you get a coconut hat!

I put in pure citrus!

A can of Sprite is expelled at high velocity and lodges in your spleen.

I put in a Mr Kipling's Cherry Bakewell

You get a mental image of an old granny smiling and baking.

I put in a severed finger.

You get chilli con carne.

I put in the USS Enterprise.

you get an imperial star destroyer (far superior)

I put in my soul

thats impossible, you don't have a soul, but if you did, you'd get a blues cd shot at you which get stuck in your ear..

I put in a lamp! of epic proportions!

You are rewarded with some Sunshades (of 1337ness).

I put in the book DIY:SOS

You get three cubic centimeters of Wensleydale cheese, and a reference to a TV show everyone used to love.

I put in a gallon of human waste.

You get an ironic meter stick shot at you at a speed of 10,000 miles per hour

I put in a sandwhich, in hopes of getting a less mundane lunch.

You get a punch in the face from the disembodied arm of Abraham Lincoln.

I put in a copy of Watchmen.

You recieve bacon.

I put in a dictionary, turned to the page with the word "Hork" on it. (C'mon 20!)

You get a nice warm cup of...oh now I just don't fee like saying it.

I put in some pocket lint and a thumb tack.

You step on some pocket lint, then you put your hands in your pocket and clamp down on a pin.

I put in a coin from every nation on Earth.

You get every nation on Earth, at once, including the people

EDIT: Scratch that, i'm putting in my nice warm cup of "I-just-don't-feel-like-saying-it" (20! PLE~ASE!)

You get 3rd degree burn and a pethora of nick from ceramic shrapnal

I place in a gumball rapped in eleven rolls of gift rap

You get a small ball of gift wrap with a gumball coating.

I put in the ULTRAJOE. That is if he stays still long enough...

The vending machine game?

You (skipping right on by 42manZ) a shuddering vending machine, which promptly falls on you, and dispenses a Mexican jumping bean in a pool of coffee and your blood,

I put in all the people who forget (or just refuse) to put stuff in the machine, just so they can be included.

The machine gobbles them all up and gives you a big hug, as well as several hundred various coins.

I insert a small, sealed package into the vending machine that probably isn't explosive (the package, not the machine).

Then you get a sealed machine inside a package that probably explosive, and it explodes.... covering you in cranberry juice!

I put in the every-other-post-breadgolem, and leaves.

You get a beard golem.

I put in a drunk man lying on his side, covered in strawberry jam.

You get a piece of paper with a question mark written on it. On closer inspection you see it is not ink, but vomit it is written with.

I put in a thermos full of nitroglycerin. Very carefully.

The machine shoots the thermos back at you. It now has a small puppy inside.

I put in a cardboard box.

With a *boink*, you are transmogrified into a tiger.

I put in a snowman.

You get a puddle of water with 2 pieces of charcoal and a carrot.

I put in Spore.

You get a phallusaurus.

I put in the theme from 'Ghostbusters'.

You get the Gravity Gun and the Portal Gun, but you can only keep one.

I put in a QWERTZ keyboard.

you get a large mackerel, soaked in bleach, then rolled in antioxidants

I put in just that! (see above)

you get fish sticks

I put in the movie "groundhog day"

You get fish sticks.

I put in HAL 9000.

I'm afraid you can't do that Dave...

Now the vending machine is a self-aware intelligent and occasionally homicidal one. Nice going.
You get murdered by it.

I put in a Holy Hand Grenade

You get attacked by a killer rabbit.

I put in the gift of a smile.

You get botox

I put in a bag full of wet kittens

you get a bag of Korean food, and a glass of water.

I put in marshmallows and health food.

You get Sugar-coated wheatgrass biscuits.

I put in a bottle of wine.