Well, well. Look what we have here.

It's been said before, time and time again, but repetition seems to be the only way to get a message through the hopelessly thick. Everything people post here, or anywhere, be it about games, movies, morality or anything, is all based on, and driven by, opinion. Opinion is the unstoppable tank in the back of a persons brain that constantly drives over the switches labeled "like" and "dislike" and "meh". Everybody has one about everything, it's human nature, and it's one of the things that separates us from animals. That, and well, pants of course.

Now, the design of your little opinion tank is a unique one, sharing parts with other people but not entire schematics. It's a component that helps identify you as a person as opposed to you as a flesh-bag. A horribly misused, misunderstood component, but a component nonetheless. It's the failure to understand the basic concept of an opinion that causes threads like this to grow and evolve overtime from a simple "New review is up" to "Fuck you" and "No, fuck you" in a matter of minutes.

The basic concept, of course, being the aforementioned variation in opinion and it's design. When a person can't grasp that an opinion is *supposed* to vary that anger begins to build in the brain. Anger then leads to stupidity, and stupidity then leads to the angry flaming bits of horribly mis-spelled, hard to read trollings of the fanboys and haters alike. An opinion clash will always lead to an opinion bash. It's a golden rule of human nature, and one of the most prevalent in internet "society", much to the dismay of many.

This whole Super Smash Bros issue (I do happen to have three seconds of my life I can afford to devote to typing the whole title, thank you) is a perfect example of what I mean. Who has more fans than Nintendo? What has more Nintendo than Super Smash Brothers? It's the perfect formula for Miyamoto and Co. to cash in on, and it shows in the vast horde of fanboys/girls, (hereby shortened to "Fanbirls") that it ultimately attracts. Mr. Yahtzee has decided to go out on a limb and respond to the slew of E-Mails begging him to review Smash Bros Brawl, and bring about these 34 pages of hate-spouting text. I applaud his bravado.

Stop here a tic.

Mistake number one here was not the review, but the fans who demanded it. If any of you had ever seen one of the fellows previous reviews, you'd know his nature, and should have prepared for the results. You've destroyed your own game in a sense, and have nobody to blame but yourselves and your E-Mails. Stop your crusade now, you're only slaughtering yourselves.

Got that? Okay, continue on.

So, immediately, people who hate the game flock to the forums after their viewing to vent all the curse words they've learned over the years to emulate their disgust with this product. All the fans flocked to the forum after their viewings to defend the title with their big 'ol shields, feeding the point Yahtzee has made in the past about Nintendo's crusader fans, in order to counter the hating group. Here we have the opinions to reinforce the review, and the opinions to defy meeting in commonplace. Here we have opinion clash. Here we have opinion bash. Everybody immediately sees fit to drop their maturity into the dirt, hide behind their mask of internet anonymity, and fling their E-Fists at everything.

A fight doomed to rage on 'till the end of ages, of course. You'll never win, whether you love it or hate it, because someone will always be able to counter you on a level as unintellectual as your own (Or lower. Failure to counter Yahtzee's review with logical counterpoints has previously been mentioned by another poster) and even if you somehow beat his stubborn face with your stubborn little fists until he collapses, someone else will step over his beaten shell to hit you back with some new word they've invented because the regular ones just weren't obscene enough as they were. TO make that relative to the fanbirls out there, and make a delightfully ironic mess out of this, "A challenger will approach".

I'm not ashamed to admit I do still enjoy my Super Smash Brothers: Brawl experiance, and I may even be one of the fanboys I've mentioned up to this point. I pre-ordered, I picked up on launch day, I indulged for a week. I choose to dispel my ignorance to opinion, however, and choose to take this piece of intellectual property for the humorous chunk of comedy it is.

When it comes down to it, I believe Hugh Hefner once said that "A nations true strength lies in it's ability to laugh at itself". Can't the same be applied to a fandom? When it comes down to it, I honestly don't give two shit's about what he thinks of my favourite games. Games like Oblivion and Bioshock and Mass Effect and Super Smash Brothers. I still love 'em and that's all that really counts. Sit back, grab a drink, and enjoy Mr. Croshaw's presentation of his hatred.

At least it's funny if you're secure enough in your fandom to understand his opinion isn't yours.

that must have taken a while

About 15-20 minutes.

'Course, it's all going to be ignored by the population here, who will no doubt choose to step over it and continue their little scrap. It's good to vent nonetheless though!

I think it's mostly simmered down.

But I think a flame in the right place will boot it up again

True enough, I suppose. These things do tend to be a powder keg rigged rather carelessly. I'll just have to take care not to light up any matches then.

Well, its a good post regardless - a pity the next review will probably explode in a powder of firely flame-waring regardless of what level-headed people say. I'm still just amazed that Nintendo and Metal Gear Solid fans have engaged in longer flame wars against Yahtzee's own personal opinion than Halo fans.

Yeah, I've noticed this too, and I think it's because both of these camps greet negative reviews and opinion with a surprised hostility, much like a badger who's lived underground all his life suddenly being cornered by a rabid moose. He's never seen a moose before, let alone a rabid one, and so naturally he'll defend his happy little sanctum tooth and nail. Whereas the Halo camp has seen it's fair share of slaps of the face and have most likely grown to accept that moose exist.

Pieces like these reviews though give the moose a rallying point. Somebody, in this case Mr. Croshaw, bellows the first trumpet and the legions of moose that have long been disguising themselves and other badgers or some woodland creature decide to make it a point to to suddenly reveal their true natures and attack anything badger-y. Granted, people may have tried to blow the whistle on these games before, Metal Gear Solid in particular, being too tough or too complicated in it's story for most people, but I doubt most or any of them have truly had the fanbase to support such an attack.

So the fires burn in the woods, and they burn gooooood.

...

I apologize for that whole analogy, but it flowed, so I kept it. I'm also fully aware that the entire analysis may be incorrect, but I can only explain with the knowledge I have, because I'm above making things up for the sake of being right or victorious, unlike a certain anti-video game lawyer currently facing possible disbarment. I do not, however, appear to be above potshots...

A bit late, perhaps, but I decided that I should give my opinion on this review anyway. Because I've fucking loved Super Smash Bros. ever since the N64 title, and was rather excited to see that Yahtzee had actually done this game as well (yes, I'm fairly new at Zero Punctuation, but if that makes any difference to you then I suggest you stick a nest of angry bees down your throat).

Now then. I am an utter and complete Nintendo fanboy who will buy any first- or second-party game that looks appealing. And on a side note, this fanboy also despises the mediocre gimmicky third-party games that seem to clutter around my remote-controlled wonder like fat kids swarming around ice cream. But enough of that. Super Smash Bros. Brawl has been a celebration of recognition (save for characters from the Mother series and the Star Fox series), and quite frankly, I enjoy the game for the gameplay as well. It's a departure from normal fighting games, where you simply mash random buttons until one person's health meter is depleted. In Smash Bros., you must incorporate actual strategy into your fighting, as your characters are allowed to move more than five feet apart from eachother (what the hell, DoA?) and have a variety of moves and special moves, which the game somehow manages to pull off despite having only three attack buttons (A, B and C in my case). Simply mashing buttons isn't going to get you anywhere, unless you're fighting another simple button-masher, in which case it would make a lot more sense to use your brain and take two steps away from said button-masher. But I've trailed off. The point is to knock your enemy off-screen. As much as possible. Now, some games do incorporate a ring-out system that grants automatic win, but the automatic win doesn't apply to Brawl, and frankly, I'm glad it doesn't. Unless you're playing a one-stock Super Sudden Death with damage ratio x2, but really, what's the fun of that?

And even when you're socially retarded, friendless and in no possession of a way to connect your Wii to the Internet (which allows you to play with complete and utter strangers who are as lonely and in possession of a virginity as you are), the single-player can still keep you amused for several hours. And yes, the SSE gets kinda tedious, but you push yourself through it anyway. The cutscenes are magnificently done, and often have a certain wit about them that is not hilarious, but does bring a smile to your face. And that is something that not many games are capable of, especially if they're not made by Nintendo. Besides, you wanna know what happens next. It's called immersion, and it rocks.

But it seems that I have trailed off from reviewing the review to reviewing the game, and while you can't deny that Yahtzee and I differ greatly in opinion, I still loved his review. It was funny and witty and made me laugh. OK, so he doesn't agree with me. Big fucking deal, I can still appreciate his work. I'm sure a lot of you disagreed with Hitler on the subject of killing all the jews, but you can't deny that his mindset was responsible for some pretty good roads in his country. And for those of you who cannot see past his ever-lasting criticism of 99% of all games ever made (which is more often than not justified), you need to get either a sense of humour, or a different view of reality, because in my reality, people should be able to say whatever the fuck they want without dumbass fanboys spewing unbased hatred at him for having a different opinion. I say "should", because that clearly is not the case in the real world, mostly due to said dumbass fanboys.

My conclusion is simple. You were completely wrong about Brawl and it's a great game that everybody should buy a Wii for, but at least you presented your review in a good way. A way that I have more fun with than with the average game. Which really says more about the gaming industry than about the review, but fuck it.

Oh, and feel free to only read the first two paragraphs and then assume that I hated Yahtzee's review because his opinion was different from mine, and that I'm a mindless fanboy who would still defend Brawl fiercely if it were to come with poo smeared all over the disc. I completely understand if your brain cannot put things into context before immediately turning the ON/OFF switch and placing your fingers on the "auto-grammar-fuck" button. Shut up, I know you have it, which is really the only explanation for the horrible English that I've seen flung around here, unless you type by slamming your face into the keyboard.

Oh, and yes, making Snake unlockable should be punishable by death. I couldn't give less of a shit about Sonic, he can die in a fire for all I care.

Shit.

I figured this thread was done with about 3 weeks ago?!

There should be a reply limit.

Ah! I agree with you 100% Kage Me... Which is really all I have to say, so I'm going to try and let this old thing die in peace.

*sigh* Will you people stop bumping this thread? IT'S OVER, people. Get on with your lives.

"In Smash Bros., you must incorporate actual strategy into your fighting, as your characters are allowed to move more than five feet apart from eachother (what the hell, DoA?) and have a variety of moves and special moves, which the game somehow manages to pull off despite having only three attack buttons (A, B and C in my case). Simply mashing buttons isn't going to get you anywhere, unless you're fighting another simple button-masher,"

I must respectfully disagree with you my friend. While I agree the variety of moves available is impressive especially when you factor in there's none of the up, left, square, circle, pause BS you have to put up with in most fighting games (Please note I actually like fighting games but I'll be damned if I possess the coordination to pull of a perfectly timed 11 button sequence.)

However I played this game for my first time with a bunch of people who were hardcore gamers and hardcore fans of the series who'd had it for a week and taken time off work to play it and using button mashing I still won. I don't think Yahtzee meant to say it will happen with any regularity but just that it's possible to win on pure dumb luck button mashing, but that's just my view I'm not Yahtzee (or am I?...no I'm not).

Woooh encyclopediadramatica was right, look at them comments like!
Awesome review aswell

CrazyBerk:
Woooh encyclopediadramatica was right, look at them comments like!
Awesome review aswell

This post excellently sums up just about everything I hate about the internet.

Can we please lock the thread now?

Stop whining! Brawl is awesome.

"MY FRIEND GUY'S HOUSE!" haha classic.

and how do you roll your tounge like that? how come i cant do it?

I have to say my first impression of brawl was this: Ok it's the same damn thing as melee only dressed up a little differently and with a new trinket or two.

Sick people, how can you waste your time defending a game, noob programmers could have easily put together!?

It's a fun game, but unfair and button-mash friendly, and thus not to be considered a serious, arguable, legendary game.

Wow, Azralt, you are my hero. That was amazing.

I find it interesting though that Yahtzee's statements are so often more true than anyone realizes. "If you personally enjoyed a game then they shouldn't bother you." Come on, do you honestly think that every person on the planet is going to like ANYTHING in the past present or future? Of course not, because that's impossible and would be boring as well.

And as Azralt said, though with me in a less eloquent way, all you people are certifiably retarded. There has been a grand total of 1 positive review in yahtzee's video history and that was psychonauts, months ago. Yet you all still requested this video then were totally "shocked" when he decided to bash it to hell and back.

If you like the game, why do you care. Nintendo has online now (shitty though it may be). Certainly you can find a dozen people to play with, and as long as you have enough people to play with and enjoy the game, screw the other 5.99999 billion people who hate it.

I liked his review. super smash bros is gay. Its the same as the other smash bros and all you do is mash the same fucking buttons over and over!!!!

Yahtzee I only discovered you about two months ago when i was skimming through youtube looking for random fable vids because my computer is shit and its basically the only rpg that works properly on the fucking thing (and yes i admit it, i did enjoy the game for the most part until i completed it the third time and got incredibly bored with it)and watchin your review again two days ago made me realise something that you actually bring up good points other than other critics most notably with this review and others concerning nintitdo and as i like to call him "resident little italy sewage man". Excellent review, and personally i dont mind fighting games (as long as there like MK and are a lot of gore and decapitated dickfaces heads allover the screen) but i wouldn't play this piece of shit pie that obviously most asswipe-blindsighted-Nintendo's personal ball juggler fan fuck boys seem to love to engorge themselves on and get incredibly obese even if they trapped me in a room stapled my balls to the floor and force fed me the controller because i hate the little overall wearing wrench dildo carrier, the little fuckers so old and used up he probably thinks hes still in line to do Mussolini's pipes or at least in league with the Germans. (by the way i don't hate Italians...just this one and the way their religion has been used around the world as an excuse to fuck up and murder things)pps i couldnt really give a fuck about my poor grammmer on this thing and as my name might imply i was only wrighting this badly because im mostly retarded (not retarded enough to know what a shit game is) and i needed to get this out of my head quick.

Haha!! I actually played the game for 10 minutes and I agree spot on with everything he said... I didn't like it either really!

and by the way i liked Azralt's little comment for i did find it to be rather amusing in some way so much so that if i was gay i'd have a bulge that would make me pass out because all the blood would have gone to my cock

I just don't see how people play SSBB by themselves. My brother got this game and it was pretty good, but to me it's only fun when you have 3+ other friends with you and you just constantly kill each other with all sorts of random things. I got sick of the singleplayer game after about 2 runs through.

I agree with the thing u said about the people who had to defend it bein the ppl who like this game, but then I'm not a fan of random characters from all over the place fighting games like Metal gear solid and Devil may cry 4 i saw both ur reveiws for the 4th of these 2 and it annoyed me but u make a good point i liked the games but some thjings about them do iritate me like in Devil may cry u swing ur sword about and it does fuck all some tyms anywho ye i agree with ur brawl reveiw

Is this thread STILL going?

DR_D:
I liked his review. super smash bros is gay. Its the same as the other smash bros and all you do is mash the same fucking buttons over and over!!!!

kinda reminds me of SC4, Halo 3 etc.
If smash bros brawl is a wet fanboy dream, then so are your exclusive console games. You hear us whining? I think not. Cant you small-minded fanboys leave a human being peace for once?

DR_D:
I liked his review. Super Ssmash Bros. is gay. It's the same as the other Smash Bros. and all you do is mash the same fucking buttons over and over!!!!>

What the hell does that have to do with homosexuality?
Also, you hit the same buttons over and over again in every game that uses buttons. There are only so many on the controller.

I actually have to disagree with the "Mash buttons" view cause if you do that its very easy to be picked of by the longer range attacks that every character has. Ive played online alot and I can say that its only the judged and well guided attacks that connect, the game itself is a platform fighter, so mashing buttons here would have the same effect as mashing buttons on one of the original buttons on the original Mario Bros games, alot of jumping and nut much else.

I feel kind of dirty posting in a thread this old, but I only made this account a few days ago, so there we are. I thought this was one his best reviews ever, because it gave SSBB the treatment it deserved: full, uncut loathing. SSBB wouldn't be so bad if it was silently released without too much hype or excitement. But there was a MASSIVE amount of people going on and on about the game; you would think that this game was a leader into the promise land. But it ended up becoming an ehh fighting platform/fighting/RPG/action game. It tries to do too much and does too little, and not well.

And I've played the game alone, with friends, online, and naked; none of those really provided too much entertainment and you end up staring a bit, or getting a restraining order against you because Mrs. Robinson doesn't like it when naked strangers play games on her couch.

Unless youve fought people one-on-one with no items you really cannot understand that it IS impossible for a button masher to beat a great player. Button mashers lose badly at this game unless they are up against poor opponents.

Yahtzee really should have targetted this games aweful online instead. Words cant describe how bad it is. It literally makes nintendos other online efforts look good. Enough said i think.

He was right about the subspace emissary. Repetitive and boring aside from the nice cutscenes.

Lock the thread! Can't stand the fanboy ranting on previous pages!! End this now so we can move on.

You know I disagree with his opinions on World of Warcraft but I don't get my panties in a bunch over it and I laugh at the people who do. I'm just pessimistic enough to agree with about ninty percent of what Yahtzee says.

hk

wow its like looking into a sock with banana in it only the sock is truth and the banana is fruit