windfish:
Zero Punctuation comments should be locked after 250 comments - by that time, every new point and counterpoint about the actual game or review has been made. By that time, at least 5 new people who joined Escapist Forums just to comment on ZPs has been booted because they think that Escapist Forums is a place for bad spelling, multiple exclamation points, and Caps Locks

That ain't gonna happen.

Flame-wars = Traffic
Traffic = Adverts
Adverts = Money
Money = More of ZP and Escapist

Just don't read the comments.

Only one kind of threads winding me up, and they get fucking spammed all over.

"s0denone had sex with my daughter"

I know that it's absolutely inexplicable, but Coke vs. Pepsi. I've seen a couple of those here. Holy hell... has anyone, after reading that, said, "Wow, I've been getting my sugar the wrong way!"

I think these fucking threads are the worst ones.

Anything discussing Jack Thompson. If we don't think about him he'll go away - like Freddy Kreuger.

"Why do people like this game so much?" threads bother me, as do "I wish they would stop making games like this."

Any thread topic based on the inherent idea that the poster's likes/dislikes should be shared by all, and the poster cannot fathom why this is not the case (basic case of sociopathic thread creation). It saddens me that this is not a rare occurrence.

Otherwise I'm not too bothered by most types of posts. I don't share the same dislike for "repeat"'s or "old topics" that many others seem to (in fact, I find those that need to point out that a topic is a repeat or old to be far more annoying). Also, it doesn't bother me that someone would like to continue discussing a topic others feel already depleted of any new areas to pursue. If I grow tired of a thread, I stop reading it. I have no problem with letting those still interested have their fun.

JakubK666:

windfish:
Zero Punctuation comments should be locked after 250 comments - by that time, every new point and counterpoint about the actual game or review has been made. By that time, at least 5 new people who joined Escapist Forums just to comment on ZPs has been booted because they think that Escapist Forums is a place for bad spelling, multiple exclamation points, and Caps Locks

That ain't gonna happen.

Flame-wars = Traffic
Traffic = Adverts
Adverts = Money
Money = More of ZP and Escapist

Just don't read the comments.

Agree on principle. It's just that when the ZP commentators start leaving those comments threads and trying to infect the rest of the board with their incompetence, well...

Sylocat:

JakubK666:

windfish:
Zero Punctuation comments should be locked after 250 comments - by that time, every new point and counterpoint about the actual game or review has been made. By that time, at least 5 new people who joined Escapist Forums just to comment on ZPs has been booted because they think that Escapist Forums is a place for bad spelling, multiple exclamation points, and Caps Locks

That ain't gonna happen.

Flame-wars = Traffic
Traffic = Adverts
Adverts = Money
Money = More of ZP and Escapist

Just don't read the comments.

Agree on principle. It's just that when the ZP commentators start leaving those comments threads and trying to infect the rest of the board with their incompetence, well...

Prehaps if one of your first 5 posts are in the ZP comments section than you cannot acces the rest of the board.

Anyway I really do hate those "who is the best boss" or "What is the best game" threads. Why the hell do you want to know why Jim for Alabama thinks that Gannon is the best boss ever.

Threads dedicating to retarded arguments (read; console wars or who really won WWII) also piss me off.

My first big bete noire would have to be the "who's the best villain/hero/sidekick" because it almost inevitably devolves into people who liked Final Fantasy VII saying "Sephiroth/Cloud/Vincent" and people who didn't like FFVII saying "no, you stupid fanboy". The latter almost invariably counters with Kefka/Locke/Terra, and then the topic dies, which sucks because it would be an interesting topic.

If we're going to do "best (anything)" topics, we need to define what we mean by best, or worst, and would need to start backing up our statements with evidence from the game. If I say that Kefka is the "best" villain, what do I mean by best, and why does Kefka fit the bill?

Eye Spider:

"Why [game] is shit/great: a reasoned argument."

"Best [whatever] in games"

"Tell me which game I should buy!"

"I'm loyal to [X] corporation that manufactures gaming hardware and this thread is all about

Waaaaargh games used to be better in the olden days!

Pretty much this.

Also: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.60246

Threads you wish would never show up on gaming forums anymore...

On a sidenote, I just surfed the internets looking for Oblivion-Forums. Found three, each had a 200-Pages Thread called "Pictures of your character" where, at least on the last few pages, everyone just posts pictures of his Wood / Dark Elf with the "Super Big Breasts", " Wicked Weasle Bikini Armor" and "Freakingly large Eyes and Lips" mod installed. Apparently, after 700 hours of playtime, all thats left is switching to third person mode, unzip and...

Seriously, every guy who plays as a girl in an RPG has serious issues.

Did you know there is a mod where you can screw with town guards to lower your bounty?

Anything, ANYTHING, that has a Console X versus Console Y. I mean, I like a good debate, but most people on the internet these days can't even put a cohesive and intelligent sentence together for their point.

It's mostly "Console X has SUPER graphics, Console Y lookz like Turd nuggetz!" or something similar.

windfish:
Zero Punctuation comments should be locked after 250 comments - by that time, every new point and counterpoint about the actual game or review has been made. By that time, at least 5 new people who joined Escapist Forums just to comment on ZPs has been booted because they think that Escapist Forums is a place for bad spelling, multiple exclamation points, and Caps Locks

I think that's a bad idea, as not only will you get people rushing in to post first, you'll get them in trying to be the last to post as well. It'll give rise to 'In before the lock!' posts and the less of those, the better.

Either threads that provoke flame wars, or advertising ones. I've seen some around, and they don't last long.

mine, i'm a menace and should be stopped, you may have even formed a committee to see this happen, i applaud this, put me down for a contribution of $50.

Get the reference or forever wish you had.

To summarize the responses to this thread:
"make no new threads, for we shameless misanthropes don't care for them"

but if that's the case, why is anyone even bothering to respond to the initial question?

threads with titles like "(noun)s that are (adjective)" or "(Noun)s that you think need (verb)ing" or "when (noun)s (verb)!"

Actually, that last one sounds like a freaking awesome TV show.

Eye Spider:

Waaaaargh games used to be better in the olden days!
Or whatever the wording of the thread title, the sentiment is always the same; that todays games don't hold a candle to the pixelated, simplistic, clunky, bedroom-programmed games of yester-generation. Bullshit! We have exponentially more processing power, budgets of millions, teams of hundreds and a maturing industry starting to rival Hollywood that generates progressively more complex, better-looking interactive entertainment with increasingly intelligently-coded AI, a diverse and varying number of visual and narrative styles, and the ability to play simultaneously with more and more people. What you are experiencing here is commonly referred to as "nostalgia" or "rose-tinted-spectacles". Back then, you were younger, you'd seen less. Everything was new. You are remembering the memory as it was then, but that isn't what it is now. With the inevitable exception of a few turkeys here and there, todays games are a vast improvment on the Spectrum/Amiga/Commodore/Amstrad titles of 20 years ago.

epic win, mind if i save this for every future thread along these lines? it says in one paragraph what i would try to beat bluntly out over a page of rage and cusses.

also it has an unintentional orcs reference (unless you meant it, which is double points) which is points in my book.

Eye Spider:

Waaaaargh games used to be better in the olden days!
With the inevitable exception of a few turkeys here and there, todays games are a vast improvment on the Spectrum/Amiga/Commodore/Amstrad titles of 20 years ago.

Seriously...No they're not. Even with all your fancy doo-daws, some of the older ones have bags more playability and replay value.

I have most of them emulated.(Although Speccys doesn't hold a candle to the Glorious c64 Master Race)

And I think Yahtzee "Fantasy World Dizzy" Croshaw agrees.

Anything judging a game on how well it lived up to pre-release expectations.

For Christ's sake judge the game on the game, not what some idiot told you it would be.

Any sort of "who would win" discussion where you take characters from two totally different universes and make them "fight" like Goku and Superman.

Any thread with an unedifying title like "What if . . .?" or "Can someone help me?" or "ZOMG! Look at this!"

What if what? Help you what? Look at what? I should be able to tell from the thread title specifically what the thread is about. Don't count on my curiosity to make me click. I've been burned by stupidity too many times before.

MGG REVIEWS ____
Wait, those can be fun sometimes.

Fire Daemon:
Prehaps if one of your first 5 posts are in the ZP comments section than you cannot acces the rest of the board.

Hmm, good idea. Maybe if your first comments are ZP comments then you have to ask a mod for permission before posting anywhere else on the forums.

Is there a bandwagon for "lol, threads like this thread" that I missed? Oh well.

I'd have to say I wish there were less of the Chicken Little Hysteria threads you see every so often. They're pretty easy to spot, because they have varying degrees of hyperbole like "x fails its customers" or "y screws over the industry" or other thread titles that basically say "I HATES YOU FOREVER" but with less grammatical skill or creativity.

I'm not advocating a forum full of sunshine and roses, but I really don't get the extreme hate you see on them every so often.

OK.....every once in a while someone will burt out the obvious plot twist everyone knows just for kicks. Those annoy me. Really....vader is Luke's father. That isn't anything we didn't already know so don't spam vader, Aerith, princess in another castle, etc.