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Smacking Children - As a Parents of Course

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Mukiwa
Copy Clerk
Posts: 91
Joined: 4 Sep 2008

My parents used to smack me and I've turned out fine *twitch*

LewsTherin
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1101
Joined: 22 Jun 2008

bashdown:
Parents who smack their kids are retards. If my Mam tried anything like that, I would slap dat ho back in line.

QED.

Shivari
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1123
Joined: 17 Jun 2008

I smack little kids every day after they come out of the sweat shop/torture room so that they can eat their infected dinner. They then go back down and work throughout the night while occasionally getting whipped.

Ronmarru
Copy Clerk
Posts: 79
Joined: 17 Aug 2008

As long as it's the last resort I'm fine with it. If you have the kind of kid that will hold their breath until they get what they want, even if it literaly causes brain damage, or the kind that outright refuses to do anything you tell them because of some authority issue, spank 'em.

Khell_Sennet
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3507
Joined: 25 Jan 2008

Ixus Illwrath:
Shouldn't be illegal, but you shouldn't do it. At least, there are more constructive alternatives.

Like what? All the non-physical hippie crap ideas I've ever heard have failed. Now we have a generation of never-told-no brats going into the workforce and treating their jobs like a joke, thinking everything should be handed to them on a platinum plate. Following the "Don't smack your child" generation are the pill poppers. Children being dosed with anti-depressants and Ritalin who are so mal-adjusted that they're liable to snap and go all Virginia-Tech on people, or have a heart attack the first time they see something they aren't accustomed to.

Madshaw:
I think children shout be punished corparally, it works. Nothing should be over the top though, just a simple smack. And i think standerdised corporal punishment would be a good idea aswel, but only if it is well regulated, if a child is going to be "caned" etc then it should be done by a properly trained person for the whole school, specific amounts, nothing that wil cause lasting damage, just enough to get kids to shut up in class

Second! My gods SECOND!

I'm not saying the solution to every situation is to hit a child. I am totally against abusive behavior and unwarranted punishment, but compare our current generations to that of our parents (or grandparents for the offspring of knocked-up teens).

In school, if you were disobedient, you got punished. For minor things, a time out with the dunce hat to make you a social pariah, an object of ridicule and scorn. Oh, but that ruins a child's self esteem and scars them for life says psychiatrist hippie liberal bitch... No it doesn't. Humiliation is a GOOD learning tool, and even better, it's not physical. A child publicly humiliated for his misdeeds is less likely to repeat those actions, and while he may get teased for it, the other children know that if they go too far with it, it will be THEIR turn on the dunce stool. The idea that children are so emotionally fragile is such lunacy. Yes, children get emotional scars, just as they get physical ones. But scars heal, and life goes on. Learning to deal with these scars while young means they will be more emotionally stable than someone who is traumatized at a later age and has no idea how to cope.

And caning or spanking in school... BRING IT BACK. Children should fear and respect all forms of authority, because if they don't learn to fear authority as a child, they will never respect authority as an adult. Teachers have gone from powerful figures to victims of their students, they can't even touch a kid without fear, while kids can terrorize the class. People say beating kids is from the dark ages, well I think the way schools are today IS the dark ages. Education is a joke, kids don't want to learn and teachers just want the kids out of there, because nobody has control of the situation. And again, it reflects in the workforce coming from these schools. 10 employees today aren't worth 1 good employee from 20 years ago. People in general, outside of work, are likewise insufferable pricks who think everything exists for their pleasure.

BallPtPenTheif:

Khell_Sennet:

Pain hurts. DUH! And pain applied as a punishment reinforces the idea that what someone did was bad. Children today (in general) don't get hit, and are fearless of any punishment their parents threaten. Do your homework or I'll take away your XBox, stop hitting your sister or I'll ask you again, settle down or you're taking another Ritalin pill, IT JUST DOESN'T WORK.

Yeah, I guess that was my aunt's philosophy. Then her son grew to be 6'3" and 220lbs. The last time she hit him she got a black eye and a cracked lip.

If you hit your kids you are establishing a construct of rules based on power and consequences. If that's what you have to do, then that's fine but if the kid figures out how to take the power and give the consequences then you're fucked.

That story doesn't give us all the details to form a judgement with. Was your aunt a single mother, or could the father have hit him instead? How old was the son? Old enough to kick out of the house, because the physical punishment route only works until they're grown. It's a tool to instill proper behavior, and a last-resort one, not to be used for just any minor offense. If the "kid" is past the age where it works, the next punishment level is the inevitable "go live on your own if you aren't going to live by the rules of this house" method.

There is also the sad truth that nothing works for 100% of the people. But if you instill respect and fear into your child properly, not just physical pain but a true sense of authority, it will get to the point where as a child gets older, the need for a smack lessens. If you still need to hit your child by the time he/she turns 12, you've failed somewhere along the way. It's an early-development punishment, to drive home the fact that parents are in charge, not a life-long tool to penalize anything and everything.

bashdown:
Parents who smack their kids are retards. If my Mam tried anything like that, I would slap dat ho back in line.

Perfect example where it was needed.

poleboy:
If you need to slap your kids, you fucked up somewhere. I'm not saying it's easy to raise a child without any physical violence, but it's certainly possible.

You say that, but the current state of kids proves otherwise. I have known people who didn't believe in hitting their kids. Most of them are now either being terrorized by their now-grown-up children, or their children are in jail for minor crimes and stupid shit.

Now to be very VERY clear on this
By now you can assume I do support hitting kids. I have said, and will say again, punishment GOOD, abuse BAD.

Hitting your child must be for an infraction WORTHY of hitting them over, and applicable to their age, with the strength and/or type of smack fitting both age and offense. A 5-year-old who drops the F-Bomb, a mild spanking. A 5-year-old who took a kitchen knife and stabbed a cat and/or his lil sister, a harsh spanking. A 5-year-old who spilled his dinner, don't you dare fucking touch him.

The problem with physical punishment is it requires common sense, and we all know it's not common. But it works, works better than anything else in fact.

Darth Mobius
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3849
Joined: 26 Feb 2008

Khell tells it like it is, once again...

Cheeze_Pavilion
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2595
Joined: 10 Apr 2007

All corporeal punishment is a human rights abuse.

Children are humans

That's about all there is to it.

If you need to hit your kid, you've already failed as a parent.

The funny thing is, the people who talk about how important physical discipline is? Those are some of the most badly behaved, immature adults I've encountered. I don't think that's a coincidence.

Now that I think about it, just look at the world. Ever notice that the most advanced countries with the literate and politically enfranchised citizens tend to be the countries that have turned away from corporeal punishment? Think that's a coincidence?

Mukiwa
Copy Clerk
Posts: 91
Joined: 4 Sep 2008

Khell you've summed it up perfectly. Pretty much verbatim to what I was thinking.

meatloaf231
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1730
Joined: 13 Feb 2008

Shivari:
I smack little kids every day after they come out of the sweat shop/torture room so that they can eat their infected dinner. They then go back down and work throughout the night while occasionally getting whipped.

That's nothing. I don't even give them the dinner. I make them eat the infected mold raw.

Cheeze_Pavilion
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2595
Joined: 10 Apr 2007

cleverlymadeup:
well considering we're animals, sure a bit more evolved or so we think and all animals learn by being physically reprimanded by the parents, i think we're foolish to think our kids will learn by a method that has no foundation in the animal kingdom

I think though, in certain African wildlife preserves they've been able to bring out of control adolescent elephants into line just by exposing them to mature bull elephants: no physical discipline required, just role-modeling.

In any case, democracy has no foundation in the animal kingdom, yet lots of us hope that will work.

Cheeze_Pavilion
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2595
Joined: 10 Apr 2007

Khell_Sennet:
But if you instill respect and fear into your child properly

No one can instill respect and fear--they are mutually exclusive. Fear is simply a desire to not get caught breaking a rule. Respect is the desire to live up to a rule. In short, respect comes from recognizing the value of a rule, while fear is finding no value in a rule but only in the consequence of being caught breaking it.

That's why corporeal punishment doesn't work--it teaches the wrong lesson. It teaches fear, not respect.

Shivari
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1123
Joined: 17 Jun 2008

meatloaf231:

Shivari:
I smack little kids every day after they come out of the sweat shop/torture room so that they can eat their infected dinner. They then go back down and work throughout the night while occasionally getting whipped.

That's nothing. I don't even give them the dinner. I make them eat the infected mold raw.

I give them excessive paper cuts every morning and then pour salt on them to wake them up. I also installed moving walls that can close in with the press of the button to instill fear along with the spikes in the ceiling that slowly move down.

meatloaf231
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1730
Joined: 13 Feb 2008

Shivari:

meatloaf231:

Shivari:
I smack little kids every day after they come out of the sweat shop/torture room so that they can eat their infected dinner. They then go back down and work throughout the night while occasionally getting whipped.

That's nothing. I don't even give them the dinner. I make them eat the infected mold raw.

I give them excessive paper cuts every morning and then pour salt on them to wake them up. I also installed moving walls that can close in with the press of the button to instill fear along with the spikes in the ceiling that slowly move down.

Ok this is becoming very creepy. It's like a who's-more-sadistic contest.

Salt in the morning? I make them sleep in sacks of salt and lemon juice after the paper cuts. I also have auto-whips set up to whip them every time they talk to each other. They wear auto-whip harnesses at all times.

Aries_Split
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2076
Joined: 12 May 2008

meatloaf231:

Shivari:

meatloaf231:

Shivari:
I smack little kids every day after they come out of the sweat shop/torture room so that they can eat their infected dinner. They then go back down and work throughout the night while occasionally getting whipped.

That's nothing. I don't even give them the dinner. I make them eat the infected mold raw.

I give them excessive paper cuts every morning and then pour salt on them to wake them up. I also installed moving walls that can close in with the press of the button to instill fear along with the spikes in the ceiling that slowly move down.

Ok this is becoming very creepy. It's like a who's-more-sadistic contest.

Salt in the morning? I make them sleep in sacks of salt and lemon juice after the paper cuts. I also have auto-whips set up to whip them every time they talk to each other. They wear auto-whip harnesses at all times.

The scariest thing just happened. I reached for the phone to call child services, but right before I pressed talk, it rang. I answered it, and a voice said "Don't.". I now fear for my life.

crepesack
Beat Writer
Posts: 209
Joined: 20 May 2008

hittin children is good teach em a lesson i volunteer alot with young children for my church and now a days kids have absolutely no discipline it's ridiculous

Shivari
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1123
Joined: 17 Jun 2008

meatloaf231:

Shivari:

meatloaf231:

Shivari:
I smack little kids every day after they come out of the sweat shop/torture room so that they can eat their infected dinner. They then go back down and work throughout the night while occasionally getting whipped.

That's nothing. I don't even give them the dinner. I make them eat the infected mold raw.

I give them excessive paper cuts every morning and then pour salt on them to wake them up. I also installed moving walls that can close in with the press of the button to instill fear along with the spikes in the ceiling that slowly move down.

Ok this is becoming very creepy. It's like a who's-more-sadistic contest.

Salt in the morning? I make them sleep in sacks of salt and lemon juice after the paper cuts. I also have auto-whips set up to whip them every time they talk to each other. They wear auto-whip harnesses at all times.

I have sharp fans rotating at low areas so that if they try to move around they'll be cut quite nicely. You should see it when I cut off one of their legs, throw it to the others and tell them to kill that kid with the leg. Also I obtain samples of horrible diseases, mix them together and put it into their food. Hilarity ensues.

Aries_Split:
The scariest thing just happened. I reached for the phone to call child services, but right before I pressed talk, it rang. I answered it, and a voice said "Don't.". I now fear for my life.

If you try it again the consequences will be severe.

Eiseman
Muckraker
Posts: 297
Joined: 23 Jul 2008

Cheeze_Pavilion:

Khell_Sennet:
But if you instill respect and fear into your child properly

No one can instill respect and fear--they are mutually exclusive. Fear is simply a desire to not get caught breaking a rule. Respect is the desire to live up to a rule. In short, respect comes from recognizing the value of a rule, while fear is finding no value in a rule but only in the consequence of being caught breaking it.

I think you're looking just a little too shortly on the matter. The ultimate goal in discipline is to establish a "desire to live up to a rule," (respect) but that behavior has to be taught. Even though fear and respect don't go together, fear CAN lead to respect if used properly. By playing off a child's desire to avoid punishment, you can (hopefully) open up the child's eyes to the rest of the world, and explain to the child the true merit of the rules.

My point is, respect doesn't just jump out from nowhere. It needs a solid foundation, something humanly familiar to build upon, and fear is easily accessible. As are guilt, humiliation, shame, etc.

meatloaf231
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1730
Joined: 13 Feb 2008

Shivari:

meatloaf231:

Shivari:

meatloaf231:

Shivari:
I smack little kids every day after they come out of the sweat shop/torture room so that they can eat their infected dinner. They then go back down and work throughout the night while occasionally getting whipped.

That's nothing. I don't even give them the dinner. I make them eat the infected mold raw.

I give them excessive paper cuts every morning and then pour salt on them to wake them up. I also installed moving walls that can close in with the press of the button to instill fear along with the spikes in the ceiling that slowly move down.

Ok this is becoming very creepy. It's like a who's-more-sadistic contest.

Salt in the morning? I make them sleep in sacks of salt and lemon juice after the paper cuts. I also have auto-whips set up to whip them every time they talk to each other. They wear auto-whip harnesses at all times.

I have sharp fans rotating at low areas so that if they try to move around they'll be cut quite nicely. You should see it when I cut off one of their legs, throw it to the others and tell them to kill that kid with the leg. Also I obtain samples of horrible diseases, mix them together and put it into their food. Hilarity ensues.

Horrible diseases, eh? I keep rabid bears in the same place my children sleep in their salt sacks. Every night, after the shipment of children stuffed in boxes filled with scorpions, I count them. If there are fifty children, I put out forty-eight sacks of salt. See, the salt hides their scent from the bears. In the salt room I place various jagged, pointed objects and turn out the lights. There is a timer set to release the bears after one minute.

The bears never need feeding.

Cheeze_Pavilion
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2595
Joined: 10 Apr 2007

Eiseman:

Cheeze_Pavilion:

Khell_Sennet:
But if you instill respect and fear into your child properly

No one can instill respect and fear--they are mutually exclusive. Fear is simply a desire to not get caught breaking a rule. Respect is the desire to live up to a rule. In short, respect comes from recognizing the value of a rule, while fear is finding no value in a rule but only in the consequence of being caught breaking it.

I think you're looking just a little too shortly on the matter. The ultimate goal in discipline is to establish a "desire to live up to a rule," (respect) but that behavior has to be taught. Even though fear and respect don't go together, fear CAN lead to respect if used properly. By playing off a child's desire to avoid punishment, you can (hopefully) open up the child's eyes to the rest of the world, and explain to the child the true merit of the rules.

There's a difference between a desire to avoid punishment and actual fear. Fear is an emotional state of distress. A desire to avoid punishment is a calm, rational decision that doesn't preclude respect in the way fear does.

My point is, respect doesn't just jump out from nowhere. It needs a solid foundation, something humanly familiar to build upon, and fear is easily accessible. As are guilt, humiliation, shame, etc.

I wouldn't call those solid foundations, though. I'd call all of those foundations that only make the later collapse even more catastrophic.

And like you said, they are the 'easy' way out. The hard way is much better in the long run, one that builds on things like the natural altruism that basically all primates have.

Lazzi
Muckraker
Posts: 333
Joined: 12 Apr 2008

There is a fine line of the subject.

While im all for smackign an 8 year old on the back of the head (lightly please! we only want them surpirsed not hurt)for doing some thing increbly stupid but not dangerus.

I do how ever have issue with having the physical being the punishment in and of it self.

Reaperman Wompa
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1899
Joined: 6 Aug 2008

I think a small smack at the appropriate moment can work, though if you always do it then that's wrong. For instance you have to teach your child to react to you saying stop, if they don't you warn them, if they continue a smack on the hand or bottom tells them that they cannot do that in future, if they even start you say keep doing that and i will smack you. My parents did this and it worked quite well. Though i want to hear what most people here consider a "smack", i consider it the same thing as a slap on the hand, while some people here define it as abuse.

Ivoryagent
BANNED
Posts: 827
Joined: 9 Aug 2008

What I hate about the mindset of parents in America these days is that they feel a need to become their child's friend.

What?? Why??

A parent has ONE responsibility and only ONE. To provide food, water, warm clothes and a bed to sleep in.
If the stupid cunt won't listen to them for that, the parents are well within their rights to smack that ingrate.

User was banned for: I've been pawned..... T__T. (7 days)
GothmogII
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 705
Joined: 6 Apr 2008

Reaperman Wompa:
I think a small smack at the appropriate moment can work, though if you always do it then that's wrong. For instance you have to teach your child to react to you saying stop, if they don't you warn them, if they continue a smack on the hand or bottom tells them that they cannot do that in future, if they even start you say keep doing that and i will smack you. My parents did this and it worked quite well. Though i want to hear what most people here consider a "smack", i consider it the same thing as a slap on the hand, while some people here define it as abuse.

Well, full force open palm in the case of my parents. My younger brothers and sisters...ehh, the wooden spoon, yeah... Although, before I moved out, I did notice a drop off in actual physical violence. Now they just shout at each other, a lot. I suppose this is both to do with that a: My brothers are now in their early teens, which...may give them some notion of retaliation, and I guess my parents realise that too. And b: They're also caught up somewhat with the notion that you just don't do that to children any more, as said moving along with the times.

I was kind of resentful however. When I was younger, after my mother and father had divorced, we moved about a bit, and then moved out and away from our home town. Then of course she meets my stepfather. He's wasn't an overly mean spirited person, but I didn't take it very well. I must have been 6 or 7 I guess. Anyway...of course I start bed-wetting, heh even shat myself once or twice, now key at this point, you may think oh, perfect time to console your child and find out what's wrong right? Nope. Got hit, choked (not seriously, but with force) and what culminated in myself being paraded in front of my mother in a diaper. Now...at 7 years old, this is a most horrifically humiliating thing to do to a child, or at least to my mind. But hey, it worked, don't recall ever soiling myself after that. Too busy thinking up ever more elaborate ways to murder, torture and maim my stepfather. Of course, I eventually came to the realisation that, enacting any such criminal acts would not only demean me, but would in essence allowing him to 'win'.

So, humiliation does work eh? ;D

The_root_of_all_evil
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 4579
Joined: 13 Feb 2008

Darth Mobius:
Khell tells it like it is, once again...

To a point...

There's a number of adults who take great pleasure in bullying kids, and there's a line that has to be trod.

Smacking the kid for everything will backfire badly when they reach puberty.

To those that don't agree with smacking, how would you 'inform' a 2 year old about not pulling that boiling kettle down?

Xhumed
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1927
Joined: 15 Jun 2008

The_root_of_all_evil:

Darth Mobius:
Khell tells it like it is, once again...

To a point...

There's a number of adults who take great pleasure in bullying kids, and there's a line that has to be trod.

Smacking the kid for everything will backfire badly when they reach puberty.

To those that don't agree with smacking, how would you 'inform' a 2 year old about not pulling that boiling kettle down?

There is a big difference between disciplining a child, and bullying/ beating them. Physical discipline must be consistent if you're going to use it at all. I was beaten, and it leaves a horrible, quite lasting impression on you. I'm reluctant to use physical discipline on any of my future children for that reason. There are ways to discipline children without resorting to smacking- Jo "Supernanny" Frost has demonstrated this quite admirably.
I don't think you need to smack a child to stop them pulling a boiling kettle down, you'd be suprised what a firm tone can do. But really, you shouldn't leave a hazard like that within the reach of children anyway.

Khell_Sennet
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3507
Joined: 25 Jan 2008

Seems like some people here (won't say who) seem to take our/my/the approval for physical discipline as an intent to hit a child for everything they do wrong.

I'm not here preaching that hitting a child is a cure-all or even a good method of punishment. I'm trying to say that in the big bag of parental controls, it should be on the list. Think of it as a sliding scale, with minor "bad" things on one end, and major bad behavior/acts on the other end. Hitting a child would fall in somewhere around an 8/10 offense, like bullying another kid or throwing rocks through the neighbor's windshield. As I said, parenting takes common sense... Most people don't have this sense, it really isn't common at all, and we're all damned because of it.

But to think you can raise your child without ever raising your hand to them, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. YOU are the type of parent who has raised this horrible, horrible batch of brats that all deserve a 64th Trimester Abortion. The kinds of kids who throw a temper tantrum in the middle of a store, start screaming obscenities at their parents and proclaiming they hate them and wish they were dead, as they throw items off the shelves and start kicking passing customers... I've seen these kids, and the mothers that raised them. Those kids need a good asswhooping, and the parents too.

Tenmar
Beat Writer
Posts: 220
Joined: 20 Feb 2008

Khell_Sennet:
Seems like some people here (won't say who) seem to take our/my/the approval for physical discipline as an intent to hit a child for everything they do wrong.

I'm not here preaching that hitting a child is a cure-all or even a good method of punishment. I'm trying to say that in the big bag of parental controls, it should be on the list. Think of it as a sliding scale, with minor "bad" things on one end, and major bad behavior/acts on the other end. Hitting a child would fall in somewhere around an 8/10 offense, like bullying another kid or throwi