July/August Review Arena: Your Favourite Game.

The time of reckoning is finally upon us. Each contestant has had their chance to make their jabs and thrusts, but now their fate rests in your hands the Escapist community.

In this, the fourth elimination heat, you get the chance to vote for your favourite review. The two contestants with the most votes go through to the next round. You have until midnight (GMT) on Saturday 30th August to cast your vote.

F.A.Q.

Q: So, how do I vote?
A: Simply post the name of the review you like the best.

Q: How come there's no poll?
A: Polls are for cowards. The contestants will succeed or fail knowing who their friends are.

Q: How were the groups determined?
A: Ancient and arcane formulae...with some help from a random number generator

Q: Hey, didn't my review have pictures with it?
A: Quite possibly, but we're concerned with the quality of your writing, not your ability to find pictures on Google.

Q: Do the contestants get to vote?
A: Certainly, although not in their own heats obviously.

LET THE VOTING BEGIN!

Level 64 Klutz - Dragon Quest VIII
Dunnn du-du-dun-dun dunnnnn
Dunnn du-du-dun-dun dunnnnn...
Ah, Dragon Quest, the series that has kept faithful to its basic formula for two decades, diverging only to cash in on the Pokemon craze. To many of its fans, the franchise defines the classical turn-based RPG; Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King does little to change this, while still managing to give the aging franchise a fresh new feel.
The first thing anyone would notice is the new look, which takes a daring leap into the 3-dimensional world. Utilizing what is agreeably (see what I did there?) the best cel-shading that the Playstation 2 has to offer and the character design skills of--well, most would know him as the Dragon Ball Z guy--the game looks brilliant, colorful, and expansive. I say expansive because, although the characters are in a world map outside of towns and dungeons, the world is proportioned so as to not take away from any immersion the game has to offer.
The story is simple enough at first: your entire kingdom, king and princess, have all been cursed by some dude; as the unnamed sole survivor of the atrocity, you take it upon yourself to hunt him down. Along the way, you adventure through side-plot after side-plot in a style reminiscent of Saturday-morning anime, meeting quirky, colorful characters and battling legions of colorful monsters (slimes abound in every shape and size, of course). Did I mention this game was colorful?
Although grinding is one of the major flaws of any Dragon Quest game, it's really not a big problem here. The world offers plenty of distractions for anyone sick of endlessly chasing down metal slimes, including a monster-training side quest for fans of the Dragon Quest Monster games. Not to mention a fun item-synthesis and recipe system. Still, once you reach the higher levels you'll be spending a lot of time leveling, so if you're not a fan of grindtastic RPG's, this might not be for you.
For those who don't mind the grinding, let's discuss how exactly you'll be going about that, shall we? The game implements the random battle system we all adore so much (again, staying true to its humble beginnings) and your basic turn-based combat. Character development is done by assigning points earned after leveling up to 4 different attributes, which allow your characters to earn titles and skills. By the way, here's a short logic problem for ya: Your party consists of three guys and one girl, who gets the whip attribute?
Oh and the music is basic Sugiyama, that's all I'll say about that. I'm not a fan, but plenty worship him.
So if you miss the old days of RPG's, or even want a taste of what that was like without abandoning your sparkly graphics, pick up this game. It offers at least 100+ hours of gameplay for anyone who takes the time to look, so it's also an excellent choice if you like games that last.

Strafe McGee - System Shock 2
Space is a lonely place. I drafted into the services. Marine Core. Navy. Hell, I even joined the Psi-Core, for Christ's sake. You drift from outfit to outfit, hoping you survive long enough out there with the other misfits and losers to get the call, taking you away from the relentlessness of it all. Hoping there's something better just around the corner.
They say hope springs eternal. But they've not seen the things I've seen.
I got called to the Von Braun. Boss said they asked for me specifically. Next thing I know, I'm on board one of the cushiest ships in the galaxy with a bunch of science geeks, wondering what the hell I'd done to deserve the easy life.
"Where we going?" I asked one of the scientists.
"Way out there!" He said, and grinned. "Next stop, who knows!"
I smiled, and went back to patrolling the peaceful ship. That's when the lights went out.
I wake up and some chick's screaming into my ear. "Get out of there! The cabin's depressurising! GO!" Stumbling out of the room barely awake, I get out just as the pressure doors seal behind me. I fall back, panting against the door, waiting for my head to readjust to consciousness. My heartbeat goes back to normal and then I hear it.
The screaming.
Polito, the chick, and my only friend, says that it's up to me now. We're the only ones left. She says that something's happened to the people on the ship, something unimaginable. Their bodies have been twisted into these... abominations. Their mangled flesh has changed their voices into tortured wails of pain. And they still remember what it was like when they were human. Killing them isn't murder - it's mercy.
I was never trained for this. It's too much. "Cyber upgrades." Says Polito. "They'll make you stronger. Quicker. Less likely to die." So I give up parts of myself, piece by piece. Less human, but still alive. The blood is everywhere... smeared on the walls... Remember Citadel... You Should Not Have Come...
Insect...
The deeper I get into the ship, the more things I see. A doctor, one of the first to be infected, drugged his nurses to turn them into inhuman cyborgs. The monkeys have gone crazy, somehow developing psychic powers, their shrieks echoing round the ship. I keep finding equipment to help fight them all, but it's never enough. Hacking computers keeps the security cameras off my back for a while, but still I feel hunted.
Look at you, hacker. A pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine?
That damn voice is everywhere. Even when I sleep I hear her... Wait. Did you hear that? Polito? Polito! Are you there? Answer me, dammit! Shit...! Okay then you sons of bitches, I'm waiting for you... Come and get me.

jebussaves88 - Max Payne
It is around seven years now since the facially constipated cop first slow-mo dived into mainstream gaming. Being one of the first games to successfully include "Bullet Time" a style of gunplay inspired by "The Matrix", the core gameplay element is unashamedly stylistic gun fighting in a leather jacket.
Players take on the role of Max Payne, a DEA officer with nothing to lose, who wages a one man war on those who he sees responsible for the murder of his wife and baby daughter, a war which will take him from local mob wars to battling divisions of the government itself.
The plot is a rarity in gaming, in that it is probably as compelling as any novel or graphic novel of recent years, maybe because its cut-scenes mainly take the form of the former. The dark and seedy style of the game is perfectly reflected in the comic book pages of Max's crusade. Voice acting is spot on, with Max's deep and broken voice adding to his pissed-off character, whilst weedy cowardly gangsters such as Vinnie Gognitti are perfectly caricatured by their voice alone.
Graphically, especially for its time, Max Payne holds up pretty well even compared to later Xbox titles. Whilst Ragdoll and advanced physics are missing, this doesn't take away from the gameplay. Levels are well designed and often frightening (as anyone who has played through the nightmare levels will tell you), and everywhere from the dilapidated halls of Lupino's hotel to the lobby of the Aesir skyscraper feels how it should.
Difficulty wise, Max Payne can be as challenging as you wish. The easiest difficulty, whilst still often posing a challenge, is comfortable enough for new gamers and those who wish merely to play for the plot. Harder difficulties however, such as the Time Attack-esque New York Minute Mode, will punish players for even the slightest of errors.
Luckily, "Bullet Time" in this game is one of the few examples that prove it to be essential to gameplay, allowing perfect timing for jumping out on that goon with your sawn-off shotgun before he does the same to you. Tapping Left Trigger whilst moving will engage a "Shootdodge", a slow motion dive through the air which can give you the upper hand over your enemies, whilst tapping L whilst stationary slows time even further, allowing you to run and fight in slow-mo, whilst aiming in real-time.
As for replay value, since 2001 I have played this game at least once a year. Much like "Pulp Fiction" or "Reservoir Dogs", Max Payne is worth keeping around for a replay every now and then.

The_root_of_all_evil - Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
You have 3 new messages
Sonny? Tommy. We may have a problem.

Sonny. Calm down. What did you expect? I've only just been released.
Seeing the sunset behind the Hotel kept me occupied last night. Beautiful.
Know how long since I seen a sunset?
Fifteen years.
I'll find it, the money that is. In the mean time you should think about moving some of the guys down here. This city is the most beautiful place I've seen. Sometimes I'll just go driving during just as the sun goes down with the music blaring just to really soak in the experience.

Speaking of the music, there's some good talent there we really gotta look at. There's everything from Brutal Rock to Love Songs to this New Wave stuff, and most of the cars even have eight-tracks so you can put your own music in.
As for your money, I've already made some contacts and there's a more than enough ways to get it back. Hell, I could just beat up passers by, but the law don't like that.
The police may be idiots, but trouble soon escalates up to FBI proportion here. I'm marking a whole set of bribes down on my account, so this better be getting back to me sometime.
There's some old African statues lying round the city though, so I'm collecting them for insurance.
Just gotta switch car, hold on.
Ey, what are you doing, puta?
Like I was saying...ey...this is a nice car. There's loads of ways I can see to get your money back Sonny, but there's also the straight path, if I wanted to follow that coked up lawyer of yours. But...
Be right back, the Haitians are firing at me. Think I went on too many rampages through their streets.
*click*

Sonny? Tommy. Managed to sort the Haitians out with a little ventilation. Since I last rang I've managed to find who was the cause of our problem and made a friend.
Now as long as that idiot Lance doesn't do anything stupid. We'll be on our way to getting your money back.
We've got rocket launchers, flame throwers, M-16's, the works.
And if Cortez comes through, maybe some military hardware. I've always wanted to drive a tank, but I guess a helicopter will do.
*click*

Sonny? Tommy. Vice City is mine now. Not yours, after you sent that idiote to off me, but mine. I've got clubs, strip joints, cars and all the mercenaries & weaponry I need. And it was so enjoyable, I wish I could do it again.
You want Vice City? Take it from me.
*click*
Get the boys. Now.

Dang, close freakin' call between root_of_all_evil and Strafe McGee. I like them both.

Dang, Strafe McGee will have to get it, if only because if I hadn't known the game, I would know nothing about the gameplay itself for GTA:VC, whereas I feel I have a better hold on System Shock 2. Good work Strafe McGee, although honorable freakin' mention root_of_all_evil.

Cookie to them both for being awesome.

I vote for Strafe McGee

The_root_of_all_evil gets my vote. While I loved both his and Strafe's approaches to their reviews, the fact that Root's made me laugh puts it high in my book.

Level 64 Klutz gets my vote. I'm a fan of the DQ/DW series, and I agree with his review.

While I think that Strafe Mcgee and the_root_of_all_evil did fabulous bits of writing, my vote goes to Level 64 Klutz, for the other two were far too abstract to express all of the elements of the game.

Strafe McGee gets my vote.

Strafe

Level 64 Klutz, for me. I haven't played Vice City or System Shock 2 (any of the games up there, actually) but I had no clue what the hell the other two were saying. That's not to say they were badly written, they certainly weren't, but as a comprehensive review Klutz's just worked better.

You know, I just knew I was going to end up facing off against Root for the first heat! Best of luck guys, these are all great reviews.

Level 64 Klutz gets my vote. He has a greater level of quality and standards than one would come to expect

My vote's for The_root_of_all_evil.

The_root_of_all_evil is king, when I saw his review, I new I had no chance.

God...I know how Gwyneth Paltrow felt...Though I'm unable to vote, I'll give a honorable one to the other two. Really stiff competition.

Strafe McGee

As much as I loved the opening line to the Max Payne review it just doesn't flow well enough to earn my vote. I'll have to go with Strafe McGee.

My money's on the DQ8 review. It actually told me in 500 words or less why I should (or shouldn't) buy the game and isn't that the entire point of a games review in the first place?

Ugh, toss up between Strafe and Root. They were both very good. I think I'll have to go Strafe in this round though.

The_root_of_all_evil. That a very interesting style. Actually makes me want to play the game to find out more.

Strafe, I felt root_of_all_evil's review wasn't much of a review.

The_root_of_all_evil - Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

In-game quotes and colorful explanation win it.

Root.

Strafe, even though he's totally ripping off my GTA IV review entry.

I'm not bitter...really.

*cough*

Root_of_all_evil for me.

Hey Joe:
Strafe, even though he's totally ripping off my GTA IV review entry.

I'm not bitter...really.

*cough*

Eh? I just read it and the only real similarity between the two is that they're both written in first person...

Lvl 64 Klutz - Dragon Quest VIII

I don't really like the narrative style of reviewing to be honest, doesn't tell me anything about the game but is at best a nift piece of writing.

the monopoly guy:
Strafe, I felt root_of_all_evil's review wasn't much of a review.

*scratches Monopoly guy off my Xmas list* ;)

Damn, this is gonna be close...

The root of all evil. T.R.O.A.E... Troae? Troy! His name is Troy!

I've done my job.
*rides off into sunset*

Wow, not a single vote, haha.

Nah, my one wasn't all that good. I'll vote for Strafe. The Vice City one didn't really work for me

jebussaves88:
Wow, not a single vote, haha.

Nah, my one wasn't all that good. I'll vote for Strafe. The Vice City one didn't really work for me

Your review was imaginative and interesting but it flowed like ass because of your sloppy sentence structure (I am aware that my cracy is in fact hypo). That can be worked on though. A lack of imagination (which is what a lot of new reviewers lack) can't be.

Strafe Mcgee:

Hey Joe:
Strafe, even though he's totally ripping off my GTA IV review entry.

I'm not bitter...really.

*cough*

Eh? I just read it and the only real similarity between the two is that they're both written in first person...

AND NOBODY DID THAT TILL I DID IT!

NOBODY!

Nah, it's cool. Just me being a shameless self-promoter again.

jebussaves88:
Wow, not a single vote, haha.

Nah, my one wasn't all that good. I'll vote for Strafe. The Vice City one didn't really work for me

Hey I gave you an honorable one. Can people who didn't like mine please PM me why? I'm really interested to know.

Wow, a really close heat there! After quickly dispatching Jebussaves88, Strafe and Rain turned their attention to Lvl64 Klutz. Klutz fought a valiant battle, but he couldn't stand up to the tag team assualt.

Strafe Mcgee and The_root_of_all_evil go through to round two!