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What's the dumbest game that you've played?

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shatnershaman
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3206
Joined: 8 May 2008

PurpleRain:

As for dumbest, I'd say Conker. Loads of fun but it was so silly. A squirel pissed off at the world becomes king by fighting through cavemen on surfboards, rock bouncers, cows with a digestive problem, and alien, nazi teddy bears. The list is endless. No real thinking required, just pissing and crapping on the enemy. Good fun.

We need more games like that. (Take the hint Rare and Micro$oft)

HSIAMetalKing
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1557
Joined: 2 Jan 2008

Blue Dragon made me sick to my stomach-- the story was straight out of a kid's cartoon (actually I think they have a Blue Dragon cartoon now...) and the voice acting made me want to kill myself. It was one of those games that actually had me saying: were they -serious- when they released this?

sicDaniel
Copy Clerk
Posts: 123
Joined: 30 Mar 2008

My little brother owns a Gamecube, and he has that game... i forgot the name.
Every Level is built like a giant Pinball machine, but filled with landscape, trees, water and stuff. There are hordes of little enemy soldiers that run down from the top of the screen. At the bottom, you have your own soldiers. And like in a Pinball machine, you can shoot a giant around ball and kill those soldiers. And your own soldiers. But to prevent your own men from being smashed, and thats the "greates" part of the game, you shout commands into a little microphone. Like, Down! Down! Left! Forward!!
Playing that, he looks even dumber than anyone playing Wii.
On top of that, the game is ridiculously hard.

HSIAMetalKing
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1557
Joined: 2 Jan 2008

sicDaniel:
My little brother owns a Gamecube, and he has that game... i forgot the name.
Every Level is built like a giant Pinball machine, but filled with landscape, trees, water and stuff. There are hordes of little enemy soldiers that run down from the top of the screen. At the bottom, you have your own soldiers. And like in a Pinball machine, you can shoot a giant around ball and kill those soldiers. And your own soldiers. But to prevent your own men from being smashed, and thats the "greates" part of the game, you shout commands into a little microphone. Like, Down! Down! Left! Forward!!
Playing that, he looks even dumber than anyone playing Wii.
On top of that, the game is ridiculously hard.

You're talking about Odama-- which is a FATASTIC game, in my opinion. A true gem.

Omnidum
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 937
Joined: 27 Mar 2008

I would say Roller Coaster Tycoon (or something) to Playstation. Go repair that water slide, don't eat the hotdog you [obscurity]ing engineer!

Churchman
Beat Writer
Posts: 176
Joined: 21 Jun 2008

Omnidum:
I would say Roller Coaster Tycoon (or something) to Playstation. Go repair that water slide, don't eat the hotdog you [obscurity]ing engineer!

I think you mean theme park, where putting up signs saying the ride is broken takes bloody longer then the repair of the stupid ride.

Synangel
Copy Clerk
Posts: 66
Joined: 20 Jun 2008

Operation Darkness. that new one by atari. i played it.. and... its a grid turn based... shooter... with magic, and werewolves. uhm, not just that but it seems that every needs to take turns firing there gun as if we are back in the old times of gorilla warfare. it did not make much sense to me while i got to stand there, while the enemy shot at me.

conqueror Kenny
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 4093
Joined: 14 Jan 2008

Burnout. The amount of crashes you can survive without your car breaking down, it's crazy.

slaygore
Beat Writer
Posts: 131
Joined: 6 Mar 2008

conqueror Kenny:
Burnout. The amount of crashes you can survive without your car breaking down, it's crazy.

Not to mention the amount of damage you could cause with 1 single car.

My number 1 contendor has got to be Worms. Basically a game about worms killing each other with weapons of mass destruction. No need for further explaination. The concept is dumb, but works and is insanely addictive.

An honorable mention to Gunbound for having the same idea, but now you're some kid on some living machine (yes it breathes and stuff) killing each other using math and triangularity to do it.

Fusi0n.be
Paperboy
Posts: 29
Joined: 12 Jun 2008

Dead Ball Zone for PlayStation.
It basically was handball with a glowing ball, very lame graphics, and a big amount of violence (apparently, Kicking someone in the groin, shooting someone in the nuts or sawing people in half with a chainsaw is allowed in the good ol' sport 'o handball.)

whyhalothar
Paperboy
Posts: 15
Joined: 21 Nov 2007

Barbie the game

Ryuchitoran
Anonymous Source
Posts: 1
Joined: 23 Jun 2008

There's a few ways I could interpret 'dumb', but I'm just going to assume it means bad.

In my opinion, the worst game ever is definitely Drakken for the SNES.

-Any armor you pick up breaks in just a few hits from any monster.
-There was virtually nothing telling the player in what direction to go
-If you bumped into some random overturned bottle on the ground, a giant panther head would appear and shoot laser beams from it's eyes at you.
-I owned the game, and played it quite a few times and still have no idea what the storyline is. I never even managed to make it halfway into the game iirc.

Youtube example of Drakken: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUDrGypnsnY&feature=related

*quivers in the corner in the fetal position just thinking about playing it again*

assassin869
Anonymous Source
Posts: 2
Joined: 23 Jun 2008

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for the NES. No contest whatsoever. Its like they went "hey lets make a game!" then messed up on some coding at the beginning so that you die instantly and only be able to play for about 10 seconds. Then they said "That's not so bad" and sold it like that.

D_987
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1148
Joined: 15 Jun 2008

Metal gear solid didn't make ann ounce of sense to me (maybe because i've never played earlier versions (only 3 and 4)and I was constantly confused the whole time.

But the dumbest game I've played has to be Spyro the dragon, simply because:

You have to release th dragons from the crystals (by walking into them) and then they just disapear! I was constantly wondering why the massive dragons didn't take charge, that and the evil villen had no possible motive to attack....or am I thinking to deeply into this...

Plays2
Copy Clerk
Posts: 54
Joined: 8 Oct 2007

Can someone ban the obsessive and annoying WOW spammer above me please?

Back on topic, I thought the worst game I have ever played was Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing. That game wasn't even finished and the developers released it anyway...

C4azyMik3
Paperboy
Posts: 12
Joined: 14 May 2008

Well spectrobs is up there, Ninja Gaiden:1 is fun and funny cuz Ryu is the worst ninja ever but hard(why is wildlife chasing him) but I say the first naruto game (even tho naruto is awsome

Freakout456
Copy Clerk
Posts: 82
Joined: 24 Jun 2008

Ir rented the game Amazing Island for the Gamecube thought it would be cool to make my own creature. It wasn't I took it back within a half hour it was so dumb.

Also Superman Returns for the Xbox 360. I thought it would be better then past games it wasn't, but I was bored enough to play it to the end one day and the final boss a tornado that was dumb.

ShadeOfRed
Muckraker
Posts: 293
Joined: 20 Jan 2008

Any Katamri Game. Great fun, but it's just so STUPID. The idea is just completely out there and it makes zero sense.

YuppySlime:

Hahaha, that was pretty funny.

when he starts jumping over angry pigs a damn near lost it.

If anyone wants to see it here's a link http://youtube.com/watch?v=9i2MHLFPsds

OH GOD. Two songs throughout the ENTIRE GAME?

Metalix Knightmare
Paperboy
Posts: 50
Joined: 27 Sep 2007

Tomba. I love that series like family, but the whole thing sounds like a good drug trip. "You control a pink haired kid trying to get his Grandfather's bracelet back from a group of evil color themed pigs that steal gold, and in order to beat the pigs you have to throw them into giant bags. You can get a flying dog, and help a talking monkey, release a tornado to disperse a fog, and help a Dwarf woman fart, among other things."

Great game. VERY weird execution.

ThaBenMan
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1263
Joined: 6 Mar 2008

The dumbest game I've ever played is Dog's Life for the PS2. You're a dog that has to run around and collect bones, and there's a controller command that makes you take a dump. It is a kid's game, but if I were a kid, I think I'd rather play Spyro or something.

J_tayla
Anonymous Source
Posts: 6
Joined: 24 Jun 2008

Halo 3, GTA IV, Need for Speed: Pro Street. thats all I can think of right now, I was not impressed by any of these games

lord kamina
Copy Clerk
Posts: 93
Joined: 24 Jun 2008

my most recent dumb game i have played was GTA IV i felt that it was a chore that i was bill murry in ground hog day repeating the same crap every day I kept thinking what ever happened to those good old days of wacky GTA, I miss those games where you ran over Elvis impersonators and out ran bullets sigh...

Eldritch Warlord
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1310
Joined: 6 Jun 2008

J_tayla:
Halo 3, GTA IV, Need for Speed: Pro Street. thats all I can think of right now, I was not impressed by any of these games

That's pretty harsh, reasons?

My dumbest game is Mario's Time Machine for the SNES. In it Mario has to do something that involves time travel to fix famous historical events (probably because Bowser did something, I don't know). It was meant to teach people about history (and by people I mean 6-10 year-olds). It combined simple platforming (like simpler than World 1-1 of Super Mario Bros.) with insanely difficult point-and-click adventure puzzles. I rented it once (I was 7 I think) and could not beat the very first task. I think I had to make Sir Isaac Newton sit under a tree so he could have the apple fall on him. All I ever figured out was how to walk from the time machine to the tree.

What a terrible dumb game. I rented Aerio the AcroBat after that, it wasn't as bad.

lord kamina
Copy Clerk
Posts: 93
Joined: 24 Jun 2008

Eldritch Warlord:

J_tayla:
Halo 3, GTA IV, Need for Speed: Pro Street. thats all I can think of right now, I was not impressed by any of these games

That's pretty harsh, reasons?

My dumbest game is Mario's Time Machine for the SNES. In it Mario has to do something that involves time travel to fix famous historical events (probably because Bowser did something, I don't know). It was meant to teach people about history (and by people I mean 6-10 year-olds). It combined simple platforming (like simpler than World 1-1 of Super Mario Bros.) with insanely difficult point-and-click adventure puzzles. I rented it once (I was 7 I think) and could not beat the very first task. I think I had to make Sir Isaac Newton sit under a tree so he could have the apple fall on him. All I ever figured out was how to walk from the time machine to the tree.

What a terrible dumb game. I rented Aerio the AcroBat after that, it wasn't as bad.

i remember that one god the art was awful like Mario Is Missing! Another dumb game in my book was sonic raiders yes a character who's only real attribute is speed is riding a hover board I wondered to myself why is he on that thing cant he just run? And that left my mind as I press the off button and put in guilty gear

Mr. Bubbles
Beat Writer
Posts: 169
Joined: 27 Sep 2007

Super Columbine Massacre RPG. Epic fail.

ChristianxKrupps
Copy Clerk
Posts: 79
Joined: 11 Jun 2008

*cough cough*

the suffering

that game was lame beyond belief. its the basic i have amnesia, my family died, and so now im a baddass story to it.

it makes the character a clone of everything that was produced in the 2002-2005 series of gaming.

and it was supposed to be scary.

yeah, to 11 year olds that sleep with a night light.

thanks for wasting my time, PLAYSTATION 2

- ChristianxKrupps apologizes to all Playstation 2s and Sony fanboys for sucking at making scary games

oh, and same goes for Ratchet and Clank. all of them

my girlfriend is also a somewhat gamer and i watched her play it and it was like crash bandicoot meets spyro the dragon. and you collect bolts. yeah, i hated it. it made no sense and the story was LAME

lord kamina
Copy Clerk
Posts: 93
Joined: 24 Jun 2008

ChristianxKrupps:
*cough cough*

the suffering

that game was lame beyond belief. its the basic i have amnesia, my family died, and so now im a baddass story to it.

it makes the character a clone of everything that was produced in the 2002-2005 series of gaming.

agh you just made me remember a god awful game on the ps2 i cant remember the name!!! you used the analog sticks to move the arms god it was so bad I cant think what it was called this will bug me all day

Fret098
Paperboy
Posts: 41
Joined: 21 May 2008

Would have to be halo 2, I never quite got the story line or meh arbiter missons which I just thought was a profound waste of time. Not to mention trying to play multiplayer on Xbox live.... it was like a nightmare but instead of being eaten by zombies or foxes with hats that talk alot like my girlfriend when I havent taken out the trash...its teen boys yelling at you for killing them or calling you a nub if you mess up,or yelling at their mums for somthin or another.

Legion Of Iron
Anonymous Source
Posts: 2
Joined: 21 Jun 2008

Iron Man for the PC.

Gerfo
Paperboy
Posts: 13
Joined: 24 Jun 2008

that's right, no people means no government, therefore, in theory, you win.

this was supposed to be a reply to someone's post about State of Emergency, but I messed it up, like the noob I am :P

Nickolai
Copy Clerk
Posts: 94
Joined: 22 Feb 2008

Evolution Worlds: Cookie cutter story. Lame characters. A main plot point that was resolved within the first three dungeons. And a combat system that blew ass. It wasn't a terrible game, just a stupid one.

The Sims: Yes, yes I know how many people love this game, but I think it's dumb. As in, it's basically life, in videogame form. I made my sim play on the computer. I was playing a videogame to play a videogame. WTF? I play videogames to experience things that aren't in real life.

Harvest Moon: It's farming. But I LOVE this game. I keep thinking how retarded it is that I'm FARMING but I can't stop playing it. It's excellent. Dumb, but excellent.

Asehujiko
Press Junketeer
Posts: 368
Joined: 25 Feb 2008

Anything for either the wii or the ds. Both make me feel like i'm alphatesting something that's supposed to evolve into a mouse over the course of 50 years or so. The fact that all games that come out of them are made for 6 year old kids and their hardware is based on other consoles of roughly the same age doesn't help much. Neither is the fact that all the nintendo fanboys and fangirls arround me who i only socialize with to keep important people happy who for some reason actualy can tolerate them have yet to show me any game where the mouse 0.5 is not tacked on as an afterthought.

As for real games: Halo 2. The story from the first game is based on the fact that to avoid leading the covenant to earth, all ships have to make a blind jump in a random direction when under attack. This works. In the first 5 minutes of the sequel they show up on our planet anyway and they even bring their own capital as well as a second ringworld. 3 will only be Vienna compatible when it comes out on pc so i guess the plot lunacy there will be kept away from me for a few years.

shatnershaman
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3206
Joined: 8 May 2008

Asehujiko:

As for real games: Halo 2. The story from the first game is based on the fact that to avoid leading the covenant to earth, all ships have to make a blind jump in a random direction when under attack. This works. In the first 5 minutes of the sequel they show up on our planet anyway

Its explained in the books.

Stammer
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 740
Joined: 16 Apr 2008

Okay... Do I even need to name this game? I'm pretty sure if anyone's read my previous forum posts they'll know exactly where I'm going with this.

For those of you who joined since I started controlling my hatred for the putrid game, I'll give you some hints. It's an MMO. It's made by a company who's only made about 2 games. It's populated almost entirely by 12-year-old kids. The graphics are about as high quality as the N64. It has absolutely no original content whatsoever. There are a few million people worldwide who play it because it's impossible to get banned from it. Including the first (and currently only) expansion, the game has only 15 songs in its full repertoire. The difference between a high-quality piece of equipment and a normal-quality piece of equipment can mean the difference between 100 damage and 1000 damage hits.

Puke of Fapfap.
Turd of Buttcrak.
WORLD OF WARCRAP, gentlemen.

WoW is hands down the worst video game I've ever played. It's so ridiculously retarded that I can't even begin to describe how bad it is. You think what I wrote up there is "beginning to describe it"? That's not even scratching the surface of the tip of the iceberg.

PedroSteckecilo
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3556
Joined: 7 Feb 2008

Overdose: A gunslingers tale in Mexico

This game is like pure, uncut, hilarious stupid, from the giant boxes with Marijuana leaves on them, to the hero litteraly showing up to a fight carrying every weapon he owns. Funny, but so, so dumb.

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