Truly BAD Media You 'Should' Like:

 Pages 1 2 NEXT
 

What are some TRULY bad media out there?
Stuff out there that's bad even for 'the niche of the niche fans'.
Stuff that's so bad, it's not even worth the 'slowing down at a car wreck' levels of bad.

An album, from a genera/artist you love, that you try and pretend never existed.
A book, from a genera/artist you love, that makes you think book burning ain't so bad.
A TV show, from a genera/artist you love, that you can't even compliment the end credits.
A movie, from a genera/artist you love, that makes you gag, like...for reel.

Basically, I'm looking for so 'so bad or boring, it's just bad or boring'.
A real 'if you hate yourself, please...not even this.'

Easy, "The Chronicles of the Shadow War." The novels sequel to the George Lucas movie Willow.

Chris Claremont collaborated with Lucas on the books, and they are awful. It took me a long time to get through even one book, and I couldn't finish the second at all. They're worthless, they crush all the life out of the world the movie created (and that wasn't much more than just basic, even pretty simple, fantasy.) They take 2 of the most interesting characters in the movie and kill them off screen in the first couple of chapters of the first book. They take a nonstandard hero and main character, and in those same 2 chapters turn him into an average, run-of-the-mill fantasy hero. And change his name... he just flat out isn't Willow any more. The casting of a (gods forbid) movie version of Shadow Moon would see Warwick Davis playing Willow for the first scene, and average generic slightly grizzled handsome guy (uhh... think Dermot Mulroney) for the rest of the movie. And then they set out on the adventure, to stop and pick up a whiny, insufferable brat to help out; a character we only knew as a baby that everyone was trying to protect in the movie. But in the novels she is so unlikeable the audience just wants to stop in on the final fight scene in the movie and take Willow aside and say, "Maybe think about letting the evil queen sacrifice this baby. It may not turn out great for everyone... but it will save you tons of grief later."

Halo fucking 5.

Fuck me, I could go on about how much I hate that game's story, but im at work right now, and I really don't want to depress myself.

Skyrim. Compared to Dragon's Dogma or Dark Souls it's just mediocre.
Borderlands is garbage that's only vaguely tolerable if you're playing with a friend.
Breaking Bad is I guess technically a well written show but I found it predictable and it acted like it was smarter than it really was.
Most Monty Python and Black Adder doesn't actually age well but as a British man I'm supposed to like it.

the GTA series.

Laggyteabag:
Halo fucking 5.

Fuck me, I could go on about how much I hate that game's story, but im at work right now, and I really don't want to depress myself.

Halo fucking 5... Oh lawdy, that game gave me PTSD.

-

Being John Malkovich - Everyone's super cringey and/or a cunt. I couldn't even finish it. The cringe was so bad...

The Voices - Once again, I didn't finish it. Seeing all those sick acts committed against all those innocent people made me feel... Not good. And I thought it was gonna be a comedy or something...

It's hard to choose between the Metallica albums of St. Anger and that album they did with Lou Reed, Lulu

St. Anger just plain old sucked and should not be listened to, but Lulu is so bad it's actually pretty funny (I am the table!) and it wouldn't be a total waste of time if you listen to it

Most TV shows. The Office, 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, Modern Family, Community, and Big Bang Theory. I've watched multiple episodes of all and can't for the life of me find the appeal. Not one character acts or talks how a real person does, not one situations is believable let alone funny, and not once have I felt anything approaching passion in any of the acting.
It all seems so dry, so stiff. Like who actually thinks these shows accurately reflect life, or that any character is worth emulating?!

Batman vs Superman. I literally turned to my girlfriend halfway through to say "I hate this" only for her to breathe a sigh of relief that she wouldn't have to pretend to have enjoyed it for my sake.

And no, before the obligatory defense squad shows up, I'm not interested in debating its merits.

Let me think... I'm inclined to mention Spring Breakers. I mean, I'd hesitate to say there was nothing redeeming about it, namely I really liked James Franco's performance as a sleazy white trash rapper, but overall it was a vacuous waste of time. Every character's personality consisted of exactly two traits, drunk and horny. Watching it felt like being the only sober person at a party, at the end of it you're just annoyed and tired and want to take a shower and go to bed. I think it was trying to make some sort of point about about american excess but Michael Bay, of all people, treated the same themes more gracefully the very same year in Pain and Gain.

I'd bring up Twilight now but absolutely noone wants to go over that again so I'll spare you.

JUMBO PALACE:
Batman vs Superman. I literally turned to my girlfriend halfway through to say "I hate this" only for her to breathe a sigh of relief that she wouldn't have to pretend to have enjoyed it for my sake.

And no, before the obligatory defense squad shows up, I'm not interested in debating its merits.

And here I was getting my hopes up.

PsychedelicDiamond:

And here I was getting my hopes up.

Hey man, you do you. I'm glad some people enjoy it but it couldn't have been a more disappointing cinema experience for me. Fingers crossed for Justice League though.

Arnoxthe1:

The Voices - Once again, I didn't finish it. Seeing all those sick acts committed against all those innocent people made me feel... Not good. And I thought it was gonna be a comedy or something...

Haha, I didn't know there are actually people this squeamish. Those women were happy in the fridge anyway.

PsychedelicDiamond:
Let me think... I'm inclined to mention Spring Breakers. I mean, I'd hesitate to say there was nothing redeeming about it, namely I really liked James Franco's performance as a sleazy white trash rapper, but overall it was a vacuous waste of time.

Well, I liked the movie. And that means your opinion is wrong. :^) I liked its naturalism.

Personally, I thought It was a bad movie I should have liked. But besides Pennywise (Which I did like), the whole thing seemed like it was actively trying to make me dislike it. I actually went to the bathroom three times during the film, once just to check my phone, and at no point did I hesitate because I might 'miss something.'

Silentpony:
Like who actually thinks these shows accurately reflect life, or that any character is worth emulating?!

No one, and I question why you would think anyone would, or should.

Silentpony:
Most TV shows. The Office, 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, Modern Family, Community, and Big Bang Theory. I've watched multiple episodes of all and can't for the life of me find the appeal. Not one character acts or talks how a real person does, not one situations is believable let alone funny, and not once have I felt anything approaching passion in any of the acting.
It all seems so dry, so stiff. Like who actually thinks these shows accurately reflect life, or that any character is worth emulating?!

Aren't all those comedies? Have you tried stuff like Oz, Breaking Bad, Westworld or The Wire?

The most recent album of one of my favorite bands, Equilibrium, was definitely a dud. It had nothing of the excessively grandiose, campy pomposity that made me fall in love with their music in the first place. It was like a watered down, nerfed version of everything they'd done before. And the english lyrics, just no. Get back to making 10+ instrumental folk metal songs whose pomposity makes Dragonforce blush.

Muse is my favorite band of all time, and the album Origin of Symmetry has some of their biggest classics like New born or Plug in Baby. But most of the album is spent on endless, meandering, slogging, noodling prog... I don't even know what to call them. They're too heavy to be ballads, but don't rock enough to be called songs. Let's just call them Ljubljana for absolutely no reason. The Ljubljana take up what feels like most of the album, and the vocals are so distorted and filtered that they become completely incomprehensible, and Matt Bellamy spams his falsetto like there's no tomorrow. It's like listening to a buzzsaw for 40 minutes. Just no.

The first two Berserk movies (the third one gets a pass from me) and that fucking botched abortion they call the new anime. They took what should be the Game of Thrones of anime in terms of production quality, and assraped it to death. It's hideous beyond comprehension, logic, and the limits of the english, or any language.

ITT: People just listing things they don't like. Like every thread like this, of course, so I don't know that I should be surprised.

OT: One of the most ever-enduring musical examples of this will forever be brokeNCYDE (or however the blazes that name was stylized).

I know a lot of people have a visceral hatred for a lot of screamo-type music, but they take the cake even for many of us who are fans.

Just for comparison, here's another "scene" band that received a lot of criticism back in the day for being little more than a cacophony of poorly-composed noise:

I think, even if you don't like the second song, you should be able to agree that it's far better than the first.

Bonus! Something that combines what people might consider the worst parts of both prior songs!

For something a bit more modern, we have the infamous Suicide Silence "teehee", though that's something that's more of a concern for people who are fans of the genre rather than those who aren't.

McElroy:
Haha, I didn't know there are actually people this squeamish. Those women were happy in the fridge anyway.

Trust me. I don't care about violence itself. The Voices is a sick movie that makes me want to cry and burn the world.

OK, maybe being too dramatic... But really now. What a sick fuck. Seeing terrible things happen to good people is almost unbearable for me.

"Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band"

"A Day in the Life," and, "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds," are amazing songs on an otherwise bland album. It's not a bad album, but if you take away those two aforementioned songs then you're left with the titular tracks and, "With a Little Help From My Friends," which are catchy but not extraordinary. I guarantee that when people talk up this album they aren't talking about, "Fixing a Hole," "Getting Better," "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite," "Lovely Rita," "She's Leaving Home," "When I'm Sixty-Four," and certainly not, "Within You Without You."

Arnoxthe1:

McElroy:
Haha, I didn't know there are actually people this squeamish. Those women were happy in the fridge anyway.

Trust me. I don't care about violence itself. The Voices is a sick movie that makes me want to cry and burn the world.

OK, maybe being too dramatic... But really now. What a sick fuck. Seeing terrible things happen to good people is almost unbearable for me.

So that limits your media options doesn't it?

Kenbo Slice:
So that limits your media options doesn't it?

Not really. Why?

As a huge Whedon fan of Buffy and Firefly, I SHOULD love Dollhouse but it's not very good. The show really hinges on Eliza Dushku actually acting and she's a horrible actress. It's one thing to have to play one character well but she has to play a different character every episode and she doesn't even come close to pulling it off.

As a huge Nolan fan and loving space and science, I SHOULD love Interstellar but I didn't care for it at all as a whole. There's some really great scenes but the movie falls apart on a couple plot points. I did recall hearing/reading that Interstellar was originally a Spielberg project so I guess that makes sense as to why it just doesn't work.

There's only one really bad piece of media that I can think of that should've been great but was just plain horrible, truly truly bad. I think Zack Synder is a good director; Watchmen is my favorite comic book movie, Man of Steel is my favorite Superman movie, I even like Sucker Punch. But the following movie is possibly the worst movie ever made, it's so bad that my friends and I have discussed just how bad this movie is for hours upon hours. I guess in the end it has provided entertainment in how bad it is...

JUMBO PALACE:
Batman vs Superman. I literally turned to my girlfriend halfway through to say "I hate this" only for her to breathe a sigh of relief that she wouldn't have to pretend to have enjoyed it for my sake.

And no, before the obligatory defense squad shows up, I'm not interested in debating its merits.

Anyone that legitimately likes BvS should be considered clinically insane :)

Anyway, I saw BvS on the Thursday night before such word got out because I wanted to go in without any biases really. I still remember rolling my eyes at the opening lines of this turd sandwich. Then, the scenes of Batman in Metropolis during the end of Man of Steel were solid thinking it could turn around. But everything after that pure irredeemable garbage. I even remember thinking during Batman's parents' deaths why do they keep highlighting that his mom is named Martha, no mention of Thomas whatsoever, it felt so odd. Then, "the scene" happened and I wanted to punch whoever wrote that tripe. BvS is leagues worse than probably any Michael Bay shit show as they at least follow a remnant of internal logic.

bartholen:
Muse is my favorite band of all time, and the album Origin of Symmetry has some of their biggest classics like New born or Plug in Baby. But most of the album is spent on endless, meandering, slogging, noodling prog... I don't even know what to call them. They're too heavy to be ballads, but don't rock enough to be called songs. Let's just call them Ljubljana for absolutely no reason. The Ljubljana take up what feels like most of the album, and the vocals are so distorted and filtered that they become completely incomprehensible, and Matt Bellamy spams his falsetto like there's no tomorrow. It's like listening to a buzzsaw for 40 minutes. Just no.

Muse is my 2nd favorite modern band after the classic rock era but their albums after Resistance are pretty shitty IMO. Thus, I SHOULD like them but they suck. In my Muse playlist, the only song from the last 2 albums that makes the cut is Mercy. Origin of Symmetry has 8 songs on my playlist which is 2nd highest with the 1st album having the most songs. I can definitely see Matt's vocals becoming annoying during several songs, he just goes on and on at times. Absolution is the one album that I think I dislike the most out the albums that I do like, the songs don't have enough variance in sound for me and sorta bleed into each other.

Silentpony:
Most TV shows. The Office, 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, Modern Family, Community, and Big Bang Theory. I've watched multiple episodes of all and can't for the life of me find the appeal. Not one character acts or talks how a real person does, not one situations is believable let alone funny, and not once have I felt anything approaching passion in any of the acting.
It all seems so dry, so stiff. Like who actually thinks these shows accurately reflect life, or that any character is worth emulating?!

I'm routinely told that I'm just like Jay Pritchett from Modern Family and Pierce Hawthorne from Community and I'm not at all old either. Arrested Development is a prime example of a hilarious show that's nothing like real life. Whereas Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm are hilarious because they are like real life. Most of the shows you mention lean heavily into the 1st category. Even then there's some great characters in there like April Ludgate from Parks and Rec reminds me very much of one of my friends.

Silentpony:
Most TV shows. The Office, 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, Modern Family, Community, and Big Bang Theory. I've watched multiple episodes of all and can't for the life of me find the appeal. Not one character acts or talks how a real person does, not one situations is believable let alone funny, and not once have I felt anything approaching passion in any of the acting.
It all seems so dry, so stiff. Like who actually thinks these shows accurately reflect life, or that any character is worth emulating?!

So, there is a subcategory of sitcom that presents us a heightened reality and outrageous characters, and has them just do nutty and unbelievable things for our amusement. Every show you mentioned here is in that subcategory. It clearly is not the genre for you, which is fine. I only really like one of those shows myself. But tv offers rather more variety than just this kind of offbeat comedy. Like, branch out a little.

I use Chernaya Molniya to test my friendships with people. If they are still willing to talk to you after watching it, they are all right.

That movie is the best retelling of Sam Raimi's Spider-Man starring a flying Volga. And since it's the only one, I'm technically correct.

Laggyteabag:
Halo fucking 5.

Fuck me, I could go on about how much I hate that game's story, but im at work right now, and I really don't want to depress myself.

I felt this way about Halo 4 to be honest. Not just the story but the bullet-sponge enemies and the lazy design and just...I'm not going to get into it.

---

Maybe it's a sign that I'm getting old or maybe it's a sign that I actually am sex-repulsed but Big Mouth just strikes me as being child porn lazily disguised as a Family Guy rip-off written by the people who did Drawn Together.

Other than that, I thought Grandma's Boy was as insulting and damaging to the face of gaming culture as Gamer but from a different angle: Gamer seemed intent to call out game players as a hoard of sexual deviants who are one mild-inconvenience away from becoming spree killers whereas Grandma's Boy tried to paint game makers as Saturday morning cartoon villains. While both movies seemed to positively LOATH game players and game makers alike, both movies marketed themselves to "Gamers" exclusively.

RedRockRun:
"Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band"

"A Day in the Life," and, "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds," are amazing songs on an otherwise bland album. It's not a bad album, but if you take away those two aforementioned songs then you're left with the titular tracks and, "With a Little Help From My Friends," which are catchy but not extraordinary. I guarantee that when people talk up this album they aren't talking about, "Fixing a Hole," "Getting Better," "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite," "Lovely Rita," "She's Leaving Home," "When I'm Sixty-Four," and certainly not, "Within You Without You."

Fully agreed. I thought it was a bland, flat album-- nowhere near The Beatles' best-- and can't really understand the messianic reputation it's accrued.

Big Bang Theory. Fortunately there are enough people coming around to how utterly terrible the show is that I can complain about it and expect friends to not look at me like I'm a food rapist, but it still gets raved about. Appallingly unfunny, dated, mean spirited and entirely unlike my experience of geek/nerdom.

Imre Csete:
I use Chernaya Molniya to test my friendships with people. If they are still willing to talk to you after watching it, they are all right.

That movie is the best retelling of Sam Raimi's Spider-Man starring a flying Volga. And since it's the only one, I'm technically correct.

That looks incredible.

I dunno, most sports? I for the life of me can't grasp why people get so invested in teams and stuff, and I was quite invested as a kid which makes it all the more baffling. I think it's just tradition and your parents telling you how you should feel which makes you want to care because you look up to them and then you're programmed and then it's part of your identity. I got de-programmed around my early teens thankfully so now looking at sports with sober eyes I just don't get what there is to like as an actually interesting thing and not as simply a tradition.

Assassin's Creed II for me. I was drawn by the setting. I have kind of an adoration for Renaissance Italy, people like Da Vinci, Machiavelli, the Borgias... so when I heard they were all in there and you could run around Italy and you could even have people speaking Italian, I was like "Hell yeah." The game was a fucking grind for me though. Repetitive missions, woeful combat, and a lot of the various "sins" that turn me off of a lot of open world games. I just couldn't get into it and didn't know why everyone loved it. There were aspects of the story I liked, Ezio was a fun enough character, but the story frustrated me as well. I didn't give two shits about the future stuff and I also felt like they completely wasted Rodrigo Borgia. How do you make a Borgia so goddamn boring? Those guys were nuts. I hear they have a little more fun with the other Borgia's in the expansions, but I really don't care.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Its not the worst film I've ever seen, but I've never hated a movie so much to the point that it makes my blood boil.

Inside Lewellyn Davis...the only Coen Brothers film that made me feel nothing. I wasn't expecting comedy, just...some sort of emotion. Mild resentment towards mediocre folk music doesn't count.

As comforting as it is to remind myself I am a cold, mechanical, unfeeling asshole with no hope of ever connecting with another a human being ever again, even such hopelessness has a glimmering fragment of desire towards certain worlds and characters in the form that may be considered bias. Such as Telltale's Walking Dead series. And how the third season dropped in quality faster than my hopes and dreams do upon awaking into this reality each day. Tis to be expected I guess.

Birdman made me feel like I walked through a portal into a theater on a planet where people think that sort of thing is good. I felt completely alienated by it. Just an ugly, tired movie with nothing to say.

I don't know if anyone knows of this movie, but there was Bob Dylan bio-pic fan-fic called, "I'm Not There," which critics seemed to generally like.

I tried watching it twice and dropped it twice. I've never before seen anything so far up its own ass with self-importance, trying so hard to be artful, deep, quirky, and significant. I'd call it smug and pretentious, but that doesn't even cover half of it. And it all gets worse when you read some of the reviews.

Haynes doesn't offer us a Dylan for Dummies but a kind of filmic Dylan song, allusive and evocative and purposefully, poetically ambiguous. He has absorbed the lore and mythology and processed it through his own particular movie brat dream filter.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph... I often think that film critics' first job is to make themselves look as intelligent as possible before actually offering any meaningful criticism.

RedRockRun:
"With a Little Help From My Friends,"

Done a lot better by Joe Cocker.

OT:

I have two examples and in a rare case, everyone seems to be on the same page as me.

The Matrix sequels and the prequels to Alien. In both cases, a critical member or members of the original creative team is on board and they really are trying but just can't seem to get it right. The issues may also stem from the very idea of trying to add onto the mythology.

EDIT: Come to think of it, that seems to be a trend. It happened with George Lucas and Stephen Spielberg with Indiana Jones. Lucas with Star Wars. Peter Jackson with Lord of the Rings. Etc Etc.

Though it seems to have worked with Mad Max and ironically Blade Runner.

I thought putting Disgaea 5 or Tales of Zestiria but even if they sucked the gameplay was still good enough to save it. I also thought about Doctor Strange but Marvel movies started feeling repetitive before this eye rape so there wasn't a lot of expectations to ruin.

Then it dawned on me the subject of my ire, The Legend of Korra, oh boy that was shit and one I still had hope for until the last season.
Starting in season one it had a fantastic set up that I don't think was ever utilized well, a metropolis with (a majority of) super humans. The heroine could be Batman in this setting, it can even build the plot of the looming evil rising well with each episode the heroes getting closer and create new scenerios like the scars of the war 50 years ago... but the writers decided a boring love triangle and a shitty bending sport would be more interesting and the season ended up being mediocre.

Then the second season, we abandon the city (and I don't think it ever used afterwards as a unique setting) and go back to the ice caps for the heroine's family as well as the spirit realm and it was really really bad and ended with a huge slap in the face for anyone who liked Aang or really any previous avatars.

The third season was an improvement with interesting villains and a unique scenario... But the main villain was a villain sue to ridiculous degree (able to master bending he never had until then, and the idea he "practiced" the form is just idiotic) and ended with a good dose of emotional manipulation that ends up not really having an effect. Also had the dumbest case of plot convinience bending, remember when Toph (a bending prodigy) was trapped in a metal cage for days until she realized metal bending? Now it's just a mental switch. Really it is representative of an issue with the show that turned bender into X-men mutants.

I quit the final season when Korra ended up being mostly cured from her ailment quite easily and the show tried to force the idea that the villain in the season was evil in a stupid fashion. She was a nationalistic conqueror... in a time where every day without unity meant the likely deaths of thousands from hunger and violence, that usurped the rule from a king.. who was useless in his job and put by foreign powers, and called out the metal city... who likely could have saved countless lives and not done so. It was obvious they'd make her do some Dick Dastardly stuff to justify it but until then, judging from common logic and what we see she should be a hero.

Conan The Barbarian of course. It's so trashy but fuck me is it delicious.

shrekfan246:
ITT: People just listing things they don't like. Like every thread like this, of course, so I don't know that I should be surprised.

Yeah, I thought this was supposed to be stuff like The Room or Troll 2 or whatever.

OT: I kind of thought The World's End wasn't great. Not terrible, just...could have been better. The effects were decent and fight scenes were rather fun but the satire isn't nearly as sharp as it was in Hot Fuzz, which managed to both lampoon the tropes and film techniques of big budget, buddy cop action films while being a decent action film in and of itself. Didn't quite get the same bang with sci-fi/invasion films in TWE and the whole "androids have taken over" plot wasn't explained very well IMHO. The ending was also rushed, though the epilogue was nifty.

Even so, I don't know if this counts or not. It's not "TRULY bad," just kind of...all right, I guess.

Dreiko:
I dunno, most sports? I for the life of me can't grasp why people get so invested in teams and stuff, and I was quite invested as a kid which makes it all the more baffling.

I feel you on this one but with one exception and that's seeing sports live in countries other than the West. I wasn't a big fan of baseball in Canada but going to baseball in Korea is a whole different experience because the tickets, food and alcohol are cheap as hell and everyone gets really into it. There are cheers for each player and people bring noisemakers and go crazy when their team is at bat. Makes going to sports so much more fun than back at home. Seeing sports live in general is better than...I dunno, watching them on TV or whatever.

But yeah, otherwise, sports are just tribalism nonsense. I have a baseball team I cheer for here but if they don't win it's not that big a deal. Not like them winning has an effect on my life. I'm actually on a KBO Facebook group but only to watch the foreigners argue about their baseball teams because it's hilarious to see people get so invested in something so trivial. Like, calm down Greg. It's soccer just baseball.

 Pages 1 2 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here