Granted, however in doing so the resulting wormhole is traversed by your future self who destroys the time machine to save you from the collapse of existence from the paradox you unwittingly created by going into the future, however by destroying the time machine, you never went into the future, which would then have you wish you had, which would have me grant it sending you into the future and...*head explodes*

I wish quantum theory was easier to understand...

Granted, the world is now a game of pacman. Wacca. Wacca.

I wish the world was a game of pacman.

Granted... and you're Pinky

I wish the world was simple

Granted. The world is now a series of 1's and 0's.

I wish I could program.

Granted, but only a TV remote control.

I wish for a glowing red button.

EDIT: YAY! MUCKRAKER! Now for Infamous Scribbler, Pulitzer Laureate and finally...GONE GONZO!

Just 770 posts to go...

Granted, but it triggers a small implosion around it, killing you if you press it.

I wish for a Llama

Granted, but it loves to spit on you.

I wish for amazingly good luck.

Oh, and thanks, Bling Cat! I forgot to add Press Junketeer to my previous thread.

Granted! However, luck is a nonexistent thing, and as such you are no luckier now than you were before.

I wish for more sunshine.

Granted, we all burn to death you son of a bitch

I wish that i could be famous

Granted, but you cant get out of the house for fear of the horde of paparazzi.

I wish games came out in the summer period.

Granted but you can't afford any of them

I wish that I had an evil twin

Granted, a SIAMESE TWIN! (I bet you saw that coming)

I wish that people would shut up about Chuck Norris and Princess Diana.

Granted, they do and they fail to reveal the secret of immortality accidentally one second after this comes true

I wish someone else was on the escapist...

Granted, but they have no account.

I wish that Freddie Mercury was still alive.

Johnn Johnston:
Granted, but only because everyone loses their vocal chords.

I wish that Freddie Mercury was still alive.

granted you son of a bitch now we have zombies... Happy now? time for some chainsword action as seen in our original zombie survival thread.

I wish i had a chainsword

Granted, but it's being sent by Royal Mail. It will never arrive.

I wish I was a ninja.

Granted, you get killed by something off-camera.

I wish I had 17 pet turtles.

granted, man eating huge-as-tanks snappers

I wish for the next person to not not not not not not grant my wish

Granted, you idiot you created a paradox so its your fault if the universe ends right now.

I wish that I had an army of Spartans at my command that followed my orders without question they are in perfect health have the powered MJOLNIR armor all the weapons from Halo 3, and the vehicles and they were veterans that knew everything about all the stuff I just said and there is no way in hell that they would not follow my orders to the letter.

Granted, but while granting I made you tell them to kill you
I wish I was smarter

Granted, you are to smart for your own good and your brain explodes.

I wish I had Telekinesis.

granted but chris angel kills you
I wish it would stay 50-60 degrees (ferenheit) all year long

Granted, but you are locked in a freezer.

I wish I had a real-life, working, "Get Out Of Jail Free" card.

Granted to bad you can not use it until you are about to die.

I wish all monopoly money I had I could use as real currency.

Granted, but hyper-inflation from that means its worthless.

I wish world poverty would end.

Granted, you just killed everyone thanks

I wish I had all the weapons from CoD4 and all the ammo along with them.

granted but now you can never get a kill

i wish that i had a billion steak and cheese subs

Granted, you die of cholesterol poisoning.

I wish that I could play a real guitar.

Granted, but you have to play it with your nipples in front of your grandma.

I wish I could win at poker.

Granted, a casino in vegas thinks you are cheating and you get dragged into a back room where they find a stack of aces up your sleeve and proceed to beat your mercilessly before burrying your body off a dirt path some 20 miles out in the middle of the desert at night.

I wish that Dragon Ball Z was real and all the events really happened.

Granted, but your house was destroyed in the destruction frenzy.

I wish that my sister would please shut the hell up .

Granted, but your ears fall off

i wish i was president of the world.

Granted, but a coup quickly overthrows your government resulting in your death.

I wish I got paid to surf the internet...

granted but you have to surf for animal sex websites.

i wish i was hung like a black man

Granted...(tries extrememly hard to avoid the term 'lynched')...

I wish I could figure out how to reattach my 'o' key on my laptop