Christianity class.
'nuff said

My teacher tried to tell me that the x(used as times or multiplying) was in fact x, and when put into a microscope low power objective it was 10x(Ex) not 10x(Times), so I called her out on it and she said "Brendan, does it really matter?" to which I replied "Yes, because x(Ex) is a letter, not a term." She hates me. She also pronounces Pattern as Patteren. She thinks Celsius is spelled Celcius.

I HATE HER!

Edit: Science Teacher, if you hadn't figured it out

Having faith makes you better than other people

Communism is a totalitarian regime with a command economy, and has been shown not to work by the former USSR. This in a college class on government.

Hate Homec. And math. Math serves a purpose and that's why I dislike less but I still dislike it.

My teacher tried to convince me that if timetravel is possible, then we would know about it (as they would, no doubt, eventually visit a time before ours), and I ended up argueing that they could cause a paradox, thus causing themselves or others to not exist, and therefore avoid telling people they were from the future. She then responded "Be quiet, you're wrong" because she hated me.

skyfire_freckles:
I was spinning a globe during free time in second grade, looking at all the continents, when I suddenly realized that Africa and South America would fit together almost perfectly. It made me think about what my dad had said about earthquakes, so I went to my teacher and explained my theory: that once upon a time, the continents had all been together once, but earthquakes had broken them apart over time.

She said, "No, of course not," like it was ridiculous. Then she went on to say that the world had always been just the way it was, and would never change.

What the hell?

She must have forgotten about the Continential Drift theory...

As for me, I've been lucky to have accurate teachers. Bitchy and downright evil in one case, but accurate.

Every factor in a film/book was placed there on purpose.

That I was lucky to be born in a developed country.

Luck had nothing to do with it, my parents fucked in Canada, lived in Canada, and went to the hospital where I was born in Canada.

my health teacher said all guys used to have vaginas before we were born. that may go for every one else but my friend has been there forever

Being a devout Athiest I have picked holes in just about everything I've ver been taught in RE class.

I won't go into specifics to avoid incting rage.

That Germans started World War One.

The Germans didn't start the war, they just got the blame because they lost it.

Also, I'm not sure if this is related to education, as I don't remember a teacher telling me, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't come to the conclusion that being gay was illegal, and keep it for 12 years on my own.

Kloffy:
My history teacher essentially told the class that the US bombed Hiroshima and Nagasaki immediately after Pearl Harbor was attacked. She then used this misinformation to imply that the nukes were completely unnecessary.

Wha? Everyone knows it was the Chickens and the Cows that bombed hiroshima and they blamed the dolphins and whales for it.

Just Joe:
Oh, and I just remembered this:
What did you learn in school today,
Dear little boy of mine?
What did you learn in school today,
Dear little boy of mine?
I learned that Washington never told a lie.
I learned that soldiers seldom die.
I learned that everybody's free.
And that's what the teacher said to me.
That's what I learned in school today.
That's what I learned in school.

What did you learn in school today,
Dear little boy of mine?
What did you learn in school today,
Dear little boy of mine?
I learned that policemen are my friends.
I learned that justice never ends.
I learned that murderers die for their crimes.
Even if we make a mistake sometimes.
That's what I learned in school today.
That's what I learned in school.

What did you learn in school today,
Dear little boy of mine?
What did you learn in school today,
Dear little boy of mine?
I learned our government must be strong.
It's always right and never wrong.
Our leaders are the finest men.
And we elect them again and again.
That's what I learned in school today.
That's what I learned in school.

What did you learn in school today,
Dear little boy of mine?
What did you learn in school today,
Dear little boy of mine?
I learned that war is not so bad.
I learned of the great ones we have had.
We fought in Germany and in France.
And some day I might get my chance.
That's what I learned in school today.
That's what I learned in school.

Wait - is that satire, or did you actually get taught that song in school?!

pimppeter2:
x=6

but it can also equal 1 2 4 35 252 62 241 5426 73 33 5255 and every number you can think of

MATH IS A LIE

What you said doesn't have to be true. In the case of X+7=12, X=5 and no other number.

My 8th grade science teacher told us that too much of anything can kill you...except water. I argued with her for 5 minutes before she wrote me up and sent me to the office. Too much water can kill you. Either over time where you get kidney failure or at once where your body just drowns(I think).

She also said that there is no absolute zero scale for the English system. It's Rankine! its -459.67F. Argued with her for 3 minutes on this before she sent me to the office. We had another argument involving the unit of mass for the English system too which is the Slug.

Maybe this is just convention but, mercury is in these thermometers(the ones with the red stuff in them) and will kill you if you drink it/touch it. Pretty sure we switched to that organic substance so that wouldn't happen.

open trap:
my health teacher said all guys used to have vaginas before we were born. that may go for every one else but my friend has been there forever

Well, the default for human is female.

lenin_117:

pimppeter2:
x=6

but it can also equal 1 2 4 35 252 62 241 5426 73 33 5255 and every number you can think of

MATH IS A LIE

What you said doesn't have to be true. In the case of X+7=12, X=5 and no other number.

sure it can. Just change the base you are using.

RabidusUnus:
My school is pretty decent, but they still teach that there are 3, and ONLY three, states of matter. Plasma doesn't wink out of existence as soon as you enter the damn building.

Taht reminds me - our teacher asked us what the four states of matter were, and we obviously all said 'solid, liquid, and gas', but most of us were stuck on the last one, so I put my hand up and said 'plasma'.

Then my science teacher says 'No! Plasma isn't a state of matter! The fourth stat of matter is actually something that has been dissolved in water!'

Hopefully my final post here - I've done about four :P

Anyway, in Primary School you're alays taught that push and pull are forces (which has always been wrong), but then in Year 7 we were taught that twist was a force as well!

How I facepalm.

zeldakong64:
That water doesn't expand when it freezes

I sure proved that wrong coupla days back when I forgot an unopened beer can in the freezer. :D
A lot of sticky foam and yellow ice occurred.

I can't remember any direct lies being told to me in school, but I used to get thrown out of our English class (I'm from Finland) for correcting our teacher. She kept confusing disturbingly many words with each other considering she was supposed to be a qualified language teacher. For example roof transposed with root, sheer <-> shear or share, and also she didn't quite understand wtf was I talking about when I said 'baseball bat'.
I mean, some of the weird mistakes could be explained by her being Russian - admittedly it must be hard to teach English in Finnish if you're not native to either one - but it's no bloody excuse!

Also suggesting that the history books tell the truth was pretty rich. Ever since I got truly interested in history I have found that it's mostly about lies, subjective views and direct or indirect misconseptions.

I remember loving Physics in GCSE, and wanting to take it in A-Level

Unfortunatley, this made A-Level Maths a nessecity, which is the bane of my life AND would take up another slot for something that would make me miserable, also our Physics teacher left, so it was a gamble whether we'd get someone decent or half as good as him

My mates, however, DID take it, and they explain the basic stuff they learnt to me. Turns out tha the shells don't go 2,8,8 etc as I belived, or ANYTHING else.

IT WAS ALL...FUCKING...LIES!!!!

AAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!

Deralix:

Vuljatar:

"The civil war was about slavery"

[sarcasm] shure was herp durp [/sarcasm]

Lincoln was just pissed at the country splitting in half and didn't want to have that on his record. I think the slavery thing was thrown in for good measure.

SirBryghtside:

Just Joe:
Awesome song.

Wait - is that satire, or did you actually get taught that song in school?!

It's just a song.

pimppeter2:
x=6

but it can also equal 1 2 4 35 252 62 241 5426 73 33 5255 and every number you can think of

MATH IS A LIE

hahaha so true!

Damn now I am actually glad I go to a charter school. The teachers are crazy but they have their material straight.

OT: I once had an argument with my science teacher about Troy ounces. Wtf.

Anarchy In Detroit:
I had a teacher who said she didn't believe in evolution. Pretty much sums you up as a stupid fuck to me. This was of course while she was teaching the required evolution curriculum... only to indignantly dismiss it afterwards. Whatever, at least she taught it right.

So...... if she doesn't believe in what you think is true, she is a retard? Tell me if you see whats wrong there.

Spasticeagle:
That black people have smaller brains than white people, and are naturally more violent and prone to commit crimes simply because of their race....
Oddly enough, this was from a substitute teacher talking about segregation in the US, and went on to talk about how it wasn't as bad for blacks as the jewish run media likes to point out.
Never had her again, I think/hope she was fired.

You sure she wasn't trolling? Anywho, on topic: I went to a christian school for a while, so you can guess where I got my healthy dose of indoctrination.

GCSE Chemistry is full of lies, just wait 'till you get to A Level. In fact even A Level Chemistry is a simplified version of what it really is...

I was taught that dolphins were fish.

Deralix:

Vuljatar:

"The civil war was about slavery"

[sarcasm] shure was herp durp [/sarcasm]

The civil war was about slavery. Somebody else posted in this thread that they were taught that the civil war was started to free the slaves, which is untrue. But it was started because of disputes over how far slavery should be allowed to spread. The whole "States' Rights" thing is exactly the sort of revisionist history that many US History textbooks are guilty of.

stinkychops:
Every factor in a film/book was placed there on purpose.

I studied some drama and literature in high school, and we were taught to strive to prune all pointless elements out of our writings. However we were also taught that the term "pointless" is ambiguous at best and ultimately it's in your own critical consideration what is needed and what not.

Monkeyman8:
Communism is a totalitarian regime with a command economy, and has been shown not to work by the former USSR. This in a college class on government.

I have heard this multiple times. I never ceases to amaze me when people comapre communism to fascism. They are completely opposite.

crudus:
My 8th grade science teacher told us that too much of anything can kill you...except water. I argued with her for 5 minutes before she wrote me up and sent me to the office. Too much water can kill you. Either over time where you get kidney failure or at once where your body just drowns(I think).

Maybe this is just convention but, mercury is in these thermometers(the ones with the red stuff in them) and will kill you if you drink it/touch it. Pretty sure we switched to that organic substance so that wouldn't happen.

Yes if you drink to much water you will die, most likely from you blood-salinaty levels dropping dangerously low(from being diluted), or from kidney failure.

And modern thermometers dont use mercury, but back in the day the did, and that shit is toxic.

Distorted Stu:
This pissed me off, but in RE (religious education), i was reading a book and i noticed that it said the "Little boy" nuclear bomb dropped during world war 2 was the size of a cricket ball. Then my teacher quoted it word for word while talking about war. I loved this teacher she was awesome but i had to challenge her so i spoke up "google it, the thing was huge and they had to climb into the back of it to arm it. You cant climb into a cricket ball!"

what are you forced to take religious education or something? it's poped up like 8 times now.

pimppeter2:
x=6

but it can also equal 1 2 4 35 252 62 241 5426 73 33 5255 and every number you can think of

MATH IS A LIE

that depends how you cut it....like a cake

Sex education.

"Girls don't like it rough and dirty like in the movies.
They want it soft and romantic."

But the only thing the boys really was told was:
"It's okay to masturbate, you won't get hair in your hands"
- said by the creepy 30 year old man.

So the bottom line on all that was that girls are all sweet and innocent while boys are demons.
One of the most inaccurate lessons ever.