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Gone Gonzo  Posts: 3994 Joined: 18 Dec 2007     | |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1371 Joined: 7 Feb 2009     | Interesting topic. I'd have to say maybe Max the Reaper, bundeled together with the search bar. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2739 Joined: 27 Dec 2008  | I think we each have our own boss. Mine would be my dark self. As he's hardcore. And I'm lovely. :) ¬_¬ |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 4778 Joined: 17 Mar 2009  | I am going to beat with a rusty shovel anyone that says Max. (Too late) I candidate myself for one. My inner demons and crap. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1869 Joined: 16 Jul 2009     | Cthullu. Because every boss should be Cthullu. |
Red Guard  Posts: 5367 Joined: 14 Oct 2007    | It would be me versus Ultrajoe. Banmop and Dominator. One Epic Fucking Fight To End It All. Nuke would be the commentator and a band consisting of Jim Doki and PurpleRain would provide the music. Then paulguberman would laugh and the universe would explode. This might go down at Escapism '09 II... just you wait. People have different bosses, that's for sure. What one person sees as the ultimate end to all struggles isn't the same as what another person sees. I'm not sure that anyone would survive my scenario but I am prepared to meet Ultrajoe none the less. Never would a more difficult fight take place. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 4457 Joined: 8 Jan 2009   |
Max isn't that hard to beat.... I'll go with static IP troll. He constantly comes back because you can't IP ban him. You'd have to think of some epic way of getting him to leave. EDIT:
Could we have it so once you beat Ultra Joe, he transforms into Ultra Josephine just for kicks? |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1417 Joined: 8 Dec 2008    | At the moment of the great Epiphany, the darkness rolls back and thunder booms all around you. The Harbinger of Nintendo, cradling the cartridge of shame to it's breast. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1360 Joined: 17 Apr 2009    | It's a series of whippings by the contributors of The Escapist. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2794 Joined: 29 Oct 2008    | The Escapist Boss, I think, is the critter from ZP. He knows all your moves and has so many complex tricks up his sleeve that he's pretty much the guaranteed victor. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 4457 Joined: 8 Jan 2009 |
I beat that game...... mind you I broke 2 controls out of anger, but I did beat it. |
Red Guard Posts: 5367 Joined: 14 Oct 2007 |
EvilJosephine perhaps. That'd be especially fun. No, I'm Sparticus! |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1417 Joined: 8 Dec 2008 |
You're a braver man than I. |
Infamous Scribbler  Posts: 695 Joined: 5 Jun 2009     |
Damn ninja'd :) but great idea for a thread. |
Pulitzer Laureate  Posts: 996 Joined: 25 Sep 2008    | I could instantly wipe the floor with you all, using my ponytail. I'd be the boss. Of course, I don't do that, because I'm so nice. |
Pulitzer Laureate  Posts: 964 Joined: 12 Sep 2008    |
I'm sure some people will crawl out of the wreckage of this epic showdown... Then possibly an Epic Team Escapism AU09 I Vs Escapism UK09 Showdown. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1243 Joined: 29 Jun 2008    | Well I'd face my past of terrible posts. But luckily, an ally with italian blood in him would help me. SCAMOLA! As italians we help each other, for our country! But then again, i'm not popular enough to have a boss, so screw that. |
On the Record  Posts: 5380 Joined: 1 Mar 2009   | The boss should be a robot constructed by all the members of The Escapist combined. With MaxTheReaper and Neonbob as the heads. Their weapons will be the search bar, and they will have a flame shield. And their sidekick will be Chuck Norris. Or vice versa... Chuck Norris is never the sidekick. Some ideas came from this person.
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Press Junketeer  Posts: 476 Joined: 27 Jul 2009   | Peter molinue, you should have to make him burst into tears. The search bar would be too easy, only stupid people loose to the search bar. Either that or you must battle in wits with yahzee, you must do a more scolding review of yahzee than he does of you- "Zero Punctuation takes place on some form of tiny yellow Petri dish that grows out of place phallic jokes, displayed to us as an incarnate of a messy power point presentation." "Yahzee also permanently wears a trilby, presumably in case he must blend in with the American Mafia on short notice." It would be like that boss fight in phychonaughts. Also I really hope the yahzee fanboys don't read all that stuff I just written or they might assume I meant it. |
On the Record  Posts: 5345 Joined: 19 Feb 2009  | A small rabbit. Those evil little things are always out to get me. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2415 Joined: 23 Jan 2008   | The only way I can picture myself having any kind of enemy is if I go by the old Sith approach. Thus, my last boss would be my Sith master, Darth Mobius, and Darth Empyrean by his side. This would be unavoidable, as I, as apprentice, must surpass my master. I am already conjuring images. It would be glorious. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 4174 Joined: 29 Dec 2007 | Prehaps Archon? He is the real boss after all and he is also Sauron, or so I assume. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 3736 Joined: 24 Dec 2008   | The final boss of the Escapist will be a Ganon style boss where you should be able to send back the giant electrified sphere of cutting wit back to them but you just can't, it is too powerful, paralysed by fear you reply "wut" and swiftly get permabanned... the final boss, is LaCoil and NilCypher merged together in an unbeatable duo of mod fury, kinda like TwinRova from Ocarina of Time but instead of using your shield to deflect attacks you shit yourself and start crying. Then you cant watch Apocalypse lane or ZP anymore, your girlfriend dumps you, you lose your job and your car breaks down. Their are consequences to fighting the escapist final boss, tread carefully. |
Red Guard Posts: 5367 Joined: 14 Oct 2007 |
Hahahahaha. Oh, indeed there are. You must fear us, for we are mighty. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2784 Joined: 31 Jan 2009  | You must defeat 4chan, the Satin of the internet.... FIGHT |
Muckraker  Posts: 249 Joined: 29 Jul 2009    | You should fight the editor, since he is litereally the boss it seems fitting! ^_^ |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1176 Joined: 8 Feb 2009 | I think at least one of the stages of the boss fight (all the best boss fights come in stages) should be the DDKR kitty. BAMALAM!
Given that those two have both been banned, doesn't that mean you've already won? |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 4174 Joined: 29 Dec 2007 |
Thats the best part, they are Zombie Sith! |
On the Record  Posts: 5608 Joined: 28 Apr 2008  | He must fight the dreaded matriarch troll. |
Press Junketeer  Posts: 493 Joined: 10 Jun 2009   |
I think you should have to face a combination of these and people who hate them. The only way to beat this boss would be to turn it on itself and then manage to keep your calm while not enraging either side or getting caught up in the fire storm that ensues. If you are left standing when it is all over you have won. |
Red Guard Posts: 5367 Joined: 14 Oct 2007 |
He has to fight me next. |
Pulitzer Laureate Posts: 964 Joined: 12 Sep 2008 |
Yea, and the mod wrath that occurs. So they all get perma-banned and i walk off without a scratch (probation) Then i move onto the 'epic' battle that goes on afterwards. Actually, it's almost like the end of the first fable. |
Press Junketeer Posts: 493 Joined: 10 Jun 2009 |
That is what I meant by left standing. |
On the Record  Posts: 6551 Joined: 21 May 2009  | The army of grammar nazi's with there minion trolls they are educating:) |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 2415 Joined: 23 Jan 2008 |
Yes. Yes it does. I have won the Escapist. But it's a secret, so keep it down. Also, the DDKR kitty as last boss is an awesome idea. I suppose I shall have to go through that after I'm done with Labyrinth. |
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So you log onto the Escapist one day, doing the normal stuff, when suddenly you realize that you now have the largest post count (all excellent posts), the longest time spent on the forums, the most well received person. You liked by all and treated with the utmost respect. The amount of fame you have gathered is beyond compare and may well possibly be a member of staff, or maybe not because you're so cool. In all aspects you have beaten The Escapist, you've won and the year supply of pretzels that comes with beating a website is nearly in your grasp. Nearly because you see, there's a snag. As this is a video game forum it goes without saying that there must be a boss for you to beat.
So what could this boss, for you, possibly be. Would it be the search bar, Yahtzee, you're dark self or maybe even a collection of horrors? Who knows what confrontation is awaiting you at the end. The answer is nobody knows, so it is time for you to speculate Escapist. What would you're www.escapistmagazine.com boss be? Would it be a tough boss fight or would it be easy? Do you think you are prepared for this encounter? Is it likely that you will even survive? Do you think that everyone shares the same boss or do we have our own?
Tell us what you think.