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Zero Punctuation: S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky

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xitel
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1090
Joined: 13 Aug 2008

I can't agree or disagree with the review, I have yet to play the games, but I will agree that the ease of patching has led to games being more bug-filled, because they can jsut fix things with a patch later. It's ruining games for people who buy them when they first come out.

xuchilbara
Anonymous Source
Posts: 2
Joined: 17 Jul 2008

Yay, Silent Hill Homecoming next time! I can't wait! \o/

thisguy41487
Anonymous Source
Posts: 1
Joined: 15 Oct 2008

I'm surprised that he didn't play on the crashing more. I was expecting a joke on it by at least 1 minute in. Or the Clear Sky trader dying randomly while trading. But my favorite part is when he says that the game reminds us that at the downfall of society we will be just as useless as we are now. HAHAHAHA! Luckily I own an AK-47 so I won't have to worry about wild boars killing me when I'm out looking for sausage rolls in highly radiated areas.

sv93
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 677
Joined: 19 Aug 2008

lol awesome review. love the message box and the video crashing and how do you get badges?

Jameshizzle
Anonymous Source
Posts: 10
Joined: 12 Oct 2008

I still think his video "crashing" was funny

rougeknife
Beat Writer
Posts: 177
Joined: 2 Jan 2008

oddly compelling, yes. I enjoyed it.

Despite the fact I made up a tally of all the crashes I had. 25 blue screens of death before the last patch, along with 15 crashes to the desktop is not what I call fun.

But I still came back every time.

UsefulPlayer 1
Beat Writer
Posts: 154
Joined: 22 Feb 2008

LOL holy shit man Yahtzee always gets me with that shit.

TheECP
Paperboy
Posts: 11
Joined: 1 Nov 2007

LOL the "crash" got me worried, I was about to close my browser, haha. And the crash at the end of the credits was funny too. Great review as well.

duck_the_hitman
Anonymous Source
Posts: 4
Joined: 21 Aug 2008

i played it with the 1.5.05 patch, it only crashed 2 times during the whole time i played through the game.

why is Yahtzee only focusing on 1-2 things when there's like 10 more things that can be said?
taders giving you crums for loot?
npc having aimbot for grenade throws?
where's the stalker-soc horror???
and many more...

and you need to spend more time on each point, instead of just mentioning them briefly.
it doesn't feel like your heart's in it anymore ;(

HotKakes
Anonymous Source
Posts: 6
Joined: 2 Aug 2008

Great job once again. I'm a little excited yet scared about the upcoming Silent Hill Homecoming review. It is going to get ripped a new one.

Stragen
Anonymous Source
Posts: 7
Joined: 21 Sep 2007

Good review and very accurate.

+1 from me :)

Unkillable Cat
Paperboy
Posts: 50
Joined: 25 Jun 2008

Damn it I thought my browser had crashed!
Anyone else feel slightly cheted by the fact that Yhatzee seemed to genuinely like this game?

arc1991
Anonymous Source
Posts: 10
Joined: 25 Aug 2008

u got the log in problem aswell...glad it wernt just me lol havnt been able to log on for a few days, is it the new patch??

JasonCooper
Anonymous Source
Posts: 5
Joined: 14 Aug 2008

While there are both official and third-party patches that fix numerous issues mentioned (NPCs having perfect vision, weapons jamming to hell as well as being inaccurate as hell, etc), I agree fully that they shouldn't be needed, GSC should've taken a little more time bugtesting.

arc1991
Anonymous Source
Posts: 10
Joined: 25 Aug 2008

Mikazuki:
A nice review, as allways. Thanks for cheering me up. Now, if you will excuse me, I will go and check if I'm finally able to log onto my realm in WoW.

Regards,

Mikazuki

u have the log on problem aswell, glad it wernt just me, is it cause of the new patch??

Willwillwritehiswill
Beat Writer
Posts: 167
Joined: 23 Jul 2008

nice review. looking forward to silent hill next week.

acebrainbuster
Paperboy
Posts: 16
Joined: 13 Oct 2008

god i always had to do the quick save every enemy was placed in the shitiest place and i had to press it every 2 seconds just to get through half the game... but i still kept playing because it wasn't boring like a lot of other hardass games but it still seems like a sucky combination of an RPG, first person shooter, and a horror game

oshin
Paperboy
Posts: 13
Joined: 25 Apr 2008

Funny review as always, the crashing parts struck terror into my heart, just as it does any other pc gamer.

jimClassic
Paperboy
Posts: 26
Joined: 4 Jun 2008

Nice one. Haha! What can I say; I LOLed.

Sir_Montague
Muckraker
Posts: 315
Joined: 6 Oct 2008

Who is Michael Atkinson? Saw his name at the end of the show... Jw!

Nohra
Paperboy
Posts: 34
Joined: 9 Aug 2008

Pretty much sums up my experience with the first game.

Why I played it through, I have no idea. Probably the same reason I played Pariah through, just to be done with the shit so I could uninstall it.

Armor that turns into swiss cheese in a few shots from an enemy, forcing you to devote about 66% of your weight and inventory spaces to spare armor, guns that go through their durability faster than a real M249 can destroy its barrel during sustained fire, AND an endurance system that's affected by all this weight you HAVE to carry to remain functional is just sagfzjklhfglzkjhflkghzdfgehntaaryISHIUSHGWSIHHGILEQTPITG

Nohra
Paperboy
Posts: 34
Joined: 9 Aug 2008

johnman:
A shame about clear sky, but there are some excellent mods which improve your accuracy, lowers the enemy's and makes them easier to kill. I loved the first game and was very disappionted by clear sky

That shit shouldn't be required to make the game playable. :|

Doom 3 didn't -need- the flashlight mod to make it playable (may have for some people, but pretty much every enemy provided its own light one way or another, and certain weapons played the role of "torch in the dark," which I felt added to the atmosphere well), but enemies who act like they have NVG, perfect aim, and you can't take so much as a lovetap without death, well...

JaseMorris
Anonymous Source
Posts: 6
Joined: 28 May 2008

Yahtzee is, once again, bang on the money. I like difficult and I like atmospheric, and ess tee ell kay ee arr has both in spades - but the difficulty is SO extreme as to be a piss take. He's not exaggerating, you can empty a magazine into an enemy's face (provided it doesn't jam after 2 bullets), and it won't even sting, whereas he can take you clean out with a couple of bullets from 1/2 a mile away - I know most games are unrealistically biased, but so is this, but biased the OTHER way . What is particularly annoying is, that behind the bugs and ridiculous difficulty, is a top hole game.

The66Monkey
Paperboy
Posts: 36
Joined: 22 May 2008

fantastic review!

kommando367
Paperboy
Posts: 19
Joined: 9 Oct 2008

i'm speechless

DiddyWolf
Anonymous Source
Posts: 2
Joined: 15 Oct 2008

Is it bad that I think I recognize that fursuit?

Muphin_Mann
Copy Clerk
Posts: 91
Joined: 4 Oct 2007

I lovde the face in the explosion at 1:38.

ripper_hugme
Paperboy
Posts: 16
Joined: 23 Jan 2008

Sir_Montague:
Who is Michael Atkinson? Saw his name at the end of the show... Jw!

He's the head of Australian 'Censorship everything for no good reason League' (also known as the classification board).

I thought he would mention the very broken English of the dialogue, still very funny none the less hey buddy good times.

Also WTH is with the pothead Freedom bartender? That's the sort of thing I thought the classification board of Australia would stomp on. But I guess you can't actually smoke 'herb' in game as opposed to say using morphine like in Fallout 3(which is what caused censorship of drug names in all versions).

TheZaius
Paperboy
Posts: 21
Joined: 7 May 2008

WTF, Hulk Hogan!?

Funny review.

OuroborosChoked
Press Junketeer
Posts: 454
Joined: 20 Aug 2008

Finally, a return to form! :D

L.B. Jeffries:
STALKER is based on an artsy Russian film about a mysterious zone that has a hidden room in it that fulfills a person's wishes. The whole thing is very philosophical and mostly involves 3 guys walking around Chernobyl's wasteland. The idea is that it's all a metaphor for Russia's collapsed attempt at being a super po-

GONZO!!!1!! GONZO BITCHES!!!! BAHAHAAHAHAHAH!!!!

The film you're referring to is a Tarkovsky film and it hardly has anything in common with the game. The Zone in the film isn't radioactive. It's subject to random gravitational anomalies (never explicitly explained). Also, nobody lives in the Zone, unlike the game.

Skweebl
Anonymous Source
Posts: 4
Joined: 10 Oct 2008

A few good gags in this one. I really liked the crashing part. I've been having computer problems so I was genuinely getting pissed before I realized it was a joke because I thought my computer locked up yet again >:(

Michael_McCloud
Beat Writer
Posts: 161
Joined: 20 Mar 2008

Cid SilverWing:
01:26 - Please explain why you referenced furries.

*sigh* I was afraid someone would get butthurt about this.

You see, there's a thing called humor. One aspect of this newfangled concept is called stereotyping. It's generally found to be hilarious, except to those with no sense of this mysterious idea.

Put short: It's a joke. May be somewhat mean to the furries, but I honestly think that only a handful really care. Hell, I laughed at it. Now here's a smiley sticker. Come back when you're old enough to have a proper sense of what's funny.

Michael_McCloud
Beat Writer
Posts: 161
Joined: 20 Mar 2008

And now, for my comment.

I thought that this was one of the best yet, the glitches in particular were awesome. Though I'm still not sure what he was referencing with the whole "And whistled for a baboon" part.

Either way, Yahtzee always fails to disappoint.

-Eq

FuZionDCA
Paperboy
Posts: 13
Joined: 3 Nov 2007

"Reality is a cruel & unintuitive place" ... Quote of the year!

And this is such an awesome ending. Faaaaaaantastic stuff Yahtzee, how the shit do you come up with so much new stuff?

PS: Thanks Escapist for cutting out the ads. Very much appreciated. All we need next is iTunes podcast subscription of your videos & of course higher res ones ;-)

MrBrightside919
Copy Clerk
Posts: 118
Joined: 2 Oct 2008

that crashing joke really caught me off guard and it was sooooooo funny....

Best ZP review in a while. I loved it...

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