Ok, i don't want to make a poll and i do realise that a lot of people on these forums aren't going to have children at the moment. I don't, i'm seventeen ha ha.

So what i wanted to know is your thoughts on smacking children, Im pretty sure that in Britain its now illegal to smack your kid. I however think a parent has every right to smack his/her kid, not out of some demented sadistic idea thatkids are their parents property but because kids are well...kids. SO many times i've watched children who sshould damn well be old enough to understand and accept what their parents tell them, but they sit there screaming into the abyss because their mum or dad won't buy them the latest fad.

Completely ignoring their tired parents attempts to bribe, threaten or console them into shutting up i think its perfectly reasonable to give them a smack. Lets face it, kids are going to understand physical pain because its so basic. What im doing is going to cause me pain, i should probably stop it. What the hell is wrong with that?

I geuss i understand all that bullshit about child abuse but for god sake, i got smacked when i was younger, hard, and it fucking hurt. And then i did what i was told, for the better. So in my view smacking your kid is fine. Whats your view?

GIVE ME YOUR SECRET TIME TRAVELING 1950s GUY!

I dont know, kind of 50/50
spoiled/violent children are a very annoying thing. But often times the parents did not commit to good parenting (too soft, negligence, or too harsh).

I am nowhere close to being a parent, and I think some smacks really did me good when I was younger.

The ability to intelligently raise a child without "smacking" is difficult either requiring a certain level of formalized education or just a general sense of wisdom when it comes to child raising. I fear that banning any type of physical punishment risks criminalizing average poor or uneducated people who may even have cultural differences on this matter.

That being said, my mother never hit me or my brother and we were single parent latchkey kids. I also plan on never hitting my own children.

So, I do think that hitting your kid is bad parenting but I also think that most people are bad parents so I am not so quick to crimilize most people.

Marbas:
GIVE ME YOUR SECRET TIME TRAVELING 1950s GUY!

Enlighten me...

A small smack was a very easy way for me to know not to do something again. So long as the parent is not savagely beating their child I believe parents have every right to discipline their child without having the government attacking them.

BallPtPenTheif:
The ability to intelligently raise a child without "smacking" is difficult either requiring a certain level of formalized education or just a general sense of wisdom when it comes to child raising. I fear that banning any type of physical punishment risks criminalizing average poor or uneducated people who may even have cultural differences on this matter.

That being said, my mother never hit me or my brother and we were single parent latchkey kids. I also plan on never hitting my own children.

So, I do think that hitting your kid is bad parenting but I also think that most people are bad parents so I am not so quick to crimilize most people.

Good points, i saw some people stare with disgust at a parents who smacked her child, who was basically being a fucking brat. It annoyed me to see that people really did see it as bad parenting and maybe it is but hey, the kid did deserve it... in my view anyway.

My daughter was smart enough to know that if Daddy HAD to raise his voice, she was ALREADY in trouble... So I rarely had to raise my voice with her, and I never had to spank her. Of course, she hadn't really hit her terrible two's yet...

There is a line between smacking/spanking your child and child abuse. It is not a fine line however, it's actually quite thick and very easily defined. Smacking a disobedient child has worked since the dawn of time, why is it that the modern liberal pussies think they know a better way to do things than 2000+ years of recorded history?

Pain hurts. DUH! And pain applied as a punishment reinforces the idea that what someone did was bad. Children today (in general) don't get hit, and are fearless of any punishment their parents threaten. Do your homework or I'll take away your XBox, stop hitting your sister or I'll ask you again, settle down or you're taking another Ritalin pill, IT JUST DOESN'T WORK.

Children should both fear and respect their parents. Not to the point they're afraid of their parents at all times, but enough so that they know if they fuck up, they won't be sleeping on their backs for a week. When I finally have kids, I'm going to raise them right, like my parents raised me. Proof my parents raised me right... I'm educated, with a good job that pays me well. I have my own house and car, I pay my bills and am in no unreasonable debt. I don't rely on medication or drugs to get me through life, I don't even smoke or drink.

Now compared to my brother, who they spoiled rotten and never enforced the same rules on... He's a chain-smoking alcoholic who often blows his rent cheque on weed. He's in debt to the government for not paying income tax, hasn't kept a job for over 2 years, and has been in jail numerous times. Abusive towards his girlfriend, socially inept, and can't string four words together without one of them being "fuck".

He was rarely if ever punished as a child, I was punished for every slip up. Sure he had it easier, but I'm tremendously more satisfied with my life.

A certain level of physical punishment is necessary for the earlier years of life. Very young children just can't grasp talking/reasoning. You have to either deny them access to something they love, or use physical punishment, such as spanking. You must explain to your child what it is they did wrong before you punish them. Ask them to apologize. Don't make them simply hurt, make them deeply regret breaking the rules. They should be terribly regretful of it, not just in a little stinging pain. However, never hit a child in the face.

Punishments must be a bit harsh. Don't go easy on your child. Give them the message that it doesn't matter what they did specifically, what matters is that they disobeyed you or any other authority. On that note, don't let your child come running to you when they get in trouble with another source of authority, such as teachers. If you either protect your child from these other sources, or even punish the child yourself instead of letting the other authorities deal with it, then you take any respect your child had for them. The child will just keep running to you, even if you are the one who punishes them. They will prefer being punished by their parents than by others. You must make sure your child understands that there are other sources of authority than yourself.

Never give in to your child. If you say yes to whining, they will whine forever. The early years are key to developing your child's personality, as well as their relationship with you. Once your child gets to be more mature, usually around 7 or 8, start treating them with more respect. Do not be condescending to them, whatever you do. When they ask questions, answer them as you would an adult, but preferably in simpler terms. Don't confuse them. Treating your child like a normal person, instead of a child, will greatly boost their self esteem. Plus, if you respect them, they will respect you.

Crap. It became a rant.

Shouldn't be illegal, but you shouldn't do it. At least, there are more constructive alternatives.

On the other hand, I'm FOR smacking adults.

Platinum117:

Good points, i saw some people stare with disgust at a parents who smacked her child, who was basically being a fucking brat. It annoyed me to see that people really did see it as bad parenting and maybe it is but hey, the kid did deserve it... in my view anyway.

Most kids annoy me, and I wish I could legally smack them. But that knee jerk idea is far detached from my attempts to objectively weigh the matter.

Khell_Sennet:
There is a line between smacking/spanking your child and child abuse. It is not a fine line however, it's actually quite thick and very easily defined. Smacking a disobedient child has worked since the dawn of time, why is it that the modern liberal pussies think they know a better way to do things than 2000+ years of recorded history?

Pain hurts. DUH! And pain applied as a punishment reinforces the idea that what someone did was bad. Children today (in general) don't get hit, and are fearless of any punishment their parents threaten. Do your homework or I'll take away your XBox, stop hitting your sister or I'll ask you again, settle down or you're taking another Ritalin pill, IT JUST DOESN'T WORK.

Children should both fear and respect their parents. Not to the point they're afraid of their parents at all times, but enough so that they know if they fuck up, they won't be sleeping on their backs for a week. When I finally have kids, I'm going to raise them right, like my parents raised me. Proof my parents raised me right... I'm educated, with a good job that pays me well. I have my own house and car, I pay my bills and am in no unreasonable debt. I don't rely on medication or drugs to get me through life, I don't even smoke or drink.

Now compared to my brother, who they spoiled rotten and never enforced the same rules on... He's a chain-smoking alcoholic who often blows his rent cheque on weed. He's in debt to the government for not paying income tax, hasn't kept a job for over 2 years, and has been in jail numerous times. Abusive towards his girlfriend, socially inept, and can't string four words together without one of them being "fuck".

He was rarely if ever punished as a child, I was punished for every slip up. Sure he had it easier, but I'm tremendously more satisfied with my life.

Oh My God, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH !!!!!!!

Khell_Sennet be praised.

Well smacking has been outlawed recently in my country...... The politician who forced it through was threatened with her life.

Its kinda easy with a population of 4 million

I think children shout be punished corparally, it works. Nothing should be over the top though, just a simple smack. And i think standerdised corporal punishment would be a good idea aswel, but only if it is well regulated, if a child is going to be "caned" etc then it should be done by a properly trained person for the whole school, specific amounts, nothing that wil cause lasting damage, just enough to get kids to shut up in class

well considering we're animals, sure a bit more evolved or so we think and all animals learn by being physically reprimanded by the parents, i think we're foolish to think our kids will learn by a method that has no foundation in the animal kingdom

There's nothing wrong with slapping your kid. Every kid needs to get hit every now again. Look what happened when we stopped - we now have a generation of narcissists with entitlement issues. What I find fucked up is the government stepping in and telling people how to raise their kids.

Smacking isn't totally illegal in Britain, mild smacking is legally allowed to punish children but if it leaves a mark it's illegal.

I think it's up to the parent how they punish their child as long as the punishment's within reason.

Khell_Sennet:

Pain hurts. DUH! And pain applied as a punishment reinforces the idea that what someone did was bad. Children today (in general) don't get hit, and are fearless of any punishment their parents threaten. Do your homework or I'll take away your XBox, stop hitting your sister or I'll ask you again, settle down or you're taking another Ritalin pill, IT JUST DOESN'T WORK.

Yeah, I guess that was my aunt's philosophy. Then her son grew to be 6'3" and 220lbs. The last time she hit him she got a black eye and a cracked lip.

If you hit your kids you are establishing a construct of rules based on power and consequences. If that's what you have to do, then that's fine but if the kid figures out how to take the power and give the consequences then you're fucked.

Mistah Kurtz:
There's nothing wrong with slapping your kid. Every kid needs to get hit every now again. Look what happened when we stopped - we now have a generation of narcissists with entitlement issues. What I find fucked up is the government stepping in and telling people how to raise their kids.

I agree with you that the government shouldn't be stepping in. I think you are a bit presumptuous though in terms of assuming that not hitting children creates entitled brats. There is nothing smart about using power to control a child... though it may be necessary it is only necessary because the parent doesn't know a smart way to instill empathy and respect within their child.

Any moron can raise a hand, but establishing logical and rational boundaries is a bit more complicated.

I'm agrreing a lot with meatloaf 231

Parents who smack their kids are retards. If my Mam tried anything like that, I would slap dat ho back in line.

internutt:
A small smack was a very easy way for me to know not to do something again. So long as the parent is not savagely beating their child I believe parents have every right to discipline their child without having the government attacking them.

Ditto, my parents smacked me a lot when I was younger. It certainly worked, but it did backfire in one particular instance. I can't stand the word 'homework'. I even feel something when typing it. Ugh. This was because one particular homework was an essay, I was dyslexic so the spelling was appalling, so mum rolled it up and hit me with it. Then she tore it up in front of me. Now I don't do homework.
That isn't discipline, that's just cruel.

I didn't get slaps, I got pancake turners with slits in them and frying pans to the ass.

smallharmlesskitten:
Well smacking has been outlawed recently in my country...... The politician who forced it through was threatened with her life.

Its kinda easy with a population of 4 million

Same here (might very well be the same country, I didn't check)
The weird thing was that most of the complaints seemed to be coming from a religious standpoint (God has given us the right to hit our kids or some shit), people are still complaining about it. Of course I doubt laws will stop anyone, I knew tonnes of underage drinkers (when they were underage) and they didn't give a shit about the law then either.
That said I think there has to be a better way to teach children lessons than hitting them.

Smacking isn't totally illegal in Britain, mild smacking is legally allowed to punish children but if it leaves a mark it's illegal.

But who defines mark? Are we talking a red spot? Pretty much any forceful impact, a mild slap, leaves a slight mark. I scratched an itch, my nails were fairly sharp. It left the skin with a mark. If a 'mark' is like a bruise, then I agree. A clip round the head, even if it leaves a red mark, should not be punished.

I did something wrong, my dad hit me round the head with the palm of his hand. I turned out okay.

EmperorDude:
I didn't get slaps, I got pancake turners with slits in them and frying pans to the ass.

Tell me you don't love it.

*cough*

Er..anyway..Yeah, Amnestic, a mark is defined as a bruise. If it was just a red mark then sitting down in an awkward position would get the chair sent to jail.

Danny Ocean:

EmperorDude:
I didn't get slaps, I got pancake turners with slits in them and frying pans to the ass.

Tell me you don't love it.

*cough*

Er..anyway..Yeah, Amnestic, a mark is defined as a bruise. If it was just a red mark then sitting down in an awkward position would get the chair sent to jail.

Well, the prisons would be a lot comfier...

I think that hitting should be kept as an option, but a slim option to use when nothing else will fit. My troubles with punishment usually aren't the methods, but the ways in which they're doled out. All too often, parents punish without making it clear what they're punishing or why - the sentence never fits the crime, and often the same punishment is used in all cases. Growing up, my household was a non-violent one, and the reason that discipline didn't work was that I was never told WHY I was being disciplined. Sure, I knew the direct reason, but I very rarely knew why it was wrong or what the consequences of my actions were. I was locked in the basement, left to think about what I had done, but I really didn't know what they wanted me to think about or why I was even there. All I knew was that if I wanted to avoid punishment, I had to not get caught. Needless to say, my morality came in late.

One week, though, I was staying at my grandfather's house while my parents went on vacation, and my brother and myself broke our bed by playing WWF on it. Naturally, we scattered, coming back a half-day later when we figured the anger had blown over. Coming into the house, though, we found Papa waiting there with a pile of scrap wood and three hammers. Instead of punishing us like our parents did, he explained that if we wanted to sleep in a bed that night, we would have to fix what we had done. We were gobsmacked; we had never had to take actual responsibility for our actions before. That was a theme that entire week, and taught me more about child-rearing than my parents did. If I ate up all the candy the first night I was there, I had none for the rest of the week. If I stayed out too late for dinner, I found none waiting for me when I got home. If unrolling two rolls of toilet paper into the toilet clogged it, we would have no bathroom until we plunged it. Papa was always there to help teach us how to repair our own damage, but we were always expected to do the work, and he was always there for us to ask questions of.

That, more than anything, is how I think punishment should happen. It's true that in the heat of anger it's difficult to think rationally, but THAT'S where time-out comes in, allowing you some room to think and calm down. All children want to be treated like adults; that's why they get into your good scotch and paint hideous Joker faces on their heads with your expensive Mac lipstick. Adults have all the power. We can do what we want, buy what we want, go where we want and make other little people to be their friends. I've found that not only will a child take better to punishment if you treat them as you would another adult, but they respect you more for the consideration.

This is, of course, assuming you want the result of punishment to be leaning and progressive modification of behavior, rather than just 'shutting them up'.

meatloaf231:

Danny Ocean:

EmperorDude:
I didn't get slaps, I got pancake turners with slits in them and frying pans to the ass.

Tell me you don't love it.

*cough*

Er..anyway..Yeah, Amnestic, a mark is defined as a bruise. If it was just a red mark then sitting down in an awkward position would get the chair sent to jail.

Well, the prisons would be a lot comfier...

Touche. Although I don't think a lot of the prisoners would have much use for the chairs after shower time...

I do feel that smacking a child can be beneficial, but I'm only speaking from personal experience, seeing as I was from the generation right before parents hitting their kids became taboo.

I'm sure there are those of you who were disciplined that have some "belt-whipping" stories. I have one really memorable one that got my dad so riled up, he almost gave himself a heart attack. That, for the most part, was an extreme case and my parents usually settled for spankings and ear pulls. That was only if I did bad things, though. They would never beat me for not doing my homework and I never got bad grades (except once in second grade when the teacher decided I was so good at reading and math that he started giving me third grade level work which made my grades go down). This day and age, just telling kids to behave doesn't do much, especially with so many external influences. Sometimes, you need to associate getting in trouble with pain to get the message across.

And before people start giving me weird looks and thinking my parents where uneducated barbarians, cultural differences and the way people are brought up have a profound effect on how they treat their kids. My parents got the shit kicked of them when they were growing up. And considering some of the stories they've told me, I had it a lot easier then they did when it came to discipline.

If you need to slap your kids, you fucked up somewhere. I'm not saying it's easy to raise a child without any physical violence, but it's certainly possible.