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Zero Punctuation: S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky

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defcon 1
Muckraker
Posts: 333
Joined: 3 Jan 2008

So it's essentially the same game with all those oh so wonderful bugs included. Yahtzee implied that they didn't fix the walking problem where you have to walk across some land large enough to harbor multiple timezones with only a stamina system that only gets worse the heavier your load becomes. That immersion BS doesn't quite cut it for me since the enemy can take more hits than a pin cushion can take pins, the voice actors are few, the graphical glitches, a $1000+ computer in order to make it not look like shit, and when I start reading a book when traveling cross country.

I remember the first game released 5 patches and still couldn't fix all the bugs. Since this is essentially the same game with DX10 and two patches, do these guys just no know what they're doing?

Hedberger
Paperboy
Posts: 17
Joined: 19 Mar 2008

@Triple G

If you buy it here's a link to the Redux forum

http://z4.invisionfree.com/STALKERRE/index.php?act=idx

Not for the faint of heart ^^

This is realism

LoganAsh
Paperboy
Posts: 23
Joined: 7 Jul 2008

To WrongSprite, it's the prequel to the Original game, so you can play it without having played the one before. I'd still recommend it though, amazing game!

MrBoBo
Anonymous Source
Posts: 4
Joined: 23 Jul 2008

defcon 1:
yahtzee implied that they didn't fix the walking problem where you have to walk across some land large enough to harbor multiple timezones with only a stamina system that only gets worse the heavier your load becomes.

No, he didn't imply that as such, you can use a fast travel via a guide.

defcon 1:
do these guys just no know what they're doing?

Whatever they are diong, it doesn't feel like the generic halo style fps out there. So obviosly not the same as everyone else.

ssgt splatter
Paperboy
Posts: 17
Joined: 8 Oct 2008

i dont think they do know what they're doing defcon 1 but still it is fun to drop the nuclear bunker buster or the MOAB on the "poor" VZ or anyone else you've pissed off

XT
Paperboy
Posts: 41
Joined: 21 May 2008

gamer_award:
S.T.A.L.K.E.R. S.U.C.K.S.

you're bad at the shootan and you should feel bad.

ssgt splatter
Paperboy
Posts: 17
Joined: 8 Oct 2008

i know i'm jumping the gun here, but i can't wait to see how yahtzee is going to attack Gears of War 2. If its anything like the COD 4 review it should be somewhat friendly/nice

ElephantGuts
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1027
Joined: 9 Jul 2008

Nice one. Though I feel I should at that policemen become a lot less angry when they are dead. Well, they don't show it as much anyway.

Vromnir
Paperboy
Posts: 20
Joined: 23 Sep 2008

Lol, what?

I thought my computer crashed when he did the error thing. Anyone know how he did that?

sky14kemea
Copy Clerk
Posts: 92
Joined: 26 Jun 2008

lmao

the end was fantastically funny XD
great review yahtzee, at least there is some laughter on the shitty horizon i call life

Vromnir
Paperboy
Posts: 20
Joined: 23 Sep 2008

SecretTacoNinja:
Ahh the crashing joke works every time.

SILENT HILL NEXT WEEK! WOO!

cutekittenkyti:
i didnt get the
"and whistled for a baboon" joke
maybe im internet deprived?
or was it just something random that yahtzee said after the "error"
I'm assuming its a reference though
he always makes references
or really funny metaphors

*Hits you on head with newspaper*
Bad kitty.

Wait wtf?

SecretTacoNinja
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 861
Joined: 8 Jul 2008

Vromnir:

SecretTacoNinja:
Ahh the crashing joke works every time.

SILENT HILL NEXT WEEK! WOO!

cutekittenkyti:
i didnt get the
"and whistled for a baboon" joke
maybe im internet deprived?
or was it just something random that yahtzee said after the "error"
I'm assuming its a reference though
he always makes references
or really funny metaphors

*Hits you on head with newspaper*
Bad kitty.

Wait wtf?

What?

SeniorDingDong
Copy Clerk
Posts: 83
Joined: 8 Jan 2008

Eggo:

L.B. Jeffries:
STALKER is based on an artsy Russian film about a mysterious zone that has a hidden room in it that fulfills a person's wishes. The whole thing is very philosophical and mostly involves 3 guys walking around Chernobyl's wasteland. The idea is that it's all a metaphor for Russia's collapsed attempt at being a super po-

GONZO!!!1!! GONZO BITCHES!!!! BAHAHAAHAHAHAH!!!!

And that artsy Russian movie is based on an artsy Russian book.

Both are great to read/watch btw...

CkretAznMan
Paperboy
Posts: 17
Joined: 8 Oct 2008

"Angry policemen are en route and resistance will only make them angrier." ìf-ing hilarious. This totally brightened my day, thanks Yahtzee. Can't wait for the Homecoming review (which ironically is happening at my place, too).

Psychedeliasmith
Paperboy
Posts: 43
Joined: 1 Jan 2008

Ha, I loved this one. But I fear the review of Homecoming. I am *almost* determined to buy it, and the (inevitably evil?) review from Yahtzee might push me towards the sensible option of ignoring it (or maybe just renting it.) My expectations aren't terribly high because I know I can be spoonfed a lot of identikit pap labelled 'Silent Hill' and still be satisfied, but having the spirit of Yahtzee making some horribly apt quip about how rubbish it is could ruin it for me forever.

Oh my god. I have no opinions of my own any more.

guyy
Beat Writer
Posts: 157
Joined: 6 Mar 2008

*BBZT*...and whistled for a baboon!

Are you really supposed to pronounce each letter in S.T.A.L.K.E.R.? Because that's just silly.

internutt
Muckraker
Posts: 305
Joined: 27 Aug 2008

Hilarious. I now want some baked beans...

crazy guy532
Anonymous Source
Posts: 9
Joined: 1 Oct 2008

i wonder what he possibly used intead of "illegal operation" oh well it was still very funny even if it did make me think my comp crashed again.

Skeleon
Anonymous Source
Posts: 7
Joined: 2 Nov 2007

Wow, that one was great! I genuinely laughed out loud. Especially the two times the video "crashed".
I played Ess Tee Ay Ell Kay Ee Arr 1 and really enjoined it... mostly.
Sounds like part 2 is good, too, though it might be prudent to wait a few months before buying it and wait for a patch or two first.

Fratboy
Paperboy
Posts: 12
Joined: 16 Jul 2008

lol
"If problem persists, sing gentle lullibies and lovingly stroke it's hair."
nice,..

Fratboy
Paperboy
Posts: 12
Joined: 16 Jul 2008

He's Yahtzee, nuf said

katsabas
Paperboy
Posts: 22
Joined: 23 Apr 2008

Can anyone explain the whistled for a baboon part? And how about a script of yahtzee's review for the non english to understand better.

The_root_of_all_evil
News Room Contributor
Posts: 4840
Joined: 13 Feb 2008

cutekittenkyti:
i didnt get the
"and whistled for a baboon" joke
maybe im internet deprived?
or was it just something random that yahtzee said after the "error"
I'm assuming its a reference though
he always makes references
or really funny metaphors

This is probably what he's referencing : http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=NPiGJBHVadA (Not a rickroll)

The_root_of_all_evil
News Room Contributor
Posts: 4840
Joined: 13 Feb 2008

ssgt splatter:
how does yahtzee talk so fast? it almost seems inhuman. But anyway, funny stuff

This amazes me...do you lot talk really slow or something?

duckferret
Anonymous Source
Posts: 9
Joined: 18 Aug 2008

lol, this was a good one

Saxon-Mercenary
Anonymous Source
Posts: 4
Joined: 7 May 2008

I couldn't stop laughing when the video lagged! But the second time was unneeded.

Vlane
Beat Writer
Posts: 209
Joined: 14 Sep 2008

Nice review but I hope next weeks review is going to be better because it is Silent Hill.

Your.Name.Here
Press Junketeer
Posts: 374
Joined: 10 Oct 2008

Best review in a long time by him. Not saying recent ones were bad, but this was truly amazing.

swytchblayd
Paperboy
Posts: 25
Joined: 28 May 2008

Oh god... at first, I nearly wet my pants when I heard the 'broken-record' music... thought my computer had crashed itself XD It seems we're getting back into more of the Classic Yahtzee now, which is a good thing. Very well done ^-^

On another note, it is nice once in a while to have a game that reminds us that, when the end really does come around, there won't be any super-powered man in an armored suit to save us... or anything of that ilk x-x

On second thought, that's not so nice, but at least its realistic.

hem dazon 90
Muckraker
Posts: 319
Joined: 12 Aug 2008

a day off on the day a new zero puctuatuation and avgn vid come out i must be in heavan

Quinn Davis
Paperboy
Posts: 19
Joined: 6 Jan 2008

Oh, Yahtzee, don't play Silent Hill. Just don't. It would be terrible to lose you, and , since you're a fan of the series,you WILL get brain herpes and die screaming if you play that game. I did.

Then I played a round as good ol' crazy James Sunderland again, and I got all better.

Prepare Croshaw, Prepare to contemplate the death of a dream if we Americans have taken over Silent Hill for good.

I hope you REALLY wanted a sequel to the movie. REALLY REALLY BAD.

Mariena
Muckraker
Posts: 313
Joined: 25 Sep 2008

Argh argh argh argh argh.. DAMN YOU.

I was gleefully listening, then the sound started looping. I had this wave of anxiety and "ohmygod blue screen is imminent".. I braced for impact, only to see it wasn't real.

Argh. :(

daedrick
Copy Clerk
Posts: 61
Joined: 23 Jul 2008

OOoOOooOh thaaaaaaaank you very much! I was waiting for this one impatiently! You made my day... really, my day really ( REALLY ) sucked until now. <3 <3 <3

PS: Aye for difficult game! :D

Cid SilverWing
Muckraker
Posts: 327
Joined: 27 Jul 2008

01:26 - Please explain why you referenced furries.

Eipok Kruden
Beat Writer
Posts: 148
Joined: 29 Aug 2008

I wonder when Yahtzee is gonna review Dead Space...if ever. Seriously, who wants Yahtzee to review Dead Space? That would be something I'd really want to watch.

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