yes the power of long boring unskipplable cut-scenes beats all.

no wait the power to instantly make pie is better...

The chef bored of the story grab his pie and throws it into deckards face

NO MORE STORY TIME

yeah826:
The chef bored of the story grab his pie and throws it into deckards face

NO MORE STORY TIME

"mmm this pie reminds me of a story. Stay a while and listen."

The figuring out the pie wasn't enough threw the fruitcake

eats some of the fruitcake but it is unbeleivably dry and tries to tell a story about something but can't due to the cake and begins to choke.

The chef realizing the fruitcake actually had a purpose decides to cook more in his oven

while at it throwing deckard in the oven too

*ponders why he just helped kill his own combatant and remember he hates Deckard Cain and allows him to stay dead*

overjoyed the chef makes a cake that he quickly gives to mechanowar and runs away as the cake quickly explodes

fool exploding cake help fuel my power cells! charges up his proton cannon and aims for the chef

THE LORD ULTRA JOE AND HIS NEW AVATAR FIND YOUR PETTY SQUABBLES DISTURBINGLY POINTLESS, HE DEMANDS THAT YOU GROW A PAIR AND GET SOME DOOMSDAY WEAPONS.

AND THEN DARTH MOBIUS STOLE YOUR ULTRA SPEAK AND MADE IT BETTER BY ADDING COLOR... YOU HAVE BEEN DEFEATED FOOLISH ONE!!!! AND AN EXTRA EXCLAMATION POINT LIKE A SHOT TO THE HEAD!

AHA! BUT JOE HIMSELF KNOWS THE SECRETS AND WILL DEFEAT YOU WITH FILTHY LIMERICKS!

BEHOLD THE DANGERS OF EYE TO POLE ANTICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE DEFEATED!

Ultrajoe:
I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS, THE LORD ULTRA JOE DEMANDS:

A) THAT PEOPLE STOP USING ULTRA-SPEAK
B) THE RETURN OF MY CAKE

AND NOW, I SHALL HAVE VENGEANCE

I SUMMON;

GANDALF THE GREY, GANDALF THE WHITE, THE BLACK KNIGHT, BENITO MUSSOLINI, THE BLUE MEANIE, COWBOY CURTIS, JAMBI THE GENIE, ROBOCOP, THE TERMINATOR, CAPTAIN KIRK, DARTH VADER, LO PAN, SUPERMAN, EVERY SINGLE POWER RANGER EVER, BILL S. PRESTON, THEODORE LOGAN, SPOCK, THE ROCK, DOC OCK, HULK HOGAN, OPTIMUS PRIME, BATMAN, SHAQ, ABRAHAM LINCOLN, MEGATRON, GODZILLA, JACKIE CHAN, BRUCE LEE, BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN, KORN, THE GRIM REAPER, GOD, SAMUEL L. JACKSON, WILL SMITH, BUMBLEBEE, SPIDERMAN, THE HULK, IRONMAN, CAPTAIN AMERICA, EFG, RANDOLPH MUNROE, RICHARD GARFIELD, STAN LEE, GARFIELD, BRUCE LEE AGIAN, DAREDEVIL, MR MIAGI, PICKACHU, SOLID SNAKE, BLASTOISE, SLOWPOKE, YUGI, KANE, KHORNE, SLANESH, TZEENCH, NURGLE, THE EMPORER, THYPHUS, KHAN, FABIUS BILE, ARHIMAN, GARBRIEL ANGELOS, A CULTIST, THE AMERICAN NAVY, THE AUSTRALIAN SUBMARINE CORPS, THE SAS, THE MARTIANS, THE ANCIENT AZTECHS, EVERY ZOMBIE FROM EVERY ZOMBIE RP THREAD ON THE ESCAPIST, DARTH ATHRIX, DARTH SIDIOUS, DARTH TYRRANUS, DARTH MAUL, DARK HELMET, OBI WAN, YODA, LUKE SKYWALKER, THE WILHELM SCREAM GUY, THE SCREAM GUY, VINCENT VAN GOUGH, THE GUITARISTS FROM DRAGONFORCE, THE ZERG, THE PROTOSS, THE TERRANS, EVERY SINGLE WORLD OF WARCRAFT CHARACTER EVER, THE BLIZZARD DEVELOPMENT TEAM, EACH AND EVERY SPORE PENIS MONSTER, MOHAMMED, CARTMAN, PAUL SENOIR, PAUL JUNIOR, MIKEY, BEAR GRYLLS, BEAR GRYLL'S MASSIVE BALLS, STRIPPERELLA, LIQUID OCELOT, SOLID SNAKE, BIG BOSS, THE BOSS, REX, RAY, OUTER HAVEN, METAL GEAR MRK III, METAL GEAR MRK II, THAT COOK FROM THE OPENING OF MGS4, RATCHET, CLANK, JAK, DAXTER, ZUES, KRATOS, MASTER CHIEF, GORDON FREEMAN, EVERY SINGLE MAGIC: THE GATHERING SPELL EVER, HARLEQUINS, BON JOVI, CHARIZARD, CHUCK NORRIS, OPRAH WINFREY, DR PHIL, DAVID BLANE, PETER POWERS, DAVID COPPERFIELD, HARRY POTTER, DUMBLEDORE, SNAPE, VOLDEMORT, WOLVERINE, CYCLOPS, STORM, MAGNETO, PYRO, SPIKE, THE BEAST, THE THING, THE FLASH, WEIRD AL, DR CLAW, INSPECTOR GADGET, GUMBI, NODDY, ALTAIR, VENOM, ULDAN, ILLIDAN, MALFURION, YUHZAN VONG, EVERY WARHAMMER SOLDIER EVER OF ANY RACE, EVERY WH40K SOLDIER EVER OF ANY RACE, THE TRUE TYRANID FLEET (THE GALAXY EATING ONE), THE SILVER SURFER, RAIN, BUDDAH, TEALC, THE JAFFA FLEET, ONEIL, BREA'TAC, CARTER, JACKSON, SHEPHARD, THE WRAITH, THE GOA'OULD, URGO, THE REPLICATORS, CAPTAIN FALCON, MARIO, LUIGI, SONIC THE HEDGEHOG, PEACH, TOAD, A GOLEM MADE OF STONEHENGE, THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER, JACK BLACK, THE DEVIL, MADDOX, STEPHEN COLBERT, JON STEWART, BILLY CONNOLY, THE SUN, THE AVATAR, THE DEATH NOTE BOOK, EVERY PERSON AND THING EVER SEEN IN BLEACH, STEVE JOBS, BILL GATES, STEPHEN HAWKING, RICHARD BRANSON, DONALD TRUMP, RICHIE RICH, PETER POTTAMUS, HARVEY BIRDMAN, XENU, CHUCK NOBLET, THE MINESWEEPER SMILEY, BOMBERMAN, RAMBO, JESSE VENTURA, PREDATOR, ALIEN, THE GHOSTS OF GEOGE CARLIN AND HEATH LEDGER, THE JOKER, ANTHONY HOPKINS, RIDDICK, VIN DEISEL, BLADE, VAN HELSING, DRACULA, FANKENSTEIN, FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER, OLIVER, SWEENEY TODD, BEN STILLAR, THE COMBINED FORCES OF THE EMPIRE AND REBELS, THE COMBINE, GLaDOS, CHELL, THE HALF-LIFE RESISTANCE, G-MAN, EVERY DAMNED G-MOD CREATION EVER, THE HERO OUT OF MORROWIND, THE HERO OUT OF OBLIVION, THE NINE DEVINES, THE DAEDRIC PRINES, MEHRUNES DAGON, THE AELIDS, THE DWEMER, VALON DRETH, ARCHANCELLOR RIDCULLY AND THE UU FACULTY, THE WITCHES OF LANCRE, HIS GRACE THE DUKE SIR SAMUEL VIMES AND THE NIGHT WATCH (INCLUDING THE PIECEMAKER AND DETRITUS), THE MONKS OF TIME, THE DISCWORLD GODS, THE GREAT ATUIN, DEATH (NOT THE GRIM REAPER FROM EARLIER, COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS), DEATH OF RATS, QUOTH, MR TEATIME, SHAKESPEARE, CORTANA, ROBERT BROWNING, AL GORE, MANBEARPIG, THE DEATH STAR, THE STAR CRUSHER, CHEWBACCA, THE REPUBLIC COMMANDO, EVERY JEDI EVER, GENERAL GRIEVOUS, THE MUSTAFAR DROID ANAKIN BALANCES ON, NOT JAR JAR BINKS, SORA, ROXAS, ORGANISATION XIII, ANSEM, THE HEARTLESS, EVERY EVE ONLINE SHIP, EVERY FREELANCER SHIP, THE LORD OF THE PIT, THAT BIG DEMON THING FROM FANTASIA, THOSE BROOMS TOO I LIKED THEM, IRONMONGER, ABOMINATION, /b/, TOM GREEN, SKY CAPTAIN, EVERY PERSON IN FULL METAL ALCHEMIST, AN IPHONE, EACH AND EVERY UNIT FROM WARMACHINE, PAC-MAN, ALL THE DIGIMON, ALL THE POKEMON I HAVE FAILD TO MENTION SO FAR, RAIDEN, VAMP, THE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST CORPS, ALL THE SHAULIN MONKS, EVERY GANG IN EXISTANCE, THE MAFIA, THE YAKUZA, THE TEMPLARS, MR BURNS, THE GUY OUT OF SUNSHINE WHO GOES CRAZY, THE BIG SHOW, BATISTA, STEVE AUSTIN, THE MIZ, THE GREAT KHALI, THE GAME, EDGE, MR MCMAHON, EVERY RAT ON THE PLANET, THE BOOGEY MAN, JACK SKELLINGTON, SANTA, EVIL SANTA, ALL THE THINGS FROM SPAWN, SAURON, SAUROMAN, THE URUK-HAI, THE RIDERS OF ROHAN, THE GHOSTS OF DIMMAULT ROAD, THE ORCS, THE SOUTHERLINGS, THE OLIPHANTS, LEGOLAS, GIMLI, FRODO, SAM, PIPPIN, MERRY, ARAGORN, BOROMIR, FARAMIR, TOM BOMBADIL, EVERY LOTR FAN WHO GOT PISSED THAT TOM BOMBADIL WAS NOT IN THE FILMS, THE XBOX FANBOYS, THE PS3 FANBOYS, THE WII FANBOYS, EVERY MECHWARRIOR, THE NIGHTBRINGER, THE DECEIVER, THE VOID DRAGON, THE OUTSIDER, THE LAUGHING GOD, THE SQUAT PLAYERS WHO CRY THAT THEIR ARMY IS NOW WORTH SQUAT (HAHA), ALL THE CATS AND OWLS ON THE INTERNET, THE INTERNET, THE OUTERNET, JACK BAUER, EVERY JAMES BOND, EVERY BOND VILLAIN, JASON BOURNE, THE CHIMERA, THE EGYPTIANS, THE ARMY OF HEAVEN, THE POPE, PETER GRIFFIN, THE CHICKEN, EVERY OLYMPIC SKEET SHOOTER, EVERY IMAGINARY FREIND EVER, THE CREATURES FROM THE COMBINED NIGHTMARES OF HUMANITY, THE DINOSAURS, WALKING SHARKS, GIANT SPIDERS, THOSE MUTANT THINGS OUT OF SPY-KIDS 2, ZELDA, THE MONGOLS AND MY FALLEN BROTHER ALMIGHTYJOE.

I. FUCKING. WIN.

Didn't have time to read it all, did you get John Cena, Batista, The Undertaker, The Great Khali, Kane, Mark Henry, Triple H, The Big Show, Goldberg, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Sgt. Slaughter, Shaun Michaels, Ric Flair, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, Mic Foley, Elijah Burke, Big Daddy V, The Boogey Man, Mini Boogey, Finlay, Hornswoggle, Colin Delaney, J. R., and Beth Phoenix?

Emperor Inferno:

Ultrajoe:
I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS, THE LORD ULTRA JOE DEMANDS:

A) THAT PEOPLE STOP USING ULTRA-SPEAK
B) THE RETURN OF MY CAKE

AND NOW, I SHALL HAVE VENGEANCE

I SUMMON;

THE DOOM LIST

I. FUCKING. WIN.

Didn't have time to read it all, did you get John Cena, Batista, The Undertaker, The Great Khali, Kane, Mark Henry, Triple H, The Big Show, Goldberg, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Sgt. Slaughter, J. R., and Beth Phoenix?

YOU QUOTED THE ENTIRE LIST JUST TO FIND OUT OF I HAD THE WWE GUYS? (I DO BY THE WAY)

*THE LORD ULTRA JOE SENDS THE ENTIRETY OF THE DOOM LIST AT INFERNO, THERE IS NOTHING LEFT*

*Rose looks at the Doomsday list, arches a brow, and sics Micheal on them. The Dragon sits on them all, and looks quite smug with himself*

Dragons beat anything. BRING IT!

I appear with the speed of a bus... and randomly fire beams of exploding icy cow juice at you all then run away at the speed of a bus... WITH ONE WHEEL!

*Rose sees the man running away, is soaked in cow juices, and sends Micheal after him*

Micheal! FETCH! CHEW TOY THAT MOVES!

*Micheal roars in delight, bounding after the man and the bus, trumpeting and flapping his great wings before he's landed with all four talons holding onto the poor bus*

AJ summon the shoopz cannon. it is end. again. AJ then bakes some ultra cake and dangles it in front of ultra joe on a pole

Kenny fire the SUPERSMIRFBEEM!! and obliterates the ultracake!

User was banned for: Your language niggles. (1 days)

That round goes to Wilson ;)

i cast flare

*Jallil misses Mobius...and tormenting Ultra Joe...wants both guys back. COME BACK GUYS!*

However the chickens have 1 weakness... HORRIBLE ENGLISH!
A small explosion marks the entrance of 1337 Pr0, the best leet speakist on Earth.

"OMG U HAX!" He screams at the chickens. "I R TOTALEE BETAR DAN U, AN UR MOM IS MAED OF RINO COKS LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!1!11 LET MEH PLAI U IN HALO AND U WIL DIE FROM MAH ST1CKEHS. OMFG TALKIN CHICKENS U MUST BE USIN VOICE HACKS OMFG NOOOOB111!"

The chickens explode, having been exposed to far too much leet in a small period of time. The remains melt into the ground, tearing themselves from thier current plane of existence to escape the 1337 Pr0.

OOC: I got bored and looked up memes, so I'll steal, er, "borrow" one.

And suddenly, Doctor Octagonapus appeared and Shoop Da Whoop'ed everyone to death. Pwned. ^_^

I summon the all powerful cuteness of Team Fortress 2 Kirby!

The black-clad figure who was so innocently killed by Cortez a million pages ago, rises and becomes an undead zombie... who is dressed and black, and also a figure.... BEWARE

AND THEN IN A BLAZE OF SELF-DESTRUCTIVE GLORY, DARTH MOBIUS PARODY BANNED HIMSELF SO THAT ULTRA JOE COULD NOT HAVE ALL THE GLORY BY HIMSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!

USER WAS BANNED FOR MAKING A PARODY BAN, BEING A DOUCHE, AND USING ONE TOO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS!!

RICKROLL!

USER WAS PARODY BANNED FOR MAKING A PARODY RICKROLL

Cortez, seeing the masses stacked against him, pulls out his ace.

I summon: The entire cast of The View!

People run screaming as the women tear anyone within their grasps appart. Darth mobius slowly goes insane from the noise of inane clucking.

Mwhahahahahahahaha laughs Cortez.

The now black-clad figure zombie freak dude walks out the front door and enters the next bar. He sits down and gets a drink. "Damn, I hate this town". He looks up to see a Space Marine as the bartender. "Ok, now that's just ridiculous" >.<

An old man walked in, he wore a nice suit and a top hat, holding a cane. His mustache looked like a squireel, but awesome-er. He laughed
"cortez! you landed on boardwalk! Pay up!"

Curses! thinks Cortez, he begrudgingly hands over some of his Aztec gold, and quickly jumps aboard the Reading Railroad. jumping off the train near the bar he enters and sees the zombie corpse of the black-clad figure he murdered earlier. Not having any holy-water on him, he shrugs and stabs the space-marine bartender instead. Jumping behind the bar he begins passing out tequila shots with gay abandon.

Massive guy is chargin up his appitite. He is teh brother from another mother of Galactus. HE WILL EAT YOUR WORLD. AND SUPERJOE FOR A SIDE DISH!

http://eatburger.ytmnd.com/

The zombie black-clad now drunk figure or something or rather nothing looks up to see the Space Marine get blasted full of holes.

"Okay dokie... I guess that's what you get for watering down the vodka"

He looks up to see Cortez passing out free drink, grabs one and gulps it down

"Alright, so the guy who just murdered me a second ago is getting me drunk?? Are you on crack?? Wait... Nevermind..."

The zombie black-clad figure, who really desperately needs a name, slides out of his chair and stumbles towards the train. He climbs on, casts a spell of utter-silence on everyone, and then falls to the floor, passed out...

I SUMMON...

http://nukeitfromorbit.com/