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Poll: The world's most relevant question ever


Who would win, Vampires or Zombies?
Vampires
33.3% (43)
33.3% (43)
Zombies
21.7% (28)
21.7% (28)
Crabs
45% (58)
45% (58)
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SnarkyAI
Anonymous Source
Posts: 1
Joined: 9 Oct 2008

Both Zombies and vampires are dead so it's kinda Moot.

That and they both seem to have a craving for humans.

The Iron Ninja
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2977
Joined: 13 Aug 2008

Taxi Driver:

The Iron Ninja:

*Initiates the scuttle dance of victory*

Crabs really aren't that great, toddlers could easily defeat them.

Have you not seen my picture earlier? Just try and explain how that todler could possibly win.
(evidently this is apparently the color known as "Taxi Driver"

Taxi Driver
BANNED
Posts: 740
Joined: 19 Jun 2008

The Iron Ninja:

Taxi Driver:

The Iron Ninja:

*Initiates the scuttle dance of victory*

Crabs really aren't that great, toddlers could easily defeat them.

Have you not seen my picture earlier? Just try and explain how that todler could possibly win.
(evidently this is apparently the color known as "Taxi Driver"

You're looking at it wrong, the crab isn't big the person is really small.
Crabs are weak!

User was banned for: I'm Finished. (Permanent)
The Iron Ninja
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2977
Joined: 13 Aug 2008

Taxi Driver:

The Iron Ninja:

Taxi Driver:

The Iron Ninja:

*Initiates the scuttle dance of victory*

Crabs really aren't that great, toddlers could easily defeat them.

Have you not seen my picture earlier? Just try and explain how that todler could possibly win.
(evidently this is apparently the color known as "Taxi Driver"

You're looking at it wrong, the crab isn't big the person is really small.
Crabs are weak!

It's all a matter of perspective Taxi driver, to the crab it may seem like the person is really small, but in reality it is the crab that is big.

Well it's a todler, of course he's really small. ("Iron Ninja" is apparently the colour of blood)

gigastrike
Beat Writer
Posts: 215
Joined: 13 Jul 2008

Don't vampires have the power to control the undead as their minions or something? I think I remember hearing that.

Janus Vesta
Muckraker
Posts: 268
Joined: 25 Mar 2008

gigastrike:
Don't vampires have the power to control the undead as their minions or something? I think I remember hearing that.

But they have to raise those undead themselves. Undead which already exist are immune to a vampire's power.

Cheeze_Pavilion
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2611
Joined: 10 Apr 2007

I always thought there should be a movie where if you as a normal human eat a zombie's brains you turn into a vampire, and that the zombies don't attack the vampires because they aren't alive.

Noamuth
Press Junketeer
Posts: 401
Joined: 16 May 2008

gigastrike:
Don't vampires have the power to control the undead as their minions or something? I think I remember hearing that.

Oh dear Lord..

L1250
Muckraker
Posts: 254
Joined: 13 Aug 2008

Okay, it looks like vampires win unless/until we restart the argument. Hopefully, the discussion will continue eventually. I like arguing over pointless hypothetical situations. But until then, my lack of vampirism means I must sleep.

Janus Vesta
Muckraker
Posts: 268
Joined: 25 Mar 2008

Cheeze_Pavilion:
I always thought there should be a movie where if you as a normal human eat a zombie's brains you turn into a vampire, and that the zombies don't attack the vampires because they aren't alive.

What?

And zombies attack threats and humans, seeing as vampires look, act like and can transform into humans I'm sure the zombies would attack. And vampires would start it to stop the devistation of their food supply.

Janus Vesta
Muckraker
Posts: 268
Joined: 25 Mar 2008

Janus Vesta:

gigastrike:
Don't vampires have the power to control the undead as their minions or something? I think I remember hearing that.

But they have to raise those undead themselves. Undead which already exist are immune to a vampire's power.

Wait.. no. It's not undead it's animals. They have some control over the animal they dransform into.

Limos
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 632
Joined: 15 Jun 2008

Vampires and Zombies are destroyed the countless horde of the Crab People as they swarm up from their watery fortresses and sheer off undead heads with their pincers of doom. They cannot be hit as they are always strafing and no matter how many you kill the crabs in the ocean will always produce more. Once the zombies and vamps have eaten all the remaining humans their numbers are limited and they will eventually lose to the Crab.

L1250
Muckraker
Posts: 254
Joined: 13 Aug 2008

It looks like there's still some discussion going on. Is the argument returning? I'm fine with ignoring my necessity to sleep if it means more vampires vs. zombies.

Cheeze_Pavilion
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2611
Joined: 10 Apr 2007

Janus Vesta:

Cheeze_Pavilion:
I always thought there should be a movie where if you as a normal human eat a zombie's brains you turn into a vampire, and that the zombies don't attack the vampires because they aren't alive.

What?

And zombies attack threats and humans, seeing as vampires look, act like and can transform into humans I'm sure the zombies would attack. And vampires would start it to stop the devistation of their food supply.

Not true--zombies don't attack mannequins so they don't attack things that just look human, although that would be awesome if in a zombie movie they showed a scene where the survivors took refuge in a test dummy factory and the zombies just went crazy on the test dummies. I've always thought that zombies were attracted to human flesh, and vampires are undead flesh, same as zombies. Or at least, they are both affected by the cleric's Turn Undead! :-D

And now that you mention it, that would be the premise of the movie--vampires in fortified towns feeding off of humans that have sought safety in return for security, while other humans are trying to fend off zombies out in the wild. I wonder if it would make a better movie to have the Free Humans being chased by Vampire Slavers too, or if the Vampires were in contact with the Free Humans. Maybe so that they could prevent the creation of Ronin Vampires, Free Humans who were trying to capture Zombies to turn themselves into Vampires. And maybe the Vampire Towns were at war with each other, or something.

That would be awesome.

Jamanticus
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1448
Joined: 7 Sep 2008

L1250:
It looks like there's still some discussion going on. Is the argument returning? I'm fine with ignoring my necessity to sleep if it means more vampires vs. zombies.

Alright, an argument restartification (I'm looking forward to this!).

Now, considering the powers, abilities, and limitations of popular vampires and zombies, which undead would emerge the victor in a large-scale confrontation between the two aforementioned races?

Here is a list that I have composed of said abilities:

Vampires:
supernatural strength
supernatural speed
some can fly (the true vampires who are born as vampires)
very intelligent
good sense of self-preservation, so one will flee if it sees the need to
can't go out in the daytime
can regenerate wounds
need blood to be at their peak (and regenerate wounds faster)

Zombies:
can't be killed except by severely damaging the brain
come after prey in swarms
are more numerous than the vampires
can infect normal humans and turn them into zombies
don't feel pain
unnaturally strong
relentless and will never back down
slow-moving
have very simple minds

Anything you want to add or remove before we begin the debate?

L1250
Muckraker
Posts: 254
Joined: 13 Aug 2008

jamanticus:

L1250:
It looks like there's still some discussion going on. Is the argument returning? I'm fine with ignoring my necessity to sleep if it means more vampires vs. zombies.

Alright, an argument restartification (I'm looking forward to this!).

Now, considering the powers, abilities, and limitations of popular vampires and zombies, which undead would emerge the victor in a large-scale confrontation between the two aforementioned races?

Hell yeah! Restartification!

insertusernamehere2
Paperboy
Posts: 22
Joined: 19 Jun 2008

Amnestic:

jamanticus:

Janus Vesta:

Everyone ignores that vampires can move at seemingly the speed of light and can punch through a concrete wall.

Yes, it's a wonder that a "Don't Ignore Vampire Coolness" campaign hasn't sprung up anywhere.......

Does anyone know how long a vampire can go without drinking blood?

Depends on what your source material for a vampire is. People differ on opinion very widely as mentioned in this thread, actually. Some can't go for more than a week, some can go forever.

the zombies would swarm, no matter how stong a vampire is (they've never seemed all that great to be honest) they just couldn't handle the numbers and once you're eaten you can regenerate, unless they could regrow all limbs but if that was the case why haven't vampires just cut themselves in half infinately to make an army of themselves

Vampires can, in addition to moving really freaking fast, jump quite high. You can't swarm what you can't catch. Zombies are slow and lumbering. As I've said, a group of vampires, or even one, could easily win a war of atrition against the zombies.

(ZHU) Michael:

Janus Vesta:
Everyone ignores that vampires can move at seemingly the speed of light and can punch through a concrete wall.

do you have any idea of the enegry it would take to move even close to the speed of light, a vampire would have to be constantly bloated with blood to even move at mach 1

Know what we need in this thread? More logic boobies.

Here ya go.
(.)(.)

darkstone
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 955
Joined: 10 Sep 2008

crabs.
you know how you have zombie swarms numbering in the thousands even hundreds of thousands, well crab swarms number in the trillions.

L1250
Muckraker
Posts: 254
Joined: 13 Aug 2008

Hm, it appears as though the restartification has failed. Very well then, the restartification of the restartification shall resume tomorrow after I get some sleep so that I can think properly.

Jamanticus
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1448
Joined: 7 Sep 2008

L1250:
Hm, it appears as though the restartification has failed. Very well then, the restartification of the restartification shall resume tomorrow after I get some sleep so that I can think properly.

Agreed. Be ready with some creative scenarios....I'll be waiting......

Unreality
Paperboy
Posts: 21
Joined: 7 May 2008

i would defeat zombies and vampires cause by then i'l have transferred my brain into a super robot

except for the crabs i'd be screwed then

on a more serious note i'm going with vampires simply because they are more organized and can team up too survive with eachother and surviving humans

L1250
Muckraker
Posts: 254
Joined: 13 Aug 2008

jamanticus:

L1250:
Hm, it appears as though the restartification has failed. Very well then, the restartification of the restartification shall resume tomorrow after I get some sleep so that I can think properly.

Agreed. Be ready with some creative scenarios....I'll be waiting......

Okay, restartification ideas time:
Re-discussing the established scenario
Vampires vs. zombies in an all-out war with even numbers
Vampires vs. zombies vs. sparkly vampires
Vampires vs. zombies vs. werewolves
Ninja vampires vs. pirate zombies
Ninja vampires vs. pirate zombies vs. robot werewolves.
Any combination of the listed scenarios.
Are these good enough to start with?

insertusernamehere2
Paperboy
Posts: 22
Joined: 19 Jun 2008

Hell, yes!

Janus Vesta
Muckraker
Posts: 268
Joined: 25 Mar 2008

L1250:

jamanticus:

L1250:
Hm, it appears as though the restartification has failed. Very well then, the restartification of the restartification shall resume tomorrow after I get some sleep so that I can think properly.

Agreed. Be ready with some creative scenarios....I'll be waiting......

Okay, restartification ideas time:
Re-discussing the established scenario
Vampires vs. zombies in an all-out war with even numbers
Vampires vs. zombies vs. sparkly vampires
Vampires vs. zombies vs. werewolves
Ninja vampires vs. pirate zombies
Ninja vampires vs. pirate zombies vs. robot werewolves.
Any combination of the listed scenarios.
Are these good enough to start with?

A war with even numbers?

That could actually cripple the vampires. As vampires are solitary and move on their own or in small packs of 3-4 a whole army would turn into chaos. The vampires would have competition from both thousands of zombies and tousands of vampires. A civil war would break out between the vampires as they masacre each other.

While this is happening the zombies would ravish the human population, along with mass vampire feeding. Once the civil war died down (with no real victor but shattered numbers) the vampires would be faced with millions of zombies and a quickly diminishing food source. Forced to live off the blood of other animals the vampires power would be severely drained. The vampires would be forced into using psuedo-guerrilla tactics to whittle the zombie horde down while also gathering human survivors to feed off and breed.

They would need to secure small pockets of land to support the humans and protect them while searching for survivors and trying to cull the zombies horde which, while unorganised, would out number vampires and humans at a rate of atleast 1000:1.

L1250
Muckraker
Posts: 254
Joined: 13 Aug 2008

Janus Vesta:

A war with even numbers?

That could actually cripple the vampires. As vampires are solitary and move on their own or in small packs of 3-4 a whole army would turn into chaos.

Yes, it would most likely cause problems for the vampires, but that makes it a more interesting scenario, which is the point, really. I also have a new idea: What if there was still a full human population in addition to the undead factions? The humans would most likely try to fight both vampires and zombies and the two groups would also be competing for food, making a very interesting three-way war.

Jamanticus
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1448
Joined: 7 Sep 2008

Okay, for the even numbers scenario... The vampires would certainly have a bit of competition within their ranks, but all of that would soon sort itself out as the most powerful and capable vampires rose to the top and established a complex hierarchy.

Once that happened, though, the zombies would indeed be at the vampires' doorstep.

The vampires would have to all scatter to different locations in order to preserve their undeaths. This would lead to, like Janus Vesta said, guerrilla warfare on the vampires' part. The vampires would pick off zombies with several cool vampire weapons and soon herd the zombies into a small, isolated area. From there, the vampires would drop a wonderful tactical nuclear bomb on the zombies, obliterating them.

EDIT: Now, if the human population was still as large as it is now, like L1250 said, it would really liven things up. The humans could be one of three things to the vampires/zombies:
1: A commodity that both undead sides fight over
2: Allies for the vampires (who would ever want to ally with zombies?!)
3: Enemies of both undead species, trying to preserve the human way of life

If the humans were a commodity, the vampires would most likely, as Amnestic said, corral them and use them for a source of blood before the zombies could lumber over and infect said humans. The vampires could also be incredibly callous and use the humans that they have drained for cannon fodder to fend off the zombies. If the zombies got the humans, however, they would make more zombies, leading to much greater zombie numbers.

I shall discuss the next 2 scenarios in future posts.

(This is really fun! Should we ask a mod to put this in the RP forum?)

Jamanticus
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1448
Joined: 7 Sep 2008

Alright, now if the vampires decided to allow the humans to ally with them, I think this is what would ensue:
The humans would quickly be asked for all of their weapons, then the vampires would secure the humans in a heavily fortified vampire fortress to keep them safe from zombies. The vampires would ask for numerous donations of blood from the humans in exchange for protection. Now, with a steady source of willing food (and tons of human weaponry), the vampires would hold off the zombies and destroy them. The zombies, of course, would have very little food, as the humans would be all unavailable to them.

Now, if the humans didn't ally with any side:
Many humans would be eaten or infected by zombies, and many more would be taken by the vampires as a source of blood. The ones with weapons, however, would keep both the vampires and zombies at bay, most likely through the use of air-bombings and strafing runs. In the end, though, I think the humans would ally with the vampires once they realized that they needed undead help to get rid of so many zombies.

After this, the humans and vampires could either decide to go their separate ways, or wage another war to destroy each other.

Jamanticus
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1448
Joined: 7 Sep 2008

L1250:

jamanticus:

L1250:
Hm, it appears as though the restartification has failed. Very well then, the restartification of the restartification shall resume tomorrow after I get some sleep so that I can think properly.

Agreed. Be ready with some creative scenarios....I'll be waiting......

Okay, restartification ideas time:
Re-discussing the established scenario
Vampires vs. zombies in an all-out war with even numbers
Vampires vs. zombies vs. sparkly vampires
Vampires vs. zombies vs. werewolves
Ninja vampires vs. pirate zombies
Ninja vampires vs. pirate zombies vs. robot werewolves.
Any combination of the listed scenarios.
Are these good enough to start with?

Sorry for all of these sequential posts.....

What are sparkly vampires, again? I'm sure you gave an explanation earlier, but I can't find it anywhere.....

L1250
Muckraker
Posts: 254
Joined: 13 Aug 2008

Sparkly vampires are vampires from "Twilight". Sunlight doesn't kill them, it just makes them sparkle. I added it just so that the "Twilight" haters could have some additional amusement.

Jamanticus
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1448
Joined: 7 Sep 2008

L1250:
Sparkly vampires are vampires from "Twilight". Sunlight doesn't kill them, it just makes them sparkle. I added it just so that the "Twilight" haters could have some additional amusement.

Ah, I see..... They sound like interesting candidates for annihilation by zombies.

So, now onto vampires vs zombies vs sparkly vampires?

L1250
Muckraker
Posts: 254
Joined: 13 Aug 2008

jamanticus:

L1250:
Sparkly vampires are vampires from "Twilight". Sunlight doesn't kill them, it just makes them sparkle. I added it just so that the "Twilight" haters could have some additional amusement.

So, now onto vampires vs zombies vs sparkly vampires?

Very well, afterwards I suggest we choose one scenario to discuss in depth until we reach a conclusion, choose another one, and repeat.
For vampires vs. zombies vs. sparkly vampires, I assume it will happen like this: The sparkly vampires, aware of their own inferiority, decide to ally with the cool vampires. They will soon think that the zombies will expect an attack least during broad daylight (they wouldn't understand that zombies can't think). They will attempt to stealthily approach the zombies and surprise attack them, but the zombies will be attracted to the sparkles and brutally murder them. The vampires will briefly applaud the zombies for removing them and resume the war.

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