's new? "I'm not familiar with that brand, ma'am, but I'll see if we have it."
So I put her on hold and go to check the shelves. Sure enough, no such brand of dog food resides in my store. I go back to the phone. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but it doesn't look like we carry that brand."
"Yes you do. I just bought it from there last week."
Confusing. I'd been working at the store for two and a half years and had never so much as heard of the brand. So I say I'll double-check, just to be on the safe side. Sure enough, it fails to materialize. "Ma'am," I say, "It's not on the shelves. I don't recall ever having heard of that brand. Maybe you have the wrong store?"
"No, I KNOW I bought it from there last week, I KNOW you have it, now go find it!"
By now I'm suspecting that it isn't me who's completely wrong here. Just to be sure, I go find one of our stockers. Now this guy has been working there since the store OPENED, knows the place inside and out. I ask him if he's ever heard of Noble's Dog Food. He hasn't.
I go back to the phone. "Ma'am, look. I've worked here two and a half years. My co-worker has worked here for FIVE years. Neither of us has ever heard of that brand. I have to believe you've called the wrong store."
"No, I KNOW I bought it from there! I'm coming over, and when I find it I'm going to come find you!"
When I moved out of the state a half-year later, I still had yet to see her. I feel sorry for the employees of whatever store she went to looking for me. Still, my co-worked and I had many a fun time wondering whatever happened to "Mrs. Noble".
What is it about stupid people that makes them unable to entertain the idea that they might just be wrong?
oh! oh! i know this one!
noble is the company that makes several dog and cat food/treats. she was prolly just lookin at the itty bitty print instead of the big print =/
Ok I've got one. the company i worked for sold a product made of silica which is basically the same stuff as silicon (at least chemically) which as many of you might know is pretty much a rock. any way we get these customers calling us up asking all sorts of questions about the product (never mind the huge book of data we send along with the stuff explaining everything about it). so one day we get a call from a customer who is using it as a food preservative since it absorbs moisture really well. they had a few questions and all of them seemed reasonable until they asked what the nutritional content of the silica is... which was basically asking what the nutritional content of a rock is. Ugh and these people are supposed to be college educated.
I worked in a Pharmacy so I LOTS of interesting stories.
People don't realize that I'm a cashier and not a doctor so I don't know how to diagnose illness nor can I dispense medications like candy.
So I'm restocking the newspapers at about 8 in the morning. *we have to get there an hour early to open up* THis lady walk is up to the door and bangs on the glass. *which I just cleaned -_-# I open the door slightly so I can talk and se pretty much bolders me over trying to get in. "Excuse me ma'm but we aren't open yet, I'm sorry but if you wait another half hour I can open a bit early for you." "You aren't open yet? That's silly what if people need their medications.... what time are you open then?" "nine ma'm." "Nine?! what do you expect me to do for an hour" "there's a great coffee shop down the street, and as I've said before I can open a bit earlier for you" *angry Huff* "Fine." SHe walks off all angry, so I rub it off figuring well she may need a medication or something. About 45 minuets later she's back with a bratty little kid that has a toy car. "Nice to see you again" I put on my nice face. :D "Hmph." So I go about my buisness then i notice that the brat is watching me. O_O "Hi hun can help you out." Kid throws the car at my face, it misses me but I'm a bit pissed. "Hey now throwing isn't very nice, why don't you go with your mum?" I had the damn car to him. And the little brat spits on me! "THat's not cool. Spitting is gross, don't do it again" I'm angry now *I hate kids to begin with, this one is just asking for a smack THe mom come over with like a bag of candy and magazine. "I need you to get me the perscription for ______. And I want to buy these." "I'm sorry ma'm but the pharmasist isn't in yet if you want to wait a bit He'll be in soon." "Why can't you give them to me?" "I'm not trained ma'm, I'm unauthorized to give you your med." "Why do you work he then if you aren't a pharmasist?" -_-" Because they needed someone to open the store for them and work the front register" " Can't you just go back and get it for me? I mean you just look for the name, it isn't rocket science." "Excuse me, but I'm not breaking the rules if you want to wait that's fine but I'm afraid I can't do anything else except help you purchase your other items." "Well I'm not going to wait anymore, I can just go back and get it myself." "No you can't, that room is locked you can't open it with out the key." "Well then shut up and give me the key." "excuse me?!" WTF? "Ma'm I think it's best if you just leave." "I don't have to I'm the customer you should give me what I want." "No you''re being rude and obnoxious and I'm sick of it." "How dare you, you little whore. I'm calling your manager." She leave the store with the brat. Later my manager comes in "I got some weird message on my phone what happened?" I tell him and he cracks up, he found it amusing and told me I could have the rest of the day off. :3
Hmmm, I can't possibly compare to some of the epicness that this thread is already filled with, but I'll just chime in anyway.
From my year or so working at a Pizza Hut in my hometown, I've learned that the company is VERY discerning for who gets the Book-It reading program coupons.
Me: Thank you for choosing Marksville Pizza Hut, this is Warren speaking, how can I help you? Kid(about 9 or so): Yea, I wanna order a personal pan pepperoni. I've got a free good reading.... (10 seconds of silence while he sounds out the word) ser.....ti....fakkit(supposed to be certificate)
Now I work at a Hyatt hotel, and while I must say, the hotel industry is infinitely better than the food service industry, there's still a fair share of jackasses. For some reason, hotel companies think it's a good idea to be oversold (selling 130+ rooms when we only have 126), and when we are oversold, we have to send guests to a different hotel. In this event, we don't charge them, and we also pay for their entire stay wherever we send them. Seems reasonable, right? Some people don't think so.
Me: Good evening sir, how can I help you? Guest: Yes, I have a reservation. Me: I'm sorry sir, but our hotel was oversold tonight, but we're going to send you to another hotel and have your entire stay comped.
For the record, we don't send people to a crappy Motel 6 or something. We're a high 3, low 4 star hotel, and we send the guests to a hotel of similar repute (a Hilton, or a Mariott or something).
The guest, who was roughly the size and shape of a large refrigerator (with an IQ to match, apparently), EXPLODES at ME as if I overbooked the hotel to conspire against him. He starts yelling about how he stays at Hyatt all the time, he's a Gold member (which held some sway, because we should never have to walk a Gold Passport member, but he got there at 1 in the morning, so that's on him). He rants about how the hotel is a joke, how this is the worst service he's ever had (hard to believe, since we actually won an award for high customer satisfaction). Seriously, you're getting 3 nights at a 3-4 star hotel for free, for the inconvenience of a 5 minute drive?
And yes, our customer satisfaction is SOOO horrible. After Hurricane Gustav last week (I live in Baton Rouge, LA, so we got hit pretty hard) we had about half the guests who stayed with us through the hurricane (and resulting power outages) ask for the number to corporate and all the employees names, just so they could call and say what a wonderful job we did, and how pleased they were to have stayed with us.
Nightex: Ok I've got one. the company i worked for sold a product made of silica which is basically the same stuff as silicon (at least chemically) which as many of you might know is pretty much a rock. any way we get these customers calling us up asking all sorts of questions about the product (never mind the huge book of data we send along with the stuff explaining everything about it). so one day we get a call from a customer who is using it as a food preservative since it absorbs moisture really well. they had a few questions and all of them seemed reasonable until they asked what the nutritional content of the silica is... which was basically asking what the nutritional content of a rock is. Ugh and these people are supposed to be college educated.
Actually, if you eat Silica, it is FATAL, but I am sure they missed the DO NOT INGEST warning labels in their haste to make sure they could use it in their food...
"Good Morning Madam, how can I help you?" "Can I have some Green Leicester please?" --pause-- "Some Green Leicester?" "Yes, I saw it advertised on the TV this morning."
Todays date : April 1st
*penny drops* "I'm sorry ma'am, we don't serve Green Leicester. I think you've been had." "I'm sorry?" "It is April the first madam." "So? Have you any Green Leicester or not?" "Uh...it's an April Fool's joke." "What is?" "There is no such thing as Green Leicester cheese." "Yes there is. Honestly, get me someone in charge!"
Young Root has to go to explain to his manageress.
"What have you been doing now?" - She likes me, loads. I explain the problem. "It's always you, isn't it..."
She then explains to the customer, who's glaring at me all the time.
"Well! I DON'T FIND IT FUNNY!", and she storms off.
I nip out the back because now I'm shaking with laughter.
Oooh...same job.
"Excuse me young lady." I hated having a pony tail at times. "Yes, Sir?" "Oh, I'm sorry. Do you work here?" Bastion of intellect here. "Only when they catch me." *tumbleweed* "Yes, I do." "Do you know which of these dog foods has the biggest chunks?" --pause-- --remember that humour is wasted here-- "I'm really not sure." "Oh, is there anyway of finding out?" "Can I ask what it's for?" --expecting heavy sarcasm-- "Oh, I go fishing and the fish love it."
And while I'm at it, it think I'll bitch about my co-workers for a bit. Most of my co-workers are consistently awesome, and even the one's I talk about here are tolerable, but annoying as hell. A few things that get on my nerves:
1) Shut the hell up!!
One the housemen (i.e. janitors/manual laborers) asked me to help him take out the overflowing garbage bin. I said, "Ok, let me just go to the bathroom real quick". In response, he BELLOWS into the crowded lobby "You gotta take a SHIT?!?!" Ok....no, but thanks for making everyone think I did. Needless to say, that turned a few heads. I was out of sight already, so I just kept walking, but I still resisted the urge to bellow right back.
2) Do your Goddamned job!!
Out of the 15-20 people who work there, about 18 of them smoke heavily (I honestly think it's only me and maybe one other person that don't). And by heavily I mean take on-the-clock smoke breaks. Most are considerate and wait until the lobby (or Gallery, as we're instructed to call it) is near empty. But one of them will go smoke or just take a break whenever he feels like it. Dear Coworker: During the breakfast rush, if there is a line going back to the front desk, you do not, repeat do NOT need to take a 20 minutes smoke break EVERY 20 FUCKING MINUTES!!!!
"Have you got Romeo and Juliet?" *chew* *chew* "Who's it by?" --pause-- "William Shakespear" "I'll just go and find out." Minutes pass. She returns holding two books. "No, we haven't got that one, but these two are by the same author."
This thread reminds me of one we had a while back, "Confessions of a Game Store Clerk" (or a title to that effect). That one had some great stories too.
I'm sending huge round of applause to anyone that has posted a story here about their experience with customers - I know I wouldn't have been able to handle any of them without a smack to the chops being involved.
Ehh...Wish me luck, I'm trying to get an interview at the local GameStop, but after reading this thread, I'm starting to reconsider... And yes to the book idea, but we'd need a helluva lot more stories.
I Just remembered one, that involves the stupidity of corporate and customers. where I work we also have a verizon wireless indirect retailer, and I guess I would be considered an agent. Unfortunatly, the main verizon guys, I guess you would call them the corporate guys, dont realize that we are a retailer, not a dealer. Dealers get there cell phones direct from verizon, so they tend to be cheaper than us since we have to order our phones through a third party, and dealers can handle warranty and insurace claims in store. Im constantly being bitched out about not taking back the phone that Joe Retard just ran over with his truck, or dumped in the toilet (brrrrrr). And no matter how many times we tell the main company we are a retailer, and even beg them to put it in there computer when the zip code is entered, they keep telling people we are a dealer, and they have to get their warrunties handled through us. And since people think that the guy on the phone is always right, they flat out accuse us of lying, and go to my boss to complain. She just explains exactly the same thing I said to them again, and they get all pissed off and storm out.
Also, we were closing down early for some holiday or other, so I was printing reports, (doors are locked, open light out)when this chick starts banging on the glass doors, (also which I had just cleaned). me: opening the door " Im sorry Ma'am, we're closed early because of the holiday" her: THATS NOT UNTIL F***ING TOMARROW WHY THE H*** ARE YOU CLOSED?! we had an ad in the paper saying we were going to be closed early, radio ads, big signs all over the front of the store, what do you think? (This is in a town of about 9 thousand people, so the newspaper and radio are the big advertising things) I shut and locked the door again, and pulled the shades without saying another word to her.
Man, this thread really shows how stupid people can be.
the monopoly guy: You know what, we could compile all these stories and make a book, each chapter will be named after whoever is telling the stories. It would be epic.
Then use the profits to start conquering the world...
the monopoly guy: You know what, we could compile all these stories and make a book, each chapter will be named after whoever is telling the stories. It would be epic.
Then use the profits to start conquering the world...
the monopoly guy: You know what, we could compile all these stories and make a book, each chapter will be named after whoever is telling the stories. It would be epic.
Then use the profits to start conquering the world...
Would love that though, good for a few days read.
All Proceeds go to the Escapist.
.........................And Aries_Split.
As the OP, I think you'll find the monies are mine, sunny-jim :p
the monopoly guy: You know what, we could compile all these stories and make a book, each chapter will be named after whoever is telling the stories. It would be epic.
Then use the profits to start conquering the world...
Would love that though, good for a few days read.
All Proceeds go to the Escapist.
.........................And Aries_Split.
As the OP, I think you'll find the monies are mine, sunny-jim :p
As long as you conquer the world and burn it down who cares? :P
glad to see the thread back up again.... Had a few crappy customers this week but not many.
Burger King has started the Spicy wrap thing, and everytime a new spicy item comes out i cringe. Everyone wants to know how hot/spicy it is. As spicy-ness/hotness is more of a personal preference.. i can never give a good enough answer to it. Mebbe if enough people knew about scoville units (its how they measure how hot peppers are.) I could use that.
The newest toys for the kids meals are these neo-pet things. Kids are almost dragging their parents to the front line, yelling about this one and that one. As soon as its time to place the order they get dead quiet and point out to their parents which toy they want. The parents will always request that toy. Unfortunantly 9 times out of 10, we dont have the one they want, Im not a damned toy store, the sign outside says burger king. Kids start crying, parents start screaming, noznin is not a happy manager. And the worst part is they come with stickers.... any one that works with or around kids knows that kids lovem' and will put them everywhere. Ive allready had to scrape stickers off of windows, booths, tables, my drink serving station, the urinal in the bathroom, the floor, and the toy display unit.
I love it when people think im not the manager or want to talk to my boss...ive allways wanted to keep a fake mustache in my pocket for this reason. Just once id like to say "let me get the manager for you" spin around, put it on, and spin back saying "can i help you" in a funny accent.
A lot of people call up thinking im a directory for other restaraunts. I get atleast 5 calls a day looking for other burgerkings. Today i had a lady looking for a burgerking in another shopping center that i know, for a fact, does not house a burger king. She wouldnt believe and kept asking for the number. After about 5 minutes, i finally convinced her it was in fact a wendys.
A lot of people call up thinking im a directory for other restaraunts. I get atleast 5 calls a day looking for other burgerkings. Today i had a lady looking for a burgerking in another shopping center that i know, for a fact, does not house a burger king. She wouldnt believe and kept asking for the number. After about 5 minutes, i finally convinced her it was in fact a wendys.
You should have given her a wrong number or one for a porn shop. If she called back let her talk for a bit say code accepted then pretend to be some sort of terrorist hotline.
A lot of people call up thinking im a directory for other restaraunts. I get atleast 5 calls a day looking for other burgerkings. Today i had a lady looking for a burgerking in another shopping center that i know, for a fact, does not house a burger king. She wouldnt believe and kept asking for the number. After about 5 minutes, i finally convinced her it was in fact a wendys.
You should have given her a wrong number or one for a porn shop. If she called back let her talk for a bit say code accepted then pretend to be some sort of terrorist hotline.
id get so fired fo doing any of those.... but i have hung up on a guy multiple times just cause he wouldnt stop cursing at me. Id warn him everytime i was going to hang up if he couldnt speak to me like an adult and treat me with respect. He said "what the fuck is that supposed to mean?!" so i hung up and waited for him to call back like 2 seconds later. I pick up the phone with the usual greeting and he starts right back at it. I warned him again and he says "you better fucking listen to me this time" CLICK.... He then calls back and has the nerve to say that hanging up on him "was a real mature move" He minds his tounge for about 20 seconds before cussing at me again and hanging up real quick.
Nice to see we're not alone eh? I think I'll throw in my wall-o-text too
Now, I work in a hardware store (Its like Home Depo [sp?]) Only smaller. It has a nice little cafe, and we give oustanding customer service (apparently).
So anyway, this one lady comes in with her children (4 years the the most), ignores all the greetings from the staff and proceeds to the Special Orders counter. She then starts treating them as though they're her servants that run around the store for her. While this is going on, one of her children wets himself, then runs into the next aisle where he takes a poop on the floor. The lady, not appologising for her childs actions, nor cleaning it up, heads down to the cafe. Down there, she hears a request to move her car from a disabled carpark over the PA. Obviously she is not thrilled by this and storms out of the store,cursing under her breath, when she is confronted by our manager. She then begins to cuss out the manager while driving off, and continues to do so untill she is out of sight.
God this woman deserved a quick visit of the hammers' aisle, complete with a demonstration, first on her incontinent offspring, then on the rest of the family, and of course, service with a smile...
There are times where I think store/hotel employees should have the right to exert aggravated physical punishment on the retards who call themselves customers of patrons...
Now another anecdote I remember was rather harmless, I wasn't a clerk in this video game shop, but I felt for both the poor customer and the poor clerk. I was buying some owned 360 games the other day, and discussing PS2 and Xbox with this clerk when an old lady, visibly a bit lost enters and tries to scan the place, to find some lighthouse in this foreign sea of logos and boxes and stuff she could not make out for the life of hers. Then we both ask her "Need anything ma'am ?" (for ease of writing, assume the clerk and I are the same person in the dialog). She very nicely replies "Why yes please, can you tell me what an xbox is and how much it costs ? It's some kind of game I believe." "Well, uuuhhh... it's a console ma'am, which means it's made to play games, but it's not really a game in itself..." "Oh uh... you know I don't really get all these, it's my grandson/daughter (forgot) who said (s)he wants one, so I'm asking and all." "Mh... how old is (s)he ? You see, the cheapest model of xbox (we conclude it's a 360 she's looking for) is 200 euros and there are no games included (well of course there are XBA demos, but I doubt it counts for kids)." "Well (s)he is 4, turning 5. It's expensive... and there are no games with it ? I don't get it." We look at each other with the clerk, and we are both puzzled... So we walk her to the 360 games and we take one (it was Kameo or Viva Piņata, something PG 3+ for sure) we put in the 360 on display. Basically we explain her how, like with a VCR or DVD, you need to put the disc/tape in the machine to have something to do. "Ooooh I get it, well it's nice and all, but it costs a lot, I don't know..." "Ma'am, in all earnest, don't buy one, most of the games are not for kids." "Oh, but what should I get for his(her) birthday then ? (S)He wanted an xbox." "... Well if the kid wants video games, get him(her) a gameboy adance and super mario, nintendo consoles have literaly tons of games aimed at kids and all." "Oh, and how much would it cost ?" "Not much, buy it second-hand, you can have a console and a handful of games for half the price of an xbox, and it would be more suited for a 5yo -yet in my opinion, you'd better get her other toys or a kid's book or something, she'll have plenty of time to play video games." "Oh, I see, so the gameboy's the name, right ? and like the xbox, you need games on top of the device ?" "Exactly, but now it's cheaper, moreso used" "Oh, ok, then I'll have a chat with my daughter and then we'll see, maybe I'll come back" "Please do"
Basically this time the customer was more confused than wrong, but we felt bad for this grandma, we pictured the kid as a spoiled brat whining for stuff seen in TV ads, and the mum using her mother as a nanny and a present dispenser, maybe we have been harsh, but it was how it appeared to us from how confused she sounded, just entering a video game shop.
This thread is the most epic I have ever read in the history of epic threads........Epic