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When I Grow Up, I Want To Be....

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SwiftVengeance1224
BANNED
Posts: 371
Joined: 13 Mar 2008

Seeing as a lot of video games these days involve NPCs and their various goings on, I was just wondering about the jobs that some NPCs have. There is a huge amount of work out there in the virtual job market and I want a share! Personally I think that being a guard in any RPG would be a hell of a lot of fun as you get:

-Good pay
-Good armour
-Get to bring the law to those bloody adventurous types
-Send skooma addicts and tobacco dealers to the slammer
-Free dental (?)
-The ladies love a man in uniform, even if said uniform adds 75 pounds to your manly physique and comes off with a huge amount of strenuous activity
-Life expectancy is short with all those angry adventurous types that had the law brought to them as mentioned before, but at least you had a good time!

What in game job would you like to have?

You have to mention the job and the game you got the job from. Other than that, it's all free game.

C'mon, roll with it.

gibboss28
Beat Writer
Posts: 202
Joined: 2 Feb 2008

The guy who sets the stupidly pointless tasks to fetch something from a monster infested cave. no real game just the thought of it makes me laugh. can really be thought of with any RPG game which has an NPC that gives a stupid quest.

- You can have so much fun with messing around with the heroes in question.
- The item you get may have some value to you.. or is infact utter junk you can simply sell on for profit.
- You could infact set up a bet with a few of the other guys in the town/village on if they are getting back or not just for laughs.

Copter400
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1392
Joined: 14 Sep 2007

Goomba. I hear they get free dental.

Another
Paperboy
Posts: 47
Joined: 19 Mar 2008

I want to be the items dealer in those RPG's where the item dealer is always the same person. Think of all the money from potions. As far as from which game. Final Fantasy since the item dealers all appear to be the same person. Its like the ultimate monopoly.

gibboss28
Beat Writer
Posts: 202
Joined: 2 Feb 2008

Copter400:
Goomba. I hear they get free dental.

Of course.. when they get squashed the main thing they're worried about is their teeth... 0.o

TheNecroswanson
PROBATION
Posts: 2363
Joined: 29 Nov 2007

Copter400:
Goomba. I hear they get free dental.

And apparently Koopa Troopas don't get paid.

User was put on probation for: My girlfreind is so damn annoying!. (3 days)
gibboss28
Beat Writer
Posts: 202
Joined: 2 Feb 2008

They don't get paid!? my god... thats just... hah! stupid koopa troopas. they get what they deserve!

GenHellspawn
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 562
Joined: 1 Jan 2008

Enclave Guard. Just look at your boss!!

image

sammyfreak
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1502
Joined: 5 Dec 2007

I wanna be a trash-mob in a WoW raid dungeons, spend my entire life patroling back and forth, only attacking enemies in a certain range and then get mowed down by a group of sods with full epic gear.

propertyofcobra
Press Junketeer
Posts: 429
Joined: 17 Oct 2007

Hmm... I want to be a soldier in FarCry. Imagine it, having an eyesight that's four digits on both sides of the slash (I mean, how the fuck can you otherwise spot someone behind a rock, four kilometers away?), rock-steady extremely perfect aim with every weapon imaginable (how else could you HIT said person, the very same microsecond you see him?). And you get to kill this one moron in a hawaii shirt over and over and over and over and over as he quickloads his sorry ass off.
Of course, apparently you need to get a homing device put in your ass, so there's that for the downside.
And the...experimentation thing. I suppose.

VRaptorX
Muckraker
Posts: 272
Joined: 6 Mar 2008

one of those secret ninja villagers from the secret ninja village noone knows about. Yes that was a bit redundant but your pathetic non-ninja brasins won't comprehend the comprehensivability of the conversation with a ninja yu don't know exists.

That and....you see the way the female ninjas dress in these games? I'm in love.

*grabs Shina, Zelos style*

Khell_Sennet
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2458
Joined: 25 Jan 2008

Hands down, if I were a game NPC I'd want to be a sorcerer from Neverwinter Nights, or any other Forgotten Realms title.

If allowed to be a player character, I'm stuck between Spyro and Vivi from FF9.

Anarchemitis
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2667
Joined: 23 Dec 2007

Typical absent-minded professor that doesn't die. Like Kleiner. Or a master gentleman theif, like Trilby 2, except I look like my avatar, save I need a Fedora.

Darth Mobius
PROBATION
Posts: 3325
Joined: 26 Feb 2008

Pirate or any other type of sailor... Not really familiar with a bunch of sailing games, but yeah, any of them as long as I get to shoot or stab people with my nice sword... And shoot at them with my cannons. Yep, good times.

User was put on probation for: My girlfreind is so damn annoying!. (3 days)
mshcherbatskaya
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1706
Joined: 1 Feb 2008

I'd like to be the mentor NPC who teaches the main character how to fight with whatever weapon in whatever style, dumps a bunch of exposition, "I have never told you, but your father was the legendary blah blah blah..." then sends the kid of into the world. "Have fun storming the castle!" Then go back inside and have a nice cup of tea.

wilsonscrazybed
Red Guard
Posts: 1368
Joined: 16 Dec 2007

I'd like to be a Grue.

> what is a grue?
The grue is a sinister, lurking presence in the dark places of the earth. Its favorite diet is adventurers, but its insatiable appetite is tempered by its fear of light. No grue has ever been seen by the light of day, and few have survived its fearsome jaws to tell the tale.

Copter400
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1392
Joined: 14 Sep 2007

TheNecroswanson:

Copter400:
Goomba. I hear they get free dental.

And apparently Koopa Troopas don't get paid.

Yeah, it's volunteer work. Suckers...

The_Toe_Bighter98
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 722
Joined: 22 Mar 2008

I think I would like to be the person who gets to tell Mario that the princess is in another castle. Just the look on his face... priceless. But I sure hope it isnt the VG Cats version of Mario, as the children would be traumatized.

Torchlyte
Paperboy
Posts: 19
Joined: 23 Mar 2008

On the other hand, Koopa Troopas rarely die. They just shrink into their shells while the Goombas have to take real hits.

SwiftVengeance1224
BANNED
Posts: 371
Joined: 13 Mar 2008

I want to be.....
A LUMBERJACK!

Oh I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay! I drink all night and I work all day!
He's a lumberjack and he's okay! He-

*Sorry, couldn't resist.*

I think being that Turian shopkeep from the Citadel Market District in Mass Effect would be cool.

-You just sit there in a never ending argument with a human who wants to return something.
-You also get to fuel the man's anger by implying the man is racist and thinks that all Turians look the same
-And best of all, free dental (?)

ZenMonkey47
Beat Writer
Posts: 161
Joined: 10 Jan 2008

I'd be a Pokemon trainer. Seems like you can make a good living (somehow) by capturing and forcing these lil critters to fight in publicly sanctioned cockfighting. Not to mention free health care for you and your Pokemon

silentsentinel
Copy Clerk
Posts: 102
Joined: 16 Mar 2008

ZenMonkey47:
I'd be a Pokemon trainer. Seems like you can make a good living (somehow) by capturing and forcing these lil critters to fight in publicly sanctioned cockfighting. Not to mention free health care for you and your Pokemon

Yeah, that would be good. And look at how much money those guys make...

Indigo_Dingo
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3959
Joined: 30 Jan 2008

I wouldn't mind being my Rock Band Avatar. I get paid to get up there and sing other peoples awesome songs and whip the crowd into a frenzy. It would be great. Or at least it will have would have been good if the f**king thing ever comes out.

Kellsan
Anonymous Source
Posts: 7
Joined: 23 Mar 2008

I'd be Samus Arans sentient bio-armor.
Loads of adventure, attached to one of the hottest and most bad ass, no pun intended, bounty hunters ever, meet new and interesting creatures, and shoot them.
And of course there are the obvious perks, pun intended ^-^

Failing that I'd want to be an escort mission NPC in WoW or some other MMORPG: just sit around and wait for people to come get me, then drive them insane by either:
A) walking at a very leisurely pace through a prison full of soon to respawn baddies.
B) Run up to and fight EVERY baddie I could detect in any way, knowing the players would do all in their power to protect me, then afterwards return to the point of my walk where I ran off from, and continue my walk.
C)Simply run like my butt was on fire, disregarding how many baddies I'd attract.

or D) all of the above.

Then once I'm finally taken to my drop off point, I'd go back and wait for the next lot.

Minky_man
Copy Clerk
Posts: 71
Joined: 22 Mar 2008

I want to be the person that polishes the important items to a shine in Resi Evil games. If it weren't for that person, so many people wouldn't see that tiny black key on that high black shelf.

Mechalynx
Paperboy
Posts: 14
Joined: 23 Mar 2008

I'd like to be the person that randomly drops ammo and medkits in TR games.

TheFishIsSad
Paperboy
Posts: 27
Joined: 23 Mar 2008

Any shop owner in any game, they seem to have an infinte stock of items and money for when people sell things to you. And yet, they STILL can't afford their daughter's medicine (I must have given that guy at Nalbina in FFXII well over 500'000 gil and he still needs more money to buy medicine? What the hell's this medicine made of, Jesus' damned blood or something?)

Jak008
BANNED
Posts: 38
Joined: 6 Feb 2008

Monty Python! awesome...

Jak008
BANNED
Posts: 38
Joined: 6 Feb 2008

I wish i wish i was a fish!
no, seriously, i wish i could be gLad0sīs baker! Cake is yummy!

Duck Sandwich
Press Junketeer
Posts: 485
Joined: 13 Dec 2007

I want to be, the very best
Like no one ever was
To catch them is my real test
To train them is my cause

I will travel across the land
Searching far and wide
Each Pokemon, to understand
The power that's inside

Pokemon! Gotta catch 'em all (it's you and me)
I know it's my destiny
Pokemon! Oh, you're my best friend
In a world we must defend

Pokemon! Gotta catch 'em all (our hearts so true)
Our courage will pull us through
You teach me and I'll teach you
Pokemon! Gotta catch 'em all
Gotta catch 'em all
Pokemon!

Goldberg1111
Anonymous Source
Posts: 5
Joined: 25 Mar 2008

^Win for the above (it really made me laugh).

Gray Fox on MGS.

The_Logician19
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 566
Joined: 7 Mar 2008

Dante from the Devil May Cry series.

I get to kill as many demons as I want, and I regenerate instantly. Not to mention I've got a badass demon form, and a bunch of cool guns. Hoo yeah.

Apologies abound.

Smiles
Copy Clerk
Posts: 89
Joined: 7 Mar 2008

an assassin from assassins creed, killing people without consequence, mmmm...

Indigo_Dingo
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3959
Joined: 30 Jan 2008

Agent 47. Get to kill gormless fuckwits who deserve it and get paid hundreds of thousands per. If I can just plant a small camera on someone to check out the layout, I can do it without dieing.

Plus, no Fathers or Mothers day gifts.

thebobmaster
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 5385
Joined: 28 Nov 2007

Lara Croft's plastic surgeon.

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