Postal: The Movie Coming in May

To the delight of theater-goers worldwide, Postal: The Movie is now set for a big-screen release on May 23.

Based on the cult classic videogame by Running With Scissors, Postal: The Movie has been circulating through small film festivals and preview screenings for the past year. According to director Uwe Boll, the full release of the movie was delayed as a result of litigation involving the New York Post and the movie's "outrageous opening scene spoofing 9/11."

"Frankly, we're ecstatic that a release date has been set, and to have Universal behind it is all the sweeter," said Running With Scissors CEO Vince Desi, who also appears in the movie. "We've been working overtime developing Postal 3 for PC and console and our fans have been waiting to see this movie for a long time now."

Commenting on the movie's release date coinciding with that of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Boll said, "We will go out and destroy Indiana Jones at the box office!" Boll is known throughout the industry for his work in adapting videogames to movies, having directed titles including Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, and In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale.

Postal: The Movie stars Zack Ward as "Postal Dude," along with Kids in the Hall alumni Dave Foley, Verne "Mini Me" Troyer, Larry Thomas of Seinfeld Soup Nazi fame, and respected character actor J.K. Simmons. The movie is rated R for extremely crude humor, strong sexuality, graphic nudity, violence, pervasive language and drug use. And if that's not enough for you, head over to www.postal-themovie.com for more.

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Uwe Boll destroy Indy at the box office? Don't make me fucking laugh.

well that looks completely tasteless...but I wont deny it a brief chuckle did let itself slip while watching the preview. It does look like Meet the Spartans meets Team America though, so I doubt itl be anything but crap with a few cheap laughs thrown in.

Cousin_IT:
well that looks completely tasteless...but I wont deny it a brief chuckle did let itself slip while watching the preview. It does look like Meet the Spartans meets Team America though, so I doubt itl be anything but crap with a few cheap laughs thrown in.

To be fair, Team America was designed as a B-movie.

Alone in the Dark was the absolute worst movie that I have ever seen in a theatre. (the worst DVD I've ever seen was 'Transmorphers' LOL) BloodRayne was absolutely terrible, too (tho, I did like that sex scene - she's a hottie :P ) That director should be shot before he destroys another franchise. How does he keep getting jobs?!

The man is insane after taking too many punches to the face, can't we just leave it at that? ~~

thebobmaster:

Cousin_IT:
well that looks completely tasteless...but I wont deny it a brief chuckle did let itself slip while watching the preview. It does look like Meet the Spartans meets Team America though, so I doubt itl be anything but crap with a few cheap laughs thrown in.

To be fair, Team America was designed as a B-movie.

I liked Team America. But Postal looks like it takes Team America as its main reference (gun-ho yank(s) vs comical mid-east muslims), then throws it in a pop culture blender like Meet the Spartans did with 300 (& all those post Scarey Movie films have). In anycase itl in all likelyhood suck, though itl be the first uwe boll film I might consider seeing just to see how crude, tasteless, offensive & shallow it is.

DeusExMathias:
How does he keep getting jobs?!

There was a /. article about it a while back I think. Apparently through some obscure German film law, he gets like 1/2 his costs paid for by German art subsidies :D and I find myself reading so many bad reviews it makes me want to watch them. Even if he is talentless, he appears to be smart enough (conniving enough?) to turn a dime.

I wouldn't be surprised if Postal ends up being an interesting film - a kind of unselfconscious outsider art because that's what Boll is, a Hollywood outsider.

There's an interesting profile of Boll in the newest GQ. He really comes off as someone who has an enormous talent for both organization and fundraising. My biggest problem with him is that he has an extremely cynical understanding of what a movie is. For him they are an assembly line product created with the intention of being an impulse buy.

What Boll should do, if he wasn't such a narcissist, is to use his considerable production talent to support a gifted filmmaker whose art would never be seen otherwise.

oneplus999:
There was a /. article about it a while back I think.

Close but no cigar.

I have always loved Postal. But I'm more hyped about Postal 3 rather than the film. But both should suit my violent needs.

The trailer looks like it's going for "so bad it's good," with an extra helping of "Bush r dum."

I can't say I'm really waiting for this film. :\

I admit, I laughed a little at the trailer. Who knows? Maybe Uwe Boll makes semi-okay comadys.

On the other hand, their (there?) is no reason in the world that I, or anyone for that matter, need to see Dave Foley's penis.

How does he keep getting money to do this? I mean I thought the German investment loophole he used to make his last few films was closed.

If we ever want video game to movie adaptations to ever be taken seriously or video game story lines to given some credit we need people like Uwe Boll producing the excrement like this. Movies often cross the boundary of relative niche markets such as comic books and video games. When crap like what he has created (and assuredly this new pile of dung will be) it can only hurt the chances of other creators trying to convince more major media video games can be art as well. Furthermore, It lowers the cultural bar for all of us. Now I'm not saying we should all listen classical music and watch Masterpiece Theatre for cultural stake, but it sickens me to know at least half of the people who write here could produce a better movie that anything Mr. Boll could with a similar budget. There are hundreds if not thousands of directors out there around the world who I believe are more capable, yet someone like Mr. Boll who has proven themselves time and time again they make poor quality films continues. This is one of the times where I can't stand the idea of, 'sometimes good things happen to bad people.' Please, I ask everyone to not see anything Uwe Boll has ever been involved with. Perhaps capitalism can force this man out making room for more deserving people in an already difficult to break into and saturated careerfield.

I want to thank anyone who took the time read my post. Anytime I hear Director Boll is making another movie I tend to get on a rant as above. I want to note that I have nothing personal against Mr. Boll. He must be a remarkable person to continue to get work, and I would hope being an immense blow hard is merely an act to get more press coverage.

I keep reading this news item as "Portal: The movie" and then spend a brief few seconds trying to work out how on Earth they'd work that one out. (Especially as given Valve's expressed reluctance to turn Half Life into a Movie)

At least I'm not the only one who accidentally read the title as:

'Portal: The Movie'

On topic, please, God, no. Why does Uwe Boll keep getting contracts? We need to see just how much his losses are over his career.

DeusExMathias:
Alone in the Dark was the absolute worst movie that I have ever seen in a theatre. (the worst DVD I've ever seen was 'Transmorphers' LOL) BloodRayne was absolutely terrible, too (tho, I did like that sex scene - she's a hottie :P ) That director should be shot before he destroys another franchise. How does he keep getting jobs?!

Hes a German tax shelter, the Escapist did an article on why people keep investing money into his movies. It's some really convoluted tax loophole.

From boxofficemojo.com for profits and imdb.com for budget:

House of the Dead: cost $7,000,000 in budget, made $10.3 million, for an estimated gain of $3.3 million

Alone in the Dark: cost $20,000,000 in budget, made $8.2 million, for an estimated loss of $12.8 million

Bloodrayne: $25 million budget, made $2.5 million, for an estimated loss of $22.5 million

Therefore, eventually he will run out of money.

I think the German Tax thingy has changed now. Hopefully he'll stop making films.

As for the trailer- I really didn't get it. It's not that I think 9/11 and The War On Terror shouldn't be made into something to laugh at. Team America showed that if you plant your tongue firmly in your cheek, then you can make good comedy out of Korea, the Arab nations, WMDs, the works. With Postal though, the jokes just didn't work.

'How many virgins do we get?'
'I thought it was this many'
'I thought it was that many!'
[The passengers break in and inadvertedly crash the plane]

Mmm, real satirical genius there. :S

I thought he was done already, now the tax laws changed?

Just a quick question. Is there actually a...plot to this film? You know...protagonists, obstacles to overcome...that sort of thing?

Malygris:
Commenting on the movie's release date coinciding with that of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Boll said, "We will go out and destroy Indiana Jones at the box office!"

Bwahahaha! Oh Boll. You crack me up.

Postal is mindless, crude, and fun to play when you are feeling like behaving like a petulant child with a bad temper and a shotgun. It however lacks substance, style, depth or anything else engaging.
On top of this Uwe Boll is a talentless prick.

This will not translate well onto film.

Joe:

oneplus999:
There was a /. article about it a while back I think.

Close but no cigar.

two birds w/ one stone?

forgot it got closed though