Yeah yeah, old game, been reviewed a lot, "you probably got the idea from that Oblivion review in here didn't you?". I'm just seeing what are the result (reader's satisfaction) when I post a review here. Basically seeing how uber my writing skills are. Let's get this started.

Morrowind is one of the strangest game I've ever played. Not because of it's setting, the setting is awesome and can kick the ass of every other RPG that exist. But I can't really decide whether it is awesome or not. At one time, I feel a great thrill by discovering a beautiful dwemer sword. The games becomes shit again after 4 minutes...kind of like real life does when you stop masturbating.

I probably don't have the best life in the world, and if anyone wishes to disagree by bringing up the subject of those poor kids in ethiopia. Go right ahead. But when comparing the emotion I have when playing a good game and living normal life. There's a very small resemblance. Now everyone knows Morrowind is a open-ended RPG. I bit too open ended. Kind of like the real world. There's ups and downs in the real world. If I wanted to escape it, I want a place where there's only ups, and I can't do that in Morrowind.

Another big thing about Morrowind is the lore. Everything is so damn imaginative and creative. In fact so much that it's believeable. After a while of it. You take it for granted. You believe it. This, kind of makes it impossible to appreciate the setting. I would really like a unbelievable world that's well executed than a believable world.

The combat is shittier than a diaghreea shit that's being shitted out of the shittiest shit of all shits.

However, the graphics are fan-freaking-tastic, and I mean graphics as in the art design. It's so much of a change from the usual RPG art. It's dark, gritty, creative (with a big C) and unique. Really a good change from the usual.

The game world is very very large. There's plenty of dungeons and cool things to be found. (You just have to work for it). The world is so large and detailed (you can pick up flower pedals) that you have to wonder if anyone that works in Bethesda have a life. Or if some things in the game are really appreciated or noticed at all. (Like Alchemy)

Final Verdict: I do have to admit I havn't got past level 6. But then that's not my fault, the game couldn't keep my attention for that long.

I don't like Morrowind that much. But just because of the sheer size.

The game get's a 7/10

Irmekroache:
Basically seeing how uber my writing skills are. Let's get this started.

I'm going to go right ahead and assume you're being ironic here, ok?

I'm not being ironic. I orginally planned to write: "how good my writing skills are" but decided against it because it sounded strange.

Irmekroache:
I'm not being ironic.

Hmm, maybe we're just have too high expectations, what with Larenxis, Gigantor, MGG and Nilcypher that your writing skills are sub-par. Very very sub-par.

Very brief, which is odd for a game the size of Venus.

Maybe you should try adding some more information to your review.

Actually looking through his work i don't think his writing skills are as sub-par as might seem. Take for example his reply just then. It's perfectly eloquent and well phrased. And going through his reviews i'd say the same of many sentences, probably the majority. The right thoughts are definitely there.

But, it seems like you have a good idea for a phrase, and then forget to put a comma in the right place, or spell a word wrong, or leave a word out. This is all bearing the hallmarks of someone who needs to proof-read their work more, and someone who can't rely on their own editing skills enough and should consider putting the document on Word first. Or any other program that spellchecks for you.

PS: I'm reviewing a review of a review. I feel very surreal right now...

Lol. Thanks though, I'll keep that in mind. Although I kinda wrote this in a very short amount of time just to feel the "experience".

PurpleRain:

Irmekroache:
I'm not being ironic.

Hmm, maybe we're just have too high expectations, what with Larenxis, Gigantor, MGG and Nilcypher that your writing skills are sub-par. Very very sub-par.

*runs out room crying*

I suppose this is the downside of an open forum, kinda like George W being a downside of Democracy.

I still say we should have mandatory spelling and grammar test before people are allowed to post here.

PurpleRain:

Irmekroache:
I'm not being ironic.

Hmm, maybe we're just have too high expectations, what with Larenxis, Gigantor, MGG and Nilcypher that your writing skills are sub-par. Very very sub-par.

Indeed, MGG has set the bar unattainably high.

On a slightly less sarcastic note, I'm oddly fond of this review. It works on many levels and repays repeated readings. My favourite bits:

The inconceivable:
kind of like real life does when you stop masturbating.

The Wildean:

The combat is shittier than a diaghreea shit that's being shitted out of the shittiest shit of all shits.

The confusion:
However, the graphics are fan-freaking-tastic, and I mean graphics as in the art design.

The inconsistent:
creative (with a big C)

The Surrealist:
flower pedals

The ADHD defence:
I do have to admit I havn't got past level 6. But then that's not my fault, the game couldn't keep my attention for that long.

I'd suggest in the future that you actually play the game, proofread your words, plan out an argument, and try and ensure it makes sense, logically, like.

Hmm... I was actually planning on doing a Morrowind review soon. Would that now be like one fat kid too many jumping into the pool?

Dammit i loved the alchemy

j-e-f-f-e-r-s:
Hmm... I was actually planning on doing a Morrowind review soon. Would that now be like one fat kid too many jumping into the pool?

Nah, there's never enough drowning fat kids in a pool. Oh, you mean alive?

Irmekroache:

Final Verdict: I do have to admit I havn't got past level 6. But then that's not my fault, the game couldn't keep my attention for that long.

I don't like Morrowind that much. But just because of the sheer size.

The game get's a 7/10

This is a good summary of what's wrong with your review.

First off: gogo proofreading!

Second, it's fine that you admit that you've only reached level 6. But have you actually asked yourself if you're properly qualified to write an objective review about it?

I get the feeling that you want to give this game a 5 or lower, but are giving it a 7/10 because you've read somewhere else that the game is pretty expansive. Or it's that you've only went to Balmora, did a few guild quests, then started writing this review. In that case, you might be overwhelmed by the fact that you have already done 20 quests, are level 6, and have 2% of the map uncovered.

Also:

(You just have to work for it)

Seems like you were too lazy, or the quests simply didn't appeal to you.

And...

The world is so large and detailed (you can pick up flower pedals) that you have to wonder if anyone that works in Bethesda have a life

Of course they do, they get paid for making it...

My biggest gripe about your review, however, is the lengthy introduction... and after that, you use 1-3 lines to describe each game aspect. It's LONGER than the actual review, actually.

The only criticism that I can go out of my way to provide is the fact that you don't seem to have experienced much of either the game or proper journalism.

You really do need to play the game more. It's hard to take this review seriously, considering how little of it you seem to have played.

More importanly, though, proofread, and stop with the puerile humor until you figure out how to make it funny (Yahtzee is good at this), or just so ridiculous people just take it at face value (I do this sometimes when I do a review).

Instead of "shittier than a diaghreea shit that's being shitted out of the shittiest shit of all shits", I would try "shittier than the most prolific cesspool in the darkest, most dysentric reaches of the jungles of central Africa". That's just me, though.

On another note, Alchemy is fucking awesome. I never, ever make a Morrowind char without it being at least a minor skill.

All Critisism: Saved.

Irmekroache:
All Critisism: Saved.

You are a wise person... or at least, taking steps to become one.

PurpleRain:

Irmekroache:
I'm not being ironic.

Hmm, maybe we're just have too high expectations, what with Larenxis, Gigantor, MGG and Nilcypher that your writing skills are sub-par. Very very sub-par.

Very very sub-par? We're gonna need a new word. Like, quasi-par or something.

Why do we all need to gang up on somebody? Yes, there spelling errors, but at least he is trying! At least he tried to make a point. Irmekroache, good first review. Try to make it longer and check for spelling errors. :)

Thanks!

Pocket_Elf:
Why do we all need to gang up on somebody?

Because It's fun and easy and the drinking the tears of the innocent will cause me to reach a near God-like power.

At any rate, it was fairly well done, but needs to be longer. One way to do it is to put as much text down as you can, and then take out the parts that don't add anything.

qbert4ever:

Pocket_Elf:
Why do we all need to gang up on somebody?

Because It's fun and easy and the drinking the tears of the innocent will cause me to reach a near God-like power.

Only when mixed with gin.

Pocket_Elf:
Why do we all need to gang up on somebody? Yes, there spelling errors, but at least he is trying! At least he tried to make a point. Irmekroache, good first review. Try to make it longer and check for spelling errors. :)

Sorry, but I simply cannot agree with your defensive behaviour. There's a reason why nobody likes the review, and that's simply because it's not a good one. I'm actually appauled by everybody going 'well ok, it wasn't THAT bad...' as soon as someone has pushed the OP into a victim's role. It IS a bad review, period. But that also means there's a lot of room for improvement.

We did offer some constructive criticism (spelled with a C, btw, not critisism), right?
I'm looking forward to Irmekroache's next review though, to see what he has done with our own reviews on his.

Saphatorael:
I'm actually appauled by everybody going 'well ok, it wasn't THAT bad...' as soon as someone has pushed the OP into a victim's role.

By "everyone", you mean me? I'm honored, really, but I only speak as a small part of a much larger power*.

And no, it wasn't bad compared to half the reviews we usally get, but like I, and everyone else has said, there is still much room to improve.

*!sdrow sdrawkcab sih htiw lla uoy yortsed lliw sohtnaZ droL

I don't care if that game is old. When i first played it i was instantly addicted. And thats something only four games have EVR done.

It was decent, but Oblivion was 10 times superior, and I don't care what you say about level scaling, it is perfect for that kind of non-linear game.

Xiado:
It was decent, but Oblivion was 10 times superior, and I don't care what you say about level scaling, it is perfect for that kind of non-linear game.

Sorry to be a complete prick and put up an argument against, but too many Morrowind fans were disappointed by Oblivion. Oblivion is much less of a game than Morrowind is. It just feels emptier than Morrowind, without any substance or balance. I'd have to push the bar and state that Daggerfall is better than Oblivion.

chebmeh:

Xiado:
It was decent, but Oblivion was 10 times superior, and I don't care what you say about level scaling, it is perfect for that kind of non-linear game.

Sorry to be a complete prick and put up an argument against, but too many Morrowind fans were disappointed by Oblivion. Oblivion is much less of a game than Morrowind is. It just feels emptier than Morrowind, without any substance or balance. I'd have to push the bar and state that Daggerfall is better than Oblivion.

I agree. Morrwind was better.

Pocket_Elf:

I agree. Morrwind was better.

*hug*

Irmekroache:
The games becomes shit again after 4 minutes...kind of like real life does when you stop masturbating.

Haha, I'd call that pretty uber. And I would agree, the game is just a bit too large for it's own good.

Well, what a terrible review. My reasons for thinking so are pretty much the same as a few other people's (ComradeJim270, Gigantor, Saphatorael, etc).

Glad to see you're going to take the criticism on board for writing your next review though! Nothing worse that someone that can't take criticism when posting something on a forum. Well, there is probably worse things, but you know what I mean.

Proofreading is your friend. Just next time make sure you play enough of the game to write a more qualified, and fuller review. And just expand on things a little. It's ok to say you don't like the combat, but you didn't elaborate upon that. Justify your opinons with a reason.

Good luck with your next review :)

Oh and for the record, Morrowind was so much better than Oblivion. I too was one of the disappointed ones when I finally got my gleeful mitts on Oblivion. Sure it was a very pretty game, but that's about all there was to it. It didn't have the same depth as Morrowind did, I agree it felt empty.

Morrowind is the only game I've played so far to have me hopelessly addicted to the point where I could spend a couple of hours happily running around exploring areas, rather than completing quests and advancing the story.

...This review is equal to this review of a new hamburger created.

"Well, the waiter set me down a plate of a gorgeous hamburger, and I mean gorgeous by the way it was layered. My senses were overwhelmed by it for a while, but after 5 minutes it became shit again. kind of like life when you stop Masturbating. I really like the variety of ingredients in the burger, even though I took one bite, and all I actually got off that first bite was the bun and a bit of mayo. But really, it's an okay burger, but because it looked good
7/10"

Oh my good lord, a person posting an uninformed opinion of a game on the internet with a little bit of self congratulating on their self perceived awesomeness because they seem to think they can properly construct a sentence. This is a post worthy of scorn... wait, no I'd rather be gaming.

Now I want to play Morrowind again.

I thought the review was only slightly sub-par and at least you take criticism well, but the one thing I don't get is how you could get bored with a game like Morrowind, it's clear that you don't like RPG's and your writing might be better if you reviewed a game that you actually liked