Don't worry Yahtzee, I still love you, and I still masturbate to your picture* from the Uncharted: Drake's Fortune review that I keep on my hard drive with the rest of the facebook pics of people I want to duck.

*never put a picture of yourself on the internet...ever....

Sentient:

MRMIdAS2k:
So, you've not played the game, yet know the faults Yahtzee came up with don't exist?

Yes, I do. See, there's this amazing thing called the internet, it lets you find out a lot of stuff, even information on games that you haven't played! Amazing, huh? Add that to the fact that I've played Melee to death, and a lot of the complaints Yahtzee has about Brawl apply to Melee too, and you'll find that I do know that Yahtzee is just pulling shit out of his arse.

Here are a list of the "faults" Yahtzee found in Brawl:

1) The camera zooms out too far.
2) The characters are obscured by effects.
3) You don't have everything from the start.
4) You have to unlock stuff in single player.
5) The Subspace Emissary is too long.
6) SSBB is a button masher.
7) Subspace Emissary cutscenes are like Nintendo fanfics.
8) Characters don't deserve to be in the game just because he doesn't know them.

How many of those are complete and utter bullshit? 8 of them. Oh wait, that's ALL of them.

1) The camera is fine, it doesn't zoom too far out at any time, so Yahtzee must have been playing this on a pathetically tiny television in order for this "fault" to have any validity.
2) This is just bullshit. The only times in the entire game where the characters are obscured by effects is when the Smoke Ball has been used (an item DESIGNED to obscure the characters).
3) OMIGOD! YOU HAVE TO UNLOCK STUFFZ? ZOMG THIS GAME SUCKZ!
4) Funny how nearly all of the single player modes can be played in co-op WITH SOMEONE ELSE. There goes that "fault".
5) Usually people complain when a game is too short. The Subspace Emissary's length is fine.
6) If Yahtzee honestly thinks SSBB is a button masher then he should just quit gaming right now.
7) I've never heard of a Nintendo fanfic that remotely resembles the Subspace Emissary. Yet another "fault" Yahtzee made up in a failed attempt at complaining about SSBB.
8) Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawww! He should go to Google and get over his ignorance.

Those were Yahtzee's 8 main "faults" he claimed SSBB had, and I just proved what utter bullshit they all are. I could easily make a list of faults SSBB has, and all of the points I'd raise would be valid and not imaginary. In fact, here's a list of the faults SSBB has:

1) Tripping. A pointless addition that only hinders the gameplay.
2) Clones. They're still here, even after we were promised they'd be gone.
3) Release date. It's taken too long to be released in Europe.
4) Some series are horribly over-represented, whilst others are under-represented.
5) Very similar to Melee.

There you go, five faults about SSBB, and what do you know? All of them are true! That wasn't hard to do, so what's Yahtzee's excuse?

MRMIdAS2k:
Yahtzee highlights what is essentially a massive FUCK YOU from brawl which is PLAY AS SONIC (after countless fucking HOURS playing, FFS I finished GTA4 before my friend unlocked brawl fully. (and by that I mean got all the characters)) when shit like that happens it's not fun (which brawl is supposed to be), as you're doing the same shit, fighting the same fucking people on the same fucking level over and fucking over until you get a message going "you've played long enough, have a character that 0.1% of westerners give half a fuck about, oh BTW sonics still a fuckload of hours away, enjoy".

You do realize that how long you play Brawl for doesn't factor at all into unlocking any characters, don't you? Obviously not, or else you wouldn't have just made a twat out of yourself.

Edderz1989:
FANBOY!!!

Oh, I'm so hurt. I just got called a fanboy by some dick who blatantly doesn't know the meaning of the word.

Edderz1989:
ow and what the hell do you mean "don't review it becasue you'll get half of the complaints". who here can say hand on heart that they'ed watch yahtzee if he didn't rip games to peices.

He could at least find some real things to complain about. He obviously couldn't do that about Brawl (god knows how, it's not hard to do).

mspencer82:
The word is existent.

Aawww. That's so cute. You're trying to copy Yahtzee by being a spelling nazi! Go stand in a field you fucking sheep.

mspencer82:
Why are you so bothered by someone not liking Brawl?

Wow. How hard did you try in order to completely misunderstand my post as much as you have? I have no problem with someone disliking Brawl. What I do have a problem with is when someone hates on a game and has no real reasons for doing it, and then a bunch of ass-kissers follow his lead and start hating that game without reason too.

mspencer82:
You say he shouldn't have reviewed it if he didn't want to, but at the same time your fellow Brawl fanatics (and likely you) begged him to review it. Was he just supposed to ignore those requests if he didn't like the game? Is that what a reviewer does now, only review games they like?

Nice assumption about me, shame it isn't true. I never begged him to review it. Ever. Yes, I was looking forward to him reviewing it, but that's because I thought he'd be clever enough to rip the game about it's actual faults like the fact you can randomly trip over. Obviously I overestimated his intelligence.

mspencer82:
What exactly were these non-existent flaws that Yahtzee pointed out?

See above.

Edderz1989:
THANK YOU.

STFU.

Okay, guy who thinks Yahtzee just pulled these faults out of his ass, I own the game. The camera does do that (I don't care really, I use it to my advantage), the effects do obscure view (especially Metaknight's) and it is a button masher. You are a fanboy, deal with it, move on, and shut up about a game you don't even own. You are a retard. Really. Go fling yourself from a cliff.

A bold, and courageous move, mr. Croshaw sticks it to all the Super Smash Brothers fanboys and girls. I think it was a well thought out move.
Anyone who e-mailed him angrily about the game seriously needed a kick to the teeth.

That was lovely. LOL @ Gamespot employee and Xbox 360.

ccesarano:
What amazes me is that he gets this many reactions from SSBB, but not enough from Halo 3 to justify something similar there.

I thought Halo fanboys were supposed to be the worst?

I'm just as surprised as you are.

Hilarious.

Don't know anything about SSMB, but regardless of whether Yahtzee was correct or not in his criticisms, that was great entertainment.

Yep, Yahtzee, the retards are always guys that cannot for the life of them spell proper. But really, don't reply to morons, otherwise it gives them credence. But I like the Guantanamo Bay thing: all people are indeed shit until they prove themselves worthy of my love.

Abolished:
Let me just state I am not a "Fanboy" ok so that's cleared up let me say this

Opinion
1. a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty.
2. a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.
3. the formal expression of a professional judgment.
4. a judgment or estimate of a person or thing with respect to character, merit, etc.
5. a favourable estimate; esteem

Yahtzee is offering his opinion or expressing it to viewers who choose to view or hear it so people that complain about his opinion confuse me. If you don't like someone's views on something like religion, sports, weather ect don't attack him for expressing himself. All peoples opinions are or should be valued even if its something you don't like or upsets you. You can choose to accept, disagree ect, then that is your opinion which you are offering and no one should attack or hate you for it. Seriously people this is how wars start.

I regret that most people did not offer their opinions in the right way to Yahtzee, sure it wouldn't have changed his mind, but it may have made Yahtzee respect them a little more.

Haha, the cartoon figure with the black bar censoring his eyes looks like one of the Daft Punk robots!

Heil, Grammar Nazi!!! (Really, I support your cause.)

Bloody brilliant, Yahtzee. Way to turn those letters of pure e-ignorance into something we can all enjoy!

This was the funniest ZP I've seen. The man is brilliant. Hopefully people continue to bitch so we can see their skulls bashed in some more. I got yo back Yahtzee.

Oh hey, Yahtzee used one of my comments and actually explained it pretty well rather than the rest of the insults he tossed to other users.

Sentient:

MRMIdAS2k:
So, you've not played the game, yet know the faults Yahtzee came up with don't exist?

Yes, I do. See, there's this amazing thing called the internet, it lets you find out a lot of stuff, even information on games that you haven't played! Amazing, huh? Add that to the fact that I've played Melee to death, and a lot of the complaints Yahtzee has about Brawl apply to Melee too, and you'll find that I do know that Yahtzee is just pulling shit out of his arse.

(addressing the entire comment)I think that you might be taking this to close to heart. Why should you care if people don't like a game that you do? Especially over the internet you don't know or care about these people so you don't have to sit their and wait for the next person to say something bad about Brawl because it will happen and not just here. Not everyone will like a game. Yes Yahtzee has a fanbace that will follow him to the end of the earth and back but that doesn't by any means make you have to take them all on in a battle to the death. Please just Leave it as it is and don't stoop to their levels.

ayoama:

ccesarano:
What amazes me is that he gets this many reactions from SSBB, but not enough from Halo 3 to justify something similar there.

I thought Halo fanboys were supposed to be the worst?

I'm just as surprised as you are.

I'm not the average age for a wii owner must be around 5-10 so would spark more of a reaction in their young impressionable minds.

Abolished:
Let me just state I am not a "Fanboy" ok so that's cleared up let me say this

Opinion
1. a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty.
2. a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.
3. the formal expression of a professional judgment.
4. a judgment or estimate of a person or thing with respect to character, merit, etc.
5. a favourable estimate; esteem

Yahtzee is offering his opinion or expressing it to viewers who choose to view or hear it so people that complain about his opinion confuse me. If you don't like someone's views on something like religion, sports, weather ect don't attack him for expressing himself. All peoples opinions are or should be valued even if its something you don't like or upsets you. You can choose to accept, disagree ect, then that is your opinion which you are offering and no one should attack or hate you for it. Seriously people this is how wars start.

No they don't. Wars start for many different reasons, previous examples include;

An ear being cut off
One country deciding it wanted a big navy
Paying for goods with drugs
Removal of a nearby guard patrol
Recruitment of sailors into a forign navy
A dead pig
Self government
Home rule

Violent difference of opinion rearly starts wars, it grows because of wars.

Rofl Sentient is the kind of person that made games suck today. He's the reason even Nintendo lowers their standard greatly to become a "fast-food" game company.

Well, I haven't read all the comments here (Yeah, it's laziness, and people are racing to make themselves heard here quite quickly), but that person with the name of "Patronizing"? I hope it's all an elaborate joke, or I've never seen a more accurate name someone inadvertently gave themselves. I doubt he'll ever read this, but if so: Patronizing, you are not Yahtzee's personal attack dog. People are entitled to their own opinions. If someone likes his older reviews or style of reviewing better, that's perfectly valid. It's not as if they took a swipe at your mother or kicked you in the balls or something. Damn. Please just calm yourself. Not everyone has to be worshiping Yahtzee or saying every single one of his reviews is "lol this is the best yet!" to actually like him.

OMG 401st post!

Yea ban me.

Anyway, GREAT REVIEW!! Nothing like some good console bashing to start my morning. Especially SSBB. That game hasn't brought anything new to the table since it's first release on N64 and apparently Yahtzee is the only reviewer these days who has the balls to say the truth about a game. The fact is that most games these days ARE shit and should be treated like it until they prove their worth. Hurray Yahtzee!

So did he like Mailbag Showdown, or what?

Personally I found this ZP to be amusing, not exactly titilating, but amusing none the less. I found it hard to read all those self righteous defenses of SSBB and am glad to see Yahtzee punishing those who made them for not being careful enough to watch their spelling. If I remember correctly he at one point did make an off hand remark about what he'd majored in in college/university, I think it was something 'Media Studies' although I don't remember exactly, I'll have to go back and rewatch his Condemned 2 review.

Agreed that a number system is ridiculously subjective quantifying in the pretentious intent of appearing objective in their use. Thank you Yahtzee for bucking games reviewing tradition.

Am I the only one who has felt as though their skills in this language go up as they enjoy these videos? Please tell me I'm not, I'll feel so very much alone. I'm wondering if these letters he's referencing in the video were posts here on his message board or actual emails. I only ask because there seemed to be an awful lot of posts that looked just like the ones he tore to shreds in the video. Personally I prefer to acknowledge Yahtzee's wish that we not fill his inbox with hate and dross so I suppose I'm in a distinct minority considering how often he blathers on about being annoyed by his 'fans'

I don't believe this video was great, it was merely average. To quote Yatzhee himself "Boiler-plate, Run of the mill." And despite the fact that he obviously doesn't intend to review Mario Kart Wii, which I won't ask that he do as I happen to like the game inspite and sometimes because of what are considered its faults I really don't expect him to comment. More I'm interested in hearing his opinion of GTAIV mostly because I'm not particularly into that series.

Thus far, when I've had the advantage of playing the games he's reviewed myself I have a consistant tendancy to absolutely agree.

Brawl is pathetic, the only thing I like about it is the niceness of the character models. And besides I'm told that everyone hates my favourite characters for being clones so bugger off.

Best Review ever, even though it wasnt a review. I hate how ppl are talking about SSBB as if its god. Its been done before it was just revamped. Im not saying it isnt a good game, it's just that if ur gonna make a sequel, make it VASTLY different.

I am surprised at the amount of vitriol on both sides of the arguments being posted here. For those who believe Yahtzee was being a troll this week, I must ask, "why?" Why is it considered being a troll to respond to those who have sent him hate mail? Even more, why is it considered to be a troll to take a humorous look at the mail he receives. Very early on in the forum, a couple of people said that it was a generally accepted rule not to make fun of your own fans. However, the emails that he quoted here were truly ridiculous. None of them were well reasoned arguments against his review. And, as it has so often been pointed out, a review is a subjective statement of opinion by one person who played the game. It should be noted that most (not all) of the objections in the SSBB forum could be summed up in the emails he reviewed here. It should also be noted that the two emails in which there was anything close to a reasoned argument, he did take the time to give an equally reasoned response.

To those who disagree with those who don't like a review posted by Yahtzee, I must ask, "Why are these people considered to be retards?" They, like Yahtzee, are more than welcome to post their subjective opinion on each video. That's one of the reasons this forum exists. Each person who comes to Zero Punctuation to watch these videos comes for a reason. Some, like me, come to enjoy a good laugh. Some come with the intention of being insulted. Some come with the intention of insulting others. However, because a person disagrees with you, your view, or the view of Yahtzee, this does not make them a retard or whatever other derogative term that could be chosen. It is possible to enjoy or dislike these videos and discuss them without a war being opened in the forums.

Let's get back to the good old weeks when we could watch a review, laugh about it, and discuss it like the reasonably well-adjusted crazy people we are.

Hah. What were these people expecting from Yahtzee, of all people? They must be the sort of people who watch Top Gear and expect serious discussion, or at least Jeremy Clarkson not acting like a twat.

Then again, I'm so white I bleed middle class, so it stands to reason that I'm a PC gamer first and foremost, which lets me avoid the pesky little console children laying into one another like religious fundamentalists screaming at each other over who has the best imaginary friend.

I must say, that was an excellent review, Yahtzee! I can't say anything that wouldn't be reiterating what you've already said, so I'm just going to say that this video review was by far one of my favorites, right up there with your Devil May Cry 4, Super Paper Mario, and Assassin's Creed reviews. About half the e-mails you responded to weren't even Brawl related; just e-mailers raging against your reviewing style. I love how you responded to some of them and you even did it with your usual "zero punctuation" speech. I can't really think of anything critical to say because you have your right to speak your voice and defend your beliefs, and to that I say, "Bravo!"

Great job! Keep up the good work.

Wow, these just keep getting better and better. It's a shame to see how retarded some viewers/e mailers/trolls/whiners get actually, they don't seem to realize the whole point of reviews in general. Plus so far I think Yahtzee has been pretty damn good at explaining WHAT is bad or good about a game instead of just mindlessly praising or bashing it like the majority of game reviewers do.
What saddens me most about this whole thing is that even in this thread the fanboying goes on. Come on, if you like SSBB so much, go play it instead of attentionwhoring and/or feeling violated by another person's opinion.
Also, yay to spelling correction.

Loved the ending, with the 360 dying and pissing over itself, but I'm pretty sure they don't really do that as much nowadays to be fair?

Whatever, A+ for this video Mr Croshaw, I well and truly laughed my ass off.

Jer-oh-me:
Agreed that a number system is ridiculously subjective quantifying in the pretentious intent of appearing objective in their use. Thank you Yahtzee for bucking games reviewing tradition.

Another major problem with the number system when used as a percent is you can alway tell when the person reviewing the game is either an idiot or board as they will give a score of 69% which I don't know about you irritates me as I want an opinion, not a giggle.

Funny how the comments on anything that Yatzee says about SSB always degenerate into something that looks like the retards comments on YouTube.
He says anything bad about games on the PS3 and 360 and you get some rational rebuttal, but when it comes to a Wii game it's like all the fanboys were retards.

Just saying...

Jer-oh-me:
Personally I found this ZP to be amusing, not exactly titilating, but amusing none the less. I found it hard to read all those self righteous defenses of SSBB and am glad to see Yahtzee punishing those who made them for not being careful enough to watch their spelling. If I remember correctly he at one point did make an off hand remark about what he'd majored in in college/university, I think it was something 'Media Studies' although I don't remember exactly, I'll have to go back and rewatch his Condemned 2 review.

Agreed that a number system is ridiculously subjective quantifying in the pretentious intent of appearing objective in their use. Thank you Yahtzee for bucking games reviewing tradition.

Am I the only one who has felt as though their skills in this language go up as they enjoy these videos? Please tell me I'm not, I'll feel so very much alone. I'm wondering if these letters he's referencing in the video were posts here on his message board or actual emails. I only ask because there seemed to be an awful lot of posts that looked just like the ones he tore to shreds in the video. Personally I prefer to acknowledge Yahtzee's wish that we not fill his inbox with hate and dross so I suppose I'm in a distinct minority considering how often he blathers on about being annoyed by his 'fans'

I don't believe this video was great, it was merely average. To quote Yatzhee himself "Boiler-plate, Run of the mill." And despite the fact that he obviously doesn't intend to review Mario Kart Wii, which I won't ask that he do as I happen to like the game inspite and sometimes because of what are considered its faults I really don't expect him to comment. More I'm interested in hearing his opinion of GTAIV mostly because I'm not particularly into that series.

Thus far, when I've had the advantage of playing the games he's reviewed myself I have a consistant tendancy to absolutely agree.

Brawl is pathetic, the only thing I like about it is the niceness of the character models. And besides I'm told that everyone hates my favourite characters for being clones so bugger off.

The professional troll comment was made by me on the forums here. I don't know about the rest, but they were likely edited slightly as well, since he cut out the part where I said he should stick to his 1 or 2 preferred genres and a few other things.

I was looking forward to seeing this week's review, but this was a pretty satisfying substitute. Your responses reflected a lot I like about your approach: Detailed comments instead of simple rating systems, not aligning yourself with an "objective" opinion. With the Internet full as it is of people reviewing decade old games with not much more than a string of jokes about shit, it's nice to know someone's providing an insightful commentary.

Personally, I enjoyed the older Smash Brothers games I played if I was ever in the position to play them. Nothing I'd pay for myself, but it's good fun in the groups I've played it with. Spot on with the button-mashers criticism, though.

Hey Yahtzee,

Cheers, mate. Paul here. Originally from Belgium, studied in London and now live in the Los Angeles. One of the things about getting fan mail is that you occasionally have to deal with people whose IQ is questionable; you know, like the rest of USA. Not anti-USA completely but I have lived here long enough to unfortunately smell the pseudo loyalist BS miles away. Anyone ever questions their taste and they will immediately attack you because in their eyes no one should question their poor taste or choices, you know, like any typical fascist society. Frankly I think your reviews are stellar, mate. Finally someone who can review games without the precarious sponsoring of retard game developers whose only concern is "MAKE ME MORE MONEY". I look forward to watching your reviews and giving the business to the manginas of Nintendo followers.

To be honest, looking at the controls of Melee if it is similar, with the gamecube controller I don't think you can button mash on Brawl

And to Sermon- I don't really think one reviewer's opinion will stop people from buying a game

thank you Yahtzee for insulting fanboys and fangirls......in freken awesome and hilarious
way (as usuall)

ive played brawl it was fun but im not stupid FANBOY to ignore whats bad about the game
all the thing Yahtzee said about brawl before i agree all the thing he said made sense and were proven

...unlike most fanboy and fangirl BS which in most of the time they are just typeing whatever come,s to thier monkey ass brains so i have this to say to fan person who cant take any form of critisim or opnion that bascily says thier game is not great

SHUT YOU GOD FING MOUTHS YOU F**** F*****,s

but serioully this fanboy/fangirl crap is really starting to annoy me

Patronizing:

Leave then. Why do people on the internet act as if their mere presence on a site is something to be worshipped and cherished?

If you don't like what Yahtzee is doing, or think it "used to be better", don't bitch and rant about it endlessly on the forum, just leave.

I wasn't RANTING. I was stating my opinion in a calm and collected manner. Seems to me YOU have the rant going.

The only and I repeat the ONLY flaw that I have found in anything Yahtzee has said in the 2 things about Brawl is that he praises Nintendo about including Lucas but yell at them about Marth. WTF they both have about the same Japan only story line behind them yet he can be perfectly happy about one and complain about the other. Overall I have to say his review made sense and I enjoyed it but that one line just made me mad enough to join this forum and complain about it

Kaos Incarnate:

s0denone:

Kaos Incarnate:
Same could be said for the Playstation and X-box side aswell, but then again most people are biased to certain consoles, that they don't admit it.

Care to name a few titles? Will be happy to agree/disagree with you. I might be a little biased, as I only own the xbox 360, but I still can't think of a game that is just a recycle of the same old bull.

With the exceptions of all sport games, but that goes for all consoles, and the PC.

Well considering the guy says three games in a series is "recycling" I would say

Halo
GTA
Final Fantasy
Kingdom Hearts

and many more for any console, i'm not saying these out of spite, I do own a 360 as well as a Wii, but people can be a little short sighted to a console they love.

At least Halo progresses a storyline (albeit a piss weak one), since when has a game involving Mario or in fact any of the other annoyingly recycled characters done that?

black_reaver:

Hamster at Dawn:
OK, that was seriously the best ZP you have done yet. I was pissing myself laughing the whole way through. Most notably, I liked the Gamespot reference but I would have to say my favourite bit was the number 4. The 360 joke hit particularly close to home seeing as mine bricked just last week.

FYI Spell-checker, 'favourite' is spelled with a 'u' and there is no 'z' in 'customise'

Err... there is in the British spelling of those words. Just FYI.

AAActually here in Britain, we don't have a 'z' in customise and there is a 'u' in favourite. Just FYI