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Life Lessons From Anime

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Well, with all the anime (manga, etc.) that I watch, I'd have to have learned something from them, right? Well, I have.

1: The various laws of science are really only more of a sort of general guideline, not hard law. They can be broken when it pleases you, and when they are in effect, they never apply to breasts.

2: Band-aids heal everything. NO EXCEPTIONS.

3: Rainbow hair colors are perfectly natural - no dyes or wigs or odd genetic experiments needed.

What about you?

Even the most ridiculous hairdos don't require hair products of any kind.

If you are on the good guys/gals side, fear not, you might live as long as you never tried to be a mentor to that little whiny brat.

I learned why second hand smoke is dangerous to non smokers (no, really).

Giant breasts are in no way a burden provided you show them off as much as possible.

Women love tentacle monsters.

Morne

If you learn a martial art you can jump 100 feet in the air and use magic.

All boys look like girls.

All girls look physically mature beyond their years.

As long as your hairdo defies gravity you can fight with a sword bigger than you are.

As long as your hairdo defies gravity you can kill people with your evil mind powers (YGO)

WELL. ANIME TAUGHT ME MORALS. FUCK.

All girls 12 years+ have huge racks.

All villains no matter how powerful will all be killed by that whinny brat or emo kid.

If somebody calls some move the ultimate superpower, you can bet that there is another move that is far more powerful than it.

1) It's best to have multiple 'ultimate' technique in your arsenal, in case you get in a battle with your nemesis. (aka cock-waving contest)

2) Large breasts don't actually cause back issuess

3) Spilling your life story is acceptable with any slight prompting

It is honorable and perfectly acceptable to shout the name of your attack before use in order to give your enemy a chance to figure out whats coming.

Gunshots don't kill unless you've emptied a John Woo clip.
Giant robots are feasible and require no realistic energy source or engineering expertise.
You can have the coolest fucking hair ever without need for any external influence.
Being an emo means everybody loves you and will help you out out of pity or wanting to have sex with you.
You don't know a single fat or ugly woman, but you know plenty of creepy guys.
While powering up, nobody will attack you.
Swords are awesome, and more dangerous than guns.
It's your job to save the world/your country/everyone you care about you random ass deadbeat/kid.

All 15yo boys are virgins but all 15 yo girls are sluts.

Every fight must be accompanied by 10x more dialogue than action.

If a ridiculously exaggerated vein appears on a guy's head, laugh at him.
If a ridiculously exaggerated vein appears on a girl's head, run away extremely quickly.

People can and often do go from standing up to lying down without any intervening movement.

Whining prolongs your life and grants you superhuman powers.

One of my life lessons came from 08th MS Team. I learned that all people, whether they are a productive member of society or a terrorist, are still human.

08th MS Team also gave me inspiration for the underlying theme in my novel: the line between good and evil is blurred when both sides are equally corrupt. I also decided to model one of my characters after Shiro Amada.

Judgedread:
All girls 12 years+ have huge racks.

All villains no matter how powerful will all be killed by that whinny brat or emo kid.

Monkey D. Luffy is by no means a brat or an emo and yet he kicks so much ass.

People have at least 12 litres of blood in their bodies.

Also:

ReincarnatedFTP:
Gunshots don't kill unless you've emptied a John Woo clip.

That's impossible, you know John Woo clips don't run out of bullets! :P

Really?

I saw it when I was like 8 on Toonami, before they edited it, and jus thought it was the coolest thing EVER. Also I later came to like for being the only actual "war" series in Gundam, and not about the big "hero" Gundams but about the the on-the-ground actually fighting the fight soldiers.

Crimsane:

The trick, of course, is that no one kills. Otherwise we'd have no use for reoccurring villians!

The more likable you are in a series or anime (or aanime-esque) video game, the more likely you are to be killed.

Isara

Crimsane:

Oh My God! That's better than when CNN said the Michael Jackson can only die once. Wow!

When a female is scared she will ball her hands into fists, draw them close to her bosom, and close her eyes tightly while looking downwards subsequently making some sorta reamark.

am i in the ball park?

The main characters biggest threat in the said episode will fuck his shit up right outta the gate. After some training and "meditating" he will come back and either tottaly wreck the guys shit, or just barely win with a powerful new move. *Cough* Goku vs Freza *cough*

...Do not anger the Japanese, thats what I learned. I'm serious, I went to San Francisco last summer to visit my cousin. I was just walking around Chinatown and I saw this perfectly unassuming asian guy step out onto the street in a business suit, plant his feet, and just flex and scream. All of a sudden bits of sidewalk are levitating off the ground, the guy goes from asian man to Aryan fireball as he breaks the sound barrier down 5th ave leaving me, an incredibly confused, suddenly deffened white boy to gather up scraps of what used to be his clothing and seriously consider switching his major to something other than PHYSICS! I MEAN COME ON, THAT WOULD'VE MADE EINSTEIN'S FUZZY LITTLE GERMAN HEAD SPIN!

Main characters only get their best powers when they die. (king of hell manga)

No matter where you are the recurring annoying girl that you know will always show up on a stage that comes out of the ground.

Thanks you Ouran High School Host Club for this life lesson.

Paragon Fury:
Really?

I saw it when I was like 8 on Toonami, before they edited it, and jus thought it was the coolest thing EVER. Also I later came to like for being the only actual "war" series in Gundam, and not about the big "hero" Gundams but about the the on-the-ground actually fighting the fight soldiers.

I will admit it is the only Gundam series that I will ever watch again. The writing was sheer gold.

-Gundams aren't invincible
-Your enemy is fighting for the same reasons you are
-Zakus are actually a challenge to bring down
-The people who weren't so lucky to end up as mobile suit pilots actually aren't just cannon fodder
Along with several other things.

Even if you are a spirit you can still bleed. (bleach)

Laura.:
People have at least 12 litres of blood in their bodies.

Also:

ReincarnatedFTP:
Gunshots don't kill unless you've emptied a John Woo clip.

That's impossible, you know John Woo clips don't run out of bullets! :P

I think that may be the idea.

If an anime has swords and guns in it then you can guarantee that anyone with a gun will get killed first no matter what. Final Fantasy: Advent Children was guilty of this.

Also:

Being a qualified marksmen is no longer a required standard for military an police forces. Rather, you are expected to make up for your inadequecies with sheer volume of bullets.

If said sword-weilders don't get you first.

Jackasses.

The short girl can kick anyone's ass.


Blue-haired girls are in abundance in Japan

Drama summons at least a gentle gust to blow your hair around. Conversely, awkward situations temporarily still the surrounding atmosphere.

Even if you're fighting god himself, you can always get strong enough to defeat him through hellish training and/or sheer determination.

When sexually harassed, women temporarily become strong enough to send men into space. Screw you, NASA, we can just accidentally grope this woman and get punched to the moon.

Having large eyes does not pose a disadvantage in getting debris stuck in them more often nor do they increase ones field of vision.

Hair cells naturally produce distinctively colored chemicals and retain them after death, hence the odd hair colors. They are stiffer as a result, hence the odd styles.

Female school uniforms in Japan tend to have rather short skirts, ranging from practically normal in Azumanga Daioh to please-violate-me short in Sailor moon, possibly even shorter in ecchi/hentai.

If an activity with a focus on collecting is popular, it is extremely popular and has great influence over culture and world events, possibly to the point of supernatural intervention.

The first girl you meet is who you are going to end up with.

If you tend to fight a lot, conflicts will not be resolved quickly. The fights themselves can be quite lengthy, saying nothing about the chain of obstacles and events you will run into along the way to your goal.

Young cute girls are cute and innocent most of the time, but can be extremely murderous and disturbed {I.E. Elfen Lied).

During moments of asskicking and climax, kickass music will play.

Male-to-female genderbenders are attractive and hard to switch back to male.

While talking, transforming, or in many cases charging, no one will attempt to attack you.

Giant robots are feasible and used in favor of remote means of warfare.

Guns are useless. Note that this is by no means exclusive to anime.

Many girls suffer from a very sudden, extreme case of bipolar disorder (I.E. Tsundere). Conversely, some may be the opposite and show little emotion (Rei and Yuki are very good examples).

Heroes are innocent kids, brooding emos, or muscleheaded/very determined badasses. For some cases substitute "brooding" for "whiny" with emos (I.E. Shinji at times, though as far as I'm concerned some of that whining is justified and he gets too much hate).

There are more, I just can't think of them right now.

 (Pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
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