First of all, apologies to PurpleRain for the similarities, I hope you take no offense. Second, the question. Which game character would you not want to be? Could be anyone. Good guy, Bad guy, make your pick! Would you rather not be Bowser, because no matter how many times you kidnap the Princess, you can't rape her and in the end Mario WILL beat you no matter what you do. Or would you rather not be Jackie from The Darkness, because he's fuck-ugly and has "giant liqourize twizzlers sprouting from his spine" -Ben Croshaw

Make your pick.

mario - coz then i would know that im an ugly italian whose profession is a plumber. who jumps around all day breaking bricks and rescuing the same princes everyday.

The bad guy, but rather than placing my troops in small groups are certain intervals, make one or two uber groups and annihilate the little bugger.

Pssh. Bowser doesn't have to rape Peach, they're in a consenting relationship. Everyone knows that.
Now Mario? NEVER! All he ever gets is a peck on the cheek after going through heaven and hell over and over.

hmm, isuppose id rather not be the arbiter, from halo 3, not two cause at least your a leader then, but in halo 3 you are and always will be chiefs sidekick

I'd rather not be the people in persona 3, who need to summon their alter ego's by pointing a gun to their head AND pulling a trigger.

I'd really rather not be any one in a 'dating simulator'.

I'd say I would rather not be one of the legions of flimsy guardsman around in any game.
Case in point.

The protagonist in Planescape: Torment. He gets horribly mutilated and killed multiple times but never really dies, pulls his own eyeball out, bites his finger off, and has his guts removed. His REWARD when he finally ends his tortuous cycle of immortality? Going to the Abyss to fight in the Blood Wars with a bunch of insane demons for all eternity. THAT'S THE GOOD ENDING.

Bummer, dude.

When I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you.

I would not like to be not HK-47.
Meatbags.

Can I not be Jack Thompson? Thanks. Not being Jack Thompson rules.

Hoax:
Can I not be Jack Thompson? Thanks. Not being Jack Thompson rules.

No, you have to be Jack Thompson.

I wouldn't like to be a Nameless Headcrab Victim. Becoming a zombie, whilst still being in pain? No thanks.

definitely someone from Silent Hill.

Swenglish:
First of all, apologies to PurpleRain for the similarities, I hope you take no offense. Second, the question. Which game character would you not want to be? Could be anyone. Good guy, Bad guy, make your pick! Would you rather not be Bowser, because no matter how many times you kidnap the Princess, you can't rape her and in the end Mario WILL beat you no matter what you do. Or would you rather not be Jackie from The Darkness, because he's fuck-ugly and has "giant liqourize twizzlers sprouting from his spine" -Ben Croshaw

Make your pick.

Yay! I feel special now.

Me, I would not like to be a husk from Mass Effect. Being stabbed onto those dragons teeth and having all your gooy insides sucked out to be replaced by mechanical parts. Then Shepard comes along and kills you. Oh darn.

Any member of the generic elite team in an Action or First Person Shooter, other than the character the player controls. Because death is just around the corner for these characters. And usually pretty early during some generic disaster that wipes out the entire team except for the main character who must soldier on. Sure, they get a free helicopter, boat, submarine or time machine ride to some exotic location, but what's the fun when they're soon to be shot, blown up, torn to pieces or just go missing, so I would rather pass.

Any Tier 1 unit in any strategy game. Fodder. Early game, sure there's some glory, but by the end of those games the Tier 1 units are usually for fodder, diversion attacks that no one is coming back from, or to sit around in random defensive spots until other more important units either win the game, or you're overrun and they're slaughtered. Creatures that outlive their usefulness and are relegated to suicidal attacks or babysitting unimportant locations, I'm sure it must be fun guarding a corner of a map for the entirety of your life, but count me out.

The escortee in any Escort Mission. Despite being the target of whatever malevolent forces are at work, most of these characters suffer from severe mental and/or physical disabilities. Running into walls, getting stuck on barrels, getting lost, running in front of people shooting are all par for the course for these poor handicapped souls, being among their ranks is not high on my list of dreams.

The Marine in Alien vs. Predator.

Beep... beep... beep... beep beep beep beep-beep-beep-beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepFACE!

propertyofcobra:
Pssh. Bowser doesn't have to rape Peach, they're in a consenting relationship. Everyone knows that.
Now Mario? NEVER! All he ever gets is a peck on the cheek after going through heaven and hell over and over.

he got cake at the end of Mario 64...

On topic, the Shaolin Monks version of Johnny Cage. If I ever seriosuly said "You just got Caged," I'd have to kick my own ass.

Link..or Mario...any one who goes through Hell and back to save some girl who wont even put out after you risk your life to save them, and in their cases, over, and over and over again.

Lara Croft. Because I dont want to be masterbated to.