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King of the Yetis  Posts: 1322 Joined: 15 Jul 2008     | |
Copy Clerk  Posts: 85 Joined: 18 Mar 2008    | Nintendo brings in new, exciting franchises. Duke Nukem: Forever released! Uwe Boll movie smash hit, loved by millions. |
King of the Yetis Posts: 1322 Joined: 15 Jul 2008 | I like the Uwe Boll one. One for the pc gamers. VALVE blames piracy for low Portal sales, threatens to pull out of pc market Microsoft shuts down it's 360 technical support centres. "There just nothing for us to do..." |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2321 Joined: 10 Mar 2008     | Xbox 360 console reported to have 0.1% failure rate. |
Press Junketeer  Posts: 375 Joined: 21 Nov 2007  | ESA lawyer Jack Thompson wins landmark case. Details at 11. Latest Sega console dominating market. Reports of over 50 million in worldwide sales in the first month. |
Copy Clerk Posts: 111 Joined: 11 Sep 2007 | World of Warcraft player gets laid Playstation Home released Uwe Boll to be secret character in Facebreaker (we can dream) |
Beat Writer Posts: 142 Joined: 5 Jul 2008   | Cake located, found in fact, to be a pie. Cake is a pie. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 2321 Joined: 10 Mar 2008 | Insomniac and Naughty Dog partner up (oh imagine the games! They would be BEAUTIFUL!) Recent PS3 price drops the cost to $249.99 (we have to laugh at ourselves once in a while) Stoic Definition Wins the format war and a win for Sega, big blow to Nintendo supporting RD-Beem technology. |
Copy Clerk Posts: 85 Joined: 18 Mar 2008 | Ps3 outsells all other consoles. |
Muckraker  Posts: 301 Joined: 4 Dec 2007 | Valve's New Game Portal Receives Unpleasant Reviews! Microsoft Releases New, Innovative Game! Halo 4 Released, Lives Up to Hype! |
Muckraker  Posts: 266 Joined: 20 Jan 2008 | "Nintendo stops lying to their fans." |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2430 Joined: 18 Dec 2007    | Jack Thompsons finishes developing Grand Theft Auto 5, expects large amount of angry mail from Sam Houser (president of Rockstar]. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 4832 Joined: 30 Jan 2008  | Game sales threatened by increased popularity of reading. (Had to be done) Newest joint release by Sucker Punch, Naughty Dog and Insomniac for the Xbox 360 criticized for being stale and unimaginative. Newest game approved by the Catholic church praisd by gamers and critics alike. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2832 Joined: 8 May 2008   | Fanboys Peace Conference Tomorrow. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 4832 Joined: 30 Jan 2008 | ShatnerShamans newest tell all bio -Diary of a WOW addict - makes the best seller list. Yahtzee admits he was mistaken. Control - Alt - Delete actually improves in quality. |
King of the Yetis Posts: 1322 Joined: 15 Jul 2008 | Jenga Croshaw delivers largely positive review of Halo 4 "I really liked the part where master chief surfed on that moon beam. It was bodacious." |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 2832 Joined: 8 May 2008 |
Sweet I'm famous in the alternate dimension. "Spore is too full of realistic animals needs more penis monsters" says developer. |
King of the Yetis Posts: 1322 Joined: 15 Jul 2008 |
Haha. Good one. "You know I wasn't really expecting them to make so many dick monsters" says internet |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 2832 Joined: 8 May 2008 | New study shows PSN users never use voice changer. PSP has too many analogue sticks. |
King of the Yetis Posts: 1322 Joined: 15 Jul 2008 | Xbox 360 users complain about lack of shooters "Man I really just want to shoot some aliens or Nazis" says fan |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 2832 Joined: 8 May 2008 | Third Party Developers realize that making exclusive games makes the most economic sense. Sony rep complains over Xbox 360s "blatant" copying of Trophies. Nintendo DS discontinued because lack of sales. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 4832 Joined: 30 Jan 2008 | People give SixaxiS half a chance. Newest Rare game called "better than the earlier ones in the series" by fans of the original. Amazing new study shows that males actually make up a third of the gamers market, rather than being a much smaller niche. Massive popularity of HAZE leads to string of game-inspired drug fueled shooting massacres. "Why did we make it so good?" says Ubisoft. |
Copy Clerk Posts: 67 Joined: 12 Jun 2008 | Religious Right leaders decide to stop giving games free publicity Fashion Victim: The Role-Playing Game released: National Guard called out to break up consumer riots |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 2832 Joined: 8 May 2008 | Portal panned by critics worldwide but still sells 10 million. Gamespot wonders where all the fanboys went. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 4832 Joined: 30 Jan 2008 | M. Night Shamalyan (I don't fucking know how to spell his name) to direct newest Videogame-to-movie adaptation of the DOOM series. "We knew we had to get a seasoned director to work on this project" said Exec. |
Press Junketeer  Posts: 399 Joined: 6 Jul 2008 | Jack Thompson declares new GTA to be "freakin' sweet" |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 2832 Joined: 8 May 2008 | Tony Hawk series decides to take a year off. The Xbox's Flagship launched today, Blinx the Cat 3 is here and we have the exclusive review! |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 4832 Joined: 30 Jan 2008 | Folding @ Home succeeds in its goal of creating a terrifying new super-virus. Humanity enslaved by Sony. |
King of the Yetis Posts: 1322 Joined: 15 Jul 2008 |
That would be funny if it wasn't what I'm sure Sony is planning to use it for. |
Infamous Scribbler  Posts: 552 Joined: 22 Jul 2008  | Warhammer 40k: Fire Warrior declared "100% faithful to the table-top game". |
Press Junketeer Posts: 399 Joined: 6 Jul 2008 | EA declare intent to conquer sports market. "It's a new direction for us, and some fans of our hardcore survival horror games might be worried, but we feel a move towards sport games will pay off in the long run" said a spokesman today. Valve, creators of FIFA and PES declared that they were "Not worried.", as "EA can't achieve the sales we can with the casual market." |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 2832 Joined: 8 May 2008 | Game console prices are too cheap in Australia Square Enix releases game in North America,needs 6 more months for Japanese translation. |
Muckraker  Posts: 294 Joined: 9 May 2008 | Manhunt 2 not violent enough! |
Press Junketeer Posts: 399 Joined: 6 Jul 2008 | New FPS to be set in World War 2. "It's something new, you know?" said Treyarch's spokesman. "At first, we weren't sure if World War 2 would work as a video game, or if it would be too disrespectful, but we'll try our best." |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 4832 Joined: 30 Jan 2008 | Bungies FPS Halo 3 described as "Brilliant game, but poor sales" Reviewers who cannot understand the plot of Metal Gear Solid 4 admit its their own damn fault. |
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Ps3 owners overjoyed with news of FF13 multi platform launch. "Hey it's a good game. I'm glad they get to play it"
EA wins 'employer of the year' for the 6th year running!
Xbox 360 owners are sick of old people on xbox live. "Dude, they're all like, well over 60 and they're all polite and stuff, there isn't a racial slur anywhere to be found in Halo 3 and it's totally unacceptable
Is Sega resting on it's laurels? "Yeah these Sonic games are getting really old" says fan "I'm sick of jumping on stuff and running around well designed levels. Maybe Sega could make the next game 3d and maybe instead of Sonic we could control a black hedgehog who shoots robots with guns, or maybe a werewolf"
Nintendo too hardcore "Jesus, these wii games are impossible, I just want something I can play with my mom you know? Like the sims or something."