God of war was truly a landmark title, possibly the best game for ps2 and one of the best games I've played in years. The game bought jaw droppingly awesome graphics to the aging ps2, and highly refined and ultra addictive gameplay, putting you in control of one of gaming's most badass protagonists, letting you battle the gods to become the god of war...no.
No, no, no. God of war is about wasting your time. It's about tedium. God of war sums up all that is wrong with most commercial games. To me, it feels like the game was not designed as a medium for artistic expression, but rather for the sake of systematically fulfilling the wishes of gamers to turn into brain-dead morons by taking part in abstract and repetitive button mashing patterns and item collection, all the while advancing an utterly ridiculous and worthless story which holds nothing of the subtle beauty of real Greek mythology.
Don't get me wrong, the combat is skill based, that's if you reduce the meaning of the word 'skill' to its most rudimentary form. Combat will see you memorizing patterns and accordingly mashing a couple of buttons as broken up by the occasional block (which defends attacks from all directions using only a couple of daggers held in front of his face) prompting animations which will never get boring (if you're an idiot) and will get boring after no longer then half an hour, if your not.
Then there are quick time events used abundantly throughout, completely abstract, of course, never adding anything, as expected, but always resulting in grossly repeated animations.
Its also hard not to feel like your time is being seriously disrespected when you are asked to slash through most doors and such in order to advance or even just to do some innocent spirit collecting. Who doesn't like collecting spirits? Me; Because it's pointless. Every few yards you have to open a treasure chest to release some spirits or whatever they are, to replenish your health and magic power. I plead for anybody to tell me how this enhances the experience. It's not like its realistic or something; not that the game makes any attempt at realism anyway. So why not just automatically regenerate health the appropriate amount after the battle's over, or maybe give you a bit of health every time you kill something. Oh, wait, they do do that, so why the treasure chests? I can only assume it's because people get some sort of weird kick out of gathering shit. Maybe they feel like they're doing really well when they constantly open treasure chests or maybe it relates back to some primal instinct to collect. Perhaps something we developed when we used to pick berrys and stuff...All I can say is that I hate it when it features in such a meaningless way in computer games.
Speaking of meaningless, how about the puzzles, if you can call them that, which you can't. Let's call them weird pacing activities which have inexplicably evolved in videogame culture. These weird pacing activities usually involve using the environment to solve problems in order to advance. I'll give you some examples from early on in the game and let you make your own mind up about them after telling you that I think they are absolutely ridiculous.
So you're walking around on a sort of balcony/ledge above a locked door which blocks your progress. What do you do? Well you have no bloody clue what to do except follow the only possible path that exists, but this is where you have been lead and you cannot go any further lest you fall into the courtyard where you begun. So here's the solution: you walk around until you see the action button appear on the screen. What? It has appeared here? Ok ill press it and see what happens. Actually it turns out Kratos fancies using his godlike strength to topple a statue and the games been kind enough to grant me the pleasure of taking part by mashing the action button as fast as I can until the statue falls. It also turns out that Kratos has a capacity for physics calculations to match a modern super computer, because the statue falls in such a way that its head breaks off and rolls to just the right place to provide a step up to a ladder which was previously just out of reach.
The ladder leads to a tower of which you also have no idea as to why it might be of any use in your adventure. It turns out that this tower is home to another ridiculous puzzle. The tower has another little tower on top of it...which is too high to jump up to, not that you have any reason to get up there except that it's the only possible thing to do (its not like you can see what's up there either because you have no control over the camera). Turns out you get up by hitting 2 nearby pillars until they become low enough to provide steps up to the small tower. One of the 2 pillars for no legitimate reason (other then to provide steps) can be knocked lower then the other. I find the existence of this particular 'puzzle' particularly sickening because due to the lack of interactivity with the rest of the god of war world, the realization of this solution is highly unintuitive. Luckily for Kratos, there's a giant crossbow thingy atop this mini tower. I'm not sure why it's there or why it's going to be useful, but being somewhat accustomed to this games twisted logic, I'm sure its going to get me to my next destination one way or another.
Apart from these minor quibbles I can wholly agree that god of war is indeed one of the best last-gen games, and certainly worthy of a score of at least 9.5 as has been granted across the internet.
Obviously I hate this game and everything it represents, but I seem to be very alone in this position. Even Yahtzee seemed to like this one. Am I completely mad here?
A well written review, but I have to say that I'm leaning somewhere towards the "You're mad", verdict.
How can you consider a game that is "about tedium", where the combat becomes boring "after no longer than half an hour", to be worthy of a score of 9.5. Just add to the confusion, you dismiss your complaints as "minor quibbles", despite having stated a strong dislike for the combat, QTE and mild annoyance with the obtuse method of health regeneration.
Frankly I just don't get it; you specify you "hate this game and everything it represents", (unless that's sarcasm) yet state it is worthy of "AT LEAST 9.5", (sorry, unsure how to apply bold).
Now your leading me to the your mad verdict...my saying its worthy of a 9.5 is surely the most obvious sarcasm? if i had to score the game i would give it a 7 by videogame scoring standards, and a 2 by general art scoring standards.
Please allow me to don the forgiveness hat and apologise for my misinterpretation; as you may have guessed, sarcasm isn't always evident through text.
I have to admit, this truly was an example of me being an idiot of somewhat epic proportions, but what can I say; I genuinely have seen reviews that change opinion as spontaneously as that.
Yeah, I'd describe God of War to be "above average," and really, the only thing that made me play it through to the end and hope to play the sequel someday soon as that I am a big fan of Greek mythology, no matter how much God of War butchers up the lore.
The thing that irritated me most about God of War was that they got their mythology all wrong. Nerdy, I know, but if they'd gotten it right I might've played for more than the first level.
Okay, methinks you need to take a minute to calm down, indecisive. While I'm not a big fan of the God of War series (by a longshot), I think you were a bit unnecessarily harsh on it. Here's my take on your review.
theindecisivegamer: God of war was truly a landmark title, possibly the best game for ps2 and one of the best games I've played in years. The game bought jaw droppingly awesome graphics to the aging ps2, and highly refined and ultra addictive gameplay, putting you in control of one of gaming's most badass protagonists, letting you battle the gods to become the god of war...no.
Good introduction. Watch out for the run-on second sentence. Nice segway into your main point.
theindecisivegamer: No, no, no. God of war is about wasting your time. It's about tedium. God of war sums up all that is wrong with most commercial games. To me, it feels like the game was not designed as a medium for artistic expression, but rather for the sake of systematically fulfilling the wishes of gamers to turn into brain-dead morons by taking part in abstract and repetitive button mashing patterns and item collection, all the while advancing an utterly ridiculous and worthless story which holds nothing of the subtle beauty of real Greek mythology.
And here's where I began to get frustrated reading the review. You seem to be looking at God of War for all of the wrong reasons. A medium of artistic expression?! It's a video game, for crying out loud! If you want artistic expression, go to a gallery (just not one where they're starving a dog). It actually made me laugh when you slander the game about artistic expression, and then berate it's take on Greek mythology. Artistic expression is about the interpretation of an idea. What would you have preferred for a game? Leisure Suit Zeus? They altered the content to make it more appealing to a general audience...deal with it. In hindsight, referring to the audience of the game as "brain-dead morons" is never a good way to earn favour in a review.
theindecisivegamer: Don't get me wrong, the combat is skill based, that's if you reduce the meaning of the word 'skill' to its most rudimentary form. Combat will see you memorizing patterns and accordingly mashing a couple of buttons as broken up by the occasional block (which defends attacks from all directions using only a couple of daggers held in front of his face) prompting animations which will never get boring (if you're an idiot) and will get boring after no longer then half an hour, if your not.
Then there are quick time events used abundantly throughout, completely abstract, of course, never adding anything, as expected, but always resulting in grossly repeated animations.
Again, try and lay off the game's audience; it ruins your credability if you insult. Watch that run-on paragraph. Also, I felt that the quick-time events added quite a bit to the gameplay. It wouldn't be realistic to fight the Hydra, a monster several times your size, just by running up and hacking at it. Quick-time events add a way for the combat to be somewhat more "realistic". Not to mention I really loved the sync kills. Its boring when the enemies just fall down dead, rather than you ripping their heads off.
theindecisivegamer: Its also hard not to feel like your time is being seriously disrespected when you are asked to slash through most doors and such in order to advance or even just to do some innocent spirit collecting. Who doesn't like collecting spirits? Me; Because it's pointless. Every few yards you have to open a treasure chest to release some spirits or whatever they are, to replenish your health and magic power. I plead for anybody to tell me how this enhances the experience. It's not like its realistic or something; not that the game makes any attempt at realism anyway. So why not just automatically regenerate health the appropriate amount after the battle's over, or maybe give you a bit of health every time you kill something. Oh, wait, they do do that, so why the treasure chests? I can only assume it's because people get some sort of weird kick out of gathering shit. Maybe they feel like they're doing really well when they constantly open treasure chests or maybe it relates back to some primal instinct to collect. Perhaps something we developed when we used to pick berrys and stuff...All I can say is that I hate it when it features in such a meaningless way in computer games.
Ah, and here's where your review slipped for me. You seem to enjoy referring back to Halo (a la the regenerating health) when commenting on what makes good (or better) game design. As far as spirit collecting goes, I like the concept of it. You are an emmisary of Ares, the god of WAR! It seems fairly sensible that you'd devour the essence of your slain enemies. As for slashing objects open to get them, it's just as logical as placing coins in question-mark-shaped blocks. I'm sorry, but this is a video game. If you were looking for hyper-realism, you're in the wrong place. It is a work of fiction, and so must be viewed as one. Next you're going to mark Super Mario World down because Mario doesn't get a concussion every time he hits a block.
theindecisivegamer: Speaking of meaningless, how about the puzzles, if you can call them that, which you can't. Let's call them weird pacing activities which have inexplicably evolved in videogame culture. These weird pacing activities usually involve using the environment to solve problems in order to advance. I'll give you some examples from early on in the game and let you make your own mind up about them after telling you that I think they are absolutely ridiculous.
So you're walking around on a sort of balcony/ledge above a locked door which blocks your progress. What do you do? Well you have no bloody clue what to do except follow the only possible path that exists, but this is where you have been lead and you cannot go any further lest you fall into the courtyard where you begun. So here's the solution: you walk around until you see the action button appear on the screen. What? It has appeared here? Ok ill press it and see what happens. Actually it turns out Kratos fancies using his godlike strength to topple a statue and the games been kind enough to grant me the pleasure of taking part by mashing the action button as fast as I can until the statue falls. It also turns out that Kratos has a capacity for physics calculations to match a modern super computer, because the statue falls in such a way that its head breaks off and rolls to just the right place to provide a step up to a ladder which was previously just out of reach.
The ladder leads to a tower of which you also have no idea as to why it might be of any use in your adventure. It turns out that this tower is home to another ridiculous puzzle. The tower has another little tower on top of it...which is too high to jump up to, not that you have any reason to get up there except that it's the only possible thing to do (its not like you can see what's up there either because you have no control over the camera). Turns out you get up by hitting 2 nearby pillars until they become low enough to provide steps up to the small tower. One of the 2 pillars for no legitimate reason (other then to provide steps) can be knocked lower then the other. I find the existence of this particular 'puzzle' particularly sickening because due to the lack of interactivity with the rest of the god of war world, the realization of this solution is highly unintuitive. Luckily for Kratos, there's a giant crossbow thingy atop this mini tower. I'm not sure why it's there or why it's going to be useful, but being somewhat accustomed to this games twisted logic, I'm sure its going to get me to my next destination one way or another.
Speaking as a gamer, I must disagree with you here. Looking around for the solution to a puzzle, and waiting to see an action button, is commonplace in games. As for the simplicity of the puzzles (i.e. Kratos' physics degree) you must once again remember that this is a video game, and a linear one at that. If you were allowed to move about the world in a sandbox-style environment, then you would probably not see a puzzle like that. However, since there is only one path to follow, the game must make sure that you can take it. If you had to steer the statues and pillars precisely, it would take gamers hours to beat a level.
theindecisivegamer: Apart from these minor quibbles I can wholly agree that god of war is indeed one of the best last-gen games, and certainly worthy of a score of at least 9.5 as has been granted across the internet.
Obviously I hate this game and everything it represents, but I seem to be very alone in this position. Even Yahtzee seemed to like this one. Am I completely mad here?
Try to avoid being condescending or sarcastic in your reviews. Not only does it annoy people, but it is hard to discern your sarcasm from type alone.
Over all, a much better review than your previous efforts. Perhaps you can review a good game, or at least a game that you have a positive opinion of (besides Halo).
I'd have to agree with alot of the things irishdelinquent said.
Overall a good review (much better than mine atleast) but some of your points were a little out there.
I mean, c'mon, God Of War is mainly about beating the ever-loving-shit out of your oponents, ripping their heads off and on top of that a great story (in my opinion, I absolutly love greek mythology)
I agree that God of War wasn't such a bad use of Quick Time Events. EXCEPT for when you knock down a minotaur and mash a button to see if you stab it. That got tedious REALLY fast. Swinging the analog stick the right way at the right time? That's fine. Mashing the button to open a chest? WHY?!
Unrelated: Are there any games in which you play as Bellerophon? It would be really cool if you could make choices, like if you get the King to open the letter when you first arrive, or if you don't try to fly to Olympus. Man, I'd buy that.
tooktook: I mean no offense but what is the point of reviewing a game that is commonly held as excellent? It doesn't really add much as we all know its great.
Well written though. Keep it up for other games.
because no-one else seems capable of explaining why it is so excellent
RentCavalier: God of War is a pretty good game--more of an experiment with an interesting, more fluid take on Zelda.
God of War 2 is an EXCELLENT game. It's God of War but longer, bigger, better.
If your saying its like zelda because of the puzzles, and you like such puzzles,then please could you try justifying the puzzles thatr i criticised in my review?
RentCavalier: God of War is a pretty good game--more of an experiment with an interesting, more fluid take on Zelda.
God of War 2 is an EXCELLENT game. It's God of War but longer, bigger, better.
If your saying its like zelda because of the puzzles, and you like such puzzles,then please could you try justifying the puzzles thatr i criticised in my review?
All you seem to be doing is criticizing that these puzzles are linear. I'm not quite sure why you're ticked off at them because of the game's logic--in my opinion, most of the game's puzzles make decent enough sense, moreso than some other, more puzzle based games (Ico, I look at you, and I do not look well). The camera is fixed BECAUSE the developers want you to see the puzzle and thus solve it--it's called a gameplay mechanic, and it's no different from the crate pushing you do in half a million other games, or the switch timing puzzles you do in Zelda games.
In fact, games with fixed camera angles make puzzle solving a lot easier, because the camera pans to show you important things and thus make you use the environment to get at them. That's why it's a GOOD puzzle--you're given hints that make you go back and look for solutions in the area around them. Considering most of God of War takes place in some bizarre temple full of tricky puzzles, the logic is that these are meant to be crazy and difficult to prevent you from getting the treasures within--just like EVERY OTHER PUZZLE IN EVERY OTHER GAME.
God of War does it better then some, worse than some. Comparing it to Zelda is pretty fair because unlike, say, Devil May Cry, God of War puts a lot of emphasis into its level designs, and with all the secrets and chests scattered throughout, there's a healthy Zelda influence on the core gameplay.
I dont know I mean ever since hearing Yahtzee rip the ever loving shit outta games I have become a little more critical and less willing to gratefully accept whatever bullshit the gaming industry decides to spew forth however. Apart from a few minor quibbles God of War was simply mind fuckingly orgasmic. Yes its not perfect, yes it got the mythology wrong, yes it was linear but most importantly it was fun. Its enviroment looked huge and beautiful. Boss battles were challenging until you figured out its weakness. Cmon who didn't get a rush during that damn Hydra fight? Standing atop the mast in the middle of the storm, that big bastard lizard roaring at you. I know it was enough to get my blood pumping. It may not be the most mentally challenging game around but its not meant to be. Its pure unadulterated fun and I think I am going to order a pizza, kick back and play it now.
avykins: I dont know I mean ever since hearing Yahtzee rip the ever loving shit outta games I have become a little more critical and less willing to gratefully accept whatever bullshit the gaming industry decides to spew forth however. Apart from a few minor quibbles God of War was simply mind fuckingly orgasmic. Yes its not perfect, yes it got the mythology wrong, yes it was linear but most importantly it was fun. Its enviroment looked huge and beautiful. Boss battles were challenging until you figured out its weakness. Cmon who didn't get a rush during that damn Hydra fight? Standing atop the mast in the middle of the storm, that big bastard lizard roaring at you. I know it was enough to get my blood pumping. It may not be the most mentally challenging game around but its not meant to be. Its pure unadulterated fun and I think I am going to order a pizza, kick back and play it now.
A good point, but to be fair, Greek Mythology is almost more FUN if it's twisted around a bit--otherwise it's a fair bit repetative. Almost every myth involves Zeus fucking some poor girl (or guy), sparking Hera's ire, and then she turns that person into a newt or something...and then Zeus turns into a newt to fuck them again. Or else Ares get all pissy and starts shit only to have Athena outsmart him in a weird, cosmic Laural and Hardy nonsense, and somewhere along the line Poseidon makes seahorses and trys to fuck Demeter, who is all pissy because Hades kidnapped her daughter and dragged her to hell to fuck the ever-living shit out of her.
If you made a game about Greek mythology, it'd be a weird cross between X-rated bestiality porn and wacky hi-jinks at the expense of some poor girl who just liked to sew a whole lot.
Unless you go with the heroes, who differ only in the fact that they have to kill some difformed monstrosity the Gods created for laughs before they can fuck the ever-living shit out of their girl back home, pending she doesn't tragically kill herself or cheat on you, in which case you brutally murder her and her new lover and become king of some island where you rule peacefully for several decades until you offend some god or goddess and they smite you to death.
Yeah I was more referring to the first posters criticism of it having none of the beauty of the real mythology. I used to study greek mythology in my younger years and yeah. It was pretty much samey samey. The gods it appears were creatures of habit. Plus to stick too strongly to the mythology would be stupid since many of the cheatures were trapped in way different areas. Plus and please dont take this too immaturely, I am not one of those "hehehe show me BOOBIES!!! lolz" people but I quite liked the low level nudity in it. It has always struck me as being wrong that we can decapitate people and use their heads as bowling balls in games yet a pair of nipples are somehow taboo. We are adults dammit! ><
Not necessarily. In the USA God of War is rated as M, or Mature, which is appropriate for 17 year olds, which is a year before the age of majority; thus making them minors, not adults.
Let me get this straight, because you have to open chests for orbs and because you got stuck in some of the puzzles, you hate God of War? You sir have a ten foot wooden splintery pole up your ass. As far as video games go, God of War IS art. In fact Mr. Retentive, it sounds like you haven't beaten the game, it sounds like you gave up after the first quarter. The two flashbacks with the "barbarians to the east" were done better then most movies. The story was great and the combat was fun. I don't know why you have such a chip on you shoulder.
Both God of War games have brought no small amount of pure head-ripping, chest-splitting enjoyment. I like the fact that it has a kinda Greek setting, but really, it's skin deep. Some of you complain about the mythology. Who cares? Really, mythology in it self are a stale, dead collection of lame ass tales. This goes for Greek, roman and Norse at least. Mythology only makes sense when used a prism. It is a great tool to examine any given society. It gives us clues about their mindset and makes understanding them easier. And talking about societies. God of War may have messed up the myths, but it's nothing compared to the whole Sparta thing. Really, 300 came closer to the mark. But again, who cares. It's just a game, not a history book.
avykins: I dont know I mean ever since hearing Yahtzee rip the ever loving shit outta games I have become a little more critical and less willing to gratefully accept whatever bullshit the gaming industry decides to spew forth however. Apart from a few minor quibbles God of War was simply mind fuckingly orgasmic. Yes its not perfect, yes it got the mythology wrong, yes it was linear but most importantly it was fun. Its enviroment looked huge and beautiful. Boss battles were challenging until you figured out its weakness. Cmon who didn't get a rush during that damn Hydra fight? Standing atop the mast in the middle of the storm, that big bastard lizard roaring at you. I know it was enough to get my blood pumping. It may not be the most mentally challenging game around but its not meant to be. Its pure unadulterated fun and I think I am going to order a pizza, kick back and play it now.
A good point, but to be fair, Greek Mythology is almost more FUN if it's twisted around a bit--otherwise it's a fair bit repetative. Almost every myth involves Zeus fucking some poor girl (or guy), sparking Hera's ire, and then she turns that person into a newt or something...and then Zeus turns into a newt to fuck them again. Or else Ares get all pissy and starts shit only to have Athena outsmart him in a weird, cosmic Laural and Hardy nonsense, and somewhere along the line Poseidon makes seahorses and trys to fuck Demeter, who is all pissy because Hades kidnapped her daughter and dragged her to hell to fuck the ever-living shit out of her.
If you made a game about Greek mythology, it'd be a weird cross between X-rated bestiality porn and wacky hi-jinks at the expense of some poor girl who just liked to sew a whole lot.
Unless you go with the heroes, who differ only in the fact that they have to kill some difformed monstrosity the Gods created for laughs before they can fuck the ever-living shit out of their girl back home, pending she doesn't tragically kill herself or cheat on you, in which case you brutally murder her and her new lover and become king of some island where you rule peacefully for several decades until you offend some god or goddess and they smite you to death.
I must agree with you. lol see where my Leisure Suit Zeus comment comes into play? Greek Mythology is twisted. If they made the game based on real Greek myths you'd have incest, beastiality, and so many more twisted things. They changed the myths to make them more appealing and marketable.
I don't think Greek myth is as samey as everyone makes out. I mean,yes, Zeus does like fucking a lot. But Greek Mythology has given us some of the greatest epics of all time (The Iliad, The Odyssey), THE greatest tragedies of all time (Shakespeare be damned, Oedipus and Medea are in a different league entirely to stuff like MacBeth), legendary heroes like Heracles, Achilles, Odysseus, Jason...
My point is, developers don't have to start mucking about with the lore in order to try and sell a game. Greek mythology is already complex and twisting (and twisted!) enough without mucking it about for no reason.
Well if we are going to be anal about geek mythology then its Herakles. Hercules was the romanization. Who says that rape, incest, beastiality, necrophillia (yes it happened too) and all other sorts of deviant behaviour aint marketable ? Someone needs to visit japan. >.>
Who says that rape, incest, beastiality, necrophillia (yes it happened too) and all other sorts of deviant behaviour aint marketable ? Someone needs to visit japan. >.>
God of war was truly a landmark title, possibly the best game for ps2 and one of the best games I've played in years. The game bought jaw droppingly awesome graphics to the aging ps2, and highly refined and ultra addictive gameplay, putting you in control of one of gaming's most badass protagonists, letting you battle the gods to become the god of war...no.
No, no, no. God of war is about wasting your time. It's about tedium. God of war sums up all that is wrong with most commercial games. To me, it feels like the game was not designed as a medium for artistic expression, but rather for the sake of systematically fulfilling the wishes of gamers to turn into brain-dead morons by taking part in abstract and repetitive button mashing patterns and item collection, all the while advancing an utterly ridiculous and worthless story which holds nothing of the subtle beauty of real Greek mythology.
Don't get me wrong, the combat is skill based, that's if you reduce the meaning of the word 'skill' to its most rudimentary form. Combat will see you memorizing patterns and accordingly mashing a couple of buttons as broken up by the occasional block (which defends attacks from all directions using only a couple of daggers held in front of his face) prompting animations which will never get boring (if you're an idiot) and will get boring after no longer then half an hour, if your not.
Then there are quick time events used abundantly throughout, completely abstract, of course, never adding anything, as expected, but always resulting in grossly repeated animations.
Its also hard not to feel like your time is being seriously disrespected when you are asked to slash through most doors and such in order to advance or even just to do some innocent spirit collecting. Who doesn't like collecting spirits? Me; Because it's pointless. Every few yards you have to open a treasure chest to release some spirits or whatever they are, to replenish your health and magic power. I plead for anybody to tell me how this enhances the experience. It's not like its realistic or something; not that the game makes any attempt at realism anyway. So why not just automatically regenerate health the appropriate amount after the battle's over, or maybe give you a bit of health every time you kill something. Oh, wait, they do do that, so why the treasure chests? I can only assume it's because people get some sort of weird kick out of gathering shit. Maybe they feel like they're doing really well when they constantly open treasure chests or maybe it relates back to some primal instinct to collect. Perhaps something we developed when we used to pick berrys and stuff...All I can say is that I hate it when it features in such a meaningless way in computer games.
Speaking of meaningless, how about the puzzles, if you can call them that, which you can't. Let's call them weird pacing activities which have inexplicably evolved in videogame culture. These weird pacing activities usually involve using the environment to solve problems in order to advance. I'll give you some examples from early on in the game and let you make your own mind up about them after telling you that I think they are absolutely ridiculous.
So you're walking around on a sort of balcony/ledge above a locked door which blocks your progress. What do you do? Well you have no bloody clue what to do except follow the only possible path that exists, but this is where you have been lead and you cannot go any further lest you fall into the courtyard where you begun. So here's the solution: you walk around until you see the action button appear on the screen. What? It has appeared here? Ok ill press it and see what happens. Actually it turns out Kratos fancies using his godlike strength to topple a statue and the games been kind enough to grant me the pleasure of taking part by mashing the action button as fast as I can until the statue falls. It also turns out that Kratos has a capacity for physics calculations to match a modern super computer, because the statue falls in such a way that its head breaks off and rolls to just the right place to provide a step up to a ladder which was previously just out of reach.
The ladder leads to a tower of which you also have no idea as to why it might be of any use in your adventure. It turns out that this tower is home to another ridiculous puzzle. The tower has another little tower on top of it...which is too high to jump up to, not that you have any reason to get up there except that it's the only possible thing to do (its not like you can see what's up there either because you have no control over the camera). Turns out you get up by hitting 2 nearby pillars until they become low enough to provide steps up to the small tower. One of the 2 pillars for no legitimate reason (other then to provide steps) can be knocked lower then the other. I find the existence of this particular 'puzzle' particularly sickening because due to the lack of interactivity with the rest of the god of war world, the realization of this solution is highly unintuitive. Luckily for Kratos, there's a giant crossbow thingy atop this mini tower. I'm not sure why it's there or why it's going to be useful, but being somewhat accustomed to this games twisted logic, I'm sure its going to get me to my next destination one way or another.
Apart from these minor quibbles I can wholly agree that god of war is indeed one of the best last-gen games, and certainly worthy of a score of at least 9.5 as has been granted across the internet.
Obviously I hate this game and everything it represents, but I seem to be very alone in this position. Even Yahtzee seemed to like this one. Am I completely mad here?