All I can say to this is that Epic troll is Epic. Really, you guys shouldn't encourage him. If he doesn't like a game, it's not your place to argue with him about it. It's his loss, and he's not going to deprive anyone else of the game with such a eye bleedingly bad 'review'.

Ugh. Came back this morning to see this guys dribble. I liked MGG, he was fun. The Negotiator started to push things. But this guy is a fingers in ears fanatic. I'm not trying to insult but this is starting to make me rage. Reviews caliming to be ones when there are much better out there. Read what'shisnames (sorry, I can't be bothered finding the name right now) Bioshock review. That was gold.

i got a ps3 so i had the wores't of the console crossovers and i bloody love the game. i mean yea the 360 version is better than the ps3 one we know that but this guy "thedecsivegamer" i think it's spelt, clearly has no idea about games and is just some guy running his mouth thinking he knows better than everyone else here.

its annoying wen he says that its rubbish wen he hasn't evan played the proper version on the pc, its like i said early'er, hes a danm illiterate when it comes to games.

Can you please provide some anecdotal evidence to back up your claims?

hmmmmm... let me think. He thinks that the first halo is the best FPS out there.

This may get lost in a sea of flame, since the original post and one's following it are clearly flame bait written by a troll (which is kinda dangerous for a troll, since I was under the impression flames negate the regenerative abilities of a troll) but this is for anyone who actually wants to do a decent review:

Please keep a game journal. Play the game through, and each time you come to the end of either a cool experience or a chapter, document it in your gameplay experiences journal. On making a journal entry, write it to yourself as if you were being totally honest with yourself in no uncertain terms, leaving out no details salient to your experience. Extra: Take screen shots or video as you play and make a note of it in your journal.

Then, when you are done your gameplay journal, which if you had done it right, it should be very long, way too long for anyone to read but yourself. Reread it, and now write an outline, this should look like a Table of Contents seen at the beginning of a book.

With outline in hand, see if you can fill out the 5 Ws (Who, What, When, Where, Why) for these three points as succinctly as possible: 1) Setting 2) Protagonist 3) Antagonist

Now, with your experience well documented, your salient points in hand, attempt to write a entertaining 1000 word review that has a beginning with main topic clearly stated at the start, rising action of high and low points of your experience, and concluding statements in clearly readable paragraphs.

I hope this helps future reviewers set themselves apart from baiting trolls. Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter.

To any prospective trolls: GFY, GaL, & EFAD. May Jay & Silent Bob pay you a visit. >:)

CanadianWolverine:
This may get lost in a sea of flame, since the original post and one's following it are clearly flame bait written by a troll (which is kinda dangerous for a troll, since I was under the impression flames negate the regenerative abilities of a troll) but this is for anyone who actually wants to do a decent review:

Please keep a game journal. Play the game through, and each time you come to the end of either a cool experience or a chapter, document it in your gameplay experiences journal. On making a journal entry, write it to yourself as if you were being totally honest with yourself in no uncertain terms, leaving out no details salient to your experience. Extra: Take screen shots or video as you play and make a note of it in your journal.

Then, when you are done your gameplay journal, which if you had done it right, it should be very long, way too long for anyone to read but yourself. Reread it, and now write an outline, this should look like a Table of Contents seen at the beginning of a book.

With outline in hand, see if you can fill out the 5 Ws (Who, What, When, Where, Why) for these three points as succinctly as possible: 1) Setting 2) Protagonist 3) Antagonist

Now, with your experience well documented, your salient points in hand, attempt to write a entertaining 1000 word review that has a beginning with main topic clearly stated at the start, rising action of high and low points of your experience, and concluding statements in clearly readable paragraphs.

I hope this helps future reviewers set themselves apart from baiting trolls. Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter.

To any prospective trolls: GFY, GaL, & EFAD. May Jay & Silent Bob pay you a visit. >:)

Good someone nows how to do a proper review. hopefully that danm regect of a troll will learn somthing from you mate. (don't be to optamistic though).

CanadianWolverine:
I was under the impression flames negate the regenerative abilities of a troll

Acid= report
Flame= ....well flame.

Talk to our lord Haliwali trollslayer, he will show you the ways of the quote and D&D. Oh just had an idea, what if we get Moogly and Halo man to fight!

theindecisivegamer, your name is misleading. You are not a gamer.

theindecisivegamer:
It's just that halo 1 happens to be the only good fps game ever made.

...are you serious?

HALF-LIFE. DOOM 3. QUAKE III. FARCRY. TIMESHIFT. HAZE. WOLFENSTIEN. CALL OF DUTY 4.
Yeah, Halo is a brilliant FPS, but Jesus Christ, real gamers are not supposed to be this ignorant!

Your review is inferior. Your spelling and grammar is terrible, and your review consists of only saying the game sucks. This is the mark of an idiot and a terrible reviewer. If the game 'sucks,' then why is it so popular? Why is this thread full of defendants? Perhaps you, personally, do not like the game - however I figure that you just have a problem with 'popular' games and felt the need to troll over it. Oh, and you probably just suck at playing it.

Melty Blood:
I know that it's me talking, but the word "Consoletard" comes to mind right now.

As a proud console 'tard myself, I resent that. I love HL2 something fierce.

Normally, when people say they didn't like HL2, I just scream, 'What more do you want? It has the freakin' gravity gun! How do you sleep at night?'

This guy, however, has bitched about the gunplay and and ended it off with "Half-life 2 sucks big donkey." For shame.

V4lkz:
ahahahaahhhahahahahahhaahahhahahahhahaahh kid your a console tard in the first degree. you wouldnt know a good fps or game for that matter if it hit you in the face and raped your mum.

Oh, and aren't you so very life-enriching.

Copter400:

V4lkz:
ahahahaahhhahahahahahhaahahhahahahhahaahh kid your a console tard in the first degree. you wouldnt know a good fps or game for that matter if it hit you in the face and raped your mum.

Oh, and aren't you so very life-enriching.

I agree, a credit to the pc playing community.

Is it just me or is he starting to act like The Negotiator (the anti-Freeman topic of this thread is included in my accusation)?
Anyway, I consider HL2 to be a good game. I'm enjoying it as I'm playing it. Yes, it has some bugs, but which game doesn't? And they are not bugs the size of those from Big Rig Racing! But even with these small bugs and glitches in the AI it still does not make the game mediocre, or even bad. At least those are my 0.02$

HE'S BACK! COME HITHER MY WARRIORS, THE NEGOTIATOR HAS SHOWN HIS NEW FORM.

eggdog14:

theindecisivegamer:
It's just that halo 1 happens to be the only good fps game ever made.

We've discovered the source of his symptoms!
Diagnosis: Consoletardation.

No, even console-tards usually seem to hold Halo 2 or Halo 3 in higher regard... and not nessecarily even the highest, judging by the number of people who play CoD4.

The only thing I'm gonna bother saying is that you suck. I played through the Half-life games with little difficulty, and passed tons of health kits. And all I do is go berserk. And I played the Xbox version. You don't have an excuse, you just suck.

Alright, indecisive is clearly a moron, so this comment is less directed at him and more a free standing review.

Half-Life 2 is not perfect. In fact I was surprisingly disappointed with the game. Don't get me wrong, it is a great game, the Source engine is smooth and crisp, but there are still flaws. Just to get this out of the way, yes, some of the physics puzzles were unnecessary and redundant. While it does highlight the Source engine's capabilities, it doesn't do much for game play. As such they should probably be revised to be slightly more interesting and challenging (though they do provide a needed break from firefights).

As a stand alone game, Half-Life 2 is fantastic. The game play is tight, and the player feels immersed. However, when compared with Half-Life 1, I feel that it simply doesn't stack up. The story in Half-Life 2 honestly left me confused. It just wasn't as tight knit and effortless as the first. In the first every time I caught a glimps of daylight on my way to the surface I remember instantaneous elation. My goals in the second were less primary and therefore at times seemed contrived.

I think one of my largest gripes between the two is the difficulty level. In the original Half-Life bullets were often a scare commodity. You had to take enemies down without spraying to conserve ammo. Often you found yourself falling back onto the 9 mm pistol to get through scenes because every other gun was empty. Or you'd avoid using fast firing guns at long range because you were better off saving them for close quarters. This added some tension to the game play and really made you feel like you were on a mission of survival. In Half-Life 2, bullets are everywhere, you rarely ever deplete all the ammunition for a gun before you're restocked, and because of that, there's no reason to use many of the weapons you carry with you. Yes, you can't spray aimlessly and expect to not run out, but if you are even moderately careful you will always have something to fire.

To offset what looks like a negative review, I should also make mention of Half-Life 2 compared to other games. I had just put together a beast of a PC, 30 inch monitor, dual GeForce 8800 GTS 640s in a SLI, the works, and I wanted to give it a run for its money. So I bought Lost Planet, because I had heard it had the capacity to bring gaming systems to their knees. Well I could run it, but that's about it. The game felt clunky, lacked direction, and scripted boss sequences often kill you a dozen times before you realize you're supposed to run and not fight. Well I played at that for a couple hours before my frustration hit a boiling point. I quit the game and broke the disc. On my same purchasing run I had also picked up Half-Life 2 Episode 1. I fired that up and gave it a go. Suddenly the controls seemed effortless and intuitive, the enemies behaved the way they should, and the world seemed to have a glossy polished perfection to it that just fit. To be honest, it felt like coming home. So as much as Half-Life 2 will never be better than the first in my opinion, it is a solid, well made and enjoyable game. In addition, the stories for the two episodes are vastly superior to Half-Life 2's.

immortal88:
Alright, indecisive is clearly a moron, so this comment is less directed at him and more a free standing review...

I agree that the first game was better in many ways. Story, for sure, and difficulty, yes. I also found that there wasn't enough variety in weapons in HL2... no gauss gun, no gluon gun, and I'm not sure if I prefer the new crossbow or the old one. But after HL2, the first game feels awfully... empty... I find that HL2 is more immersive in spite of its shortcomings compared to its predecessor.

Haliwali:
HE'S BACK! COME HITHER MY WARRIORS, THE NEGOTIATOR HAS SHOWN HIS NEW FORM.

I bet that if I was to shout TN's foul name in the street, you would teleport in from wherever you are in the world with a platoon of choice Escapist members brandishing very large sticks.

Copter400:

Haliwali:
HE'S BACK! COME HITHER MY WARRIORS, THE NEGOTIATOR HAS SHOWN HIS NEW FORM.

I bet that if I was to shout TN's foul name in the street, you would teleport in from wherever you are in the world with a platoon of choice Escapist members brandishing very large sticks.

Accompanied by the vworp vworp of the Doctor's Tardis, I'm certain.

Although this thread has degenerated into Half Life 2 Nazi-ism, I guess ill still try to counter point.

1. I feel that the Half Life 2 enemy placement feels about like I would have done it in Garry's Mod. Place 'em entirely at random with no real reason for anyone. However, most other First Person Shooters do this, so it does not seem like anything special. Im sure that if you looked at Halo you would find most enemies placed in a similar manner.

2. I do agree that the AI is preaty abysmal, and the NPC's do some things that make you wonder if their respirators are on too tight. As for the gunplay, it downright sucks. I have no problem with generic first person shooter head clicking and I have no quarel with the number of shots to kill. My problem with Half-Life 2 gunplay is the guns themselves. No thought whatsoever was put into them. You have a Pistol, a Submachinegun, a Shotgun, a Better pistol, a better submachinegun, a rawkit lawnchair, and other standard weapons. As for the guns themselves, they generally sound pretty piss-weak.

3. As for the charging station/medipack point, if they are well placed medpacks/charging stations can be a decent part of gameplay. Half-Life 2 messes this up by placing them entirely at random.

4. As for the puzzles, I was only mad 'cause physics engines reject my "Stairway to Heaven" methods. The puzzles, for the most part were solvable only one way, which I have always found makes a boring puzzle.

I think that the atmosphere/story make up for the fail-tastic gameplay, but the points about gameplay were for the most part fair.

Soulfein:

As for the puzzles, I was only mad 'cause phys-

SOCKPUPPETER!
*joking*

But the puzzles did have only one way to solve them. Never stoped to think about it but I guess you have a point, it would have been more fun with diffrent ways to slove the problem. HL2 Ep1&2 had this, or am I just smater now/"glitching"?

P.S. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sockpuppet_%28Internet%29

Haliwali:
HE'S BACK! COME HITHER MY WARRIORS, THE NEGOTIATOR HAS SHOWN HIS NEW FORM.

How do we stop it? How do we kill a beast that cannot die?

Knight Templar:

Soulfein:

As for the puzzles, I was only mad 'cause phys-

SOCKPUPPETER!
*joking*
Seriously I think halo man,(theindecisivegamer) could start sockpuppeting. He is stubborn, and just plain crazy.

But the puzzles did have only one way to solve them. Never stoped to think about it but I guess you have a point, it would have been more fun with diffrent ways to slove the problem. HL2 Ep1&2 had this, or am I just smater now/"glitching"?

P.S. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sockpuppet_%28Internet%29

Not always. The first physics puzzle, with the seesaw and cinder blocks? You can just stack the cinder blocks up against the ledge and jump onto them.

Okay, here we go.

1) The health kit system was the FIRST EVER health system for shooting games. Go and play Wolfenstein 3D or Doom, and you'll know why this is a great system.

2) How could you skip that the boat section was one of the great vehicle sections of gaming? It beat anything Halo had.

3) If the physics sucked so much, then why did Gametrailers rate the Gravity Gun as the greatest gun of all gaming?

Edderz1989:

Crap_haT:
In all honesty this isn't really a review. You should look at the good point as well as the bad equally, not just saying "Ooo, this was good, but this, this, this, this, this, this and this was horrible." This is of course unless you are really trying to burn the game (Which is exactly what I did with a movie). I find that far too many people love the half-life series to take any of your (quite considerable) points seriously but will still comment on them.

I, like everyone else, still love the Half-Life series irrespective of these points made. I enjoyed the gameplay and the story. The very few cinematics were very cool and of course the physics engine is fun to play with. It's also a game that makes you care for the characters you are playing with, rather than wanting to gravity gun them to death. It brings emotion to the surface rather than just allowing you to stew in a puddle of your own stupidity as you point and click an enemy to DEATH. Death...

So one some aspects of your review I completely agree with, but on others not so much.

yes, but this guy is just sayin that every FPS out there isn't as good as (the big heap of dog mess) halo. which is complete and utter stupidity on his behalf and shows how little he really knows about games.

What a fag. (Not Edderz)

Copter400:

Melty Blood:
I know that it's me talking, but the word "Consoletard" comes to mind right now.

As a proud console 'tard myself, I resent that. I love HL2 something fierce.

Normally, when people say they didn't like HL2, I just scream, 'What more do you want? It has the freakin' gravity gun! How do you sleep at night?'

This guy, however, has bitched about the gunplay and and ended it off with "Half-life 2 sucks big donkey." For shame.

Playing mostly console games doesn't make you a consoletard. Being retarded and playing console games makes you a consoletard.

I read this whole thread, and every time someone makes a completely valid and correct counter argument to the thread creators dribble, he responds in a way that translates into "NUH UHHHHHH HALO IS TEH ROCKZORZ"

And I thought half lifes enemy placement was pretty good, valve used lots of scripted events to have enemies enter the battlefield in new ways, and have unique encounters throughout the game.

Nerdfury:

Copter400:

Haliwali:
HE'S BACK! COME HITHER MY WARRIORS, THE NEGOTIATOR HAS SHOWN HIS NEW FORM.

I bet that if I was to shout TN's foul name in the street, you would teleport in from wherever you are in the world with a platoon of choice Escapist members brandishing very large sticks.

Accompanied by the vworp vworp of the Doctor's Tardis, I'm certain.

No, we use jump jets.

Haliwali:
No, we use jump jets.

Yeah. We're an assault squadron. No wimpy bolters for us. Only chainswords.

REDPill357:

Haliwali:
No, we use jump jets.

Yeah. We're an assault squadron. No wimpy bolters for us. Only chainswords.

And Head-butts. Cos we're hard.

Apone:
And Head-butts. Cos we're hard.

And we've got helmets. Wait... EPIC MOVE

Use your jump jets to jump high. Then, aim your head down, and WHAM hit them where it hurts! The Orks will be punished!

Id rather be a Terminator... =[