"What's that in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's [super hero #32]!" Marvel and DC have had a long running duke-'em-out even before I could ever breath on my own. Which ever side you root for, they have both made a long running and successful film franchise (and Marvel rule!). All the while this was occurring, the Phantom sat around and gave baddies neat looking scars. So now here I stand before you, the Escapist, and deliver what I think of all this colourful, latex wearing hogwash.
My favourite hero to emerge from all this rubble of Hollywood crap is defiantly the red and blue tight wearing masked idol. No, not Superman you twit, Spiderman. The first two Spiderman movies were great. People seem to dislike the second with an immense hatred, but I thoroughly enjoyed the Sam Raimi style comedy/action. Everyone bar Mary Jane are likeable (but she's hot so deal with it) and it shows a side of Spiderman superhero films dare not venture; his weaker side. No, not his vulnerability for bugspray, but it shows him as just a normal human. He is late to work, stalks the girl of his dreams, is bested by his bud, failing college and generally sucks but he has to go through it all because... well, that's what heroes do! "With great power comes great responsibility."
While the first two were excellent and wildly entertaining, the third seemed to be a real letdown for the series. I was hoping Spiderman would turn out to be like Indiana Jones or Back to the Future were every movie was solid gold. Not for Spidy3 however. Hollywood finally caught up to it and smoothing the poor spider with a truckload of cash. Instead of the movie building to the end, it just seemed to drag on. Mary Jane gets captured again (I could forgive it the first two times, but come on!) and Venom was a huge let down. When I was a kid, Venom was my favourite character, and still is, and hearing the news that he was the villain in S3 made me shoot my pants off. Then I had to wade through the entire movie only to watch 15 glorious minutes of him. 15 minutes of the greatest villain in all time while the Goblin gets an entire movie dedicated to him! Lastly, I still don't get how Spiderman 3 was the most expensive movie made to date?! So they destroyed a model building in it? Watch Die Hard 4.0 and see how much stuff they fuck up in that then watch Spiderman again. Maybe Sam had a huge Coke addiction that he had to cut it with gold and diamonds to gratify for his ever-growing celebrity lifestyle. Well do you have a better answer?
Up until recently, Batman was a cartoonish rubber-suited moral guidance figure, "Remember Robin, look both ways before crossing the road." So it was with great pleasure that Christopher Nolan finally ripped the bat off from Tim Burton and did something good to the franchise. Like Spiderman, Batman Begins brought something new to the scene of the super hero, a questionably moral, dark figure, more crazed vigilantly that dresses up like an animal then squeaky clean crime fighter loved by all. What I loved about Nolan's Batman was the grit it brought to the scene. People generally disliked Batman and saw him as an eccentric person in a suit. It was violent and real. No more stopping at the traffic lights before it turns red for this caped crusader, just mow it down and fuck shit up. That's the way I like it! I am really looking forward to the next film and want to be the only person in the cinema to cheer when Batman kills the Joker. What? I'm getting into the film.
So Spiderman has the abilities of a spider (though I've never met a Spider that could dodge a shoe that he couldn't dodge a bullet) and Batman dresses like a bat and has bat shaped gear. So what is Superman? He's super and a man? Well, yes actually. That's it; he's super. I dislike, nay loathe, Superman for that exact reason. You can't make a likeable character that can do every-bloody-thing at once. Not once while watching the movie did I ever sympathies with the red and blue alien. He has nearly every superpower imaginable and, unlike Spiderman, he is so... super. In a day he has enough time to kill the bady, stop the meteorite, save his girlfriend and still have enough time to kill to catch The Biggest Loser on TV, happily knowing that he will never loose his Statue of David physique as long as the sun is still glowing. Crap, even if he fucks up he'll just spin the Earth backwards, because we all know that the Earth is the center of the space-time continuum. To make a likeable character they need flaws. To have an on your edge movie experience, the hero needs to be in danger. So the same bald guy with the same glowing rock wants to take over the world again. Like Superman hasn't done this a million times before.
Now onto X-Men. A decent portrayal of the old comics without the stupid colourful outfits. A friend recently let me borrow the last X-Men movie, The Last Stand, because I wanted to wrap this trilogy up. First thing's first: Where's Gambit?! They brought a whole range of new mutants to the fray (although, I think they made a lot of them up) but they still left out Gambit! He was my favorite French talking, card throwing character. They had Angel but he had no point at all in the movie. He posed for a bit, said 2 lines and that was it. I wonder how much the actor was paid for that? As per usual, Wolverine shows off. I can't not like him since he's the only Aussie there. Thankfully Cyclops gets blown away in the first ten seconds of the film and they bring out Beast, which the film so sorely needed (that smug blue bastard). Sounding good so far? Well it's not. The movie falls to the Hollywood syndrome X3 uses ever cliché under the sun, ie: ice vs fire, a man who can smash through walls vs a girl who can run through them, etc, etc. Then of course Hollywood shoves a million dollars of CGI down your throat, which can be more distracting then entertaining. There is a slight cliffhanger ending. If they manage to make X4, they would be really beating the dead horse (something Marvel's good at. Oh burn!). Still watch it, only because Ellen Page wears leather. Down kitty.
Ang Lee's the Hulk was a shock to the system, actually less of a shock and more of a mild annoyance. The film wasn't great as its wacky 'out there' editing styles and script might have worked well as a drama, but not for a Hulk movie. A Hulk movie should consist of two things: Hulk and Smashing! Both which lacked from Ang Lee's the Hulk. And this was another movie where the crisis is beaten by love. Same with Spiderman, same with Xmen, same with every other frikken Hollywood superhero film out there! Why do they keep on doing that? It's old and nobody cares about this feeble emotion called 'wuv' especially if you're a superhero and could get with any girl you want. See how lonely I am already? Now Hollywood, seeing the downfall for giving their action movie to an arty director, they have remade that Hulk movie. While the ads make it look a lot more explosive and Hulky, I feels in poor taste to try and redo somebody else's project while it's still fresh.
Lastly (yay, finally this bastard can fish his rant) onto the Ironman trailer. I haven't seen it yet and have been dying to; Ironman looks like a gem glistening in the limelight. Staring Robert Downy Jr, as Tony Stark, a multi millionaire captured by terrorists (in post 9-11 world) and crafts a shiny set of armor. Sort of like a Neo-Ned Kelly except Kelly's armor couldn't fly and was a little weak around the legs. It has wit and the usual CGI. I just hope it didn't get the Hollywood illness that badly and is right for our screens.
So it seems that no matter how much Hollywood seems to screw up a good thing (Ghostrider, Daredevil) and continue to bring out unnecessary sequels (F4, XM, SpidyMan) or spin offs (Electra, Wolverine) some treasures can be made of it (Spiderman ½, Batman, Ironman) but only if they actually bring something to the table. We don't care about heroes that can do everything (Superman) are suck so much (Daredevil) that we loose interest. As long as they can entertain without the need for useless CGI and SFX, it's all good.
That's right, we've got too many reviews to handle in one mind. This weekend they simply MUST go! Reviews, reviews, reviews- they're just flying off the walls!! Ironman, Spiderman, Superman, there's no superhero movie we WON'T review! Have a look at this batman review, only 174 words, that's 174 words, we've gone absolutely bonkers!!! But hurry in now; this is a one-time, never to be repeated offer at our Purple Rain store!!!!(!)
Anyone seen Iron Man? I personally thought the trailer looked the very definition of average, but it's been getting some good reviews, so maybe it's actually worth a look?
Oh, and I can't wait for The Dark Knight. Heath Ledger's portrayal of the Joker looks absolutely terrifying.
Pretty much agree with your whole review, especially the X-Men. Angel flies around for about five minutes of screen time and the lack of Gambit...what the?
I saw Ironman the day it came out. It was decent, certainly one of the better superhero movies. Maybe I'm missing something but my friends absolutely loved it, gave it five stars. Whereas I'd give it three/three and a half. I thought it was a little lacking in the action category.
There is a fair amount of plot to work through rather then jumping straight into the baddie beatings. I guess it could be seen as more of an intro to Ironman, with better things to come in the sequel/s.
If you haven't read The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, go out and read it right now. Everyone who likes superhero comics (and many people who don't) will love that book (and the superhero the two main characters invent is named "The Escapist").
sammyfreak: I am gonna go se Ironman tonight, hopefully it isent a hystericaly awefull as the game.
Shut up, the demo was freaking badass!
I remember punching a bloke, he flew away while his weapon fell down right on the spot. I also remember how invincible I was, im not sure if I could die. Or maybe it was the tank that took no visual damage from my first punch but blew up from my second.
It's Batman Begins. Don't confuse me by saying Batman. But yeah, I agree with pretty much everything you're saying here. Superman had one weakness, ONE, and in Superman Returns he shows that it's as much of an inconvenience as too little sugar in one's tea.
I haven't seen Iron Man yet (to my great anguish) because I can't see it for free until Tuesday, and I'm broke. But my expectations are soaring because I loved Downey Jr. in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and even though I hate Paltrow, it looks to be a great movie even with the love interest.
I saw you didn't mention Hancock at all. What do you think of the trailers for that one?
Oh, and as much as I love Indy, Temple of Doom sucked.
I just returned from Iron Man and i must say that i caught me off guard. A Superhero movie can only be so good (if The Wachowski brothers movies are excluded) but this one really hit it.
I dont feel like writing a review but i'll just give it a strong recomendation, it is the best action flick since Casino Royale.
Agree with almost everything you've said, very good review though.
I thought Iron Man was the best super hero movie I've seen in a long time, perhaps since Spiderman 1 back in whenever, Downey Jr. absolutely nails Tony Stark, well for me, the comedy is rather grown up, many kids won't get whats being said, and more parents will complain about that than needs be, but thats the world we live in, stupid parents, apart from the casting, I can't pick a single thing that stood out, the whole movie for me was a shinning success at what a superhero film can be.
Oh and Hancock looks awesome, can't wait for that one!
*pounces purplerain and clings* FINALLY someone else who shares my fiery passion of hate for superman! It's about friggin' time. Loath isn't even a strong enough word for how much I hate him. Love batman though...just got a thing for dark and mysterious. lol >.<'
Good review. Much better than the others you've put out. Though you REALLY need to spell and grammar check...not to mention just plain out reread what you've written. If your gonna post you really should take the time to do this.
I like a lot of what you say, the new Batman movies are doing Batman right, the first two Spider-Mans were great, Superman's a tool and you can't do X-Men justice with a medium as short a 2 hour movie. The Hulk, on the other hand, while it needs to be an action movie cannot be pure action. What makes the Hulk great is that it is Bruce Banner fighting with himself. You cannot discount the drama completely, and hopefully Edward Norton will do a good job balancing that (He does have great experience playing a character with multiple personalities.)
And absolutely read The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay. Best Comic Book Novel Ever!
yeah superman blows in all honesty though i did rather enjoy the death of superman comic was rather good. however there is only one other character that blows even more than superman and also suffers from superman syndrome even more than superman, and that's peter petrelli from the show hero's. I cant stand this bugger what idiot thought that a good hero would be able to use every other persons power he meets have no real weakness and pretty much use all other characters powers at full load. Whats the point and he's the main lead as well I mean especially in the 1st season it was almost as if all the other characters where there to give him powers and that was there main role in the whole bloody thing
If you think Superman is overpowered now, you should have seen some of the comics of yesteryear. He sprouts a new superpower every five minutes and at one point could travel through time at will. Modern writing has rehabilitated the character somewhat and made him much more sympathetic.
Larenxis: It's Batman Begins. Don't confuse me by saying Batman. But yeah, I agree with pretty much everything you're saying here. Superman had one weakness, ONE, and in Superman Returns he shows that it's as much of an inconvenience as too little sugar in one's tea.
I haven't seen Iron Man yet (to my great anguish) because I can't see it for free until Tuesday, and I'm broke. But my expectations are soaring because I loved Downey Jr. in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and even though I hate Paltrow, it looks to be a great movie even with the love interest.
I saw you didn't mention Hancock at all. What do you think of the trailers for that one?
Agreed with everything you said. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang pretty much got me into Mr Jr.
Hancock. I haven't seen the trailers yet. Will Smith is a so so actor. It's hard to take him serious but he does star in very dramatic movies. Might watch it now.
Pseudonym2: I'm still hesitantly looking forward to Wolverine because it has Deadpool in it. I hope he breaks the fourth wall.
Wha?! Deadpool's in Wolverine? The movie just went up on my charts.
AnGeL.SLayer: *pounces purplerain and clings* FINALLY someone else who shares my fiery passion of hate for superman! It's about friggin' time. Loath isn't even a strong enough word for how much I hate him. Love batman though...just got a thing for dark and mysterious. lol >.<'
Ok, I guess you can cling on me. You can be my pet monkie that hates Superman with me.
Iron Man was fanfreakingtacular. Other than destroying a really cool car, the movie was just brilliant. And I, too, loathe Super Man with a fiery passion that burns my soul.
Oh yeah and the new Batman movie's version of the Joker is completely different from the Killing Joke which is the best use of the Joker ever.
What the...? Chris Nolan has stated repeatedly that The Killing Joke is one of the big influences for the new film. Heath Ledger locked himself in a hotel room with the comic and basically forced himself to go mad.
well, the review, its not bad, spiderman and xmen 3 were overrated crap yeah. and honestly, im tired of superheroes in coloruful skintigs suits, they cant do somethingmore original?
oh and i hate superman too, really overpowered, i can barely remember a couple of justice league chapter where he fighted with people strong as him, at least his japanese counterpart (Goku) always fight enemies more or less at his level
Well, I wasn't in my best mood at the time so it may have tarnished it somewhat, but...
Let's have the twelvetieth re-re-re-telling of the Batman saga with all the old symbolism gone and replaced by 'of the moment' trapped in wells. Then let's have the young Bruce Wayne not grieving, but cursing himself. Then let's alter Bats perspective so that killing is fine. Then let's take him from the "criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot" to "stab em whilst they're not looking". Then let's bring Raz Al-Ghul in as his new mentor. Now let's give him an armoured suit, because guns are bad kiddies... Then let's add ninjas to up the realism level Then let's bring another one-shot villain, but let's have a b-list one. Then SHOCKZOR...his mentor turns evil. Then SHOCKZOR...he beats his mentor, proves he's a man, saves the girl, shags the city and so on until bored.
Two good things : The Joker's Card and Michael Caine. The rest was poo, IMHO.
Batman is an Ivory Tower set to topple, not a cheap armoured thug. Superman returns did exactly the same by focussing on the CGI and not the bloody hero.
That's what made Spidey good and why Hulk fell short.
@Root, couldn't disagree more, Batman Begins is my favourite of all the superhero movies and one that actually tries to do something a bit more interesting with the genre. But to answer your question, my flatmate agrees with you. We don't talk about Batman Begins any more because we argued so much about it (Me: BB is AWESOME! It's revived a stale movie franchise! Added grit, realistic action, compelling characters and compelling themes! Her: They killed Batman!)
Anyway, I totally agree with you Rain, though I wouldn't get your hopes up too much for Iron Man. It's good, but it's not great. If you rehash the plot for Batman Begins and then take away a heavy dose of excitement and style then you've got Iron Man.
Don't get me wrong, it's not bad, but it's not particularly great either. Like Jay said, about 3/5.
The_root_of_all_evil: Let's have the twelvetieth re-re-re-telling of the Batman saga with all the old symbolism gone and replaced by 'of the moment' trapped in wells. Then let's have the young Bruce Wayne not grieving, but cursing himself. Then let's alter Bats perspective so that killing is fine. Then let's take him from the "criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot" to "stab em whilst they're not looking". Then let's bring Raz Al-Ghul in as his new mentor. Now let's give him an armoured suit, because guns are bad kiddies... Then let's add ninjas to up the realism level Then let's bring another one-shot villain, but let's have a b-list one. Then SHOCKZOR...his mentor turns evil. Then SHOCKZOR...he beats his mentor, proves he's a man, saves the girl, shags the city and so on until bored.
Heh, like I said, it may have just been me at the time. It's one of those polarising films. I loathed Starship Troopers so much that I was audibly cheering the aliens on. And then I liked LoXG, so it's personal taste.
I just saw Iron Man. It was AWESOME. I went into it with the highest expectations, excluding the villain's acting and the love interest (what can I say, I hate Gwen), and I was blown away. The dialogue was wonderful and Robert Downey Jr. was phenomenal and the cinematography was great. Yes, it had many shallow moments, but that's what comic book movies are about. Yes, the boss fight was a bit of a let down (robot fights on highways seem to do that), but it was still great. And Downey and Terrence Howard had great chemistry. And it had an adorable robot! And... and... I could really go on, but I should sleep.
The one Thing I don't understand about the Superman series is that every bad guy walks around why Kryptonite in his pocket. I mean that stuff is rare but Lex Luther seems to have a mine filled with the stuff.
"Your days of evil are over lex' "Hey check out this rock Clark" "Aggghhh my one weaknes *runs away*"
Now onto X-Men. A decent portrayal of the old comics without the stupid colourful outfits. A friend recently let me borrow the last X-Men movie, The Last Stand, because I wanted to wrap this trilogy up. First thing's first: Where's Gambit?! They brought a whole range of new mutants to the fray (although, I think they made a lot of them up) but they still left out Gambit! He was my favorite French talking, card throwing character.
Ah Mon Cherie the great tragedy of the X-men films was his omission, personally I suspect it was because of his French (Cajun) links and the first x-men film came out at the same time as America was peeved about the lack of support for their latest spat in the gulf and busily trying to amend the prefix of their fries to freedom and forget who gave them one of their favourite land marks and helped them win their independence in the first place.
"What's that in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's [super hero #32]!"
Marvel and DC have had a long running duke-'em-out even before I could ever breath on my own. Which ever side you root for, they have both made a long running and successful film franchise (and Marvel rule!). All the while this was occurring, the Phantom sat around and gave baddies neat looking scars. So now here I stand before you, the Escapist, and deliver what I think of all this colourful, latex wearing hogwash.
My favourite hero to emerge from all this rubble of Hollywood crap is defiantly the red and blue tight wearing masked idol. No, not Superman you twit, Spiderman. The first two Spiderman movies were great. People seem to dislike the second with an immense hatred, but I thoroughly enjoyed the Sam Raimi style comedy/action. Everyone bar Mary Jane are likeable (but she's hot so deal with it) and it shows a side of Spiderman superhero films dare not venture; his weaker side. No, not his vulnerability for bugspray, but it shows him as just a normal human. He is late to work, stalks the girl of his dreams, is bested by his bud, failing college and generally sucks but he has to go through it all because... well, that's what heroes do!
"With great power comes great responsibility."
While the first two were excellent and wildly entertaining, the third seemed to be a real letdown for the series. I was hoping Spiderman would turn out to be like Indiana Jones or Back to the Future were every movie was solid gold. Not for Spidy3 however. Hollywood finally caught up to it and smoothing the poor spider with a truckload of cash. Instead of the movie building to the end, it just seemed to drag on. Mary Jane gets captured again (I could forgive it the first two times, but come on!) and Venom was a huge let down. When I was a kid, Venom was my favourite character, and still is, and hearing the news that he was the villain in S3 made me shoot my pants off. Then I had to wade through the entire movie only to watch 15 glorious minutes of him. 15 minutes of the greatest villain in all time while the Goblin gets an entire movie dedicated to him! Lastly, I still don't get how Spiderman 3 was the most expensive movie made to date?! So they destroyed a model building in it? Watch Die Hard 4.0 and see how much stuff they fuck up in that then watch Spiderman again. Maybe Sam had a huge Coke addiction that he had to cut it with gold and diamonds to gratify for his ever-growing celebrity lifestyle. Well do you have a better answer?
Up until recently, Batman was a cartoonish rubber-suited moral guidance figure,
"Remember Robin, look both ways before crossing the road."
So it was with great pleasure that Christopher Nolan finally ripped the bat off from Tim Burton and did something good to the franchise. Like Spiderman, Batman Begins brought something new to the scene of the super hero, a questionably moral, dark figure, more crazed vigilantly that dresses up like an animal then squeaky clean crime fighter loved by all. What I loved about Nolan's Batman was the grit it brought to the scene. People generally disliked Batman and saw him as an eccentric person in a suit. It was violent and real. No more stopping at the traffic lights before it turns red for this caped crusader, just mow it down and fuck shit up. That's the way I like it! I am really looking forward to the next film and want to be the only person in the cinema to cheer when Batman kills the Joker. What? I'm getting into the film.
So Spiderman has the abilities of a spider (though I've never met a Spider that could dodge a shoe that he couldn't dodge a bullet) and Batman dresses like a bat and has bat shaped gear. So what is Superman? He's super and a man? Well, yes actually. That's it; he's super. I dislike, nay loathe, Superman for that exact reason. You can't make a likeable character that can do every-bloody-thing at once. Not once while watching the movie did I ever sympathies with the red and blue alien. He has nearly every superpower imaginable and, unlike Spiderman, he is so... super. In a day he has enough time to kill the bady, stop the meteorite, save his girlfriend and still have enough time to kill to catch The Biggest Loser on TV, happily knowing that he will never loose his Statue of David physique as long as the sun is still glowing. Crap, even if he fucks up he'll just spin the Earth backwards, because we all know that the Earth is the center of the space-time continuum. To make a likeable character they need flaws. To have an on your edge movie experience, the hero needs to be in danger. So the same bald guy with the same glowing rock wants to take over the world again. Like Superman hasn't done this a million times before.
Now onto X-Men. A decent portrayal of the old comics without the stupid colourful outfits. A friend recently let me borrow the last X-Men movie, The Last Stand, because I wanted to wrap this trilogy up. First thing's first: Where's Gambit?! They brought a whole range of new mutants to the fray (although, I think they made a lot of them up) but they still left out Gambit! He was my favorite French talking, card throwing character. They had Angel but he had no point at all in the movie. He posed for a bit, said 2 lines and that was it. I wonder how much the actor was paid for that? As per usual, Wolverine shows off. I can't not like him since he's the only Aussie there. Thankfully Cyclops gets blown away in the first ten seconds of the film and they bring out Beast, which the film so sorely needed (that smug blue bastard). Sounding good so far? Well it's not. The movie falls to the Hollywood syndrome X3 uses ever cliché under the sun, ie: ice vs fire, a man who can smash through walls vs a girl who can run through them, etc, etc. Then of course Hollywood shoves a million dollars of CGI down your throat, which can be more distracting then entertaining. There is a slight cliffhanger ending. If they manage to make X4, they would be really beating the dead horse (something Marvel's good at. Oh burn!). Still watch it, only because Ellen Page wears leather. Down kitty.
Ang Lee's the Hulk was a shock to the system, actually less of a shock and more of a mild annoyance. The film wasn't great as its wacky 'out there' editing styles and script might have worked well as a drama, but not for a Hulk movie. A Hulk movie should consist of two things: Hulk and Smashing! Both which lacked from Ang Lee's the Hulk. And this was another movie where the crisis is beaten by love. Same with Spiderman, same with Xmen, same with every other frikken Hollywood superhero film out there! Why do they keep on doing that? It's old and nobody cares about this feeble emotion called 'wuv' especially if you're a superhero and could get with any girl you want. See how lonely I am already? Now Hollywood, seeing the downfall for giving their action movie to an arty director, they have remade that Hulk movie. While the ads make it look a lot more explosive and Hulky, I feels in poor taste to try and redo somebody else's project while it's still fresh.
Lastly (yay, finally this bastard can fish his rant) onto the Ironman trailer. I haven't seen it yet and have been dying to; Ironman looks like a gem glistening in the limelight. Staring Robert Downy Jr, as Tony Stark, a multi millionaire captured by terrorists (in post 9-11 world) and crafts a shiny set of armor. Sort of like a Neo-Ned Kelly except Kelly's armor couldn't fly and was a little weak around the legs. It has wit and the usual CGI. I just hope it didn't get the Hollywood illness that badly and is right for our screens.
So it seems that no matter how much Hollywood seems to screw up a good thing (Ghostrider, Daredevil) and continue to bring out unnecessary sequels (F4, XM, SpidyMan) or spin offs (Electra, Wolverine) some treasures can be made of it (Spiderman ½, Batman, Ironman) but only if they actually bring something to the table. We don't care about heroes that can do everything (Superman) are suck so much (Daredevil) that we loose interest. As long as they can entertain without the need for useless CGI and SFX, it's all good.