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Poll: The world's most relevant question ever


Who would win, Vampires or Zombies?
Vampires
33.3% (43)
33.3% (43)
Zombies
21.7% (28)
21.7% (28)
Crabs
45% (58)
45% (58)
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Gxas
Press Junketeer
Posts: 464
Joined: 4 Sep 2008

Mstrswrd:
Zombies just kind of... limped. Slowly.

Zombies zombie. They zombie around looking for people to kill. It's a verb now.

Janus Vesta
Muckraker
Posts: 268
Joined: 25 Mar 2008

Vampires. Zombies are mindless husks which only want to infect others. Vampires are smart, strong, fast (not as fast as were-wolves though), and are very smart. Zombies are unorganised and die off when they run out of food (lasting much longer than when they were humans however), while vampires can organise, can survive in stasis when a food supply is unavailable and can survive on pig/sheep blood. Also, if it's an eastern european vampire they can most likely fly/transform into a flying creature.

In the end neither zombies nor vampires would succeed, instead it would be the ever increasing zombie vampires.

Jamanticus
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1448
Joined: 7 Sep 2008

Janus Vesta:
Vampires. Zombies are mindless husks which only want to infect others. Vampires are smart, strong, fast (not as fast as were-wolves though), and are very smart. Zombies are unorganised and die off when they run out of food (lasting much longer than when they were humans however), while vampires can organise, can survive in stasis when a food supply is unavailable and can survive on pig/sheep blood. Also, if it's an eastern european vampire they can most likely fly/transform into a flying creature.

In the end neither zombies nor vampires would succeed, instead it would be the ever increasing zombie vampires.

How would a zombie vampire work? A zombie bitten by a vampire? The other way round?

Agreed on the vamps winning, though... I think that the vampires could be as fast as werewolves, though. You know how vampires have that cool habit of being in one place, then instantaneously reappearing right behind you or whatnot? I'd like to see a werewolf do that.

I think we need a definition of exactly what types of vampires and what types of zombies we'd have combating each other though. Then we can have some real fun.

OuroborosChoked
Press Junketeer
Posts: 435
Joined: 20 Aug 2008

jamanticus:

How would a zombie vampire work? A zombie bitten by a vampire? The other way round?

A vampire who finishes what's on his plate?

Undead squared?

Blackrose11
Anonymous Source
Posts: 5
Joined: 9 Oct 2008

What is your definition of survive? Like.. Kill all the zombies?
I don't know how many vampires are, but its common sense that zombies will outnumber vampires by a dramatic amount.

L1250
Muckraker
Posts: 254
Joined: 13 Aug 2008

EnzoHonda:
Beware the Un-undead. Double undead... So cool.

Actually, I believe that just makes them dead.

trademespots:
plus they kill their victims, not change them into one of their own.

It depends on which version you're following the rules of.

Before I decide which would win, are they just vampires and zombies or are they ninja vampires and pirate zombies?

Amnestic
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2989
Joined: 22 Aug 2008

I don't know how many vampires are, but its common sense that zombies will outnumber vampires by a dramatic amount.

The true strategist recognises that numbers are not everything. Zombies are a blunt tool, a hammer that is powerful but rarely hits the pressure spot required to cripple a foe. Vampires are smart, cunning and quick, more like an assassin's dagger. Both have their merits, but I still believe vampires would come out on top.

Blackrose11
Anonymous Source
Posts: 5
Joined: 9 Oct 2008

We are talking about out-numbering by the hundred-millions. Who do you think could survive more casualties? Zombies are always underestimated, and that could very well be yours and the Vampire's downfall.
And..Vampires can not eat dead blood. If a vampire consumes a zombie's blood, it'll die.

Janus Vesta
Muckraker
Posts: 268
Joined: 25 Mar 2008

jamanticus:

Janus Vesta:
Vampires. Zombies are mindless husks which only want to infect others. Vampires are smart, strong, fast (not as fast as were-wolves though), and are very smart. Zombies are unorganised and die off when they run out of food (lasting much longer than when they were humans however), while vampires can organise, can survive in stasis when a food supply is unavailable and can survive on pig/sheep blood. Also, if it's an eastern european vampire they can most likely fly/transform into a flying creature.

In the end neither zombies nor vampires would succeed, instead it would be the ever increasing zombie vampires.

How would a zombie vampire work? A zombie bitten by a vampire? The other way round?

Agreed on the vamps winning, though... I think that the vampires could be as fast as werewolves, though. You know how vampires have that cool habit of being in one place, then instantaneously reappearing right behind you or whatnot? I'd like to see a werewolf do that.

I think we need a definition of exactly what types of vampires and what types of zombies we'd have combating each other though. Then we can have some real fun.

Vampires max speed is constant. The fastest vampire won't get faster, werewolves speed increases with the moon light. No moon and they're slower than vampires, a full moon and they're speed scares the shit out of vampires. But vampires can get werewolves while they're in human form.

And vampires can transform at will and trick a werewolf.

Back to zombies. Vampires would probably force the surviving humans to help them by supplying them with blood and the vamps would keep the humans alive.

Amnestic
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2989
Joined: 22 Aug 2008

Blackrose11:
We are talking about out-numbering by the hundred-millions. Who do you think could survive more casualties? Zombies are always underestimated, and that could very well be yours and the Vampire's downfall.
And..Vampires can not eat dead blood. If a vampire consumes a zombie's blood, it'll die.

We've already made this point, either: Corral humans and live off them bit by bit, keeping them safe from the zombies as a food source or drink animal blood or don't drink blood at all and take a leaf out of Pratchett's Black Ribboners.

Also, zombie senses aren't that adept. They'll eventually starve, vampires could easily win a war of atrition by living in a remote area with little to no other settlements. Zombies wouldn't find them there and they'd be free to 'live' until the zombies have all died out. Perhaps going to Alaska a la Resident Evil film 3?

Janus Vesta
Muckraker
Posts: 268
Joined: 25 Mar 2008

Blackrose11:
We are talking about out-numbering by the hundred-millions. Who do you think could survive more casualties? Zombies are always underestimated, and that could very well be yours and the Vampire's downfall.
And..Vampires can not eat dead blood. If a vampire consumes a zombie's blood, it'll die.

But vampires can survive on pig and sheep blood, and if they are forced the blood of other mammals.

Also, if you hurt a zombie he's hurt for good. Hurt a vampire and he'll regenerate the next time he feeds.

Mr. Moose
Muckraker
Posts: 331
Joined: 3 Oct 2008

The REAL question is this.

Could the Norse Gods survive a horde of Vampire Zombie Crabs.

Amnestic
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2989
Joined: 22 Aug 2008

Mr. Moose:
The REAL question is this.

Could the Norse Gods survive a horde of Vampire Zombie Crabs.

Yes. Thor would smite them with his mighty hammer.

Mstrswrd
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 549
Joined: 2 Mar 2008

Gxas:

Zombies zombie. They zombie around looking for people to kill. It's a verb now.

...Okay. I'll have to remember that.

(ZHU) Michael
Beat Writer
Posts: 222
Joined: 10 Sep 2008

Fools, Vampires can become zombies (they would lose there power but it can happen) zombies cannot become vampires, I've already adressed this. I dont care how much smarter a vampire is they simply cannot over come the numbers with a small food suply. zombies don't get hurt at all, they feel no pain and will keep coming, a vampire needs to sleep for 12 hours because they're layabouts and scallywags. zombies wouldn't know to attack the heart, this is true but they will rip them apart and eventually they'll eat a vapires heart thus killing it. a vampire may be stronger and smarter but will never be able to match the dedication of zombies. As for flying, don't even play, this is a realistic discussion. vampires can't wait it out either as there would be so few survivors and would need to feed, a zombies isn't motivated by it's hunger and in fact doesn't ever need to feed, they can last untill they decompose so far that they have no muscle left (3-5 years) whereas if a vampire doesn't eat for a week they go insane and kill themselves or what ever they do.

also the crabs was intended only to get iron ninja in, i didn't expect anyone to vote for it but him

Amnestic
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2989
Joined: 22 Aug 2008

(ZHU) Michael:
Fools, Vampires can become zombies (they would lose there power but it can happen) zombies cannot become vampires, I've already adressed this. I dont care how much smarter a vampire is they simply cannot over come the numbers with a small food suply. zombies don't get hurt at all, they feel no pain and will keep coming, a vampire needs to sleep for 12 hours because they're layabouts and scallywags. zombies wouldn't know to attack the heart, this is true but they will rip them apart and eventually they'll eat a vapires heart thus killing it. a vampire may be stronger and smarter but will never be able to match the dedication of zombies. As for flying, don't even play, this is a realistic discussion. vampires can't wait it out either as there would be so few survivors and would need to feed, a zombies isn't motivated by it's hunger and in fact doesn't ever need to feed, they can last untill they decompose so far that they have no muscle left (3-5 years) whereas if a vampire doesn't eat for a week they go insane and kill themselves or what ever they do.

also the crabs was intended only to get iron inja in, i didn't expect anyone to vote for it but him

You didn't address my idea for corralling any human survivors and keeping them in a secure remote location as a food source or the idea of using other mammal blood. It may be less effective than human, but it's better than nothing.

Mr. Moose
Muckraker
Posts: 331
Joined: 3 Oct 2008

Amnestic:

Mr. Moose:
The REAL question is this.

Could the Norse Gods survive a horde of Vampire Zombie Crabs.

Yes. Thor would smite them with his mighty hammer.

You can't crack shells with a hammer!
You must have a tool made for the use of cracking crab shells!

Amnestic
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2989
Joined: 22 Aug 2008

Mr. Moose:

Amnestic:

Mr. Moose:
The REAL question is this.

Could the Norse Gods survive a horde of Vampire Zombie Crabs.

Yes. Thor would smite them with his mighty hammer.

You can't crack shells with a hammer!
You must have a tool made for the use of cracking crab shells!

Odin's spear then.

Janus Vesta
Muckraker
Posts: 268
Joined: 25 Mar 2008

(ZHU) Michael:
Fools, Vampires can become zombies (they would lose there power but it can happen) zombies cannot become vampires, I've already adressed this. I dont care how much smarter a vampire is they simply cannot over come the numbers with a small food suply. zombies don't get hurt at all, they feel no pain and will keep coming, a vampire needs to sleep for 12 hours because they're layabouts and scallywags. zombies wouldn't know to attack the heart, this is true but they will rip them apart and eventually they'll eat a vapires heart thus killing it. a vampire may be stronger and smarter but will never be able to match the dedication of zombies. As for flying, don't even play, this is a realistic discussion. vampires can't wait it out either as there would be so few survivors and would need to feed, a zombies isn't motivated by it's hunger and in fact doesn't ever need to feed, they can last untill they decompose so far that they have no muscle left (3-5 years) whereas if a vampire doesn't eat for a week they go insane and kill themselves or what ever they do.

also the crabs was intended only to get iron ninja in, i didn't expect anyone to vote for it but him

Vampires don't need to sleep. They do it to ensure they don't come into contact with sunlight. All a vampire has to do is is cover his whole body and he can survive.

soulsabr
Anonymous Source
Posts: 2
Joined: 9 Oct 2008

needausername:
Zombies could survive without blood. And eat the vampires when they got weak.

Although if a vampire bit a zombie, would you get a vampire/zombie hybrid? A zompire or a vambie? They would kickass.

Yea, that is all we'd need. Some limping, moaning, bloodsucking being that dies when sunlight hits it running around sucking everything dry before devouring its brains. Or a bat that just kinda flies into everything. Or worse, a fog that looks like the San Francisco skyline on a good day.

(ZHU) Michael
Beat Writer
Posts: 222
Joined: 10 Sep 2008

Amnestic:

You didn't address my idea for corralling any human survivors and keeping them in a secure remote location as a food source or the idea of using other mammal blood. It may be less effective than human, but it's better than nothing.

don't make me laugh you snivelling putz, by the time the vampires realised that there was an epidemic they wouldn't have time to set up a system that complex, how will they ration out the blood? or harvest it? or keep people from killing themselves? vampires are notoriously shitty at spread sheets, they can't organize that fast

Mr. Moose
Muckraker
Posts: 331
Joined: 3 Oct 2008

Amnestic:

Mr. Moose:

Amnestic:

Mr. Moose:
The REAL question is this.

Could the Norse Gods survive a horde of Vampire Zombie Crabs.

Yes. Thor would smite them with his mighty hammer.

You can't crack shells with a hammer!
You must have a tool made for the use of cracking crab shells!

Odin's spear then.

You can't skewer a crab, how would you eat it if the shell is still on?

xitel
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 728
Joined: 13 Aug 2008

Crabs would just sit around while the vampires and zombies killed each other, then snip at the survivors until they're the only things left. So CRABS

Amnestic
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2989
Joined: 22 Aug 2008

(ZHU) Michael:

Amnestic:

You didn't address my idea for corralling any human survivors and keeping them in a secure remote location as a food source or the idea of using other mammal blood. It may be less effective than human, but it's better than nothing.

don't make me laugh you snivelling putz, by the time the vampires realised that there was an epidemic they wouldn't have time to set up a system that complex, how will they ration out the blood? or harvest it? or keep people from killing themselves? vampires are notoriously shitty at spread sheets, they can't organize that fast

It's simple. They pull an Arnie. The whole "Come with me if you want to live" is probably slightly more convincing with zombies knocking on their door. They take on a symbiotic relationship with uninfected humans rather than a parasitic one. You're underestimating the intelligence of vampires.

Janus Vesta
Muckraker
Posts: 268
Joined: 25 Mar 2008

(ZHU) Michael:

Amnestic:

You didn't address my idea for corralling any human survivors and keeping them in a secure remote location as a food source or the idea of using other mammal blood. It may be less effective than human, but it's better than nothing.

don't make me laugh you snivelling putz, by the time the vampires realised that there was an epidemic they wouldn't have time to set up a system that complex, how will they ration out the blood? or harvest it? or keep people from killing themselves? vampires are notoriously shitty at spread sheets, they can't organize that fast

Zombie infestations spread at night. Vampires are the masters of the night. The vampires would be the first to know what's happening.

(ZHU) Michael
Beat Writer
Posts: 222
Joined: 10 Sep 2008

Janus Vesta:

Vampires don't need to sleep. They do it to ensure they don't come into contact with sunlight. All a vampire has to do is is cover his whole body and he can survive.

than howcome in everywork ever when you open the coffin they can't be awaken no matter how loudly you trudge about untill you stab them in the heart and then they're all "Blah, I suck almost as bad as a mummy and now i'm dead"? do you know how hard it would be to compleately keep all the sun rays off your body, no sunscreen or tent can cover you from them, sun penitrates very well, and how come they aren't affected by the moon? it's the reflections of the sun so it should hurt them also. There I've logically proved that if there are vampires they can move outdoors at anytime ever or they'll die.

Amnestic
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2989
Joined: 22 Aug 2008

(ZHU) Michael:

Janus Vesta:

Vampires don't need to sleep. They do it to ensure they don't come into contact with sunlight. All a vampire has to do is is cover his whole body and he can survive.

than howcome in everywork ever when you open the coffin they can't be awaken no matter how loudly you trudge about untill you sab them in the heart and then they're all "Blah, I suck almost as bad as a mummy and now i'm dead"? do you know how hard it would be to compleately keep all the sun rays off your body, no sunscreen or tent can cover you from them, sun penitrates very well, and how come they aren't affected by the moon? it's the reflections of the sun so it should hurt them also. There I've logically proved that if there are vampires they can move outdoors at anytime ever or they'll die.

Logically a zombie shouldn't be able to move at all. The lack of digestive systems means that the brains/flesh it eats would just roll out of its rotten stomach and it'd soon run out of energy and collapse. nevermind that as soon as its leg muscles have rotted slightly it'd become unable to walk. Don't even try pulling logic into this.

(ZHU) Michael
Beat Writer
Posts: 222
Joined: 10 Sep 2008

Janus Vesta:

Zombie infestations spread at night. Vampires are the masters of the night. The vampires would be the first to know what's happening.

but zombies also hunt during the day, once the day rolls around vampires are useless

(ZHU) Michael
Beat Writer
Posts: 222
Joined: 10 Sep 2008

Amnestic:

Logically a zombie shouldn't be able to move at all. The lack of digestive systems means that the brains/flesh it eats would just roll out of its rotten stomach and it'd soon run out of energy and collapse. nevermind that as soon as its leg muscles have rotted slightly it'd become unable to walk. Don't even try pulling logic into this.

shit someone else can use logic, im screwed

Blackrose11
Anonymous Source
Posts: 5
Joined: 9 Oct 2008

Zombies do not suffer from anything like bleeding to death. They do not have to eat, sleep, or breathe. Zombie infections spread anytime. Vampires are temporarily stopped from wounds. Zombies keep going at you, no matter the wound.
Unless you hit the brain. Not the head, kill the brain.

Blackrose11
Anonymous Source
Posts: 5
Joined: 9 Oct 2008

Zombies do not need energy. The consumption is merely a effect of psychosis. It only eats out of habit. The eaten flesh rolls out of its stomach, it'll keep going.
Look up Max Brooks, he is a investigator on zombies.
:D

Man_In_Gauze
Paperboy
Posts: 45
Joined: 2 Mar 2008

Crabs could take down Big Boss. Crabs win.

Janus Vesta
Muckraker
Posts: 268
Joined: 25 Mar 2008

(ZHU) Michael:

Janus Vesta:

Vampires don't need to sleep. They do it to ensure they don't come into contact with sunlight. All a vampire has to do is is cover his whole body and he can survive.

than howcome in everywork ever when you open the coffin they can't be awaken no matter how loudly you trudge about untill you stab them in the heart and then they're all "Blah, I suck almost as bad as a mummy and now i'm dead"? do you know how hard it would be to compleately keep all the sun rays off your body, no sunscreen or tent can cover you from them, sun penitrates very well, and how come they aren't affected by the moon? it's the reflections of the sun so it should hurt them also. There I've logically proved that if there are vampires they can move outdoors at anytime ever or they'll die.

It's not sunlight, it's UV rays. They are lethal to vampires but in thick clothes or at night the UV rays which reach the vampire are not lethal, just painful. And you can't wake a vampire because they are heavy sleepers.

(ZHU) Michael
Beat Writer
Posts: 222
Joined: 10 Sep 2008