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Zero Punctuation: Guitar Hero III

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Yahtzee Croshaw
Contributor
Posts: 108
Joined: 8 Aug 2007

Guitar Hero III

This week on Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee gaily shreds Guitar Hero III.

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asdaa
Paperboy
Posts: 12
Joined: 28 Nov 2007

I wanted rock band. :(

DoctorNick
Paperboy
Posts: 17
Joined: 31 Oct 2007

Gah, the guys at work are obsessed with this game. I wish they'd shut up about it already.

MrKeroChan
Beat Writer
Posts: 155
Joined: 3 Oct 2007

I like me some Guitar Hero too...I'm not proud of that...but is it's FUN...

Hypersapien
Paperboy
Posts: 31
Joined: 14 Nov 2007

Cool. I think we just found out what 'Twing Twang' is.

Yes, I am disappointed that it isn't cunnilingus.

pacee21
Anonymous Source
Posts: 6
Joined: 10 Oct 2007

fucking lol best one yet

rhizic
Paperboy
Posts: 36
Joined: 14 Nov 2007

am i the only person on the planet that think GH sucks? i mean come on, its on a super powerful computer and you get what a couple of dozen songs? all but four suck, and its completely repetative game play. could they not just bump it up? anyways amazing review [but isnt it always] the blue screen bit at the end was well good.

zerotrace
Paperboy
Posts: 15
Joined: 3 Oct 2007

"Don't tell me I suck because I four starred Free Bird on hard"

You suck.

I completed Guitar Hero 2 on the release date within 3 hours...Then again, I'm one of those freaks you described.

And Raining Blood is easy once you can sort the HOPOs out.

In short...If you think the last tier is hard...Try beating Lou on expert (comes down to luck really), and then, complete Through The Fire and Flames.

You think you have wankers cramp?: http://zerotrace.blogspot.com/2007/11/ah-fuck-wanking-cramp.html

And of course...My Guitar Hero 3 stat page: http://www.guitarhero.com/accounts/235525

Good review though, kept me laughing :D

Zera
Muckraker
Posts: 285
Joined: 12 Sep 2007

ah i must say its one of his better ones. love the whole im not gay thing too

bride_of_lister
Paperboy
Posts: 16
Joined: 12 Dec 2007

You keep telling yourself that Yahtzee... but you did make me stay up another hour because I knew that the new Zero Punctuation would be out. Feel free to gloat over your ability to keep a girl awake all night.

Joe
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 1124
Joined: 7 Jul 2006

rhizic:
am i the only person on the planet that think GH sucks?

Yes.

Zegjita
Anonymous Source
Posts: 1
Joined: 12 Dec 2007

This review was great. Out of all the things I was expecting him to pick on, I was not expecting guitar hero.

p0nda
Paperboy
Posts: 20
Joined: 25 Aug 2007

As there are 9 posts in the 12 minutes since ZP was released, it occurs to me that I am not the only one who opens the Escapist website at 8.55am and hits ctrl + F5 repeatedly until the review comes out. I take some comfort in that.

fsanch
Muckraker
Posts: 236
Joined: 6 Dec 2007

rhizic:
am i the only person on the planet that think GH sucks? i mean come on, its on a super powerful computer and you get what a couple of dozen songs? all but four suck, and its completely repetative game play. could they not just bump it up? anyways amazing review [but isnt it always] the blue screen bit at the end was well good.

Well, it's a rhythm game. The appeal has alway sbeen the ease by which you can get into it and the "party" feel.

It's true though - the people who are extremely good at it with ridiculous achievements on expert on "Through Fire and Flames" really are freaks, in the sense that they have obsessively been able to play the game that quickly or for that long. I've been tempted to get any one of the Guitar Hero series of games for a while, but when I think about what it takes to actually get good at it I think my game time is better spent elsewhere.

Review's pretty spot on - most glaring is the omission of the co-op quick play mode, something which Rock Band definitely has a leg up on.

Kermi
Press Junketeer
Posts: 355
Joined: 7 Nov 2007

It's fortunate that so few of my friends are gamers, because I'm shamelessly going to steal the razor wire self flossing remark from this video and use it as often as possible in my day to day conversations.
That said, I'd been holding off on Guitar Hero III because the difficulty issues were something early adopters of the game I know were bitching about from square one. I have half a dozen friends with this game on my Xbox Live friends list and only one of them accumulated more than a hundred achievement points before giving up and buying Mass Effect or slinking back into HHalo 3's matchmaking lobby. I know achievement points shouldn't be the deciding factor in picking up a game, but I feel somewhat vindicated in my decision to go straight to titles that are worth playing instead of spending a hundred and fifty bucks on the sequel to a game I only half completed in the first place, even if it does mean I miss the opportunity to mash buttons (hopefully) in tune with such songs as 'Knights of Cydonia' or 'Ever Fallen in Love?'.

cattypat
Paperboy
Posts: 27
Joined: 31 Oct 2007

Once again Yahtzee hits the nail right on with GH3.
I had the exact similar experiance with the final songs, you get the feeling they were designed for those GH freaks, whom really think their plastic guitar skills will magnetically pull girls and cause their eavesdropping postman to give them money for the performance.
Back to the topic, the animation has increased massivly which will make my many viewings all the more enjoyable. Definatly as good as the Bioshock review!

Zera
Muckraker
Posts: 285
Joined: 12 Sep 2007

Btw did anyone noticed this? when he showed a screenshot of Guitar Hero 3 in game, he pointed at the Gamespot logo at the bottom corner and called them jerks

Tumbler360
Paperboy
Posts: 30
Joined: 28 Nov 2007

Sweet!

Great roast, loved it.

Cock Slapping the Mona Lisa, that was very nice.

Keep up the good work!

fundude365
Paperboy
Posts: 35
Joined: 12 Dec 2007

Tom Morello is more of a legend of rock than anyone posting on this thread will ever be... especially Yahtzee! I've thoroughly enjoyed all of his reviews so far and it feels like one of my friends suddenly revealed that they in fact hated me the whole time and only kept up the masquerade to learn my deepest, darkest secrets then sell them to some online bastard comittee alond with a stamped, addressed jiffy bag so that they can let me have a hard copy of everything they think about me... In the harshest terms possible! Fuck you very much my friend! I'll probably keep watching because your scathing wit is about all that keeps me going in the minefield of Politically Correctness that currently infests life.

Exposed Lie
Paperboy
Posts: 20
Joined: 12 Dec 2007

i cant believe im the first to mention this (or at least i think i am) but...what the hell is wrong with learning to play a real guitar? :|

also

bride_of_lister:
You keep telling yourself that Yahtzee... but you did make me stay up another hour because I knew that the new Zero Punctuation would be out. Feel free to gloat over your ability to keep a girl awake all night.

haha, that made me laugh quite a bit :D

Grizzzzzzzz
Anonymous Source
Posts: 9
Joined: 21 Nov 2007

Sensing a slight bit of sexual frustration.

Full of laughs and chortles though chap, well done.

ShadokatRegn
Anonymous Source
Posts: 6
Joined: 6 Dec 2007

That review was so colorful and full of mental images I'm not sure I needed, but am grateful for none the less.

Abbadiel
Copy Clerk
Posts: 53
Joined: 15 Oct 2007

fundude365:
Tom Morello is more of a legend of rock than anyone posting on this thread will ever be... especially Yahtzee!

He just said Slash was more of a legend of rock than Tom Morello, which is the case, since Slash was with Guns n' Roses.

the_carrot
Beat Writer
Posts: 224
Joined: 8 Nov 2007

I'm not gay either.

Atwa
Anonymous Source
Posts: 5
Joined: 12 Dec 2007

4 5. Fuck you! Tom Morello is a fucking legend

Botond
Anonymous Source
Posts: 4
Joined: 28 Oct 2007

Indeed he is.

fundude365
Paperboy
Posts: 35
Joined: 12 Dec 2007

Abbadiel:

fundude365:
Tom Morello is more of a legend of rock than anyone posting on this thread will ever be... especially Yahtzee!

He just said Slash was more of a legend of rock than Tom Morello, which is the case, since Slash was with Guns n' Roses.

Nope... he said if "Tom Morello was a Legend of Rock then a Grilled Cheese Sandwich was Haut Cuisine". Everyone I've ever met, or am ever likely to meet, has at least some experience of Rage Against the Machine if only for 'Guerilla Radio' found on the Soundtrack for Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 and I think many of us can agree that it was the best song present there. In my opinion his 'Jam' song was the wrong option... 'Know Your Enemy' is a far more interesting experience than 'Bulls on Parade' for the guitarist.

Evilducks
Copy Clerk
Posts: 65
Joined: 20 Sep 2007

I was fairly decent at GH2. I made it all the way through expert, but only got 3's on the last set or two and never made it through Jordan on Expert. GH3 on hard reminds me of GH2 on expert, or at least the last few sets on expert. I did finally make it through Raining Blood and the Lou battle on hard and have made it up to that set on expert but really got sick of the stupid shit they pull to make the songs more complex. They add extra complexity to songs that aren't even that difficult to play in the first place just because they want to ramp up the challenge (Slipknot, I'm looking at you).

A positive for the game though is the vast number of master tracks instead of covers. If there was a master track available for a song they got it, and in a couple cases got the original band to re-record the song.

I actually prefer this set list more than the previous 2 (Rock of the 80's can burn in the fires of hell for all I care, I hate that version). The hammer ons and pull offs are much easier to accomplish, the guitar that comes with it is vastly superior to all its previous iterations and any new competitors. They took out some characters, Clive being one and my friend mourns the loss of Pandora as well. Really they should have gone the Rock Band route and let you make custom characters, its not all that complex and it isn't like the rest of the game is that complicated to make. Maybe just have some presets made so that you can create your favorite old GH characters if you wanted to.

I've played both GH3 and Rock Band a fair amount. If you don't have a group of friends and you only really want to play pretend guitar then GH3 is the game to play. The guitar work in Rock Band feels as stiff as the original GH did. However if you have a group of friends then Rock Band is where its at, the world tour mode is just a blast, creating your own rockers is great fun and wailing on that drum kit never gets old (assuming the equipment doesn't break in 2 days like it has been for 80% of the people who've dished out the $170 US for it.)

Rock on.

And yes rhizic, you are the only one who things GH sucks.

Dectilon
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 534
Joined: 20 Sep 2007

Guitar hero is a game I'd expect from PopCap if they had the energy to create a plastic guitar. It's fun, I mean really really fun, for a while and then it sort of drops off really really quickly once you start getting tired of it.

At least that's how it is for me ~~

Castar
Anonymous Source
Posts: 10
Joined: 12 Dec 2007

Cliffs of Dover! Man, if you could by any means rock more than you already did, you do so now. That song rocks so hard it's just impossible and the only other place I'd seen it before aside from my own personal music collection was nowhere. So ROCK POINTS FOR YAHTZEE!

Also your review was good.

samir_nayanajaad
Anonymous Source
Posts: 2
Joined: 28 Nov 2007

At fundude 365 you should watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoN6XfyQsr4

Shadow Link
Paperboy
Posts: 31
Joined: 22 Nov 2007

Lol, great review as always Yahtzee and of course your not gay xD

krysalist
News Room Contributor
Posts: 150
Joined: 22 Aug 2007

Who's Tom Morello? And what is a guitar?

Brodel2
Anonymous Source
Posts: 2
Joined: 12 Dec 2007

@am i the only person on the planet that think GH sucks?

No, not by a long shot. It's DDR for your fingers.

fundude365
Paperboy
Posts: 35
Joined: 12 Dec 2007

And yeah rhizic... GH is great... even for those with better things to do than spend all their time getting to FUCKING expert, like having sex with girls.

You are the only one.

Even my Girlfriend plays it.

And her best friend.

Who is also a Girl.

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