Seeing the wound caused by the dual attack of Gansasalite and The Blue Clad Knight, thebobmaster aims and fires the final shot at the wound. To his dismay, the bullet ricocheted, striking him in the shoulder. Realizing that force was not an option, thebobmaster pulled out Interview with a Vampire and started reading aloud, stumbling toward the demon as blood from his wound trailed behind him. Looking at j-e-f-f-e-r-s, he prays he is not too late.

Jeffers cocks, aims and fires, but alas. The bullet that was meant to blind the beast instead ploughs a furrow into its' cheek. The troll roars in pain, a stream of Caps Lock and Exclamation Marks flows from its' rubber lips. Blinded with fury, it throws the gunslinger into the air. A natural acrobat, he manages to reload and even fire a shot, before gravity calls him back to the ground. Landing with a gentle pirouhette, he surveys the battlefield, and knows that, brave as his fellow soldiers are, they are not enough to tame the beast. Back-up is needed.

Hunching in the grass, he draws breath and prepares to summon the Esper of espers, the Eidolon of eidolons- William Shakespeare...

He only hopes his comrades will be able to help him.

B.C.K's left arm turns to ice as a dozen spikes ram their way out of his skin, a blast of liquid nitrogen slips from his fingers and impacts the Troll in the shoulder, freezing it in a block of ice, and throwing it off balance. The knight hoped to freeze the entire beast, alas, this would not be so easy.

[bonus points if you can guess where I got the liquid nitrogen shooting arm idea from]

Thebobmaster sees j-e-f-f-e-r-s hide. Realizing that his sacrifice may be for the greater good, he returns to his cross, draws a gun and charges at the troll, hitting the wound he had previously missed. Roaring in anger, the troll grabs him and squeezes. As he struggles to breathe, thebobmaster hopes he bought enough time.

Iceman23:

[bonus points if you can guess where I got the liquid nitrogen shooting arm idea from

X-Men.

thebobmaster:

Iceman23:

[bonus points if you can guess where I got the liquid nitrogen shooting arm idea from

X-Men.

Nope, it was Bioshock, good old Winter Blast.

Anyway, where was this story going again?

Jeffers sees thebobmaster in the creature's grasp. He will not last long unless something happens to change the tide of battle.

Fortunately, the Summon is succesful. A beam of purest white light shoots up from jeffers' position. The cloud's part, and a winged figure descends. A winged figure with a goatee, and a large forhead. Shakespeare has arrived.

The troll is visibly confused. 'EEG! ARG! WHAS THAT!!!?!?!' It cries, dropping thebobmaster to the floor. The Bard looms over it, and silences it with a booming voice:

'A plague o' both your houses! 'Zounds,a dog, a rat, a cat, to scratch a man to death! A braggart, a rogue, a villain, that fights by the book of arithmetic! Why the devil came you between us?' The words strike Moogly Googly the Great in an enourmous swell of rainbow colours and 16bit midi sound.

The entire company looks on in awe, as Moogly Googly is visibly hurt by the Great Bard's attack. 'OH NOES! YOU BUGGER! YOU DONKEY WITH NO ESSENECE OF LIFE!' it cries, trying to match power for power. Shakespare is wounded by the rape of his beloved english, he does not have the strenght to remain for long. To try and stop the troll once and for all, the Bard readies his greatest attck: MegaBeth!!!!

Thebobmaster lands on the ground, gasping for breath, but otherwise unharmed. Deciding to abandon his pistols, he returns to the cross, points the assault rifle end at the troll, and pulls the trigger, grinding his feet into the ground to counter the recoil.

lol, has JOE "COOL" even noticed that this isnt really bullying MGG at all, just sort of taking what he says, turning him into some mythological troll, making everyone else defenders of the English language, and then me writing a book/series based upon the imaginations of the bunch on these forums that actually knows how to have fun?

Daezd:
lol, has JOE "COOL" even noticed that this isnt really bullying MGG at all, just sort of taking what he says, turning him into some mythological troll, making everyone else defenders of the English language, and then me writing a book/series based upon the imaginations of the bunch on these forums that actually knows how to have fun?

Of course not.

*As The Necroswanson's badass solo comes to an end, the key changes to a hard G, and he begins screaming (at the top of his lungs) in full unabridged form, "Of Mice and Men"*
+5 grammar to Purple Rain.

As for the rest of you, it's been proven already that flaming, name-calling and general disorder have no effect on him, so it's best to just leave it to the proper authorities. Having said that, this here post has reached a sizeable size and post count, leading me to believe that the aforementioned authorities seem to regard him in some sort of light.

I am baffled.

EDIT: It seems I have been a bit brash about the whole Chichango business, and am terribly sorry.

Jeffers casts Exclamatio on Moogly Googly, but alas it has no effect. Enraged it attempts to swat him with its' claws, but 'Of Mice And Men' rings in its' ears and causes them to bleed. King Haliwali Trollslayer surveys the battlefield, proud of his comrades but all too aware of how the beast's inhuman resilience could turn the battle at any minute.

But Lo! (always wanted to say that :D) Shakespeare swoops overhead- His attack is ready. The company look up in silent anticipation. The Bard flies towards the heavens, gaining height, then dives. Plummeting towards the earth, He opens His beardy jaws, and pours forth His attack in a torrent of English mightiness:

'Have I not reason, beldams as you are,
Saucy and overbold? How did you dare
To trade and traffic with MacBeth
In riddles and affairs of death
And I, the mistress of your charms
The close contriver of all harms
Was never call'd to bear my part,
Or show the glory of our art?
And, which is worse, all you have done
Hath been but for a wayward son,
Spiteful and wrathful; who as others do,
Loves for his own ends, not for you.'

And with that the winged Bard disappears, drawn back to the ethereal vortex from whence He came. The company look on in suspense: The use of Rhyme, the Rhetoric, the Iambic Pentameter... surely the troll Moogly Googly must be finished?

Alas, no. The troll stands, bloody but proud. Its' ears are pouring blood, one eye bears a swollen bruise, but it remains strong and defiant. It beats its' chest, and booms proudly 'YAY! I BEETEN THE BEERDY MAN!! MOOGLEY GOOGLY FOR EVAR!!' The company braces itself for the next onslaught, readying their Aristotle, Homer and Vergil. As one they think 'We're gonna need a bigger boat.'

Daezd:
lol, has JOE "COOL" even noticed that this isnt really bullying MGG at all, just sort of taking what he says, turning him into some mythological troll, making everyone else defenders of the English language, and then me writing a book/series based upon the imaginations of the bunch on these forums that actually knows how to have fun?

Make sure you send me a copy

[Minhef, you are honestly hilarious. It says 'parody' (or a version of that word) right in the text you quoted. And the proper authorities aren't doing anything, so we're just having some fun. It's not like Moogly will even read this all.]

Larenxis shrugged off her cape, making a pillow for Purple Rain, and fished through her bag of holding for the right book. "Damnit! I can't find Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson! Oh, this might do," she said, taking a tome from the bag and opening it near the end. "Pattern Recognition by William Gibson, this should do the trick."

She glanced at the troll, and spoke to the entire battlefield one of the longest and best sentences she had at hand. "And then she hears the sound of a helicopter, from somewhere behind her and, turning, sees the long white beam of light sweeping the dead ground as it comes, like a lighthouse gone mad from loneliness, and searching that barren ground as foolishly, as randomly, as any grieving heart ever has."

She set down the book to see the troll writhing at the use of commas and Purple Rain suddenly inhale and burst from the ground, landing on both feet and smirking. Larenxis smiled and put her cape back on in one smooth movement. "Ah, a sweet, mellifluous text, just what I need to ge-" she stopped suddenly, struck in the throat by 'MICORSOFT' followed by a strike to the ribs by 'MICRODOFT'. Her body became convex, and blood stuttered from her lips. She began to fall...

Nice to see I made someone laugh I guess.

Melty Blood, with a dictionary under his right arm, rushed into the close combat with the monstrousity. He flipped through the dictionary and said,
"Light..." He raised his hand, and various punctuations floated the beast a meter and a half above the ground
"Spear..." Melty flattened his palm so that it faced the monster. The word "spear" shot from his palm, and dove into the beast's chest.
"CANNON!" Melty blood held the open dictionary in front of him, and from it erupted a stream of words, striking the beast as it roared out in agony.
"It's seriously getting riled up. Don't let up people!" Melty shouted, retreating to think up a new spell.

Thebobmaster, seeing Larenxis crumble, ceases his attack on the troll and catches her in his arms. Realizing there is little he can do for her, he nevertheless tries to help her recover.

j-e-f-f-e-r-s:
'We're gonna need a bigger boat.'

Classic line.

Minhef were we supposed to laugh with your post or at it? I'm presuming you get the harmless fun were having? Now that it's completely removed from insulting anyone and actually just a bit of humorous creative writing.

Apone:

Minhef were we supposed to laugh with your post or at it? I'm presuming you get the harmless fun were having? Now that it's completely removed from insulting anyone and actually just a bit of humorous creative writing.

I actually spent quite a while thinking about why I wrote that post. I'm not sure if it was my uppity-nature or a burning desire to be non-conformist, but I find that beating a dead horse is, as a whole, not as fun as beating the people beating the dead horse.

Minhef:

Apone:

Minhef were we supposed to laugh with your post or at it? I'm presuming you get the harmless fun were having? Now that it's completely removed from insulting anyone and actually just a bit of humorous creative writing.

I actually spent quite a while thinking about why I wrote that post. I'm not sure if it was my uppity-nature or a burning desire to be non-conformist, but I find that beating a dead horse is, as a whole, not as fun as beating the people beating the dead horse.

There's to much non-conformity! To avoid conforming I will be a rebel and conform.
To put this in narration-
Haliwali sees the Troll gathering allies, few as they are. "Why," shouts the king, "Do you side with this foul beast Moogly? Has he not ravaged your eyes like prostitutes with his blasphemous rape of the English language? Come Joe Cool, come to the light and help us slay the beast! Come Minhef, assist us in our battle!" The Trollslayer rushes to the aid of PurpleRain , as the Troll lumbers toward him. He takes his sword and hacks the abomination through the gut screaming, "MY DONKEYS HAVE A PURE ESSENCE OF LIFE YOU BEAST!"

It's dead, man, let it go.

Perhaps, if he had actually been replying at all, my posts here would be different. However, he isn't, and I just hate a one-sided debate.

Jeffers sees thebobmaster cradling Larenxis' weakening body. Remembering how the brave soldier distracted the troll so that he may summon Shakespeare, he runs over to them.

Approaching thebobmaster, he says 'Quickly, I have a healing potion that may save her.' He pulls out a rare, pocket sized copy of The Iliad, the foundation of Western Literature. Laying the warrior maiden on the ground, he opens the pages and lets the metaphors and similes pour over her wounds, healing them, and reviving her with new strenght. Where full stops and quotation marks spill on the ground, cowslips and buttercups spring up.

Standing up, the crisis averted, Jeffers addresses the company, many of whom are overcome with despair at the monster's strength.

'Now! Let us show Moogly Googly what it means to spell! Let us show him the power of punctuation! The might of metaphors! The strenght of syntax! Let us strike with such gramatically correct fury that every English teacher in the land shall sing our praises! Forward Knights of the Mother-tongue, and give no quarter, show no mercy, and always dot your 'i's!!!'

Springing away, the gunslinger readies his attack, a fresh copy of The Lord Of The Rings waiting to be opened in his left hand.

Red Shadow had been circling the troll for a while, waiting for the opportune moment to strike. As Melty Blood's spell penetrates the beast's chest, he rushes the troll from behind, hacking at it's legs with books from the Discworld series. Unfortunately, the humorous dialogue, social commentary and satirical nature do not seem to affect the troll. It can't understand the concepts. Red backs off, and begins to read aloud from scientific textbooks, in the hope that the unfamiliar, complicated terms will paralyse the troll.

"A perceived concern with crossing of genetically differentiated populations is the risk that the hybrid offspring in the F1 and subsequent generations will suffer deleterious consequences termed outbreeding depression. This can cause reduced reproductive fitness and production of developmentally abnor..."

The troll lucks dumbfounded at this attack, and smashes Red with a single blow of his fist, screaming "U HAVE NO PURE ESSENESE OF LIFE". The sheer power sends Red flying back into a cliff face, where he mumbles "Wht hipen? I's hrt, eh? 11111111eleven11" before losing consciousness.

Minhef:
It's dead, man, let it go.

Perhaps, if he had actually been replying at all, my posts here would be different. However, he isn't, and I just hate a one-sided debate.

Theres no debate. This is far beyond bullying or slagging off. This is fiction now. Were having a great time role-playing our fantasy battle. If you not interested in joining in, I think you should let responding go. But thats just my opinion, carry on telling us to stop if you want. And we'll carry on fighting our imaginary battle.

Apone: All right, sweethearts, you're a team and there's nothin' to worry about. We come here, and we gonna conquer, and we gonna kick some, is that understood? That's what we gonna do, sweethearts, we are going to go and get some. All right, people, on the ready line! Are ya lean?
Marines: Yea!
Apone: Are ya mean?
Marines: Yea!
Apone: WHAT ARE YOU?
Marines: Lean and mean!
Apone: WHAT ARE YOU? HUDSON! Get on the ready line, Marines, get some today! Get on the ready line! Move it out! Move it out, goddammit! Get hot! One, two, three, four! Get out, get out, get out! Move it out, move it out, move it out! Move it out, move it out, move it out! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven! Aaarrrrr, absolutely badassess! Let's pack 'em in! Get in there!

Apone re-doubles his attack. Supporting the team of Ultimate Bad-Asses that fight all around. Reciting any intelligent quote or one liner his mind could lay its memory on in the heat of battle.

Haliwali:
"MY DONKEYS HAVE A PURE ESSENCE OF LIFE YOU BEAST!"

looooooooool!

The Necroswanson gazes in awe as his former master Shakespere returns from the etheral realm.

"Praise be Shakespere, maybe this battle shalt come to an end!"
But as the dust settled the great troll still stood, though wounded, his power seemed to be at Freeza levels.

"Foul demon, wouldst thou not taken upon the proper grammar in such that thou hast so proudly fought?"

As Larenxis crumbles The Necroswanson sheds a manly tear, realising this may too be his grave. Well, it would be if his soul wasn't in a metal box that respawns him in 1d10 days, give or take accounting for lag of course.

"Wilt thou not suck it down?" The mighty bard shouts as he flies into his next solo.
Using Manly Bardic Song of Super Epicness xInfinity

(I'm running out of songs per day people.)

King Haliwali Trollslayer jumps upon the Beast's back. He climbs up to the Troll's shoulders and beats it his trusty Dictionary and Thesaurus combination, hoping to daze the creature. Haliwali is slashed across the face by the Troll's claw, but he remains resolute. " U SH4L N0T P4SS!!11!" MY DONKEYS D0 HAVE SOM PUR ESSENESE OF LIF," he cries as he clubs the Troll.

"NO!"
*Shouts The Necroswanson as his king leaps onto the monster's back.*
"If you're there my spells might hit you too!!!!!!!!11111!1onemilliononehundredthousandandtwo!!!

Thebobmaster, realizing the crisis is temporarily past, covers Larenxis with his cloak, then stands to face the foul beast. "I have come too far to allow any allies here today fall!" he shouts, pulling out The Glass Menagerie. "If the works of a great English playwright fail to phase you, perhaps the works of a great American playwright will do the trick!" he shouted, reading aloud from his tome.

The King slips and fall from the Troll's shoulders, to be crushed underfoot. As the Beast tramples him, he moans, "F4rwel, mi bruzers, i f34r i am pwned."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooo000000000000000OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO0_o!!!!!"

*Shouts the mighty lich as he rushed down from the hill to his fallen king.*
"My lord.. You can't die, that's totally lame."
*The Necroswanson examines his kings crushed body.*
"It's cool, we can get you fixed up... Though I did tell you we should have brought clerics. I only have soo many wizard spells, and none of them are any good at healing living creatures. MEDIC! Somebody get a level 5 or higher medic!"

"My King!" Shouted Iceman the Blue Clad Knight as he blindly charged the Troll. King Haliwali could not hold out for much longer, his grip of the English language growing weaker by the second, something had to be done.

The Troll let out a terrible roar "N0 YR DONKIES HAVE NIEN PUER ESSENCE OF LIF" Iceman's ears began to bleed, but he kept charging, pulling out a small MP3 player, if the power of literature couldn't move the beast, perhaps song could.

Iceman jumped on the Troll, ramming the tiny mp3's headphones into its ears, he turned it on and began to blast Beyond the Sea by Bobby Darin.

The Troll stumbled off of King HaliWalli, clearly the poetic words of Mr. Darin were to much for him.

Iceman rushed to his side, as TheNecroswanson called out for a medic. The Kings wounds were grievous, only something truly great could help him now.

Haliwali stirs as he sees his friends. "D4mmi7, rlled a 1 on mi armur sev."