The time of reckoning is finally upon us. Each contestant has had their chance to make their jabs and thrusts, but now their fate rests in your hands the Escapist community.
In this, the tenth and final elimination heat, you get the chance to vote for your favourite review. The two contestants with the most votes go through to the next round. You have until midnight (GMT) on Friday 5th September to cast your vote.
F.A.Q.
Q: So, how do I vote? A: Simply post the name of the review you like the best.
Q: How come there's no poll? A: Polls are for cowards. The contestants will succeed or fail knowing who their friends are.
Q: How were the groups determined? A: Ancient and arcane formulae...with some help from a random number generator
Q: Hey, didn't my review have pictures with it? A: Quite possibly, but we're concerned with the quality of your writing, not your ability to find pictures on Google.
Q: Do the contestants get to vote? A: Certainly, although not in their own heats obviously.
LET THE VOTING BEGIN!
Pie - Fallout 2 Now, myself, I wasn't ever really into the fallout universe, not until recently and I've got to admit, I've missed a lot. The original, fallout one, was based more so on trial and error. As in, go here, try this- fail, try that- fail, until you found the winning formula. To be perfectly honest, not much changed from that formula, which in some cases isn't always a bad thing. Sure, if you've played fallout one, you'd be familiar with the mechanics of the game, but for people just getting into it the game can be completely and utterly brutal, on so many levels. To paint a picture of my own personal experience, I have played the original and there for knew the mechanics kind of well; I went into the game with a pretty decent amount of confidence. I got past the first story sequence and straight into the game. Twenty minutes later, I had restarted it. The game is just that brutal and unforgiving, if you mess up then you're going to deal with it pretty hard, which can be a bit of a downer for people not used to the previous version. Seeing as this game dates back to forever ago, it is not exceptionally pretty, but the visuals are good enough for most people to adore the quirky way that the fallout story takes place in. In reality, the game was made a long time ago and it has indeed aged well enough, though it's still a bit primitive. The reason that it is good, even after a million years since it's release, is that it's story is simply so complex and entertaining. The story itself is just superb, at first I found myself skipping the cut scenes to just get into the gameplay, but that's just the problem, fallout isn't just about game play, it's all about being immersed into the play experience. And for that it gets top marks. But every good thing comes with drawbacks, for one, the combat is tedious and is a big time eater. Also, the game is, like I said, a trial and error type game. It is a problem with such a game when you find yourself in a jam, only having to reload from a position two hours ago which is frustrating. While the game focuses on story, this leaves other things lacking. Throughout the game, there are only about 40 different character models, so it seems like you keep seeing the same person which tends to break the immersion. The game also introduces a few just generally bad ideas. Generally fallout is a good game, for it's age, it's certainly entertaining enough for me to want to finish it, though if you don't like playing immersive games then this one is not for you, though if you do however like to play those types of games then it is worth the price of a bargain bin game and it kills quite a lot of time.
L.B.Jeffries - Super Mario Galaxy There once was a game from Japan, About a jumping Red Man. With mushrooms he grew stronger, flowers made his life last longer, and coins earned him many a fan.
But as the sequels went by, players stopped wanting to die. They made the game less tricky, they made the power-ups more nifty, and now anyone can play as that Red Guy.
So they sent him into space, such an amazing place. So many stars to collect, the same old Princess to protect, but little to explain the newfound pace.
You can ride on Manatees, you can even talk to psychotic peas. But at around Star Seventy, you'll wonder about brevity, and instead play something with Miis.
There once was a game from Japan, About a jumping Red Man. With mushrooms he grew stronger, flowers made his life last longer, and coins earned him many a fan.
Spartan Banana - Bioshock Bioshock is game that almost anyone can love, whether it's for the inventive combat, great story, or the piss your pants horror moments, this game is a little bit like a hooker, it will do anything besides kiss on the lips. You play a faceless character named Jack, who crashes in the middle of the ocean and just like in all horror, decides to enter the conveniently placed lighthouse, which by the way is in the middle of the ocean. You begin your trek down to the city of Rapture looking at the brilliantly designed art deco 1950's style signs; while listening to a brilliant monologue by Andrew Ryan, who begins the stories heavy parallels to Ayn Rand's novel, Atlas Shrugged. As soon as the bathysphere lands, the game makes a complete shift and you witness a brutal murder to remind that it's a horror game, and soon you get your first weapon: A wrench. I feel the need to mention this because with Bioshock's stellar upgrade system, it makes the household tool, possible the first melee weapon useful throughout a game, you can also upgrade your guns to do more damage, have more ammo, and generally be badass. You'll use your newfound buddy to kill your first splicer with a unique personality, a pyromaniac who has a need to be in group therapy, you'll meet many more of these, including in the first level alone: A lonely bastard, A female lonely Bastard, a lonely bastard who angers another splicer, a soon to be lonely bastard, a lonely bastard singing about Jesus, a lonely constipated bastard. Then you get your first plasmid: These genetic upgrades are what make combat so diverse and entertaining, they let you light enemies on fire, re-enact the bee-hive scene from My Girl and throw bottles of whiskey at their heads (Why don't you love me daddy?!?!), you can also only carry a few around at a time, which makes it so that you have to strategize depending on the situation. Another thing that makes the combat fun is gene tonics, which give you minor upgrades in combat and in other things (Bow-chicka-wow-wow). The developers have been touting their so called moral choice system from day 1, but in the end whether you harvest or save little sisters really comes down to if you're an achievement whore, or if you're impatient. The funnest thing about the little sisters is fighting the big daddies that guard them, they're the only really challenging enemy of the game and it requires all you've got to beat them. Most of the boss fights are laughably easy, especially the last one, and the addition of instant reviving vita chambers makes it so that there are no consequences for your actions. The endings are polar opposites making you either feel awful or like a sissy. All in all though, I enjoyed Bioshock and would recommend it to everyone here.
I really liked all three of these, but I felt as if the three of them all had pretty big elements that could be improved.
Pie really had me sold on Fallout for a while, then he suggested that the game is great to "kill quite a lot time." L.B. Jeffries wins just about every flavor of internet I have in my repetoire, but as far as game reviews go, I hardly felt like I was sold on the game. Spartan Banana's review was solid, simple, and really left me feeling like there was something else to the whole review thing. It was good, but not great.
In the end, I'm really indecisive on this one. After reading and rereading all of them, Spartan Banana really went the distance in selling me his favorite game when compared to the other two, but I didn't feel swayed to jump up and play any of them, only get up and casually walk.
S'been a pleasurable first round, folks. Can't wait for Round 2.
iWish (see what I did there?) that people would stop spelling my name wrong, but it's alright, if you guys can't bring yourselves to spell something wrong it's okay, this is after all, The Escapist
Pie's review was solid but opened with a horrid sentence that kind of shot the whole thing down for me.
Jeffries' poem was inventive but a large portion of it was a straight forward synopsis rather than a review. It's a case I think of the medium mastering him rather than the other way around.
So my vote has to go for Spartan Banana despite the fact he cannot spell.
So my vote has to go for Spartan Banana despite the fact he cannot spell.
I can spell fine! Banana: n.
1. Any of several treelike Asian herbs of the genus Musa, especially M. acuminata, having a terminal crown of large, entire leaves and a hanging cluster of fruits. 2. The elongated, edible fruit of these plants, having a thick yellowish to reddish skin and white, aromatic, seedless pulp.
Bannana: n.
1. A teenage boy in a banana suit with a kickass iQuit avatar
Sorry Jeffries, I liked the poem as it is, but for a review, it didn't give away too much. Pie did a great job describing the flaws and possitive points of Fallout 2 which I found pretty good. Bannana (I alwys spell your name right) had a few great jokes in there, namely throwing a bottle at a girls head reflecting my childhood.
the monopoly guy: hmmm, I could have sworn more reviews submitted. Do the mods do a little quality control before hand?
If this is the case, thank you. My review sucked.
What, is 39 entries not enough for you? Every entry that was posted has been put in a heat, bar one that was over the word limit; besides the moderators cherry picking the best ones kind of defeats the object of you voting for them.
the monopoly guy: Was that mine then? Because my review wasn't in a heat.
Sure you didn't miss it?
pretty sure.
But, then again, this is me we're talking about. I make mistakes alot.
You're entirely correct. You should have been in heat 9, but I messed up and repeated Jumplion's review. On light of this grievous error, I'm advancing you to round two automatically.
Sorry :(
Anyway, the winners of this round are Spartan Bannana and LB Jeffries.
July/August Review Arena: Your Favourite Game.
The time of reckoning is finally upon us. Each contestant has had their chance to make their jabs and thrusts, but now their fate rests in your hands the Escapist community.
In this, the tenth and final elimination heat, you get the chance to vote for your favourite review. The two contestants with the most votes go through to the next round. You have until midnight (GMT) on Friday 5th September to cast your vote.
F.A.Q.
Q: So, how do I vote?
A: Simply post the name of the review you like the best.
Q: How come there's no poll?
A: Polls are for cowards. The contestants will succeed or fail knowing who their friends are.
Q: How were the groups determined?
A: Ancient and arcane formulae...with some help from a random number generator
Q: Hey, didn't my review have pictures with it?
A: Quite possibly, but we're concerned with the quality of your writing, not your ability to find pictures on Google.
Q: Do the contestants get to vote?
A: Certainly, although not in their own heats obviously.
LET THE VOTING BEGIN!