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Decoy Doctorpus
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 934
Joined: 15 Jul 2008

Ps3 owners overjoyed with news of FF13 multi platform launch. "Hey it's a good game. I'm glad they get to play it"

EA wins 'employer of the year' for the 6th year running!

Xbox 360 owners are sick of old people on xbox live. "Dude, they're all like, well over 60 and they're all polite and stuff, there isn't a racial slur anywhere to be found in Halo 3 and it's totally unacceptable

Is Sega resting on it's laurels? "Yeah these Sonic games are getting really old" says fan "I'm sick of jumping on stuff and running around well designed levels. Maybe Sega could make the next game 3d and maybe instead of Sonic we could control a black hedgehog who shoots robots with guns, or maybe a werewolf"

Nintendo too hardcore "Jesus, these wii games are impossible, I just want something I can play with my mom you know? Like the sims or something."

MK-Smash
Copy Clerk
Posts: 85
Joined: 18 Mar 2008

Nintendo brings in new, exciting franchises.

Duke Nukem: Forever released!

Uwe Boll movie smash hit, loved by millions.

Decoy Doctorpus
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 934
Joined: 15 Jul 2008

I like the Uwe Boll one.

One for the pc gamers.

VALVE blames piracy for low Portal sales, threatens to pull out of pc market

Microsoft shuts down it's 360 technical support centres. "There just nothing for us to do..."

Jumplion
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1821
Joined: 10 Mar 2008

Xbox 360 console reported to have 0.1% failure rate.

SilentHunter7
Muckraker
Posts: 298
Joined: 21 Nov 2007

ESA lawyer Jack Thompson wins landmark case. Details at 11.

Latest Sega console dominating market. Reports of over 50 million in worldwide sales in the first month.

njsykora
Copy Clerk
Posts: 111
Joined: 11 Sep 2007

World of Warcraft player gets laid

Playstation Home released

Uwe Boll to be secret character in Facebreaker (we can dream)

Somethingironic
Beat Writer
Posts: 137
Joined: 5 Jul 2008

Cake located, found in fact, to be a pie.

Cake is a pie.
Cake is a pie.
Cake is a pie.

Jumplion
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1821
Joined: 10 Mar 2008

Insomniac and Naughty Dog partner up (oh imagine the games! They would be BEAUTIFUL!)

Recent PS3 price drops the cost to $249.99 (we have to laugh at ourselves once in a while)

Stoic Definition Wins the format war and a win for Sega, big blow to Nintendo supporting RD-Beem technology.

MK-Smash
Copy Clerk
Posts: 85
Joined: 18 Mar 2008

Ps3 outsells all other consoles.

vdgmprgrmr
Muckraker
Posts: 271
Joined: 4 Dec 2007

Valve's New Game Portal Receives Unpleasant Reviews!

Microsoft Releases New, Innovative Game!

Halo 4 Released, Lives Up to Hype!

ShadeOfRed
Muckraker
Posts: 241
Joined: 20 Jan 2008

"Nintendo stops lying to their fans."

Fire Daemon
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2124
Joined: 18 Dec 2007

Jack Thompsons finishes developing Grand Theft Auto 5, expects large amount of angry mail from Sam Houser (president of Rockstar].

Indigo_Dingo
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3962
Joined: 30 Jan 2008

Game sales threatened by increased popularity of reading. (Had to be done)

Newest joint release by Sucker Punch, Naughty Dog and Insomniac for the Xbox 360 criticized for being stale and unimaginative.

Newest game approved by the Catholic church praisd by gamers and critics alike.

shatnershaman
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2493
Joined: 8 May 2008

Fanboys Peace Conference Tomorrow.

Indigo_Dingo
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3962
Joined: 30 Jan 2008

ShatnerShamans newest tell all bio -Diary of a WOW addict - makes the best seller list.

Yahtzee admits he was mistaken.

Control - Alt - Delete actually improves in quality.

Decoy Doctorpus
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 934
Joined: 15 Jul 2008

Jenga Croshaw delivers largely positive review of Halo 4 "I really liked the part where master chief surfed on that moon beam. It was bodacious."

shatnershaman
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2493
Joined: 8 May 2008

Indigo_Dingo:
ShatnerShamans newest tell all bio -Diary of a WOW addict - makes the best seller list.

Sweet I'm famous in the alternate dimension.

"Spore is too full of realistic animals needs more penis monsters" says developer.

Decoy Doctorpus
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 934
Joined: 15 Jul 2008

shatnershaman:

Indigo_Dingo:
ShatnerShamans newest tell all bio -Diary of a WOW addict - makes the best seller list.

Sweet I'm famous in the alternate dimension.

"Spore is too full of realistic animals needs more penis monsters" says developer.

Haha. Good one.

"You know I wasn't really expecting them to make so many dick monsters" says internet

shatnershaman
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2493
Joined: 8 May 2008

New study shows PSN users never use voice changer.

PSP has too many analogue sticks.

Decoy Doctorpus
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 934
Joined: 15 Jul 2008

Xbox 360 users complain about lack of shooters "Man I really just want to shoot some aliens or Nazis" says fan

shatnershaman
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2493
Joined: 8 May 2008

Third Party Developers realize that making exclusive games makes the most economic sense.

Sony rep complains over Xbox 360s "blatant" copying of Trophies.

Nintendo DS discontinued because lack of sales.

Indigo_Dingo
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3962
Joined: 30 Jan 2008

People give SixaxiS half a chance.

Newest Rare game called "better than the earlier ones in the series" by fans of the original.

Amazing new study shows that males actually make up a third of the gamers market, rather than being a much smaller niche.

Massive popularity of HAZE leads to string of game-inspired drug fueled shooting massacres. "Why did we make it so good?" says Ubisoft.

sidhe3141
Copy Clerk
Posts: 55
Joined: 12 Jun 2008

Religious Right leaders decide to stop giving games free publicity

Fashion Victim: The Role-Playing Game released: National Guard called out to break up consumer riots

shatnershaman
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2493
Joined: 8 May 2008

Portal panned by critics worldwide but still sells 10 million.

Gamespot wonders where all the fanboys went.

Indigo_Dingo
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3962
Joined: 30 Jan 2008

M. Night Shamalyan (I don't fucking know how to spell his name) to direct newest Videogame-to-movie adaptation of the DOOM series. "We knew we had to get a seasoned director to work on this project" said Exec.

J'aen
Press Junketeer
Posts: 399
Joined: 6 Jul 2008

Jack Thompson declares new GTA to be "freakin' sweet"

shatnershaman
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2493
Joined: 8 May 2008

Tony Hawk series decides to take a year off.

The Xbox's Flagship launched today, Blinx the Cat 3 is here and we have the exclusive review!

Indigo_Dingo
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3962
Joined: 30 Jan 2008

Folding @ Home succeeds in its goal of creating a terrifying new super-virus. Humanity enslaved by Sony.

Decoy Doctorpus
Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 934
Joined: 15 Jul 2008

Indigo_Dingo:
Folding @ Home succeeds in its goal of creating a terrifying new super-virus. Humanity enslaved by Sony.

That would be funny if it wasn't what I'm sure Sony is planning to use it for.

Armitage Shanks
Muckraker
Posts: 300
Joined: 22 Jul 2008

Warhammer 40k: Fire Warrior declared "100% faithful to the table-top game".
Says critic "The fact that you couldn't use the signature Tau XV8 Battlesuits just made it better!

J'aen
Press Junketeer
Posts: 399
Joined: 6 Jul 2008

EA declare intent to conquer sports market. "It's a new direction for us, and some fans of our hardcore survival horror games might be worried, but we feel a move towards sport games will pay off in the long run" said a spokesman today. Valve, creators of FIFA and PES declared that they were "Not worried.", as "EA can't achieve the sales we can with the casual market."

shatnershaman
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2493
Joined: 8 May 2008

Game console prices are too cheap in Australia

Square Enix releases game in North America,needs 6 more months for Japanese translation.

Gooble
Muckraker
Posts: 294
Joined: 9 May 2008

Manhunt 2 not violent enough!
Real life violence encourages violence in video games
Xbox Live-the online Utopia

J'aen
Press Junketeer
Posts: 399
Joined: 6 Jul 2008

New FPS to be set in World War 2. "It's something new, you know?" said Treyarch's spokesman. "At first, we weren't sure if World War 2 would work as a video game, or if it would be too disrespectful, but we'll try our best."

Indigo_Dingo
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3962
Joined: 30 Jan 2008

Bungies FPS Halo 3 described as "Brilliant game, but poor sales"

Reviewers who cannot understand the plot of Metal Gear Solid 4 admit its their own damn fault.

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