I would use it in the unlikely event I get trapped in an 'Enrichment Centre' and are forced to perform a series of platform puzzlers using the gun under command of a disembodied voice; only for it later to be revealed that the voice is one of a genocidal AI controlling the facility. In the second situation I would, once again, use the device in order to destroy the enemy and escape.

Or something.

Melaisis:
I would use it in the unlikely event I get trapped in an 'Enrichment Centre' and are forced to perform a series of platform puzzlers using the gun under command of a disembodied voice; only for it later to be revealed that the voice is one of a genocidal AI controlling the facility. In the second situation I would, once again, use the device in order to destroy the enemy and escape.

Or something.

Truly, the most original idea yet.

as a joke i would probably shoot a portal in a public toilet, then shoot another one right above it.

but really i would just use it to travel places faster, maybe the occasional theft.

conqueror Kenny:
make portals.

What he said....duh

Put one on the side of a skyscraper, and then shoot at the feet of random passers-by...

I would place one of the Portals outside the door to the "Big Brother" house, hidden under a copy of Dr Zhivago (because lets face it, non of the brain dead proles that apply for BB are likely to know what a book is); and the exit would be positioned above the grand canyon where I would charge a nice shiny penny to watch the poor buggers fall to a most amusing death when they come out to tell us all how hard it is sitting on your arse for 2 weeks.

Deck-chairs at the ready, and card labeled 1-10.

Well, according to this:

http://www.peripheralarbor.com/A%20Few%20Portal%20Technology%20Application%20Ideas.pdf

The ability to create linked portals allows for two applications of great interest to me, Free Electrical Energy and Free Constant Force. With those two tools in hand it would be easy to cruise around in space and have plenty of energy for whatever it might be needed for.

Hmm, for example I could terraform Venus and have my own planet. It becomes quite possible when you literally have infinite energy to work with.

Everything you'd need to do; spin up the planet to give it a normal day/night cycle, thin it's atmosphere down to Earth like levels, import water, LOTS of water, etc, are all doable when you're thinking with portals!

All these ideas have been said before.

Use the laws of physics to make a rock slam into my local asshole at 2000 KMPH, or put a portal on the floor of my local games store, pour all the games down there, jump through it (It would be linked to where i live, of course...) and never leave my couch again, well, except when i need to do human stuff, like... Finding more Bacon chips.

Get rid of my bed, shoot a portal at the floor and ceiling, then go to sleep at terminal velocity.

Other then that,
Revolutionise spacetravel, by shooting one portal to a sealed room with an airlock and one at the moon.

Free energy, created by an archaic looking, highly complex overunity machine that disguises the portal totally. You know, to piss off all those people at the nobel prize committee.

KiiWii:

Khell_Sennet:
There's already Rule-34 on Portal, it's not a new concept... Although, nobody has mentioned the idea to use a portal to shove his/her head up their own arse, though I've known people to do so without the portal gun :p

BAM. This man deserves some cake.

there is no cake!

KiiWii:
Plant one in the ceiling, one in the floor, and keep passing through them until i reach light speed, then use the propulsion to travel seconds into the future, creating an anomaly where my body occupies the same space twice cause reality itself to fluctuate and break down.

Two words for you: Terminal velocity.

Whats terminal velocity?

I would put a portal on the moon and get free cheese.

clouddyl:
Whats terminal velocity?

A half-decent movie and a kickass unrelated game.

Several things.

One: Place one portal at the bottom of the ocean, place the other on mars. Water on mars! WHAT NOW?

Two: put one at the bottom of the ocean, put the other one... well anywhere. Above a highway, above a pedestrian, my office, whatever.

Three: Put one on the moon and the other below things/people I dont like.

how are people planning on putting one on the moon?
what is the purpose of the goggles?

All this talk of having sex with yourself via portal got me thinking... wouldn't it be impossible? Every time you thrust forward, the orifice in front would move away...

though I suppose oral sex might be possible...

Wow a lot of people like flooding the earth don't they :P

Shoot it into a black hole (After of course I find one and DON'T get sucked into it) and hold the earth ransom

Cut cars in half by opening a portal, pushing the car half way into it, opening a portal somewhere else then shutting them both off

Really upset my stomach by putting one portal on the floor and one on a wall and then sitting inbetween (being careful I don't get cut in half)

Travel to america, set up a portal to a mates house, go back home and set up an exit one. Keep hush about it and free holidays and days out are mine!

Travel to the hottest country set one up, then to the coldest country set one up and and watch lots of lightning

(Very carefully) "Jump" over long distances

Shoot one on my hand and one on my foot and become fairly confused

Set up some floor fireworks and reinact the scene from Back to the Future

Go to Fort Knox. Put a portal inside and go back to my house. After closing hours are over, I'd make the other portal and jump in, ending up in Fort Knox. Then I would take a good amount of gold and put it through the portal back to my house (which is out of the state that Fort Knox is in). That way they wouldn't be able to track me. Of course I'd wear a mask the whole time though so they couldn't use my face to catch me.

Khell_Sennet:

clouddyl:
Whats terminal velocity?

A half-decent movie and a kickass unrelated game.

and a term in physics when the mass of an object prevents it from moving any faster, which is why we cannot reach the speed of light

BrunDeign:
Go to Fort Knox. Put a portal inside and go back to my house. After closing hours are over, I'd make the other portal and jump in, ending up in Fort Knox. Then I would take a good amount of gold and put it through the portal back to my house (which is out of the state that Fort Knox is in). That way they wouldn't be able to track me. Of course I'd wear a mask the whole time though so they couldn't use my face to catch me.

Because I'm sure no one would notice a giant orange or blue portal in the wall for days while you head home to make the other one. Also I'm fairly certain they wouldn't let you into the room with the gold to make a portal in the first place... haha

Finally, an opportunity to make my idea for sattelite-based chicago-style-pizza delivery chain a reality!

Sib:

Khell_Sennet:

clouddyl:
Whats terminal velocity?

A half-decent movie and a kickass unrelated game.

and a term in physics when the mass of an object prevents it from moving any faster, which is why we cannot reach the speed of light

there's also the context of terminal velocity in atmosphere - the point at which air resistance is enough to prevent further acceleration.

You hit Terminal Velocity pretty quickly on Earth, because our atmosphere is fairly dense stuff.

Whobajube:

Because I'm sure no one would notice a giant orange or blue portal in the wall for days while you head home to make the other one. Also I'm fairly certain they wouldn't let you into the room with the gold to make a portal in the first place... haha

Good point.

Hm...

Oh I know! I'd shoot a portal on the ground directly in front of the entrance to the Empire State Building. Then I'd go up to the top and then I'd shoot a portal on the topmost part of the wall (by hanging slightly over the edge) facing my original portal. Then I'd throw all sorts of things in the original portal from the top of the building and see how far and how fast they shoot out of the second portal. That would be awesome.

I would make a connection between the virtual and the real world.

What chaos it would be.

BrunDeign:

Whobajube:

Because I'm sure no one would notice a giant orange or blue portal in the wall for days while you head home to make the other one. Also I'm fairly certain they wouldn't let you into the room with the gold to make a portal in the first place... haha

Good point.

Hm...

Oh I know! I'd shoot a portal on the ground directly in front of the entrance to the Empire State Building. Then I'd go up to the top and then I'd shoot a portal on the topmost part of the wall (by hanging slightly over the edge) facing my original portal. Then I'd throw all sorts of things in the original portal from the top of the building and see how far and how fast they shoot out of the second portal. That would be awesome.

that would be pretty rad, haha... and also destructive! Bonus!

Id use it to get into a bank vault and get some cash then leave without being noticed..lol

I'd fire one on a sky scraper, and fire the other at random pedestrians feet.

OK I have never played that game portal before (shame on me) so I have a question about how the game works...

If you shoot a portal inside a portal does it

a. open a portal on whatever it hits inside the portal
or
b. distort all reality as we know it and land us in some weak sci-fi situation that I can only best describe as The Mist?

Glitches are cool:
Reenact a certain Sparta. Infinite loop a hated one's ass, catapult them into the sky.

That's it. I had a witty comment but I think I'll just second that, enough said.

Fast travel would be rad, as the Portal energy projection travels at an arc.

Either that or to create some strange situations, like one in the bottom of a river, and the next on the side of a bridge.

Random amusement would be a good way to put the second one.

Also. Infinite fall thing would be cool to try

1. Seal off some room at NASA.
2. Fire blue portal in said room.
3. Go outside and fire orange portal up into the sky.
4. Wait however long it takes for the portal to land on a portal-able surface.
5. When it happens, don a spacesuit.
6. Go exploring.

That, or make walking obsolete. I think it'd be fun to cross the quad in under a second :).