Zero Punctuation: Heavenly Sword and Other Stuff

Yahtzee Croshaw, in his debut video review for The Escapist, skewers Heavenly Sword, the Resident Evil 5 trailer, and more.

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Made of win and brilliance. This is by far the best comedy videogame video-review I have EVER seen. You put the AVGN and his imitators to shame.

Huzzah!

I love the visual jokes alongside the verbal ones!

I intend to nominate Yahtzee's bottle of cough syrup for an Oscar. Or Emmy. Or whatever ... a husky voice is like +3 to sexy. Not that I'm interested in him in that way or anything, but ... OK, time to go now.

I'm not seeing the article, here, just a description of it and a link to his site. Does this mean I've been judged and found unworthy?

Edit: oh, I see, it's video and I have to disable NoScript. Silly me.

Bongo Bill:
Edit: oh, I see, it's video and I have to disable NoScript. Silly me.

That will also help us score ad impressions and thereby pay our bills and eat and stuff. So I'd kind of encourage you to do that anyway. But yes, it's a video and requires flash and scripts to be enabled. Content can be a harsh mistress.

Well, if it's for The Escapist....

I'm sorry, I'd really love to comment, but I have to fall down on the floor and laugh until I go into some kind of respiratory distress.

Wait. I'm going to watch it again first. Twing Twang!

You are a legend in your own lifetime Yahtzee, simple as that.

I look forward to next wednesday

The thing I most love about this entry, apart from all the things I picked up already from his brilliant Youtube stuff, was the slap to the face it delivers to absolutely every prentious gimp, on both sides, who I have seen post on the RE5 Racism front.
He seems to have summed up the view that I share pretty neatly.
(And by calling both sides of this debate "pretentious gimps," please feel free to understand that I have not seen every single piece posted on this issue, rather loads of ones that have grains of truth in but miss how what they've spotted fits into the whole thing.)

I watched it twice and laughed a lot and now I think I hurt myself. :(

Now do Warrior Within! Or can you only review what they tell you to? Man, you fucking sellout.

(buy me an Xbox)

Corridor:
Man, you fucking sellout.

(buy me an Xbox)

Yes. Feel the dark side flow through you.

I never knew (H)evenly Sword(s) was so sexual, great job on completely changing the entire feel of the game once it actually comes out.

if i had a ps3, i would buy hevenly sword[s] just to find out what twing twang is, lets just hope it is lesbian sex lol. as with resi, that was even funnier than the fact that they are xenophobic twats, thay even make gays look straight lol.

mazzaism:
if i had a ps3, i would buy hevenly sword[s] just to find out what twing twang is

If you happen to get one, and then the game, can you please let me know? It's starting to bother me that I don't know.

Andraste:

mazzaism:
if i had a ps3, i would buy hevenly sword[s] just to find out what twing twang is

If you happen to get one, and then the game, can you please let me know? It's starting to bother me that I don't know.

My household recently acquired one of those infernal machines. I am definitely going to have to investigate. Perhaps with the blinds closed.

Russ needs his alone time.

I love how many people here obviously registered purely to comment on this video. Ego swelling much?

I do not like your embedded video player. It locked me to one tab using Firefox 2.0.0.6

Love the article... yeah I registered just to comment. So what, it got me here and I'm staying!!

;)

Corridor:
I love how many people here obviously registered purely to comment on this video. Ego swelling much?

So says the guy with TWO POSTS.

Yeah, there's an ego problem here... I think it's you.

If we keep talking post count, I'll take the display away. That's right. I went there.

Also, I'll stop these forums and turn right around and take us all home if I have to.

Joe:
If we keep talking post count, I'll take the display away. That's right. I went there.

Also, I'll stop these forums and turn right around and take us all home if I have to.

You're such a twing twang, Joe.

I enjoy fried chicken.

Absolutely fantastic. I didn't expect to enjoy it that much before hand but it had me in stitches. Continue the good work!

Hilarious, thanks.

fuji8bit:
So says the guy with TWO POSTS.

Yeah, there's an ego problem here... I think it's you.

NO YOU

I think you misunderstand me. What I meant to imply was:

1) Yahtzee checks the posts to his video
2) Yahtzee sees that it's full of people who registered for the Escapist purely so they could comment on his video
3) Yahtzee is filled with a sense of self-validation and proceeds to prance around Brisbane hugging random passersby while shouting enthusiastic greetings to kittens and small children and Jolly Mr. Sun.
4) Yahtzee takes to wearing shiny bling and driving big red cars while snorting cocaine off naked supermodels.

Corridor:
3) Yahtzee is filled with a sense of self-validation and proceeds to prance around Brisbane hugging random passersby while shouting enthusiastic greetings to kittens and small children and Jolly Mr. Sun.

I don't believe YZ is the real hugging type.. I more picture him sitting in his recliner mouthing off to everyone telling them that he is kind of a big deal..

Corridor:
4) Yahtzee takes to wearing shiny bling and driving big red cars while snorting cocaine off naked supermodels.

That however wouldn't suprise me, well maybe minus the cocaine - there would probably be lots of naked super models.

Because nothing revs a supermodel's engine like references to Boris Vallejo and Freud. ;)

Cordelia, I get the strong impression that you're implying that the average supermodel wouldn't recognize or appreciate a Boris Vallejo or Freud reference! How insulting.

They might very well be intelligent girls. They're smart enough to take a free ride off of the lower-processing centers of the male brain.

Please, don't crush my dreams that out there, somewhere, is a woman who is both beautiful AND brilliant. They exist in books! And in movies! Inspiration had to come from somewhere!

I'll be interested to see if this guy can turn out the funny on a schedule now that he's on Escapist's bar tab.

Followed the link from Penny Arcade. Very funny stuff, Yahtzee. :D Now I just have to try to find the archives. ;)

Honestly, this was brilliant.

DeusExMathias:
Followed the link from Penny Arcade. Very funny stuff, Yahtzee. :D Now I just have to try to find the archives. ;)

There aren't any archives of Zero Punctuation here yet, as this is Yahtzee's first video for the Escapist.

However,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWS9_nrKOPA&
and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYQLR7dE5k4&

are his previous fantastic efforts - Enjoy them. now.

Also, check out http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/ for more rambling with less animation.

Okay, [/pimp]