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July/August Review Arena - Heat 6

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nilcypher
News Room Contributor
Posts: 1876
Joined: 21 Feb 2008

July/August Review Arena: Your Favourite Game.

image

The time of reckoning is finally upon us. Each contestant has had their chance to make their jabs and thrusts, but now their fate rests in your hands the Escapist community.

In this, the sixth elimination heat, you get the chance to vote for your favourite review. The two contestants with the most votes go through to the next round. You have until midnight (GMT) on Monday 1st September to cast your vote.

F.A.Q.

Q: So, how do I vote?
A: Simply post the name of the review you like the best.

Q: How come there's no poll?
A: Polls are for cowards. The contestants will succeed or fail knowing who their friends are.

Q: How were the groups determined?
A: Ancient and arcane formulae...with some help from a random number generator

Q: Hey, didn't my review have pictures with it?
A: Quite possibly, but we're concerned with the quality of your writing, not your ability to find pictures on Google.

Q: Do the contestants get to vote?
A: Certainly, although not in their own heats obviously.

LET THE VOTING BEGIN!

Model G - Final Fantasy VI
Final Fantasy VI for the Game Boy Advance. Was a crazy experience for me. I would sometimes hear my brother and cousins talk about. And when it came out for the Advance I had to get it.
Now you play as young girl named Terra who has no memories what so ever. And the main villain of FF VI (and my favorite) is Kefka and is trying to take over the World of Balance. FF VI has the largest playing cast in the main series. And all (expect two of them) are great. It still retained a few things from both the original Japanese and English versions.
Because it's a re-release that means new things. New equipment and new soundtrack and two new dungeons and new enemies and a few extra bosses. Woah I think those were spoilers!
Moving on...most of the script I'm sure was rewritten but it was still was awesome even if it was. It still had it's action, humor, drama, and crappy romance! And it's psychotic and crazy characters.
The battle system and gameplay was basically the same as the original. It didn't change as much but it was still alright. The same goes for most of the characters personality's.
In closing the game had both new and old which I enjoyed. If any of you have a problem with the FF series AND FF VI...SCREW YOU and SUCK IT! I hope you all have a good day and just cause I'm a nOOb doesn't mean I can't do this. Ha.

Indigo_Dingo - Hitman: Blood Money
A games replay value is a crucial factor. Sure, gameplay, visuals and story are all essential for a game, but if you can't play it again and get some more joy from it, you may as well just return it to the store. The joy you can get from reliving the events and the multiple ways to achieve the same end are the deciders of replay value, and there are few games that deliver both in such a perfect harmony as Hitman: Blood Money.
NO! Not the rubber Ducky!
The 4th in the line of Hitman games, Blood Money is a game made by a younger IO interactive - one that didn't need bribe money to get good reviews. The game continues the series gameplay of letting the player blend into the crowd - moving with packs, not drawing attention to themselves, and swapping clothes as the need arises.
However, Blood Money takes the whole thing in a new direction in a few ways - 1, you are actually paid for your assassinations, and since 47 isn't exactly using the money for a night on the town, you can spend it on bribing away your international heat caused by bad playing, paying for information, or upgrading your tools of the trade. And 2. - Traps. Have you ever been stuck in a badly acted play, looked up at the lights, and had this image of the entire rigging coming crashing down, crushing the lead? Do you want to? Or have you ever seen someone standing at the epicentre of a pyrotechnics display, and had the image of a misfire? Agent 47 still carries his trusty Ballers, his fiber wire and his lockpick, but now the environment he finds himself in is his weapon too.
The possibilities for getting through a level are numerous, like all other stealth games, but diverse enough that you can feel delighted when a new action causes a new reaction. Your methods can range from crushing targets, to sniper fire, poisoning, drowing, being ripped apart by gators and sharks, and having someone else shoot them for you.
One criticism some may find is that the game rips off a fair amount of the plot of the Metal Gear Solid series - you have Agent 47's albino clone brother, and the battle with him at a universally recognised area, as well as a shadowy organisation that controls the White House for its own ends. If you really wanted, you could feel cheated by that. Or you could get on with snapping the neck of the riverboat captain who anally rapes his busboys. Its your call.
The game is available on the Ps2, the 360 and Windows, so for the majority of us it should be easy to grab a copy.
Hitman : Blood Money is a must for the sadist in all of us. Buy it and keep it near the top of the pile

Hey Joe - The Sims
Are you ready to go down the rabbit hole to witness the battle between the super-ego and the id? You stare at the void and it stares at you, you engage in Cartesian irony in a post modern celebration of the potential of gaming as conceptual art. Can you dig the crazy Java?
It's hard to know what to make of this game. Mostly because of my confusion of what a 'game' is after playing this. Sure, it has some pretty loose objectives and some game play mechanics that mainly involve keeping your sim alive and avoiding becoming destitute, but this game really is what you make of it.
Every day, people are using this game to design the perfect home, weave stories about family and building a better self. Others use this game for darker means, acting out delusional fantasies of torture in a safe environment. Others simply let their sims be, and watch.
Voyeurism in the extreme reigns as we are given omnipotence to peep at the freak show, but not only to watch, but to control (at three different speeds!).
But what is it we do with this opportunity, or burden? Do you try to fulfil the...worldly aspirations of your experiments or perhaps destroy them?
I once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die...
Whichever way you want to splice it, the potential for social commentary on the human condition inherent in this...video game (Surely a mere 'game' is incapable of philosophical merit!) is what sets it apart from others, and has its place in my esoteric heart.
Let me weave you a tale now, as my wax lyrical perhaps leaves one without a central point on which to hang my observations.
I will tell you the tale of Thom Hasluck, a man of crushing loneliness. His days are filled with activities of reading (he must learn the secrets of Baked Alaska for one), painting pictures of flowers and trees. He yearns for the outside, but no, he must build his skill.
I do not relinquish control, I'm playing a game here and he is my chess piece. I own him. What have I become to not allow him social contact? What do I care? It's just a game.
I notice there's a sim on my lawn. Should Thom greet them? I know he wants to as his free will orders him to do so. I should've turned that off. I cancel the order, he has knowledge to acquire, he has no time for this foolishness. He is the perfect being I...I have created!
He stands up to my will, his need constantly taking over whatever he is doing.
FINE THEN! Get this out of your system, then get back to becoming the perfect being!
He walks out to the lawn, but it's too late. The Sim on my lawn is gone, Thom gets back to his books and I realise it's 2AM and I have five missed calls on my phone.

Some_Jackass - Ace Combat 6: Fires of Liberation
Asking a gamer to pick their favorite game is like asking a fat kid to pick their favorite cake...while in a cake shop. What I'm trying to say is no game is alike unless its in a series, so one games minor point could be the selling point for another. With that said, allow me to review one of my favorite "pretty" games.
Ace Combat 6s selling point is that it's a pretty game. You fly into battles that have jaw dropping graphics that at times are so polished and realistic, they make GTA IV feel inadequate. The drawback here is that while thousands of feet in the air, the ground can look magnificent, but when you fly low and get a look, it looks like its more suitable for the 8 bit era. Of coarse what the hell are you doing that close to the ground in a flying game anyway?
There is a plot involving a war or something that the game revolves around, but the only plot you need is anything red on your radar needs killing. You also get a wingman who can get pretty irritating early on by talking, but makes up for it by being very competent in action. You can order him to cover your butt or to get aggressive and shoot down whatever he can, which he does a halfway decent job at, but at a slow pace of attack.
The user interface can get confusing at times when you have nothing short of a dozen different blinking targets on screen at once, it can become nothing short of a clusterf**k, but if you pay enough attention and keep an eye on the enemy you're targeting, you'll be fine.
There is a certain level of relaxation a flying game can invoke, which AC6 brings out at the beginning of each level: miles above Earth going at a nice, steady pace. This could be a good thing or frustrating as hell for people, as your 1st target will be an easy 10 seconds away from you. The main reason is that most levels aren't just the linear "go here and kill these guys" set up. Sometimes you get the choice of where you start, who you attack 1st and how you want to go about attacking. Do you want to go head on or try to sneak around and attack from a different angle than your allies? AC6 allows you to strategize a bit before you jump right in.
Take my word for it when I say enjoy the view and relax a bit at the start, because when you get into dogfights left and right and try to evade missiles that are locked on, it can get exhilarating and the last thing you'll do is sightsee.
Overall I'd say you should at least rent it in case it isn't your cup of tea, but its defiantly worth a try either way.

Mr.Pandah
Press Junketeer
Posts: 433
Joined: 20 Jul 2008

Definitly going for Hey Joe on this one, just because he pulled me in so well and the story of his Sim made me laugh.

blackadvent
Beat Writer
Posts: 225
Joined: 16 Nov 2007

Hey Joe is definitely the strongest contender this round.

Tanthalos
Beat Writer
Posts: 216
Joined: 25 Mar 2008

Hey Joe

L.B. Jeffries
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1444
Joined: 29 Nov 2007

Some_Jackass - Ace Combat 6: Fires of Liberation

Learn to use spell check. Otherwise, I liked the way you described the experience of the game.

Spartan Bannana
PROBATION
Posts: 3065
Joined: 27 Apr 2008

Hey Joe, you have my vote for a well written, well fleshed out review

User was put on probation for: The Official Fallout 3 Thread. . (3 days)
thebobmaster
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 7042
Joined: 28 Nov 2007

Hey Joe, way to go.

Knight Templar
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1279
Joined: 29 Dec 2007

Hey Joe.

The_root_of_all_evil
News Room Contributor
Posts: 4840
Joined: 13 Feb 2008

I really liked Indigo's, but then I read Hey Joe's. Sorry, The Joe gets this round.

Unsung
Copy Clerk
Posts: 52
Joined: 29 Aug 2008

Hey Joe - The Sims

Well written, informative, and had me chuckling a bit. <3

mjhhiv
Press Junketeer
Posts: 493
Joined: 22 Jun 2008

Hey Joe gets my vote.

Larenxis
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1864
Joined: 13 Dec 2007

Hey Joe's was nice, but I'll confess I was rather displeased by all the offerings. I like grammar and everyone seemed to have a shortage of it. He gets my vote nonetheless.

Decoy Doctorpus
King of the Yetis
Posts: 1958
Joined: 15 Jul 2008

I vote for Hey Joe but I agree with Larenxis. This certainly isn't the best group out of the ones we've seen so far.

the monopoly guy
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2742
Joined: 8 May 2008

Dammit, I'll be a rebel.
Indigo_buntingDingo gets my vote.

SimuLord
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 694
Joined: 20 Aug 2008

Hey Joe, where you goin' with that mouse in your hand?

Gonna torture this lady, caught her messin' 'round with the postal man.

Kudos for one of the best reviews I've seen of the 24 posted thus far.

Jumplion
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2959
Joined: 10 Mar 2008

I'm going to give Model G a sympathy vote, simply because I know how it feels to be neglected :'( (btw, you're all still sheep)

Indigo_Dingo
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 6543
Joined: 30 Jan 2008

I'll kill you all!

Hey Joe
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1465
Joined: 23 Dec 2007

I'll cast my vote for Indigo_Dingo as the best of the rest.

Also, WHO SAID MY GRAMMAR WAS BAD!?

The short sentences are meant to be ironic. I opened by asserting that The Sims can be argued as a piece of conceptual art, and my intention was to write a review that did not find safety in the haven of good grammar, instead I chose to push the boundaries to reflect the subject matter.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Indigo_Dingo
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 6543
Joined: 30 Jan 2008

Hey Joe:
I'll cast my vote for Indigo_Dingo as the best of the rest.

Also, WHO SAID MY GRAMMAR WAS BAD!?

The short sentences are meant to be ironic. I opened by asserting that The Sims can be argued as a piece of conceptual art, and my intention was to write a review that did not find safety in the haven of good grammar, instead I chose to push the boundaries to reflect the subject matter.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

We're actually not allowed to vote in the heats we are a part of, even if we aren't voting for ourselves.

Jumplion
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2959
Joined: 10 Mar 2008

Indigo_Dingo:
I'll kill you all!

Now you know how I feel [willy]Ya bastard![/willy]

Hey Joe
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1465
Joined: 23 Dec 2007

Indigo_Dingo:
We're actually not allowed to vote in the heats we are a part of, even if we aren't voting for ourselves.

My bad. Disregard my vote. Just like my ex disregarded my dignity...

*cries*

HSIAMetalKing
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1495
Joined: 2 Jan 2008

Hey Joe has won my heart in this heat.

the monopoly guy
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2742
Joined: 8 May 2008

Indigo_Dingo:
I'll kill you all!

But I voted for you!
image

Indigo_Dingo
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 6543
Joined: 30 Jan 2008

the monopoly guy:

Indigo_Dingo:
I'll kill you all!

But I voted for you!
image

What, people didn't vote for me? I had no idea. I was just making conversation.

Gigantor
Genetically Different
Posts: 463
Joined: 26 Dec 2007

Hey Joe for me, even if it felt like I wasn't doing enough drugs to understand it.

Lord Krunk
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2692
Joined: 3 Mar 2008

Larenxis:
Hey Joe's was nice, but I'll confess I was rather displeased by all the offerings. I like grammar and everyone seemed to have a shortage of it. He gets my vote nonetheless.

I agree. Hey Joe wins, but there wasn't much competition.

Except for Indigo_Dingo.

sammyfreak
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1555
Joined: 5 Dec 2007

Indigo_Dingo - Hitman: Blood Money

PurpleRain
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 4245
Joined: 2 Dec 2007

Hey Joe definatly has won this round, so I'll say Indigo's review because it was a close second and want to see it through the rest of the rounds.

RAKtheUndead
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1222
Joined: 23 Oct 2007

And even though Hey Joe's review was the best, I'm voting for Indigo_Dingo to bolster his support.

Indigo_Dingo
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 6543
Joined: 30 Jan 2008

Just my luck, I end up against that.

Hey Joe
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1465
Joined: 23 Dec 2007

All you need is top two, and then it's completely random criteria time! Anybody can win from there!

Indigo_Dingo
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 6543
Joined: 30 Jan 2008

Oh. Cool. I thought it was only the actual winner who advanced.

Lord Krunk
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2692
Joined: 3 Mar 2008

Nope. You easily go into the top two, with the others you're pitted against.

Hey Joe
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1465
Joined: 23 Dec 2007

Gigantor:
Hey Joe for me, even if it felt like I wasn't doing enough drugs to understand it.

Or maybe drinking too much. It's hard to tell with you, you drunk bastard. Don't ever change.

the monopoly guy
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2742
Joined: 8 May 2008

I'm going to be stuck in the same heat as Decoy Doctorpus, and did you see what he reviewed? He's going to win just for sheer obscurity. Not to mention the fact that in hindsight my review wasn't too good to begin with.

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