In what situation is it socially acceptable for a 20 year old to date a teenager?

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I was wondering, in what case can a 20 year old do that and it's ok?

When the teenager is nineteen. And that's about it.

The Rogue Wolf:
When the teenager is nineteen. And that's about it.

What about eighteen, though personally I think its fine for a 20 year old to date a 17 year old.

The Rogue Wolf:
When the teenager is nineteen. And that's about it.

I'd give 18. Its the legal age, nationally, but no younger. If someone is a Sophomore, and dating a senior, the senior is two years older and will eventually get to 20 before the sophomore. That's no so bad, all things considered.

But no younger.

If they can sign for a boat loan.

Not that complex. Don't be that guy.

A 20-year-old and a teenager? Never. That is never okay.
The only situation where it's ever remotely okay for an adult to date a minor is if they were both minors when the relationship started and the age difference isn't too great (personally I would put the upper limit at a two-year-difference), like if two 17-year-olds dated and then one turned 18 a few months before the other.

Ask the teenager's parents. If they are revolted by your proposition, then it is probably not ok.

Kotaro:
A 20-year-old and a teenager? Never. That is never okay.
The only situation where it's ever remotely okay for an adult to date a minor

Teenager ≠ Minor

Age is just a number... and prison is just a room.

But really, I'd say if the teenager in question is at the very least 17 (ideally turning 18 before you turn 21), and you don't do anything illegal with her until they're legal, then it's probably fine. 20 years old is the youngest you could possibly be post-teenager. If you were already in your mid-20's, this would be a different story. But at 20 years old, 17 still satisfies the "Half your age and plus 7" rule of thumb.

When the teenager in question is 19 years old.

God you Americans are such prudes.
It is clearly and undeniable fine for a 20 year to date and 18 year old. You may not personally like it, but that's what makes you a prude.

I think some more information is going to be needed. Because, the way I see it, if both parties are over the age of consent for whatever country they live in, then there shouldn't be a problem. I mean, when I was 22, I dated a girl who was 17, the age of consent in Britain is 16, so there was never a problem. I met her at work and we dated for over a year. I mean, a person who is over the age of consent and is still 16, 17, 18, 19 can still be classed as a teenager.

If however it is a 20 year old dating a person who is under the age of consent, then no. Just no.

Really its never a good idea. I had a 20 year old friend who was dating an 18-year old. They are married now with a perfectly normal family and nobody even cares about their 2 year old age difference now that they're in their mid to late 30's. But that's... not usual. Frankly when somebody is 18... or 20 they aren't really mature enough to maintain a stable relationship. That's why it isn't a good idea, relationships at that age aren't generally important enough to matter in the long term anyway. Best not to mess around with potentially troublesome pairings whether its age difference or whatever it is that's complicating issues. There's absolutely no harm in waiting a few years.

Can depend on the social situation too. If he/she is still at school it's a bit weirder than if he/she is in the workplace. My personal comfort zone, were I still 20 (massive sadface) would probably be 18, but not if she was still at school. (And I do mean school, not university.)

I still think of 18-year-olds as children, but 20-year-olds aren't really any different, it really depends on the person and the life they live/have lived.

Age of consent here is 15, so I guess that's okay.
The bigger the gap the more iffy it gets though.

Adult means different things for different folks, but is generally seen as 18 and above, at least in the eyes of the law.
What is really to be avoided are situations in which the older person has any undue influence over the younger one.
Positions of power such as teacher-student, boss-intern, etc, should be avoided and frowned upon.
Otherwise, go nuts. ,)

I don't see a problem, myself.

Socially in the US, probably not fine for most. Who gives a fuck though?

The USA where it's fine for 14 year olds to be tried as adults and for 17 year olds to join the military and be sent to war to die at 18 but god forbid they date someone who is 20.

Kyrian007:
Really its never a good idea. I had a 20 year old friend who was dating an 18-year old. They are married now with a perfectly normal family and nobody even cares about their 2 year old age difference now that they're in their mid to late 30's. But that's... not usual. Frankly when somebody is 18... or 20 they aren't really mature enough to maintain a stable relationship. That's why it isn't a good idea, relationships at that age aren't generally important enough to matter in the long term anyway. Best not to mess around with potentially troublesome pairings whether its age difference or whatever it is that's complicating issues. There's absolutely no harm in waiting a few years.

Yep a 2 year age gap in a married couple is unusual usually it's bigger. I think the smallest age gap in my living family is 7 years and the longest is 18 (If I included those who have past it gets bigger).

Stay safe and go by your countries age of consent. But then if you are purposely trying to pick up teens then thats kinda creepy.

2HF:

Kotaro:
The only situation where it's ever remotely okay for an adult to date a minor is if they were both minors when the relationship started and the age difference isn't too great (personally I would put the upper limit at a two-year-difference), like if two 17-year-olds dated and then one turned 18 a few months before the other.

Teenager ≠ Minor

Yes they are. Anyone under 18 is a minor.

BloodStalk:
I was wondering, in what case can a 20 year old do that and it's ok?

As long as the other person is of legal age, then it's fine. Though a general rule of thumb is, the age difference should be no more than 2 years.

BloodStalk:
I was wondering, in what case can a 20 year old do that and it's ok?

If you're a Republican running for the Senate, apparently...

It depends. Are you female or are you male but planning on driving a truck of peace in the near future? If so, then by current year American standards, it's totally fine.

Why does it have to be socially acceptable?
If it's legal and both people consent, what's the problem?
Worrying about whether other people are OK with how you live your life will only make you miserable.

A couple I used to work with started dating in college, when he was in his last year and she was just starting; putting him at 19 and her at 15. Move on a five years and they're still going strong. He even said the only awkward thing they had to deal with was picking places to go out, as she could drink for another three years when they started out.

Kotaro:

2HF:

Kotaro:
The only situation where it's ever remotely okay for an adult to date a minor is if they were both minors when the relationship started and the age difference isn't too great (personally I would put the upper limit at a two-year-difference), like if two 17-year-olds dated and then one turned 18 a few months before the other.

Teenager ≠ Minor

Yes they are. Anyone under 18 is a minor.

The gap widens considerably in European nations. Italy has a six year gap, France a five year and the UK has a four year gap. Taking into account social norms and varying levels of emotional maturity, the question becomes far less cut any dried. The only reasons the average American may find it unacceptable is because the age of consent is higher.

BloodStalk:
I was wondering, in what case can a 20 year old do that and it's ok?

Where it is legal.

Maybe the reason the age of consent is so high in the US is because our teenagers still have the maturity of an infant. Back around the 1940s and earlier, teenagers used to be a lot more mature than they are now.

Kotaro:

2HF:

Kotaro:
The only situation where it's ever remotely okay for an adult to date a minor is if they were both minors when the relationship started and the age difference isn't too great (personally I would put the upper limit at a two-year-difference), like if two 17-year-olds dated and then one turned 18 a few months before the other.

Teenager ≠ Minor

Yes they are. Anyone under 18 is a minor.

So in other words, some teens are minors and some aren't, but like 2HF said, "teen" doesn't equal "minor," since not all teens are under 18.

Arnoxthe1:
Maybe the reason the age of consent is so high in the US is because our teenagers still have the maturity of an infant. Back around the 1940s and earlier, teenagers used to be a lot more mature than they are now.

Judging by American TV, you guys don't leave high school until you're in your mid-thirties anyway.

There's a formula for social acceptability.

Half your age plus 7.
Starting at 18 (when you can legally be tried as an adult), the lowest you should go is 16, and even then, you should at least both be in High School.

If you've been dating continuously, then it shouldn't be a problem if you just turned 20. But you shouldn't be creeping around High School and High School girls as a 20 year old, generally.
ONE - it turns off any girls your own age and is generally pussy kyptonite.
TWO - legally creepy and statutory.

TL;DR - formula says 1/2 of twenty is 10, then add 7 = 17
17 is your cut-off.

I should note that my first GF turned 19 when I was 17 and still in high school. I only met her as she started college and I started senior year of HS.

Depends on the social group really. But I'd go with 17 not even raising an eyebrow round these parts. 16 might be a bit iffy socially, but still legal barring some very, very unlikely circumstances.

urm, I just go with 18. Like seriously, loads of relationships at Uni are 21-19 etc.

How about me, a 25 year old with a 20 year old? People do find it... odd.

Age of consent in MA is 16, but personally I'd be a bit more comfortable with the 20 year old in question waiting until 18. Just remember there's a difference between "legal" and "right."

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