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What's the dumbest game that you've played?

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Thais
Beat Writer
Posts: 185
Joined: 12 Jun 2008

Wow...no one's mentioned the pain-inducing FFX-2 and that whole stupid "dress sphere" thing...

...does it get less stupid? I keep trying to play for a decent amount of time but I can't do it, I have to stop and go kill things to retain my sanity!

PsiMatrix
Paperboy
Posts: 39
Joined: 4 Feb 2008

I have a God complex:
nope it's my turn to defend halo

with a game so hyped as the halo series no mater the quality of the game it is impossible to live up to the hype. but I find with games like this that the only people who are disappointed are those who want to be and it seems that now making fun of halo is the "cool" thing to do because it makes you different... or he disliked the game for legitimate reasons ( I like to give people the benefit of the doubt)

Not the dumbest but Halo 2 was certainly rushed (the developers words, not mine).

I felt disappointed with all the things they changed to make it better like the lost assault rifle and the pitiful melee damage (that was a fun moment in multiplayer when I bashed someone's head in only for them to turn round and blast me with a shotgun shell in the face), that damned sword, trekking across half a planet of maps only to find out that it was "to be continued" ... that really pissed me off after the big boss fight against Tartarus I expected the chief to have something similar but we got one last cinematic with "Finish this fight".

I actually enjoyed the single-player of Halo 3 though I thought it was a bit short. I'd have liked to had a few more Covenant-based levels but they balanced out the stuff that was lost with new stuff like spike grenades and the hammer. Multiplayer still bites me though but at least you're guarenteed to be able to jump on and find thousands of players wanting the same things.

I'd agree with Red Faction 2. For a good deal of it was a competant shooter, bit lacking on the destroy-all-bits from the first but then did this whole M. Night Shayalaman plot twist about the imperious leader being the one to lead all and the difficulty ramped up so high that I actually stopped playing it.

One of the dumbest I've ever played though was the Splatterhouse games - girlfriend gets kidnapped and the hero dons a Jason-style hockey mask and starts bashing in these wierd creatures from shrieking grotesquaries to hanging babies puking all over you... so dumb, it's retarded.

If we're talking really dumb though, I'd have to go for Yahtzee's opinion on the Mario series - that dumb bitch gets kidnapped so often it's a wonder Mario hasn't just said "Get better guards, I'm a fucking plumber". Great platformers but after kidnapping the princess so many times they just invite the bad guy to play golf or tennis

Stammer
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 708
Joined: 16 Apr 2008

Thais:
Wow...no one's mentioned the pain-inducing FFX-2 and that whole stupid "dress sphere" thing...

...does it get less stupid? I keep trying to play for a decent amount of time but I can't do it, I have to stop and go kill things to retain my sanity!

It actually gets worse as the game goes on...

The Other Steve
Paperboy
Posts: 27
Joined: 24 Jun 2008

It's hard to name the worst game you've ever played, because odds are, either nobody's played it or your opinion is pretty far removed from the average.

Take WoW for example. I would hazard a guess that it's vastly superior to, say, "Bang! Howdy".

Worst game I've played that you've possibly heard of (aside from random internet crap) was probably Sonic Heroes. I'm pathetic enough that I still have hope for the blue bastard. Star Fox Adventures and Gauntlet: Dark Legacy getting honorable mention. Of games you haven't heard of, try playing Super Robin Hood if your a masochist.

I heard Yahtzee likes Dizzy. That kind of made me crack up. Stupid egg and I have quite a history. Original game's worth playing if you're willing to cheat.

mwhite67
Copy Clerk
Posts: 124
Joined: 19 Mar 2008

Half Life 2, what a suckfest that was!

Thais
Beat Writer
Posts: 185
Joined: 12 Jun 2008

Stammer:
It actually gets worse as the game goes on...

Oh good heavens...now I think I'm going to have to go home and haul it out of the "cat frisbee" pile just to see how deep teh suck goes...

Tomoe251
Copy Clerk
Posts: 120
Joined: 15 Jun 2008

The Sailor Moon fighting game on psx. Terrible.

Random argument man
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 739
Joined: 21 May 2008

Stammer:
Okay... Do I even need to name this game? I'm pretty sure if anyone's read my previous forum posts they'll know exactly where I'm going with this.

For those of you who joined since I started controlling my hatred for the putrid game, I'll give you some hints. It's an MMO. It's made by a company who's only made about 2 games. It's populated almost entirely by 12-year-old kids. The graphics are about as high quality as the N64. It has absolutely no original content whatsoever. There are a few million people worldwide who play it because it's impossible to get banned from it. Including the first (and currently only) expansion, the game has only 15 songs in its full repertoire. The difference between a high-quality piece of equipment and a normal-quality piece of equipment can mean the difference between 100 damage and 1000 damage hits.

Puke of Fapfap.
Turd of Buttcrak.
WORLD OF WARCRAP, gentlemen.

WoW is hands down the worst video game I've ever played. It's so ridiculously retarded that I can't even begin to describe how bad it is. You think what I wrote up there is "beginning to describe it"? That's not even scratching the surface of the tip of the iceberg.

Aaahh good old Stammer, Always hating Wow.

But I have to agree with him. Once I hitted the level cap I founded the game was a waste of time. My mind fell for a few months and when I finally got my rationality back, I quitted.

Also I never got the idea of making BOWLING GAMES. (I never got the idea why some people consider this a sport to begin with).
Oh yeah and Phantasy Star Universe...tried it got bored after the 20 min cutscenes.

wewontdie11
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 788
Joined: 28 May 2008

Marble Blast Ultra on my 360, one of the free trial game things.
Surprise surprise you are a marble and you roll around and stuff, and that's about it.

lord kamina
Copy Clerk
Posts: 93
Joined: 24 Jun 2008

lord kamina:

ChristianxKrupps:
*cough cough*

the suffering

that game was lame beyond belief. its the basic i have amnesia, my family died, and so now im a baddass story to it.

it makes the character a clone of everything that was produced in the 2002-2005 series of gaming.

agh you just made me remember a god awful game on the ps2 i cant remember the name!!! you used the analog sticks to move the arms god it was so bad I cant think what it was called this will bug me all day

ah! i remember the name of that crap fest game twin caliber god it sucked

Asehujiko
Muckraker
Posts: 308
Joined: 25 Feb 2008

Stammer:
Okay... Do I even need to name this game? I'm pretty sure if anyone's read my previous forum posts they'll know exactly where I'm going with this.

For those of you who joined since I started controlling my hatred for the putrid game, I'll give you some hints. It's an MMO. It's made by a company who's only made about 2 games. It's populated almost entirely by 12-year-old kids. The graphics are about as high quality as the N64. It has absolutely no original content whatsoever. There are a few million people worldwide who play it because it's impossible to get banned from it. Including the first (and currently only) expansion, the game has only 15 songs in its full repertoire. The difference between a high-quality piece of equipment and a normal-quality piece of equipment can mean the difference between 100 damage and 1000 damage hits.

Puke of Fapfap.
Turd of Buttcrak.
WORLD OF WARCRAP, gentlemen.

WoW is hands down the worst video game I've ever played. It's so ridiculously retarded that I can't even begin to describe how bad it is. You think what I wrote up there is "beginning to describe it"? That's not even scratching the surface of the tip of the iceberg.

Several of your statements are biased, unsupported and completely false.

-Blizzard made much more then 2 games. WoW is infact, the 6th installment of the warcraft series.

-The average age of wow players is 29 years according to blizzard's own statistics.

-The graphics are pretty decent for a 2005 game, purposefully kept low to allow the game to run on more different systems. There are also scrips to greatly improve them, sanctioned by blizzard.

-Visit every single page on www.wowwiki.com and tell me who did it first before using the word "nothing" in any claim.

-It's very possible to get banned. Just try discussing the merits of the Third Reich on the official forums and see what happens.

-Another expansion is in the works and that's alot more then most other games on ther market.

-A quick browse through my game files shows some 500 odd music files. The OST(not including ambient music or anything, just people's and places's theme tunes) of the expansion alone is 21 songs long.

-And how's this any different then the damage diffrence between a pistol and a rocketlauncher.?

-The rest of your post consists of hyperboles of how bad it is with absolutely NOTHing to base them.

-You are sponsored by LOTRO or AOC, we get that, now go spam somewhere else.

aryon984
Anonymous Source
Posts: 5
Joined: 14 Oct 2007

shatnershaman:

My game is a Japanese Pokemon where you called them to fight for you and they could all talk.

Pokemon Diamond if I recall, I just couldn't stop laughing while playing that game... They even swore in it.... A GBA GAME!!! SWEARING!!! lol

anyway, the worst I've played.. Reign of Fire for GBA.

Fronken
Muckraker
Posts: 293
Joined: 10 May 2008

cant remember the full title, but it was a barbie game for the NES, still regret putting in those hours playing through the damn thing..

aryon984
Anonymous Source
Posts: 5
Joined: 14 Oct 2007

Fronken:
cant remember the full title, but it was a barbie game for the NES, still regret putting in those hours playing through the damn thing..

....... shame.

NoTroll
Paperboy
Posts: 13
Joined: 27 Apr 2008

Kingdom Hearts. That game made me vomit uncontrollably.

stevesan
Muckraker
Posts: 297
Joined: 31 Oct 2006

N-Sef:

TheNecroswanson:

N-Sef:
Probably Wolfenstein 3D and by extension early FPS titles. Absolutely no thinking involved.

Did you just compare today's strategy based FPS to the first FPSs ever made? And then deride said older FPS because it required no thinking, MISSING the fact they didn't have such space for proper coding of tactical elements?

Did I? I was just saying the early FPS games were mindless fun, that's all.

Yeah - and we need more of them. I'm all about mind-ful FPS, like Deus Ex. Closest thing to DOOM that I've played recently is Ratchet and Clank.

stevesan
Muckraker
Posts: 297
Joined: 31 Oct 2006

Leisure Suit Larry - Magnum Cum Laude.

The old LSL's were actually legit puzzle games. The recent ones are just..dumb.

MagnetoHydroDynamics
Muckraker
Posts: 277
Joined: 14 Feb 2008

Quake 4... Just a wannabe in every single way...

Bulletcandy... That game has GLITCHES in the fucking MENU! (wich by the way looks like something strait outta' notepad)

Jamash
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 580
Joined: 25 Jun 2008

Sex, on the ZX Spectrum. All you had to do was hammer two keys, it took no skill at all & had a non-existent storyline.

Also How To Be A Complete Bastard was pretty dumb, in a puerile sense, but it was pretty funny though. At one point you had the option of turning off a computer in the house, & if you did it actually reset your computer!

BlackWatch
Paperboy
Posts: 34
Joined: 13 Feb 2008

Asehujiko:

Stammer:
Okay... Do I even need to name this game? I'm pretty sure if anyone's read my previous forum posts they'll know exactly where I'm going with this.

For those of you who joined since I started controlling my hatred for the putrid game, I'll give you some hints. It's an MMO. It's made by a company who's only made about 2 games. It's populated almost entirely by 12-year-old kids. The graphics are about as high quality as the N64. It has absolutely no original content whatsoever. There are a few million people worldwide who play it because it's impossible to get banned from it. Including the first (and currently only) expansion, the game has only 15 songs in its full repertoire. The difference between a high-quality piece of equipment and a normal-quality piece of equipment can mean the difference between 100 damage and 1000 damage hits.

Puke of Fapfap.
Turd of Buttcrak.
WORLD OF WARCRAP, gentlemen.

WoW is hands down the worst video game I've ever played. It's so ridiculously retarded that I can't even begin to describe how bad it is. You think what I wrote up there is "beginning to describe it"? That's not even scratching the surface of the tip of the iceberg.

Several of your statements are biased, unsupported and completely false.

-Blizzard made much more then 2 games. WoW is infact, the 6th installment of the warcraft series.

-The average age of wow players is 29 years according to blizzard's own statistics.

-The graphics are pretty decent for a 2005 game, purposefully kept low to allow the game to run on more different systems. There are also scrips to greatly improve them, sanctioned by blizzard.

-Visit every single page on www.wowwiki.com and tell me who did it first before using the word "nothing" in any claim.

-It's very possible to get banned. Just try discussing the merits of the Third Reich on the official forums and see what happens.

-Another expansion is in the works and that's alot more then most other games on ther market.

-A quick browse through my game files shows some 500 odd music files. The OST(not including ambient music or anything, just people's and places's theme tunes) of the expansion alone is 21 songs long.

-And how's this any different then the damage diffrence between a pistol and a rocketlauncher.?

-The rest of your post consists of hyperboles of how bad it is with absolutely NOTHing to base them.

-You are sponsored by LOTRO or AOC, we get that, now go spam somewhere else.

Lemmie guess ... level 70?

666thHeretic
Copy Clerk
Posts: 85
Joined: 26 May 2008

Test Drive. I bought it from a bin because I had enjoyed one of the sequels ("Eve of Destruction," which reminded me of Burnout), so I mistakenly assumed this one would be worth the price tag. It starts off with a fairly standard "you're a tough black guy who takes NO SHIT WHATSOEVER FROM PEOPLE...who immediately agrees to drive for some crippled British guy in some underground racing thing. I remebre the first level being somewhere between hard and impossible. And on an interesting side note, the game (when I bought it) cost me twice as much as Painkiller and four times as much as Psychonauts. Proof that price tag and quality are completely seperate entities.

Asehujiko
Muckraker
Posts: 308
Joined: 25 Feb 2008

BlackWatch:

Asehujiko:

Stammer:
Okay... Do I even need to name this game? I'm pretty sure if anyone's read my previous forum posts they'll know exactly where I'm going with this.

For those of you who joined since I started controlling my hatred for the putrid game, I'll give you some hints. It's an MMO. It's made by a company who's only made about 2 games. It's populated almost entirely by 12-year-old kids. The graphics are about as high quality as the N64. It has absolutely no original content whatsoever. There are a few million people worldwide who play it because it's impossible to get banned from it. Including the first (and currently only) expansion, the game has only 15 songs in its full repertoire. The difference between a high-quality piece of equipment and a normal-quality piece of equipment can mean the difference between 100 damage and 1000 damage hits.

Puke of Fapfap.
Turd of Buttcrak.
WORLD OF WARCRAP, gentlemen.

WoW is hands down the worst video game I've ever played. It's so ridiculously retarded that I can't even begin to describe how bad it is. You think what I wrote up there is "beginning to describe it"? That's not even scratching the surface of the tip of the iceberg.

Several of your statements are biased, unsupported and completely false.

-Blizzard made much more then 2 games. WoW is infact, the 6th installment of the warcraft series.

-The average age of wow players is 29 years according to blizzard's own statistics.

-The graphics are pretty decent for a 2005 game, purposefully kept low to allow the game to run on more different systems. There are also scrips to greatly improve them, sanctioned by blizzard.

-Visit every single page on www.wowwiki.com and tell me who did it first before using the word "nothing" in any claim.

-It's very possible to get banned. Just try discussing the merits of the Third Reich on the official forums and see what happens.

-Another expansion is in the works and that's alot more then most other games on ther market.

-A quick browse through my game files shows some 500 odd music files. The OST(not including ambient music or anything, just people's and places's theme tunes) of the expansion alone is 21 songs long.

-And how's this any different then the damage diffrence between a pistol and a rocketlauncher.?

-The rest of your post consists of hyperboles of how bad it is with absolutely NOTHing to base them.

-You are sponsored by LOTRO or AOC, we get that, now go spam somewhere else.

Lemmie guess ... level 70?

Yes, and...?

BlackWatch
Paperboy
Posts: 34
Joined: 13 Feb 2008

nothing just wondered, have fun with that

TheNecroswanson
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3653
Joined: 29 Nov 2007

Asehujiko:

BlackWatch:

Asehujiko:

Stammer:
Okay... Do I even need to name this game? I'm pretty sure if anyone's read my previous forum posts they'll know exactly where I'm going with this.

For those of you who joined since I started controlling my hatred for the putrid game, I'll give you some hints. It's an MMO. It's made by a company who's only made about 2 games. It's populated almost entirely by 12-year-old kids. The graphics are about as high quality as the N64. It has absolutely no original content whatsoever. There are a few million people worldwide who play it because it's impossible to get banned from it. Including the first (and currently only) expansion, the game has only 15 songs in its full repertoire. The difference between a high-quality piece of equipment and a normal-quality piece of equipment can mean the difference between 100 damage and 1000 damage hits.

Puke of Fapfap.
Turd of Buttcrak.
WORLD OF WARCRAP, gentlemen.

WoW is hands down the worst video game I've ever played. It's so ridiculously retarded that I can't even begin to describe how bad it is. You think what I wrote up there is "beginning to describe it"? That's not even scratching the surface of the tip of the iceberg.

Several of your statements are biased, unsupported and completely false.

-Blizzard made much more then 2 games. WoW is infact, the 6th installment of the warcraft series.

-The average age of wow players is 29 years according to blizzard's own statistics.

-The graphics are pretty decent for a 2005 game, purposefully kept low to allow the game to run on more different systems. There are also scrips to greatly improve them, sanctioned by blizzard.

-Visit every single page on www.wowwiki.com and tell me who did it first before using the word "nothing" in any claim.

-It's very possible to get banned. Just try discussing the merits of the Third Reich on the official forums and see what happens.

-Another expansion is in the works and that's alot more then most other games on ther market.

-A quick browse through my game files shows some 500 odd music files. The OST(not including ambient music or anything, just people's and places's theme tunes) of the expansion alone is 21 songs long.

-And how's this any different then the damage diffrence between a pistol and a rocketlauncher.?

-The rest of your post consists of hyperboles of how bad it is with absolutely NOTHing to base them.

-You are sponsored by LOTRO or AOC, we get that, now go spam somewhere else.

Lemmie guess ... level 70?

Yes, and...?

And sick burn.

You want to know what wins "Most Dumb (Dumbest isn't a word.) Game Ever"? Solitaire. Grahpics are terrible, gameplay is too linear- Okay fine, I know you've all heard the joke four-thousand times. But on a serious note, I'm not too big a fan of Assassin's Creed, (big surprise). It was innovative ideas that went straight to hell through poor implimentation.

aidansan
Anonymous Source
Posts: 3
Joined: 26 Jun 2008

True Crime: Streets of LA.

"Unlock and play as Snoop Dogg".

No thank you. No amount of mr Dogg is going to stop this being wank.

gotgame.com
Anonymous Source
Posts: 6
Joined: 26 Jun 2008

A trucking game where you had to haul cargo from point a to point b . . . the most exciting part of the game was pulling over and filling up on diesel -_- . . . either that or when you quit the game . . .

SeaCalMaster
Beat Writer
Posts: 215
Joined: 2 Jun 2008

TheNecroswanson:
You want to know what wins "Most Dumb (Dumbest isn't a word.) Game Ever"? Solitaire. Grahpics are terrible, gameplay is too linear- Okay fine, I know you've all heard the joke four-thousand times. But on a serious note, I'm not too big a fan of Assassin's Creed, (big surprise). It was innovative ideas that went straight to hell through poor implimentation.

First of all, dumbest is, in fact, a word.
Second, while you might consider AC to be a bad game (and would be justified to some extent), it's not really a stupid game. There was nothing wrong with the storyline or the premise. Admittedly the whole genetic memory thing was quite a stretch, but other than that, there wasn't anything dumb about it.

Anyway, to revive a classic (unless someone else already mentioned it, in which case I apologize), I would have to give a medal to Custer's Revenge. If you've never heard of this game, look it up. It's one of the worst ideas I've ever seen in a game.

Xhumed
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1928
Joined: 15 Jun 2008

Serious Sam, in the real sense of the word dumb- mindless splatterfest shooty 'xplodey action, but so, so much fun.

apmpnmdslkbk
Copy Clerk
Posts: 114
Joined: 30 Jun 2008

The MGS series made me want to go out and beat the mentally retarted people who created the game to a point where there face would only look like spagetti meat balls (dont ask me how that makes sense it just does).

Stammer
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 708
Joined: 16 Apr 2008

Asehujiko:
Several of your statements are biased, unsupported and completely false.

-Blizzard made much more then 2 games. WoW is infact, the 6th installment of the warcraft series.

-The average age of wow players is 29 years according to blizzard's own statistics.

-The graphics are pretty decent for a 2005 game, purposefully kept low to allow the game to run on more different systems. There are also scrips to greatly improve them, sanctioned by blizzard.

-Visit every single page on www.wowwiki.com and tell me who did it first before using the word "nothing" in any claim.

-It's very possible to get banned. Just try discussing the merits of the Third Reich on the official forums and see what happens.

-Another expansion is in the works and that's alot more then most other games on ther market.

-A quick browse through my game files shows some 500 odd music files. The OST(not including ambient music or anything, just people's and places's theme tunes) of the expansion alone is 21 songs long.

-And how's this any different then the damage diffrence between a pistol and a rocketlauncher.?

-The rest of your post consists of hyperboles of how bad it is with absolutely NOTHing to base them.

-You are sponsored by LOTRO or AOC, we get that, now go spam somewhere else.

- It's less biased than most WoW players. Most people who play World of Warcrap have only ever played World of Warcrap and yet they still claim it's the god of all video games.

- No. It's only two games. Everything else is a spin-off. There is Warcraft, there is Diablo. Starcraft is Warcraft in space. World of Warcrap is Warcraft fused with Diablo. Every sequel is just that, a sequel.

- Statistics can mean anything. Many children lie about their age just to be allowed to play the game without having to go through the whole parental crap. It's a well-known fact that even if the players are averaging 29 years old, they all still act like 9 years old.

- Actually, graphics really don't bother me that much about games. Again, it's more the people who treat it like God and say "WoW has the best grafix evar" that piss me off. I know the game's supposed to be cartoony, like Warcraft itself, but some of the graphics are inexcusably bad.

- I... I just can't nagivate wowwiki. I've tried. I really have. It's such a badly designed site, just like the game.

- A friend of mine was on his last day of WoW ever. He went to Stormwind and shouted "WORLD OF WARCRAFT SUCKS" for half an hour straight. Everyone told him to shut up and probably half of the game blocked him. He didn't get kicked off. He just got bored and logged off.

- Another expansion with a ripped off name. It's called Wrath of the Lich-King, right? Ever hear of Rise of the Witch-King (it could be mixed-up a little in there, but who cares)? It's the expansion to another game. Plus, if this new expansion is anything like Burning Crusade, it'll drive more people away. I mean, seriously, increasing the level cap and adding new armor for said level cap just makes every other piece of equipment negligible that people have worked so hard to acquire. It's not fun when all that crap just goes for nothing. And in WoW, the right equipment can mean the difference between 100 damage or 1000 damage.

- No idea on the songs. Just going by what I saw on this one website that had the OST.

- First person shooters have always weirded me out like that. I don't care if it's a pistol, a machine gun, or a rocket launcher. In reality, any one of those things would kick your ass in one second. In a video game, that doesn't make a difference. In WoW, having equipment mean that much of a difference takes away from any skill aspect of the game. See Final Fantasy XI for a game that requires strategy to play.

- Yeah, that's pretty much what the whole post was about. Exaggerations. Just trying to get my points across.

- LOTRO wouldn't even install on my computer. Don't even know what AOC- oh wait, Age of Conan? Just got into my mind.

Actually, I play Final Fantasy XI in terms of full-time MMO. I know it's far from the epitome of good games. It pisses me off a lot. But I find it's fun to get back into because it's a lot more mature, a lot more stable, and has a much wider variety of things to do than I've seen in any MMO. The only two things that could really be improved would be the tempo and quest system. Seriously. If FFXI had the quest system that WoW had, it would be probably the best game ever. The quests themselves are better than WoW's, but the system is ass.

We have no quest description whatsoever, and as you get further into the quests, the description doesn't change. Most of them you have to figure out for yourself. Or, you know, look on FFXIclopedia. Hell yeah.

Chrausis
Paperboy
Posts: 13
Joined: 2 Jul 2008

SeaCalMaster:
Quest 64. What a waste that was.

I have to say, I played this when I was younger and actually enjoyed it. Played it recently and was appauled. Verdict? CHILDREN ARE STUPID

ahem

Dumbest game I've ever played would probably have to be Turning Point: Fall of Liberty. The biggest waste of money in the history of mankind