Khell_Sennet:
As an NPC I'd want to be a Mr Johnson for Ares Macrotech or Saeder Krupp in the Shadowrun 'verse.

Sign me up for a prime runner. Thats me in the middle of a crater with the milspec power armor and a panther cannon.

I'd be that random guy that gives you a really pain in the ass quest that takes you hours to finish, only to reward you with a completely randomass, mostly pointless, but hilarious item. But I'd be reaaally dark and mysterious throughout the whole process.

I would be the guy who gets escorted through a mission or quest I would be a total douchebag and take the most convoluted and dangerous route walking backwards very slowly the whole time

Or maybe I would be a Fast Zombie. Let's face it, the normal zombie is fun to smack around and Poison Zombies are gross and have the really creepy headcrabs but the Fast Zombie is the most freaky zombie in Half Life 2. How they look and the whooping noise along with the 'eyyyyarrrgh!' shout when they attack. Nightmare Fuel, plain and simple.

i wold be 1 of the npc's like barney from hl2, who help out alot and give u lectures for losing ur crowbar all the time and having 2 give u new ones.

I'd be that completely badass NPC that you see wipe out entire platoons of enemies with virtually no effort, and you think "Wow, I bet he joins my party eventually," BUT I NEVER DO. Instead, I decide to go my own way and kick ass away from your lameness. However, at the end of the game when the super-baddy is about to destroy the world, and the party is on its knees, I'll show up and sacrifice myself to give them the strength to save the world. People will cry hysterically in that final scene.

It's a total cliché, and I want to be it.

I'd just live in a house and not care when the hero strolls in and loots everything.

Or I'd be a skull and pile of bones in the lair of a boss monster.

The dumbass AI escortee/partner you get in those escort missions where the escortee has a weapon and is really aggressive but very frail, and has terrible pathing.

I am the bane of FPS

id be an epic boss in world of warcraft the kind that takes 50 people to kill.

Two possibilities:

1) One of the guys in the biggest city who doesn't do anything and who nothing happens to.

2) Basically Eli Vance.

id be the NPC who fights with you in a FPS. your standing over there behind cover? ok ill go stand in front of you so i can shoot the other guys. BANG! "ow, why do you keep shooting me?" well screw you for killing me when i wanted to see the inside of your gun barrel, restart the mission, now!

FUCK YOU!!!!!!! goes the player

I'd be the avatar asking why are you playing this game and question your rationality or the one slaps you for playing WoW.

easy. if you come 3 feet near me i would stab you with a 12 foot blade and make you watch me eat you

hahahaha, adoring fan

Player: 'Hey'
Me: 'Welcome to (insert city name here)'
Player: 'So, whats sup?'
Me: 'Welcome to (insert city name here)'
Player: 'Urgh...'
Me: 'Welcome to (insert city name here)'

Easily the NPC who contains valuable, story boosting information, but you dread talking to because the act of clicking on my name results in 10+ dialogue boxes of random nonsense inbetwix the relevant information you're seeking.

I'd be one of those Rainbow guys from R6:LV.

'cept for the fact that I'd heal the team leader should he ever get shot, instead of leaving him to reload from checkpoint.

Murray The Mighty Demonic Skull from monkey islands, quick witted, talented, and enormously able ... but at the end of the day just a useless bloody talking skull!

I'd be an alligator in Red Alert 2.

I would be Random Super Mook #2 in a small but unbeatable boss fight early on. The PC will eventualy kill the boss that i was accompanying but he will be much weaker and my and Mook 1 will be nowhere in sight.

I'd probably one of those NPCs that give you a vehicle of some sort, be it a hovercraft or airship or whatnot.

I'd be one of the wandering tattooists in Fable, but with the ability to join the main character and kick bandit arse for a price.

Ah, so many choices, so difficult...

I'd probably be Xan from Baldur's Gate, I think I could pull off that level of utter hopelessness if I try hard enough :P.

Or if he doesn't count, since you can kind of play him as a party member, then Noober, also from BG, in Nashkel:

"The people in town say I'm annoying"

"They throw rocks at me. Are you going to throw rocks at me?"

I can't remember how many times I killed him, but it was worth it.

I'd be one of those no-name guards that appear in various games. Walk in a looped path all day, never-ever bother to look behind me, stop now and then to look at the sky... and always have that Instant Kill move I can use on the "hero" if he ticks me off, even if he's already maxed his lvl and beat the hell-spawn boss who's been holding my countrymen in terror for years. Yeah, that'd be the life.

Kind? Definitely one of the over-powered characters in an RPG you just recruited, so I could lounge around killing Lv.30 hydras by extending my pinkie-toe.

For a specific... Alex from Golden Sun, what a pimp!

I'd be that dog in Link's Awakening for the GB that bit Link when you hit it with the sword. Yep, I wanna bite Link's ass. That's kinda weird. . .

how about...the driver in those rail shooter sections.

"whoaahh!!"
"watch out!!"
"nice shot!!"
"shoot that log!!!"

"Rather than offer you the illusion of free choice, I will take the liberty of choosing for you... if and when your time comes round again. I do apologize for what must seem to you an arbitrary imposition, Dr. Freeman. I trust it will all make sense to you in the course of... well... I'm really not at liberty to say. In the meantime... this is where I get off."

I wanna be the guy that says "ACTION" "RELOAD" "DANGER" in the old Time Crisis games, then throw them for a loop and randomly say "PORRIDGE"

I'd be a flavour NPC in a shop or something.

Minky_man:
I wanna be the guy that says "ACTION" "RELOAD" "DANGER" in the old Time Crisis games, then throw them for a loop and randomly say "PORRIDGE"

crap! what do i do? he told me to "porridge". damnit i dont know! maybe i should look for the porridge? is it behind that window? oh no"danger"?! ope, im dead. nice job porridge guy going and getting me killed. you suck.

You remember in Oblivion there were those guys who would walk around the block, meet each other, start talking in ridiculous scripted language: "They say that when you murder someone, the dark brotherhood visit you in your sleep. It's how they recruit new members." Then they walk around the block again and say exactly the same thing. Repeated ad-nauseum.

Yep, that'd be me.

ummmm obvious one incoming

in a game where cats rule and the player is trying to do something (i dunno maybe he is a assassin)

and i randomly appear and take potshots at him with my sniper rifle

I AM ERROR

Or a Legend of Zelda chicken.