| (Pages: 1 ... 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30 ... 61) | |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 3356 Joined: 26 Feb 2008     | |
Press Junketeer  Posts: 394 Joined: 22 Apr 2008   |
Bah. You are a supporter of one of the candidates, and thus could not do a truely objective summary. Whereas here at Zemalac International we don't really care and can thus give an outside opinion free from bias. On a related note, since I arrived home too late to become a candidate myself, I think I'll set myself up as an outside media firm covering the election. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 3356 Joined: 26 Feb 2008 | A new law I have just created: All women will be granted Five days of PAID Leave for their period! Guys, this is a bonus to you as well because you won't have to work with women who are on their period... |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2077 Joined: 4 May 2008     | Mobius, check your inbox. There should be an action shot of me fightin' the rebels. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1604 Joined: 13 Dec 2007   | |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 3364 Joined: 2 Dec 2007    |
Someone pledged to kill me?! Why would they do that? Toe_bighter you old dog you. |
Infamous Scribbler  Posts: 550 Joined: 1 Jun 2008  |
Official ULTRA PRESS-RELEASE: Citizens of the Escapist! I wish to combat the insidious allegations of mind control put forth against the ULTRA PARTY in the last few days. Allow me to first say, I am not THE ULTRAJOE. I am however the Master of Puppets for the ULTRA PARTY and as such I am intimately familiar with The Party's plans for world dominiation. It is my job to know of all the methods currently available for removing a person's free will/thought and rendering them mindless pawns to be moved at the will of their master. With all humility, It is my forte. Allow me then to say that there are none. The ULTRA PARTY has no plans to revoke your brain's liberty at the moment. It is our goal, and our only goal, to provide a sense of UNITY to the Escapist and bring an end to the partison quibbling which has crippled our fair country in the past years. In fact, not only do I believe that the Ultrajoe has no plans to control your mind, I believe he himself may be a victim of mind control! His recent and drastic change in policy can only be explained if his brain is no longer his own! Who, you may ask, would do such a thing? Well, being the Master of Puppets for THE ULTRA PARTY, I happen to be an expert in this field of study and I have come to a conclusion. It was none other than DARTH MOBIUS! Who would gain the most from controlling Ultrajoe? Obviously, one of his opponents. PurpleRain can be excluded by the lack of Cthulian presence in The ULTRAJOE's post. John Galt and The Logician live in a world far to real to have mind control devices. However, Darth Mobius, being a Sith Lord, has both the motive and ability. Also, his devotion to Star Wars betrays him.
I demand that Darth Mobius release The ULTRA JOE from his grasp and issue a formal apology in addition to a letter of intent not to use the power of the force against his political rivals! This has been a message from THE ULTRA PARTY's Master of Puppets. UNITY '08 |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 3364 Joined: 2 Dec 2007 | You spelt Mobius wrong and I believe it was Ultrajoes insanity just presenting itself. Not mind control. Why else would he have changed footings so mnay times throughout the election. A vote for unity is a vote for an insane man. Remember Charles Manson? |
Pulitzer Laureate  Posts: 723 Joined: 22 Mar 2008  | Yes, his insanity... Mwuahahahahaha |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1604 Joined: 13 Dec 2007 | Well, The Logician and HSIAMetalKing have left our ranks, unable to complete the first challenge. At this point we will accept any videos or slanderous posters. I will be starting an official debate soon enough, so that will be our next challenge. Prepare your talking points until then, I bid you adieu. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1308 Joined: 3 Mar 2008  |
Fine, then. Labotomies are not the way to go, as it is hazardous. You need to take out their brains COMPLETELY and replace it with a robotic one. That way, you can keep them under your complete control, they feel obliged to help you, no matter what, and they are still smart. Also, the SDP is tempting. Any place for a Surrealonomist? |
Muckraker  Posts: 300 Joined: 22 Jul 2008 | Hey Rain is that position as Chief Dentist still available? I'll take it as long as I can be referred to as "Sir Grand High Dentist Boss-Man" if thats not too much to ask. A plaque would also be nice *insert winning smile here*. And hey, remember, a qualified dentist in your party is sure to garner support with marginal voters with tooth problems. (Just try not to remember that I am NOT a qualified dentist.) |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 3364 Joined: 2 Dec 2007 |
Done and done. Here's your hammer, certificate and your licence to kill. Enjoy yourself. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2212 Joined: 24 Apr 2008 | What happened? i go on a brief break and all of a sudden people are saying i've gone insane? I just can't keep up with things it seems, and now a video? This election is getting to be a chore... But i must continue! UNITY '08, all the work is getting done by the one guy! how unified can this be? this is why free will is for idiots, join me and never think again! |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 2212 Joined: 24 Apr 2008 |
I was hoping my little 'rosebud' might go unnoticed, i even have the poster with my big sepia head and name slapped up under construction. It would seem, like Kane, my finest moment has been cut short by personal demons and an opposition who is slightly less evil than me but still evil enough to wound me fatally... however, i suppose i can pinpoint the moment of my doom well enough... Right... *sob*... when i was asked to stop using capitals... I ceased truly to be THE ULTRA JOE then, i lost sight of what i wanted... Not to unify, not to dominate... But to rule... Im going to go ahead and drop out of the race, my attempt to join in the fun of the 'fantasy rule' (seriously, being the hard-ass stopped being fun around page 5) pretty much killed off any credibility i had built up (quite a stash if i may say so) and here in ULTRALAND i cant keep up with this thread, its moving to fast and a good deal of my opposition are in other time-zones. People will say i am defeated, and they are right, circumstance and other demands have made a twisted campaign more introverted and after this reputation i've gained as the guy to hate i don't think there's any coming back from this brink. In short, i know how to cut my losses. If anyone wants some ULTRA support i can drop in occasionally for the first candidate to PM me with a request. And not as some UNITY spouting fanatic either, you get THE ULTRA JOE, free of some camping message or political agenda. Pure unadulterated JOE, with Doom List in hand and Helmet on Head. Goodbye election dreams, although i suppose you were dead from the second the CAPS did cease... |
Muckraker Posts: 300 Joined: 22 Jul 2008 | Sweet! Anyone up for free dental care? *swings dented, chipped, bloodstained hammer by the cord that attaches it to his wrist* Please form a queue people! Ooooh so many jaws and such little time. PurpleRain's Purple Reign provides, join up and not just your difficult teeth will be fixed BUT studies show you will also show that 98% slaves who work for a brutal leader with a colour in their name enjoy much more affectionate and caring labour camps, than those that don't. *Points at Mobius* The other 2% are mauled horribly by bears. Vote PurpleRain for a Better Reign! |
Pulitzer Laureate Posts: 723 Joined: 22 Mar 2008 | In order to spread the word of EVIL, I have made another poster... Enjoy... Or I shall incinerate you!!! Mwuahahahahaha
|
Press Junketeer Posts: 394 Joined: 22 Apr 2008 | BREAKING NEWS! Ladies and gentlemen, here at Zemalac International we have just received word that within the last eight posts not one, not two, but three candidates have left the race! First of all we'd like to give a round of farewell applause to the Logician and HSIAMetalKing, two candidates who stopped posting a while ago but were technically still in the race. For their failure to complete the first challenge, both were removed from this election. However, the most monumental change has been the leaving of the ULTRAJOE, the forerunner in this year's election! Despite his Palpatine-esque First Escapist Regime he was still in the lead in the polls when the stresses of the campaign became too much for him. As the candidate who was most present in this election, and when he was not present who was continuously supported by an army of party members, the lack of ULTRAJOE will affect the rest of the campaign season dramatically. How so remains to be seen. When he stepped down ULTRAJOE commanded a following of eleven party members, beating Purple Rain by four and Mobius by six. Those eleven party members are, presumably, up for grabs. Or perhaps they'll just keep on trying to elect ULTRAJOE against his wishes, which would be really entertaining. Not that this independent news source is suggesting anything. This has been a Zemalac International News Report, your only source of news on this election. Besides actually reading through all the posts, that is. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1398 Joined: 27 Apr 2008  | Damn, with ULTRAJOE dropping out that so ends my COFFEE AND DONUT gag. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 2212 Joined: 24 Apr 2008 | User was banned at his own request. -mod Wow, i was leading? Well, that does come as a surprise, but unfortunately makes no difference, outside commitments do take precedence over this particular game. Other RP's i will continue to post in as time allows. I do apologize ULTRA PARTY, but things here in ULTRALAND are... desperate to say the least. |
Press Junketeer Posts: 394 Joined: 22 Apr 2008 | Aye, you were leading in post-count (both your own posts and that of your party) and in size of party. Zemalac International has the statistics. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 2212 Joined: 24 Apr 2008 |
Wow, your really devoted to this, if you were running you would get my vote. I feel i owe an explanation for my withdrawal and soon-to-be sudden disappearance... Things here in ULTRALAND between THE ULTRA JOE and one or more ULTRA PEOPLE are a little stressed, and THE ULTRA JOE feels perhaps he needs to devote some time to the issue. So in any case, many apologies. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1308 Joined: 29 Dec 2007 | People of the Escapist, look and behold at how the free-market spirit of competition has brought down the would be king! It is through our combined and competitive efforts, that we were able to make this serious business and thus bring down not one but three candidates! In other news, I'm pleased to announce that I have no intention of lobotomizing henchmen, while clearly a heinous violation of what scant rights you'll have under my regime, I also cannot allow it from a practical standpoint. When the middle echelons of the corporate world see their underlings are suffering, then they start to bitch and moan to the upper echelons about it in a greedy attempt to get more funding and trophy wives. I shall put an end to this practice by simply keeping the lower castes under my thumb with privatized education. Only those deemed talented enough will know whether or not to stick their fingers in the machines that will help us produce an abundance of high-quality, low-cost goods via the golden path of capitalism! Vote John Galt, Vote for not feeling sorry for the poor! |
Infamous Scribbler  Posts: 642 Joined: 23 Jan 2008 | We understand, JOE. Though you could've probably just left the campaign to be run by your followers and still have a shot at winning. A big one. That being said, I hope those of you who are still unsure, and have become so due to this dropping out, will find it in their reasoning to join the SDP. I know your inner voice tells you the great Darth Mobius is the only worthy leader of such responsibility, and such prestige of leading the Escapist into a new era, a new dawn for effectiveness and the assigning of every sentient being to a task that suits them. All will be of proper use to all. Oblige to no waste of human, or other, resources! Vote SDP! |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1604 Joined: 13 Dec 2007 | THE ULTRA PARTY still exists without Ultrajoe, but I need to know how many people are staying on board, and who's joining another party. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 3356 Joined: 26 Feb 2008 | Yes, who will rally to a GLORIOUS pool party with beer and cookies at my victory celebration, and who will toil unendingly in the Labor Camps under Purple's Reign? |
Infamous Scribbler  Posts: 687 Joined: 24 Jun 2008   | do i get the pool party? |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1308 Joined: 29 Dec 2007 |
You're the head of a political party and all you can afford is beer and cookies? Come on, real politicians hold triumphal parades where party members are carried on litters hoisted by the men bankrupted by said politician's corporation whilst being tended to with beer and cookies by the slaves' wives. Goodness, despots these days just don't know how to party. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 3356 Joined: 26 Feb 2008 | Um, the pool party is year round with an open bar... And as I said, everyone who votes for me gets a Supercar of their choice. Plus Party Members in good standing have a 401K, does John Galt's political and Economic domination guarantee your future? Quite the opposite... |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1398 Joined: 27 Apr 2008 |
Well I'm trying to join Rain's Reign as his Chief Officer of Cover-Ups not Necessarily UnIncluding Nobby-kneed Ubiquitous Transvestites and Rains Extra-Marital Affairs he still hasn't responded so I'm just waiting. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1308 Joined: 29 Dec 2007 |
Helloooo? Have we ever heard of cronyism? Of course economic domination guarantees your 401k. How the hell you gonna provide for your followers? Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good stock broker at your side, kid. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 3356 Joined: 26 Feb 2008 | I have an ENTIRE EMPIRE of stock-brokers. Who do you think invests my 401K. Each Super Star Destroyer is crewed by over 1 MILLION people. How do you think I protect that much in liquid assets? E-trade? No, I have my own financial empire, backed up by this elections largest standing military... |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1308 Joined: 29 Dec 2007 | However, your imperialist rule has stagnated your economy. Should you let the men of the mind, my followers, we shall pull you from this self-imposed rut. There are only a scant amount of new planets left for you to capture, your economy, so focused on militaristic expansion, will be brought down as the amount of government effort being pumped into the system plummets. Relinquish your iron-fisted control over your economy, allow the invisible hand(da force) to guide you on the path to wealth. The force must be balanced for life to prosper, controlling it will simply lead to your eventual ruin. Your self-interest must be rational and not governed by greed and emotions. Vote John Galt, Vote for the man who mixes the Will To Power with Jedi Teachings! *Renames party to the Jedi Conservative Party* |
To ALL Sith Democratic Party members, I am currently working on creating my NEW Election video. If you would like to appear in it, please send me a picture of yourself (or an Avatar of yourself) and I will include it in my video. All Sith Democratic Party Members will have a chance to Pre-Screen my campaign video once it is finished...