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Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1718 Joined: 13 Sep 2007     | |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 3975 Joined: 24 Apr 2008     |
No, but close. See 'Ultrajoe's Law' (if you don't know where to find it, then you are an idiot!) Escalation can lead to stand-offs where neither side is willing to budge, or can be disruptive. But bigger IS better. EDIT: Nice, Easykill, very nice... Well... i guess i need to start actually fighting right? Your move, pawns. |
Pulitzer Laureate  Posts: 782 Joined: 1 Jun 2008     |
Hmmmm ...
I don't know. I summoned a hitherto non-existant force of nature to fight on my behalf on the physical plane. I've been brushing off parayzing injuries and agrravating my own wounds by continuing to fight. But it is all in a different dimension completely isolated from the story so... I guess I'm following the law. Right? |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 3975 Joined: 24 Apr 2008 |
Was what you did expected? You need to push the limits of what can be. And the 'in another dimension' thing is cliche. Think particle effects and epic description, but make sure it boils down to 'I attack you, what do you do?' So yes, you have the basics, you just need to make it bigger than all expectations. Man, do i sound like an arrogant git preaching this shit. Do what you want, i merely advise |
Pulitzer Laureate Posts: 782 Joined: 1 Jun 2008 |
Bigger than all expectations? ... I'll see what I can do. And don't worry about coming off as preachy man. Good advice is valuable. And I just got a bunch for free! HA! You been robbed, BITC-I mean ULTRAJOE! Totally ... ULTRAJOE. Not the other thing! ... Please don't kill me. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1130 Joined: 7 Mar 2008    | The Logician was very dissapointed in Rex. He thought he had tought him that becoming an idea was a lethal process; due to Rex being badly hurt in the first place, it would only last about five minutes. Hovever; pure idealism was one of the few things that could kill The Logician. And five minutes was more than enough time for that. The Logician snapped his fingers. The DRAGONZORD MEGAZORD appeared, ready to fight... ...and, being as it was essentially a giant lightning rod, was hit by several bolts of lightning, and exploded. If the situation was any less serious, The Logician would have laughed. That's something else Khedive Rex never understood; laughter is the most powerful weapon. If you can just laugh at a person and walk away from their fight, they might learn that fighting is wrong. If you can laught at a person while fighting them, it hurts them, because it insinuates that you're not taking them seriously; this causes them to do stupid things, which, if you can keep your own cool, gives you the upper hand. Instead, The Logician said, "Well...that's unfortunate..." If Rex was going all out, The Logician was gonna have to go all out, too. Summoning as much power to him as the universe could fathom, he (Advanced Logic Technique no. 3, not used intentionally) was lifted off the ground, his arms spread, his head facing the sky, until to eye level with DETERMINATION. (Advanced Logic Technique no. 2 and 14, again, not used intentionally, but as an outlet for the massive amount of power that is being radiated out of me) the stormy skies part, the ocean ceases to tremble, and even the hurricane-force wind become little more than a breeze. The Logician, the power of Logic raidating out of him, makes the most chaotic relm in existence, the place where all things meet, serene, if only for a moment. Then his eyes open. Chaos reigns again, as the true fury of The Logician is beheld. He utters the ancient chant, the words forbidden in any other circumstance but this, not only as a testament to his power, but to evoke the full power of them. His voice rises above the rain, above the chaos, above everything in this realm where everything meets, declairing his intention to any who would have ears to listen. He cried, "MY MIND IS NOT SOMETHING A BEING LIKE YOU CAN COMPREHEND. IT IS AS THE UNIVERSE ITSELF: A SEEMINGLY ENDLESS PATTERN, A NEVERENDING RHYME, BEAUTIFUL AND TERRIBLE TO BEHOLD. I AM THE EMBODIMENT OF ALL THAT FOLLOWS THAT PATTERN; I AM THE EMBODIMENT OF NOT ONLY THIS UNIVERSE, BUT EVERY UNIVERSE THAT THERE HAS BEEN AND WILL BE! I DON'T JUST HEAR THE RHYME; I AM THE RHYME, AND THE RHYME GIVES ME THE KNOWLEDGE TO DEFEAT YOU! I ACTIVATE THE FIRST OF THE ANCIENT FORBIDDEN LOGIC TECHNIQUES; THE POWER TO UNDERSTAND THE RHYME IN ITS ENTIRETY, TO UNDERSTAND THE WORKINGS OF ALL THINGS; I ACTIVATE THE POWER OF AWESOME LOGIC!" The very ground shook with the force of these last words, as though the elements themselves were afraid of this power; as they should be. With this, The Logician understood everything, knew everything; he understood why rubber bounces, and knew who the second gunman on the grassy knoll was. Both these things were trite, however, and they were not what he was looking for. He had found what he was looking for, and he smiled. As The Logician spoke, the very elements themselves quieted in order to hear what he had to say. He spoke calmly, quietly, and with an authority that trancended anything that Khedive Rex had heared. "Do you know when determination fails, Rex? When it's the only thing drivng you. Determination is powerful, but only when coupled with something else. What are you determined to do? Something? Anything? No. You are determination, and you are destined to fail, becasue that's all that you are." "YOU'RE WRONG!" Khedive screamed. "DETERMINATION BEATS EVERYTHING! EVEN LOGIC!" "Logic isn't even in the same category as Determination; that's like saying Ice Cream defeats wet." "YOU'RE WRONG! YOU'RE WRONG!" "Am I?" Khedive Rex charged at The Logician, determined to end this once and for all, when he hit the ground. The very earth had come to defend The Logician, creating a wall for him. The Sea came next, knocking him back with a wave packing enough force to shatter a building. Fire came next, but it was different; the flames of creatin themselves spouted Fire Elementals, hundred foot tall guardians, a dozen of them, surrounding The Logician. The Wind forced the mighty storm to rain hundreds of millions of gallons of water down solely on Rex. The Sun flared out, and the moon shine down; the two of them together formed a barrier around The Logician. "What will you do now, Rex? When the nexus of all existence defies you, what can and what will you do?" |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 3975 Joined: 24 Apr 2008 | The Ultra Joe Alighted On Top Of The Great Black Tower, Setting The Bound And Gagged Mobius Down He Contemplated His Options... 1) Draw His Sword And Get Ultra... "So Tell Me, TERP'ers, In The Face Of Ultra, What Power Do You Have That Can Possibly Challenge Me?" |
Pulitzer Laureate Posts: 782 Joined: 1 Jun 2008 | Rex bellowed his fury. Water kept him pinned to the ground, crushing his face into the icy gravel as the roaring continued beating into his head. Pushing deeper and deeper drowning his mind. Suddenly, a great calamity of silence slapped this chaotic world. The elements held their breath, shuddered, quivered. Something unseen in the history of reality was happening, now. Happening to them. DETERMINATION stood over Rex, hands half melted away positioned as if throttling an invisible enemy. DETERMINATION's massive bulk swayed forward and backward as a force more powerful than physical reality started fighting back. The rain stopped. And started. Stopped. And started. A scream that was felt with all senses rocked the core of reality and DETERMINATION yelled with malificent fury. "YOU. ARE. MINE." The unearthly wailing stopped, leaving a quiet as deep as a black hole. A flash of black light blinded Rex, freezing his eyes. When he could see again DETERMINATION held a blue black trident. It was massive, ornate, and it seemed to cry it's own sad melody. The rain had stopped. Rex was dry. The water had been beaten. DETERMINATION gave it form against it's will and once it was physical DETERMINATION mastered it. Weilding the element Water, DETERMINATION roared and ran at the sheild Logician hid behind. Every step shook the world. Every step frightened the Elements. Every step was destruction in it's purest and most definite form. Creation. The strength of DETERMINATION was awe inspiring. But he was not all knowing. He had forgotten the fire elementals. Coming closer with glowing eyes, holes into the fire of their souls, they readied to end Khedive Rex and DETERMINATION in one final blow before any irreversable damage was done. They walked with slow, floaty gaits. They burned the ground below them. They smelled of sulfur. They were near. Rex stood in one motion and plunged his broken arm into the chest of the fire elemental. Both creatures shouted as pain beyond the bounds of perception sliced through their existence. "If he can do it." Rex coughed through gritted teeth and molten fury, "SO CAN I!" Rex pulled his arm from the core of the beast and wathced it blow away, mere ashes in the wind. His arm was a charcoal stick sewn to his burnt shoulder. The flesh was gone. The bone was black. But the hand held the still beating heart of the fire elemental. Taking the firey golden sphere with his good hand he smiled greedily at his newest trophy. Rex crushed the heart in his fist and took a new form. Rex held a glimmering golden dagger. The other fire elementals stood at attention, watching Rex carefully. What would he do with this prize? Rex's first victim to experience the burn of his weapon would be the amr that had failed him. Cutting the shriveled bone from his shoulder, the one-armed Rex turned to the Elementals. "Whose next?" Rex charged the army of fire as DETERMINATION hurled his trident at the wall protecting Logician with all the power of Water and Determination. The element itself flew toward the Moon beams and sunflares protecting its inevitable target. The wailing trident peirced the wall with an explosion of freezing black light. There was no sound. There was nothing. And then the light faded. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2501 Joined: 3 Mar 2008   | Lord Krunk, now aboard The Eccentric Ventriloquist somehow, smiled at Ultrajoe's question. "Why, the power of Surrealonomy, of course!" And he he set his anomalic cannons to full power, and fired them at Ultrajoe. "LAUGH THIS ONE OFF!" |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 3975 Joined: 24 Apr 2008 | "Dont Tempt Me" Laughed The Ultra Joe Diving From The Tower He Dug In His Sword To Its Side And Slowed Amid A Cascade Of Sparks And Tortured Stone. "Blast!" Shouted The Ultra Joe, As He Fell. He Hit The Ground And Pushed Downwards, Rippled Spreading Across The World... "What Goes Down" The Ripples Crossed The Globe, Spiking At The Other Side And Continuing Back Around "Can Come Back Up!" The Ripples Focused And Joe Was Thrown Upwards From The Superposition Of The Waves, Past Cloud And Storm, To Smash Into The Eccentric Ventriloquist And Blast His Way Inside. "Lets Dance!" |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 2501 Joined: 3 Mar 2008 | Lord Krunk laughed as he saw Ultrajoe breach his ship. He knew that Ultrajoe was powerful, powerful beyond recognition, and his army of ratslaves were killed by Shanks. But he had one more trick up his sleeve. And with that, he hit the large red button in the centre of his ship's console, and the ship jumped sideways through the dimensions, directly towards The Void. "If I can't beat you, I'll just put you where you can't harm anyone!" |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 3975 Joined: 24 Apr 2008 |
"There Are Very Few Places Where I Cant Find A Way To Harm Someone" The Ultra Joe Smashed His Way Through The Bowels Of The Ship Towards The Bridge, Cleaving Aside Crewman As He Went. "You Made A Bad Move, Krunk, As A Boss I Get To Kill A Few TERPS's... And If I Can, Im Making You One Of Them!" He Lept, Metal Dissolving I Front Of Him And His Sword Flashing In A Wide Arc Of Death As He Arrived Dramatically On The Bridge. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 2501 Joined: 3 Mar 2008 | Lord Krunk, upon arriving at the Void, smiled as he turned around, his remote in hand. "Ah, Ultrajoe, always one step behind. You see, my finger is on top of the self-destruct button!" Ultrajoe stood there, not saying a word. Lord Krunk decided to continue his monologue. "Take a step further, and I hit the button. You might survive the explosion, but this ship is the only way you can travel back!" He smiled, his death standing before him. But, he had defeated the one person standing between the TERP and El Presidente. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1130 Joined: 7 Mar 2008 | His shield had almost been broken. The Logician knew they had meant well, but The Sun and The Moon were not all knowing, and often underestimated what humans were capable of. The Logician had been able to save them, though, and add his power to theirs... The Weeping Trident was loged at the ground at The Logician's feet. Its power was great; all life, at the end of the day, came from the sea. But not even the sea could match two elements. In The Logician's hand was a light longsword; golden-orange on one side, and silvery-purple on the other, on the pommel an image of The Sun and The Moon as close as lovers. The power of both Day and Night, The Twilight Blade, lie in the sure right hand of The Logician. The Logician grabbed The Weeping Trident. He held it in his left hand for a moment. The Logician, unlike Khedive, understood the weeping of The Trident. I'm sorry, it had said. I am so sorry. I only wanted to help. It's alright, The Logician sung. I understand. There is no need to blame yourself. I have to, Logician, The Trident of Water sung. I have to... The Logician only nodded. I will make it quick Thank you The Logician threw The Weeping Trident to DETERMINATION'S feet. "Pick it up." The other elements, knowing the battle, sung to The Logician. Let me be your shield said The Earth. Let me be your cloak said The Wind. Let me be your helm said The Thunder Let me be your breastplate said The Fire. But The Logician turned them all away. If they could be used to aid him, they could be used against him, and he would not let them feel that pain. The betrail of The Water had shaken The Logician and the death of the fire elemental had filled him with fury. He wanted blood. He wanted the both of them dead. "PICK IT UP!" The Logician screamed. He was done with calm. He was done with jolly. He would shatter DETERMINATION, and then he would turn his unbridled fury towards Khedive Rex. A new voice spoke now, one that had never spoken to The Logician before. Logician, let me aid you, in any way you see fit. I will not turn against you. The Logician nodded. As you wish... The Logician was illuminated with blinding light, a light not even the elements could withstand; all turned their sight away from him for a moment. When eyes, mortal or no, were fit to look upon The Logician again, they were humbled, all of them. Gone were his flowing onyx robes, a symbol of wisdom; in their place was beautiful maroon armor, the color of the sun at dawn, detaled in gold and silver, covering his body from his toes to his neck. A golden-yellow cape hung from his shoulders. A gold circlet, embedded with a ruby at the forehead, graced The Logcician's brow. Honor is the highest ideal a man can have; it is the ideal that he can be better than who he is now It was Honor that had spoken to The Logician, and now graced him with his presence. DETERMINATION picked up The Weeping Trident, unfettered. It knew nothing of this 'Honor'; it would make quick work of it. DETERMINATION charged at The Logician; the fire elementals did nothing to stop it; they had no need. They turned their attention, instead, towards the near-incapacitated Khedive Rex, to draw him away from The Logician's battle. They marched towards their deaths. The Logician would not let that be in vain. The Logician spun The Twilight Blade in a wide arc, and met The Weeping Trident and DETERMINATION in kind; the force of the blow threw DETERMINATION into the air with the force of a meteor, and into a pool of magma. DETERMINATION emerged with a roar, charging again. The Logician was ready. He lept at DETERMINATION, intending to impale DETERMINATION on it's point. DETERMINATION met the The Twilight Blade, though, with The Weeping Trident. The Logician was barely able to pull back enough not to shatter her. DETERMINATION, seeing The Logician's unwillingness to harm the trident, used it against him with that much more vigor. Blows met again and again. Each shook the core of The Nexus. With each blow, more dark blood ran from the cracks in The Weeping Trident. With each blow, The Logician held back more. Such swordplay as this was nothing for The Logician, but if The Weeping Trident was broken, the element of water would be gone from the world forever; The Balance would be shattered, and all the worlds would die. The Logician could not let that happen. The Weeping Trident screamed with each blow. The Logician did not want to imagine the pain she was in. He had only one choice. The Logician used the greatest weapon he had. He laughed. DETERMANATION, infuriated, thrust The Weeping Spear towards The Logician with all his strength. Exactly as The Logician had planned. The Logician jumped into the air, avoiding the blow, and placed his hand on DETERMINAION's forehead. (Advanced Logic Technique no. 6) "If your determination is water," The Logician said. "Your only choice is to melt." DETERMINATION stopped. It understood the logic of The Logician's words. It's battle was over. DETERMINATION began to ripple, then shudder, then fell to the ground in a wave. He was gone. The Water was a slave no more. She returned to her place amongst The Elements, singing happily as she went. Thank you, Logician... she sung. The Logician wished he could smile. Oh, how he wished. But he could not. Not as long as Khedive was still in this place. There would be time for smiles when this was over. The Logician turned his blade to Khedive Rex. His voice shook the very foundations of all existence. The nexus itself quaked in fear, for not even it was sure that it could withstand such a force. "Your move, Khedive." |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1718 Joined: 13 Sep 2007 | OOC: The epic... It burns... |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1130 Joined: 7 Mar 2008 |
OOC: Yeah, I think it's fair to say that I've redeemed myself. Unless you're bluffing. In which case I'll misquote you on the "Escapist Motto" thread. Just fair warining... |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1718 Joined: 13 Sep 2007 | OOC: Dude, where the hell is everyone, this thread is just getting epic, now is no time to let it die. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1099 Joined: 21 May 2008  | OOC: Well we have to try to out-epic Ultra so it takes time to think of what to do. IC: "Heh, there must be some new management" he said with a smirk |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 3975 Joined: 24 Apr 2008 |
I know how to die like a villain, trust me. And its impossible to Out-Epic me, don't even try. "Krunk?" Said The Ultra Joe Krunk Was Confused... How Had Ultra Joe Got The President On Board? It Was As I- "Yoink" Said The Ultra Joe, As He Blasted Off In An Escape Pod, Leaving Behind The Crewman He Had Tied Up To Look Like Mobius. The Ultra Joe Flew Through Space Like A Bat Out Of Hell, Ducking And Weaving Past Fire From Krunks Ship, Even As The Self Destruct He Had Hit On The Way Out Began To Act, Blowing Out The Sides Of The Ship As Krunk's Personal Fighter Roared From The Fighter Bay. ---- The Following Epic Tale Will Be Told From Krunk's Point Of View So That We Dont Have Ultra-Caps All Over The Place ---- Ultrajoe's pod moved like a cow through the heavens, whereas Krunks fighter was a wolf. Or a shark. Or a wolf-shark piloting a sleek engine of destruction towards a pod moving like a cow. Yeah, awesome. Krunk had superior firepower, superior maneuvering and superior speed... But Ultrajoe had epic, he piloted the pod like a master and ducked and weaved around the fighter avoiding its plasma bolts and screaming missiles. Krunk swore, how was a pod doing all that!? But the pod was changing, spells old as time warping it into a fighter the equal of Krunks from the unsigtly lump it once was. If Krunks fighter was a wolf-shark, the one summoned by The Ultra Joe was a Bear-tank, cumbersome but deadly, fast but uncontrolled. They danced in the void, against a backdrop of the exploding ship, The monster and the angel. Which was which was irrelevant, Krunk had to stop him from reaching the planet again. Joe had to survive. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 4410 Joined: 14 Jun 2008   | Sarge is playing with his rifle apon his throne, when a litteral ghost from the past emerges at his gates, he raises to his feet and walks down the crimson stepps that he demanded for his throne "Ah, Lieutenant sin... what brings you to vahalla on such a... mundane... day of lording?" his minions all shot their heads up, all of them were considered to be the mightiest of warriors, yet Their master had never taken a friendly tone with them, the thought of a second lord maede each warrior minion shudder with fear |
Pulitzer Laureate Posts: 782 Joined: 1 Jun 2008 | |
Easykill, who had been forced to evacuate the ship with his loyal Strawberry immediately on arrival, sighed. "Ultrajoe, you have just proved it. Your heart is fickle, your cause wavers, you are not a man fit to reign in our mighty Forumdom of Escapia. I am an Anarchist at heart, but there is a lesson you must learn. It is because I respect you that I will fight with these TERPers against you. We will defeat you with the same principles you threw away in your search for power. We will defeat you with UNITY, as brothers in our cause." Easykill sat a little straighter in strawberry's saddle, smiled with a hint of nostalgia, and he charged his wooden foe, screaming his loyalty to the Escapist of old, he yelled "Anarchist, you have my anarchy!"
Summoning his entire cliffracer army, Easykill rushed in towards the ship, wondering at the sheer size and battle potential of it. Anything those wings came in contact with would burn to ash long before it could ever reach the ship, and the only spot which those mighty wings would not reach, was the deck itself. Easykill saw only one way to bring this beast down. He didn't like it, but it had to be done, he could not allow the Terpers to fall before they even got to the main boss. Decided, Easykill orders his cliffracers to keep the wings occupied while he slips onto the boat.
He winces as he sees his great soldiers fall for the sake of their master. He leans forward as he watches the boat get closer as if that would somehow make him arrive quicker and waits. Time slows to a trickle, he sees all around him the charred corpses of cliffracers falling but he continues to block them out, focusing only on the deck of the Asskickery, where the wings could not reach, the weakness, his salvation. A few more seconds... Closer... Closer... THERE!
Easykill leaps from the back of his noble Strawberry, catches the banister, and pulls himself up onto the deck of the Asskickery. As he sounds he whistle for retreat, the ship finally notices him and attempts to dislodge him by doing a barrel roll, but it is too late. Easykill runs below decks, and for a moment, there is silence as the Terpers watch in awe and the ship shakes helplessly. And then, with the force of a thousand meteors coming down on it, the ship explodes into a hurricane of energy, and it is torn to shreds, the high wailing of the possessed ship audible over even the thunder.
Ultrajoe watched, stunned. Who knew Easykill held such power? Was it truly that bad a misnomer? But then he began to laugh, it was clear he had done himself in- No one could survive such a storm! "Thats A Neat Little Trick! But There's No Honor In Sacrifice, Even Your Precious UNITY Fails When You Fall For Others... UNITY Is For The Weak!" Nearly content with his villain's monologue towards the man who probably couldn't hear him anyways, Ultrajoe finished with a quick cackling laugh and turned to the TERPers, "Prepare To Die, Me And Mobius Have Business To Conduct For Which You Are Not Requi-"
But Ultrajoe could not finish his sentence, as a large, bloodied cliffracer had attacked him, cawing with anger and grief. Ultrajoe jumped out of the way, rather annoyed; "A Survivor? Quaint, But This Is Not Morrowind And You Hold No Fear For Me Now, Goodbye" Ultrajoe held out his pinky and charged the end with pure element of Ultra, intending to make an example of this weakling. BUT! Just as Ultrajoe was going for the kill, his eyes suddenly widen under his helmet and he jumps out of the way as Manarchist crashed into the spot he used to be. "Don't. Hurt. Strawberry!", Manarchist growls impressively.
Ultrajoe, at this point too annoyed by the constant interruptions to be surprised at Easykill's living, said tersely "Alive? Then Let Us Put That UNITY To The Test Against Its Old Master" Jumping away, Ultrajoe yells. "I Abandoned Unity And Your Brotherhood For Good Reason... Come Now, Fight Me And Die So You May Learn What Power It Has Granted Me! You Will Not Stop Me, I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!"
OOC: Thanks to Ultrajoe for providing his dialogue.